From: Samantha Geldens [[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, July 01, 2001 12:23 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [WAML] [Play/Fic] Mychael Mouri and the Holy Grail! NEE!!!!!! ^_^;;
I don't know WHAT is going through my head right now... *grumbles* it's 12:14 AM and I'm STILL online?! Damn... Mom told me to go to bed early, too... >_< ah, well.... here's a little something I dug up out of my files!!! Some of you may remember it, some may not... Most of you should remember Kia Purity's "Ronin Plays" and how I used to have a hobby of rewritting them! well... here's the first one I managed to type up!!! revised and everything!!!! ^___^ enjoy!!! (yes, I know this is basically plagarism... but I look at it as honoring Kia Purity... ^^;; she's such a humorous writter, after all! Introduced me to the wonders of Monty Python and the Holy Grail! That she did!!! ^__^)
 
= = = = = = = = = = = =
 
 MYCHAEL MOURI AND THE HOLY GRAIL
(YOU SAW IT COMING!)
by Kia Purity. Rewritten by S.C.Mouri
 
Note:
 
Everyone, you did see this coming from a mile away didn’t you all? As far as you can tell, this is another Ronin Play…
Japan is the most pleasant place to visit in the summer! Watch out for those DATS! They once bit my sister Rera!
 
BUT THIS TIME… it’s a new one! The one that is something like Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail! Yesss…you got it!
No really! She was teaching it how to fill out forms and mix concrete at the same time! It just hauled off and bit her! Yumpin’ Yimmy! I cannot take a bath without those DATS jumping in with me!!
 
THE AUTHOR WISHES TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE PERSONS WHO WROTE THE NARRATIVE IN ITALICS HAS BEEN SACKED.
I’m not sacked. HA!
 
THE AUTHOR WISHES TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE SACKERS WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO SACK THE NARRATOR HAS BEEN SACKED. THE AUTHOR HAS HIRED ANOTHER NARRATOR—THIS TIME A NARRATOR FROM A ROMANCE NOVEL.
 
Therefore, if you can’t get to the ending quickly enough…without laughing until you turn blue and pass out. I understand. This was intended to do that.
Mia sighed heavily, with a longing for Dais. She was gasping for air as she realized a DAT was drinking out of her glass of Perrier.
 
THE AUTHOR WISHES TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE ROMANCE NOVEL NARRATOR HAS BEEN SACKED. THE AUTHOR HAS HIRED A COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT AT THE LAST MINUTE AND AT A GREAT EXPENSE.
 
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...............*complete with flashing lights. :)*
 
*CHANGING REELS IN THE PROJECTION BOOTH* GO AND GET YOUR POPCORN!
 
Ryo: ……I’m supposed to be King Arthur?! This is THE last time I’m letting Sam give Mychael full responsibility over a play!
*finds himself pretending to ride a horse when he dosen’t see the horse*
Ryo: … MYCHAEL!!!
*silence*
Ryo: SAM!
*silence*
Ryo: Dammit.
*stops and stares at Talpa who just killed a knight*
Ryo: WHAT THE HELL?!
Talpa: NONE SHALL ENTER!
Ryo: Okay.
*chops Talpa’s arm off*
Talpa: JUST A SCRATCH! COME ON YOU PANTSY!
Ryo: …..
*chops Talpa’s other arm off*
Talpa: JUST A FLESH WOUND!
Ryo: Give me a break Talpa! You’re a ghost for goodness’ sake!
Talpa: COME AND GET ME! SISSY!
Ryo: ….
*chops Talpa’s leg off.*
Talpa: YOU CHICKEN! COME ON!
*runs at Ryo*
*Ryo chops Talpa’s other leg off*
*Talpa is nothing but a limb, yelling at Ryo*
Ryo: This is too weird. I’m Leaving…
*rides off and runs into a group of monks dressed like the Ancient*
Monks: *chants in latin and boinks themselves on the head with wooden boards*
Ryo: …
*finds Rowen*
Ryo: ROWEN???
Rowen: Don’t ask. *Ties a coconut to a European swallow*
Ryo: It’s Mychael’s fault isn’t it??!
Rowen: I have no idea. She’s writing this.
Ryo: I wanna go home.
Rowen: Unfortunately we have to go along with this play.
*Ryo looks like he’s gonna die*
Cart guy: DEAD PEOPLE! DEAD PEOPLE!
Ryo: WHAT!! LET’S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!
 
