Just When You Think You're

Having A Bad day!

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of

forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male

was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,

flippers, and facemask.

A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from

massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.

Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up

in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving

trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters,

seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of

helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean

and then flown to the forest fire and emptied.

You guessed it...

One minute our diver was like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was

doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air !!

... Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the

kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it

accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle bars,

was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle

dumped onto the floor inside the house.

The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband

lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and

the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the

ambulance.

Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several

flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband.

After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the

wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was

spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the petrol,

and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come

home.

Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage

done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom,

sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette,

he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband

screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the

floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the

buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same

paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The

paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying

him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street

accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the

husband had burned himself.

She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them

slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down

the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically

with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric

kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked

him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking

his arm in two places.

Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.

It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the

bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Now...your day's not so bad, is it??