| The Return of Liquid Snake!!! It was another cold night in Alaska as legendary hero Solid Snake decides to turn on his television set. Just as he grabs the remote,his codec beeps............ Snake: This is Snake........i read you....... Colonel Campbell: Snake,its me. It was Roy Campbell,the disgusting old sexaholic who lives in a dumpster living off the scraps of thrown away fast food and oddly disturbing fetish magazines ranging from sex with animals all the way to sex with kitchen appliances. Snake: Colonel!!! I thought i told you after our last mission together that you were never to call me again!! Colonel: I'm sorry Snake!!! Jeeze!!! Bite my head off!! Calm down sister,this is a serious matter!!! Snake: Well then tell me,whats the problem? Colonel: Snake.........its your brother,Liquid.......somehow,he has come back from the dead AGAIN and has went back to Shadow Moses Island. We just picked him up on the satellite. Snake thought to himself for a minute and was completely confused. How could this be? How is it possible?What kind of magic is this?? Snake: Colonel........I dont understand how that is true!! You are a retired army soldier living in a dumpster,how can you pick up anything on a satellite!! Colonel: Nevermind about that.........we need you to return to Shadow Moses to stop liquid yet again!! Your our only hope!! I know you can do it,old friend!! Snake thought to himself for a moment,remembering that WWF Smackdown! was pre-empted by homosexual baseball,and found no reason to stay home now. Snake: All right,but as soon as i am done,im coming home and watching my damn wrestling! Hours later,Snake arrives at the Island......feeling a strange sense of Deja Vu, he proceeds with caution. Remembering all the crazy bullshit that happened to him the last time he was there, Snake quietly slips through the dank base. Suddenly,he hears a chomping sound around the corner........... Snake: (peeking around the corner...)omygod omygod omygod I am NOT alone here!! Please dont be anyone strong..... Looking around the corner,Snake see's a lonely abandoned Genome soldier munching on something that oddly looks like paint chips. Snake:(hopping out) FREEZE!!! HANDS UP!! Genome: AAaaahhh!!! Dont shoot me!!! When this place was abandoned,the others left me behind!! I survived by eating the walls dammit!! I dont even have a gun!! I am not a threat! Snake: Well........um......ummm.......i dunno what....I......um......AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (Unloads the entire clip of his SOCOM into the starving Genome Soldiers head) Snake: DAMN STRAIGHT!!! As Snake makes his way through the base,he enters the large chamber where Metal Gear REX was housed. As he enters,he see the unit is all rusted and rotted from being left there so many years. Snake: Damn.........i have looked this entire base over and havent found any sign of Liquid!!Maybe the Colonel was lying......... Just then,a beer can hits Snake square between the eyes. He looks and see's his brother,Liquid Snake,drunk off his queer british ass........ Liquid: Brother!!! So glad you could join me!!! im just knocking back a few brewskies..........want one!?!? Snake: Liquid!! How are you alive!!! im sick of having to kill you!!! I DO have a life you know!! Liquid stumbles back and slumps agains the now defunct REX unit,looking like he is about to vomit up something nasty....... Liquid: Brother!!! You should realize by now you can't kill me!!! Against you,i am invulnerable!!! Snake: Ok then smart ass......lemme ask you a riddle........whats big,metal,shot bullets and is sitting right above your head? Liquid: uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................. Snake: REX's rusted ass rail gun........... Snake then takes out his SOCOM and lands a perfect shot onto where the railgun connected with REX.............in its rusted state,it could not take the force........it came freefalling off of REX,landing right on top of Liquids now gelatine body. Snake: Hell yeah!!! Little punk,you aint shit!!! check me out!!! i whooped your AAAASSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Snake then returned to his home,and called Campbell........... Snake: Colonel, i've killed Liquid again.......and this is the last time! If he manages to come back again, I aint gonna kill him!! I'm retired dammit, im too old for this shit!! Campbell: Of Course Snake.........thanks for the help........and if you ever wanna come over and "hang out", i just got a new video called "James and his giant peech" ...............its about a boy and a goat........mmmmm.........bad goat.........who's your farmer!! WHO'S YOUR FARMER,BITCH!!! Snake: Sick bastard!!! (turns off codec) THE END |