Narrator: Therefore King Ryo found Sir Rowen, But, There are more knights of the crooked table! Sir Kento the Hog, Sir Sage the Skilled, Sir Cye the wimp who wimped out in Kikoutei Densetsu and nearly got killed from being slapped by his sister, and Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. The tale now begins…
 
Cye: WIMP?!
Kento: Hog?
Sage: SKILLED????
Rowen: …
Ryo: Mychael’s fault.
*Sam pops in*
Sam: I don’t think Mychael’s gonna be causing any more trouble for the moment…
Ryo: And why is that?
Sam: *glares* I got a teensy bit mad at her for the “Cye the Wimp” part…
Sage: figures…
Rowen: Get on with the story! Lady Sam the Kind? YEAH RIGHT…
*gets hit in the head with a frying pan which knocks his head shield back down*
Rowen: OW!
*thunder*
God: FIND THE HOLY GRAIL! LOOK FOR IT BECAUSE YOU SHALL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLAY ALIVE!
*the clouds close with a clang*
Ryo: Well, lets find the HOLY GRAIL AND NOW!!!!!!
*all of the ronin “knights” run off*
 
French guard: Eh? Who’s dat?
Ryo: Dat?
Sage: He means the Dat.
Rowen: Talpa headed dogs.
Kento: Actually…
Sekhmet: THEY’RE “DOGS ARE TALPA SISSY!!!”
Cye: Why are you here?
Sekhmet: I’m here? Oh! SAYONARA!
*leaves*
Everyone: ….
French Guard: I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!
Ryo: YOU’RE ASKING FOR IT!!! FLARE UP NOW!
*nothing happens*
Ryo: EH?! What the hell?!
*Lady Mychael of the Dead comes in*
Mychael: I have no idea how this happened. All of a sudden, the story got out of control. So we lose our powers in the process.
Sam: HOW DID YOU GET REVIVED SO QUICKLY?! O.o
Mycheal: *shrugs* I dunno. Your spork of doom ™ dosen’t exactly inflict much damage...
Sage: “Spork of  Doom?”  O.o
Cye: Since when did you have a “Spork of Doom?”
Sam: Serena-Mihoshi, Kimberry (not a fruit), Jennefairy and I were coming up with weird weapons for everyone. I claimed the Spork of Doom ™.
Cye: I forget what you weirdos are like at lunch…
Rowen: Is that why I now have this thing? *holds up a spoon*
Sam: yup. Spoon of Strata ™
Kento: uhh… *holds up a plastic hamburger*
Sam: *giggles* Hardrock plastic Hamburger ™
Sage: … this thing too? *holds up a hairspray bottle*
Sam: Halo Hairspray ™!
Ryo: *sweatdrops* … This?? *holds up a waffle*
Sam: *collapses giggling*  hehhehheh… Wildfire Waffles ™!!!
*everyone stares at Cye*
Cye: … umm… Sam? I never got a weapon…
Sam: I know. I diddn’t want to do something embarrassing to you!
*steph falls through the ceiling and lands on a table*
Steph: I still like Torrent’s Toilets!!
Everyone: …..* sweatdrops*
Sam: *growls* NO!! I told you Steph! It’s a BIFFY! Not a TOILET!
Steph: *smiles* Ja! *leaves*
Everyone: …
Mychael: ANYWAY… As far as I know, we’re gonna be stuck in this play until we find the holy grail.
French Guard: FETCH THE COW!
Everyone: EH?
*cow flies over the wall and hits the ground as everyone runs away*
Mychael: NOW THIS MEANS WAR!
Rowen: I GOT AN IDEA! *whispers*
*everyone giggles and runs off*
*sawing sounds*
*clunk*
*bang*
*squeak*
*creak*
*A large wooden rabbit is being wheeled up to the moat as everyone runs away to hide*
French Guard: Oh! A present!
Ryo: now what?
Rowen: We leap out at night and catch them by surprise.
Sage: SAY WHAT?
Kento; Who are ‘we’?
Rowen: We! We leap out!
*Ryo groans*
Sam: You idiot. We’re not in the rabbit.
Cye: Uh oh… RUNNNNN AWAAAAY!!
*everyone runs away as the French Guards throw the rabbit over at them*
 
Quatre: Why are we in this?
Trowa: I dunno.
Wufei: Me too.
Heero: This is one strange play.
Duo: Much stranger than the others?
DATS: MEOW! WOOF!
Duo: I wonder how we got stuck in the room with the DATS…
Wufei: I have no idea.
 
