Poetry

depression. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. If you have something

you would like me to post (regarding manic depression),

feel free to contact me.



Thursday At 4:00

i call my psychiatrist to tell him i have my life on my mind

and that i need to see him; need direction.

he responds that he can't see me until thursday at 4:00.

i go to him in hope that he will listen and offer guidance.

maybe he listens...

i talk too much; perhaps i feel as if i tell him

everything there is to know about me

he will discover a miraculous treatment

to make me healthier.

forty minutes pass...

he doesn't expose anything profound.

i leave the office still a bipolar,

still shattered, still confused, still lonely,

still angry, still paranoid, still sad.

is this progress?

an invoice in one hand,

newly signed prescriptions in the other.

and now what?

(drive off the the pharmacy, pick up the meds, swallow pills...)

my doctor asks if i'd like to see him two weeks from thursday,

is 4:00 fine?

Written by mi





Mania

flying high for a week

euphoria

intoxicating and addictive

owch

this time i "slammed into a mountain"

"hang gliding"flying...so UP

"crashed into a stone mountain."

"bruised, aching, swollen"

thought i'd have to claw my way back up

i fell so low, so quickly!

thank god my support system heard my cries

they picked me up and carried me.

now i struggle back up,

not alone

but on my own.

mania, the thing i hate to love.

written by mi





Baby's Breath

Mind gone blank

Trapped inside, a little girl

Fights to get out

Frightened of what awaits her on the outside

Breathing heavier and heavier and then she's

Punching, screaming, kicking

To get out from the place thats holding her in

Before realizing that the person outside

is Punching, screaming,kicking

to get out, to get away, to

Cower back into the nemesis

That her mind once was.

Written by Andrea

no,i don't want to

doctor i don't want to take that pill...

i don't want to feel like this...

i don't want to go to the hospital...

i don't want to die...

no, i don't want to do "the things i should"...

i just want "it" to go away...

i want to sleep...

i want to play...

i'd do it if i could...

maybe some other day...

Written by Sue





Depression Is

Debilitating, defeating

Deepening gloom.

Trudging wearily through

The grocery store,

Unable to make a simple choice,

Or to count out correct change.

Surveying an unbelievably messy house,

Piles of laundry,

Work undone, and not being

Able to lift a finger.

Doubting that God cares,

Doubting in my prayers,

Doubting He's even there.

Sitting, staring wild-eyed into space,