Poetry
"Reflections on Depression"
By Michael
Talkative, but not talking;
Competitive, but not competing;
Unique, but indifferent;
Productive, but not producing;
Strong, but lacking strength;
Looking, but not seeing;
An introverted extrovert;
Assertive, but not asserting;
Creative, but not creating;
An achiever not achieving;
Thought-filled, but speechless;
Not a veteran, but battle weary;
Listening, but not hearing;
Tired, but not sleeping;
An optimist turned pessimist;
In a stupor, but not stupid;
Alone in a crowd;
A person without personality;
A participant, but not participating;
Hungry with no appetite;
Day after eternal day...
Imprisoned with no crime;
Hopeless, yet hopeful;
A heart incapable of emotion;
Alive, but not living.
O doctor, I come to you in quiet desperation;
Session, after session, after session...
You provide little relief, but any is worthwhile;
There is sympathy in your words, but no
empathy in your heart;
You know, but do not understand;
You watch near powerless as my face grows
narrow, my skin pale, my eyes lifeless, my
voice fragile, my body scant, my thoughts
incoherent, my mind stagnant;
Can you hear my silent screams?
I wish you could do more, but you are only
human.
O medication, technology's answer, can't you
do something more?
I wish your relief was as magnificent as your
colors;
You provide little help, but any is worthwhile;
I am with you, and you with me; day after day,
week after week, month after month...
You have become part of my being.
O tempting Death, I fear You not;
I embrace You, we are almost one;
For you are Death itself, and I am living dead;
just a breath away;
I envy You, Everlasting Peace, how nice that
must be;
But Death, you are too easy;
You create more problems than you solve;
What of shaming my family, my friends, my
forefathers, my God?
I know You are ready for me, but I am not ready
for You;
I wish I could get thoughts of you off my mind.
O Master Depression, my cross to bear, you are
a mighty beast indeed; but I, a worthy adversary;
I respect your disrespect for me;
You may have me defeated, but I am far from
conquered;
Just as modest David struck down the leviathan
Goliath; I, too, shall render you powerless;
You may have escaped Pandora's Box, but Hope
will always remain;
My arsenal of: the unbounded love of my family,
my doctor's counsel, mutual support, and un-
relenting perseverence will break your evil grip;
You are of this earth and fleeting; my mind is
infinite; the human spirit invincible;
I live in joyful anticipation of the day, when you
are nothing more than an unpleasant memory;
I must always remember that it is darkest before
the dawn;
Ultimately I know, I will be a stronger person for
having braved your terrible storm.
"My Music"
By Jennifer
She questioned me
never repeating the same words,
just rephrasing them.
This bothered me.
I felt as though I was doing
something bad.
The music in my head.
It is not as if
the songs are a choice.
She continued:
"How often do you hear them?"
All the time
"And how long have they
been there?" her voice said.
After 5 or so minutes I had
had enough.
Regardless of how she thinks this
is not normal
My Music will always sing to me.
"Fear"
By Maya Hudson
Fear is a tangible ghost
It flits through your conscious
Like a swirling shadow
Leaving the footprints of a giant
And the handprints of a midget
Fear is the heart that pounds
And the butterflies that waltz
It�s silence before the storm
And the thunder during its rage
"The Isolated"
By Galig Dulin
Light gleams and she runs
Eyes of a frightened deer
Lies in her house of stone
With no other let inside
Crouching in the chaos
Of her mind
Face flooded in nothingness
A knock on the door
She rises and opens it
Graceful and swift
A child staring up at her
Fear on his innocent face
Turning to run away
Gently her hand stops him
Leads him inside
He speaks of the stories
The townspeople tell of her
Of an evil young woman
Crazy and dangerous
You should not approach her
One look at her eyes
They say will inform you
She dwells not in our world
But one of delusion
She bids him to look at her
Not ugly, not pretty
Sadness and confusion
Show on her face
Then smiling abruptly
She shows him her little house
With drawings and poems
She made on her own
She tells him of times
When her friends turned away from her
Her family shunned her
For something she thought
So she decided
To live in the forest
Away from people
And the problems they caused her
To forget the world
She knows she can never
Return to the town
The boy insists
That another might keep her
Her face grows cold
Tight and emotionless
Eyes growing wider
Betraying her loneliness
She runs to a corner
Shaking in terror
He touches her shoulder
And she tries to speak to him
But the sound comes out wrong
And the words are jumbled
Something about buildings
Large and triangular
Blue and sinister
And the boy backs away
LEAVE ME ALONE
She shouts unexpectedly
He runs out the door
And never returns
Now she wonders
Why she made him leave
But she is not surprised
She is always alone
"Another Hand"
By Jason
An observer in the background I watch intently
The cards dealt from where the fates have sent thee
Looking at my hand not wanting to reveal
The torment of emotions that now I feel
A King a card to which I know
The suit hearts and my feelings grow
A Queen with roses for (fair?)
Longing for that someone who will care
A Jack young and dreaming
Seeks only to find a wonderful being (you)
A Ten to show them the way
To the place where their dreams of happiness stay
The card's been dealt and must be played
Hope to see this through the (end?)
The card's been dealt for us my friend
Stay and play with the cards you're dealt
Know for sure your feelings' felt
The cards are there but one thing left to do
In this game for me to see you through.
"Ode To Christa"
By Eric
I've heard about angels
with halos and wings
Who come down
from heaven
and do divine things!
They help us
and guide us
along our life's way,
And they'll be there
when needed,
by night or by day!
I think all these things
that I've heard must be true
And one of my angels
must surely be YOU!
You are my angel Christa.
I love you now and forever.
WEBMASTER'S NOTE: I received this last poem ("Ode To Christa") from someone I thought I knew. Someone who could copy the words of a Hallmark card, but was not able to fullfill them. The most ironic thing is the words were there, but not the feeling from the heart. Apparently, it is harder to feel, then it is to steal. Our angels are always with us, but not often enough do we recognize them for who they really are. Too often we fall for the wolf in sheeps' clothing, yet still believe we're the shepherds of ourselves.