Cye: I can’t believe we have to split up…
Minstrel: CYE THE WIMP… YES SIR! HE WAS WIMPY ENOUGH… TO PUNCH HIS FRIENDS… AND RUN… FOR HIS SISSY LIFE…
Cye: OH, SHUT UP!
*they walk by a tree which has three knights impaled on a large spear.*
*Cye gulps*
Cye: Think I’ll need my Yari?
Minstrel: Nah, you’ll just wimp out.
Cye: *rolls eyes* Good grief.
*they come across a three-headed monster, which looks mysteriously familiar—Three times to familiar*
Cye: Dais? Sekhmet? Cale? What happened??
DSC: No idea. This just happened.
Cye: Okay, Bye.
*Dais, Sekhmet, and Cale start to bicker.*
 
Sam: This is supposed to be Sage’s part but why me?
Mychael: *voice booms* Because, you made the mistake of letting me run a play! Now you must suffer my wrath! WUHAHAHAHAHA!!
Sam; *grumbles* This is one of my favorite movies too… Why in the hell did I let her take over anyway?? Eh? This sign looks like the one that lured Sir Galahad up to that weird castle full of whores…
*Sam mutters to herself as she walks up to the castle and is greeted by Innova*
Sam: GYAAAAAAAAH!
Innova: I have no idea why, but I’m supposed to torture you.
Sam: No! No!
Innova: … *reading from the script* “Lovely lady, wont you join me in bed? You must be so tired! You need a strong man to rest on.”
Sam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*Innova is still reading from the script*
Innova: “ Don’t scream, you know you want it….”
Sam: This is getting a little too ridiculous!
*Innova is reading from the script forever*
Innova: “And stop reading the script Bucket-Head. Act it”
Sam: … *giggles* I can’t believe Mychael wrote that part.
Innova: … HOW CAN I TORTURE YOU IF YOU’RE  JUST GONNA LAUGH LIKE THAT?!
Sam: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!
Innova: I know… *leaves*
Sam: Eh?
*Innova returns, looking a bit different. His hair is short and dark brown*
Sam: EH?!?!?!?! Damn.
Innova: Yes it is me, Elizabeth…..
Sam: Lemme look through this… *looks at script* “Elizabeth?” Who told you to use my real name?
Innova: The same reason why my name should have been changed before you said “EH?!?!?!?!”
Mychael: *voice booms* Oh, Sorry.
Heero: Better.
Sam: Definitely not better for me. *looks like she’s gonna faint right on him*
*Sage comes thundering in*
Sage: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM?! SAM, YOU’RE BEING CORRUPTED!
Sam: Sage! Let me stay! Please!
Sage: You are not stating any longer!
Sam: SEJI DATE!!!
Heero: Why do you have this Air-Headed idiot for a brother?
Sage: I AM NOT AN AIR-HEADED IDIOT!
Sam: STOP IT YOU TWO IDIOTS. This is a play.
Sage: I’m dragging you outta here.
Sam: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!
*Sage is dragging Sam out by her arm*
Sam: I bet you like to sleep with every woman.
*Sage stares straight ahead, yelling in an annoyed voice, turning red at the same time*
Sage: I DO NOT!
 
Narrator: Sir sage had saved lady Sam the Kind from her doom…. Well, it’s her typical standard doom. That occurs once every three months….. or is that two?
*Mychael throws a frying pan at the narrator*
Narrator: OW! Meanwhile… To King Ryo and Sir Rowen--- they weren’t as far as a coconut could get.
Crowd: GIVE US A BREAK!
*the crowd starts to shoot at the narrator with arrows*
Narrator: ….
 
Ancient: Hee hee hee ha ha ha…
Ryo: ….
Ancient: Hee hee hee ha ha ha …
Rowen: ….
Ancient: Okay! To find the grail, you have to go to the cave, then the bridge!
Ryo: … that’s all?
Rowen: Why are you laughing like that?
Ancient: Because I’m supposed to. Hee hee hee ha ha ha!!!
*Ancient and scene 24 dissapear*
Ryo: Huh? Let’s go…
Rowen: This is getting too weird…
 
*Ryo and Rowen arrive and Stare*
Ryo: What the Hell?
Knights: NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE!
Rowen; Now you know what cult Sam really belongs to….
Knights: NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE!
Saggy: YOU CRACK HEADS! STOP SNORTING COKE WITH VODKA!
Knights: Who’s that???
Ryo: Nani?
Rowen: What?
Head Knight: You must bring us the shrubbery! Nee!
Ryo: You crack-head.
*Rowen gets a shrubbery*
Head Knight: MORE!!
Sam: Nee!
Sage: STOP THAT SAM!
Knights: Ah! One of us!
Sam: NEE!
Cye: Cut it out!
Knights: AAAAAAH!
Sam: Nee!
Kento: PLEASEEE?
Sam: No. NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE! NEE!
Knights: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Rowen: Ow.
Ryo: I think I’m dead.
Sage: Uhhhh I should have left her with Heero.
Kento: I agree…
Cye: Heero?!
Saggy and Christian: STOP THAT YOU CRACK-HEAD! GET OFF DR PEPPER AND VODKA!
Sam: Huh?
Knights: Huh?
Ronin “knights”: WE’RE SAVED!
Sam: I don’t think so….
*Sage stuffs a brownie with chocolate that usually melts in your mouth into Sam’s mouth*
Sage: And that was the most biggest and the most expensive brownie I could find.
Sam: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMbetterthanmakinoutMMMMMMMMMMM……..
Cye: I HEARD THAT SAM!
Sage: Forget it…
Knights: AAAAAAH!
Sam: You idiot. *hits Sage* If you say the word, they will be in pain.
Kento: What word? And how did you eat that brownie so fast?
Sam: I’m a sugar junkie okay? If you say “IT” they are in pain.
Knights: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ryo: IT! IT! IT! IT!
Knights: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sam: …
*chases after Ryo around the Shrubbery*
 
Duo: What the heck were you doing Heero?!
Heero: Scaring Sam.
Wufei: Worked too well.
Trowa: But you almost had her.
Quatre: Hee hee hee… *nudges and winks*
*Heero beats up Trowa and Quatre*
T and Q: OW.
Duo: Don’t remind him. He’s deprived the way she’s deprived. *smirks*
Heero: *glares at Duo*
DATS: Meow. Woof.
 
Sam: Huh? What does this have to do with the play? WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO BRING UP MY LOVE LIFE?! Uh, I don’t have one. I’m too kind for one….
 
Kento: I’m out to rescue someone!
*runs forever until he gets to the castle and nearly kills everyone*
Kento: I’m here…..??????
Dais; My hero!
Kento: ……..
Badamon: Hey! How dare you…
Kento: I’m leaving.
 
Ryo: Alright, we’re supposed to find the enchanter named…. MIA?
Sam: Uh?
*Mia is throwing cans everywhere as the Ronin “knights” duck*
Mia: You seek the Holy Grail?
Everyone: Uhh yeah.
Mia: You shall face the horrendous creature at the cave to get it!
Everyone: …
*a cute little bunny is hopping around the cave*
Sam: HOLY CRAP…
Rowen: Grail, not crap.
Ryo: A BUNNY?!
Sage: I feel so stupid.
Kento: What do we do?
Cye: Dynasty Soldier!
*Dynasty Soldier walks up to the bunny and gets his head bit off by the bunny*
Everyone: AAGH!!!
Sam: I TOLD YA!
Mia: ME TOO!
Ryo: ATTACK!!!
*Everyone runs to attack the bunny then run back, screaming*
Sam: HOLY HAND GRENADE!
*gives it to Ryo*
Ryo: One… two… five…
Rowen: THREE?!!!
*Ryo throws it*
Ryo: THREE!
*boom*
Sam: Now it’s gonna be a delicious rabbit stew with sugar… hehehehehehehehe!
*they all go into the cave*
Everyone: What’s that writing?
Kento: Uhhh…
*They turn around and watch another Dynasty Soldier get eaten by the Black Beast of Arrgh!*
Kento: RUNNNNNNN!
*everyone runs all over the place being chased by the Black Beast of Arrgh!*
*the animator has a heart attack and falls over in his chair backwards*
*the Black Beast of Arrgh! disappears*
Sam: Wheew…
Sage: Man, that was scary.
Ryo: Cye?
Cye: I think I wet myself.
Everyone: EH?!?!
Cye: MYCHAEL MADE ME SAY IT!
Sam: *pats his shoulder* It’s okay.
Kento: Forget it.
Rowen: Now to the bridge!
*Everyone runs to the bridge*
Ancient: What is your name?
Sam: Lady Sam the Kind.
Ancient: What is your quest?
Sam: TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
Ancient: What is your favorite color?
Sam: Pink.
Ancient: Do you drink Dr Pepper with Vodka?
Sam: No. AAGH!!!!!!!
*SPROING*
*Sam is thrown into the gorge*
Ryo: Eep. She’s dead.
Sage: Who wants to go next?
Kento: Not me.
Cye: Nuh huh!
Sam: I’m back.
Everyone: HUH?
*Sam looks annoyed*
Sam: Don’t throw me in the gorge! Ancient, what is Talpa’s middle name?
Ancient: I don’t know… AAGH!
*SPROING*
Sam: He’ll be back. There’s a cushion. Sorry Ancient! Talpa’s middle name is DOOFUS!
*Everyone gets across bridge*
 
Duo: I wonder who is controlling this?
Heero: Don’t ask.
DATS: MEOW. WOOF.
 
Ryo: Let us in you French IDIOT!
French Guard: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Sam: you were supposed to use that line a LONG time ago… *groans* sheesh!
Sage: How do we get in?
Sam: Ryo?
Ryo: Alright…. Hey, we’ll make a deal!
French Guard: Eh?
Ryo: Let’s see if you can keep me from getting into the castle!
French Guards: Oui! Come! Come!
*The French Guards start building a trap around them*
Sam: Gosh… Mychael’s had one to many Dr Peppers… This isn’t how the movie ended.
Sage: Oh Boy.
*Ryo jumps out and onto the roof and slides off*
Ryo: DAMN!
*thud*
*the French Guards start building the trap higher*
Kento: Haha I can beat this…
*jumps and slides off*
Kento: S***!
*thud*
*the trap gets higher*
Rowen: No problem.
*jumps and slides off*
Rowen: FARG!
*thud*
*the trap is too high*
Sage: well…
*jumps*
It’s not so hard…
*slides off*
Sage: AAH! F***!!!!
Sam: Idiot.
Cye: My turn.
*jumps after the trap is waaay too high*
Cye: Crap.
*kicks the troll off the castle then jumps over the other side*
Cye: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII*!!!!!!!
*thud*      
*Cye has fallen in another French trap—the exact same one*
Sam: Help.
*jumps out of trap and grabs the Holy Grail*
Sam: The play is over! I have the grail!
French Guards: Nooooooo!!!
Mychael: *grumbling* Crap…
*Clouds open*
Mychael: Then return it too it’s rightful place!
*the grail disappears*
Mychael: Now you are free…*still grumbling*
*the clouds close with a clang*
Sam: YAAAAAAAY!
*everything returns to normal as Ryo groans*
Ryo: Headache…
Sam: Well, it really was a lady’s job.
Rowen: WAAAAH!
Cye: … why me?
Kento: Dang!
Sage: My hair is ruined….
Mychael: My turn to go crazy.
Ronin Warriors: NOOOOOOOOOO!
*Mychael starts to sing her LOOOONG “nee” song that takes forever and ever*
*Sam Joins in :)*
 
Think this is bad? Just wait for the next play!!! :) (Of course yes, this is the end of the play! I had to sack all the narrators since I got fed up with them. -_-)
= = = = = = = = = = = =
 
You like it???? ^_^ would you like me to continue rewriting Kia's many other Ronin Plays??? Oh! and I don't feel like being the only one posting stories up here... some of you others could to!!! Dosen't really matter what they're about, just as long as they're funny or they have anime in them.... well... I think I'll work some on typing up AoL... Oyasumi minna!!!
  

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