12.31.04

he's just not that into you

Aloha Shannon!

I heard about this book on the radio, and it seemed like a good read, so I requested it from the library. It finally became available this week, so I picked it up and read through it in an hour or so. A lot of it is common sense, things I already believed in, but it was good to re-affirm to myself the standards that I hold:

I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.

I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.

I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.

I will not date a man who is married, or in another committed relationship.

I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

What are your standards? Never settle for anything less!

12.31.04 | 10:11 pm | Michelle
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12.30.04

I love Freecycle!

Hello Shannon, Ginger, and Jenny!

Freecycle strikes again! :) I picked up a 40 gallon long aquarium esterday. It also came with the cover, and two strip lights! The aquarium needs to be re-sealed in a couple of areas, but everything else is in good condition. I saved about $150! I'll have to go back tomorrow to pick up the stand, which will be another $110 saved! Our turtles will be so happy! :)

Today was a great day ... I found out that my co-pay for the new preschool/child care for the kids is $74 cheaper per month than their old one. And the bus is approximately $36 per month, so I'm still ahead of the game! I plan to use what's left towards our monthly membership at the YMCA. Thank you everyone for your prayers about this, everything has worked itself out very nicely!

12.30.04 | 11:09 pm | Michelle
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12.29.04

just a little bit longer mom ...

Someone (very well possible it was me) fiddled with my alarm clock and set the time 2 hours ahead. So instead of waking me up at 5:30, I got up at 3:30. I did feel a little more tired than usual, but credited it to some bad dreams the alarm clock woke me up from. Never one to doubt the alarm clock, I headed straight into the shower, washed up and washed my hair. Continuing with my routine, I slatherd on body lotion, then sat down at my computer to check email and my message boards. After I read and replied to my emails, I happened to glance down to the lower right corner of my monitor, again part of my customary morning routine, to see how much time I had left ... and the darn thing said 3:53 AM!!! WHAAT??

I immediately turned around and looked at the alarm clock, but it said 5:53 AM. Hmmm ... hoping that the computer monitor was incorrect, I walked outside and checked the oven clock, the microwave clock, and the DVD clock. All clocks agreed with my computer monitor. *sigh*

I'm sure most of you and thinking no big deal, just go back to bed until 5:30. But ... being the girly girl that I always sometimes can be, I don't like to go to bed with my hair wet. I guess my hair is officially considered long hair, as the longest layer now reaches just above my shoulder blade. I have very thick, somewhat wavy hair, which takes me 20 - 25 minutes each morning to blow dry and style.

However, as it it now 4:07 am, and getting very tired, so tired that its taxing just to breathe, I'll just this one time, go to bed with my hair wet. Of course I'll take advantage of the situation, slather my hair with a deep conditioner, and keep it wrapped in a towel while I sleep. :) Good night! Or is it good morning? Hopefully this isn't the way the day will go ...

12.29.04 | 4:09 am | Michelle
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12.28.04

options

Hi Cheryl, Shannon, Ginger, and Vanessa!

Thank you all so much for your kind comments and emails! I'm simply floored by the support and encouraging words I have received from the blogosphere!

Someone suggested that I open a PayPal account, so they can help me, but I had a bad experience with them a couple of years ago, when they were first getting really popular. Instead, I did update my Amazon Wishlist to reflect a couple of things we could really use, just in case anyone's feeling particularly generous! :)

Things are definitely looking up, I now have a couple of options regarding before & after school care for my son. We checked out the YMCA, and have qualified for a 30% off scholarship on the monthly membership fees and any class/event fees. I also discovered that children 8 and older are allowed in the YMCA unsupervised for up to 4 hours per day, and this is included in the monthly membership fee. So basically, Nick can ride the school bus to the YMCA after school, and hang out there until I'm able to pick him up after work. They do have an actual after school program that costs $16 per day (or $11.20 a day with my scholarship), the only difference is that it would be more structured with actual events planned for the kids. I'm just not comfortable right now letting him have free reign at the YMCA.

We're going to stick to the new daycare I picked out yesterday, because even if he went to the YMCA, he would still need before school care. My financial situation should get better in April, as long as I stick to my budget. I got behind in a lot of bills when I was laid off from my job, but I'll finally get "even" in April. At that time I'll be in a better financial situation to sign my son up for classes at the YMCA.

My son will come with me to work tomorrow, as I couldn't afford to put him at the YMCA again, but I overheard that the office will be closing early anyway, so it won't be too bad. He'll have his Gameboy, and we have cable tv, a vcr and dvd player in the breakroom, so he'll have a lot of things to keep him busy. I am so incredibly fortunate to have the job that I do, they are so understanding and supportive!!

So ... it was a dismal day yesterday, but many many many blessings were disguised, and now discovered. Amen!

P.S. A quick update on the soldier that Nick adopted that's serving in Afghanistan ... Nick received two letters back from his soldier, with pictures. He did send another care package right before Christmas, and is gearing up to do another door-to-door collection the second weekend of January. At this time, his soldier is set to come home in March, but his homecoming has already been pushed back twice, so we're praying it'll happen for real in March. Nick's newest quest is to organize a bake sale at school, once they get back from winter break, to raise money to send to World Vision International to help with the victims of the horrific tsunamis in Asia. He is soooo awesome!

12.28.04 | 4:02 pm | Michelle
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12.27.04

stress

Being a single parent is hard. Being a single parent with no family to rely on is hard too. For the first time, it's really hit me how hard it is for me to be a single parent. I've always just done what was needed to get the job done. I never stopped to think about it.

Nick has been walking to and from school because he didn't like the before/after school program. He is a very mature boy, very responsible, and very intelligent. We talked about safety issues and emergency procedures. Everything was written down, and he had several friends in the area to call on if he needed help. We called each other every 30 minutes until he went to school, or until I came home. This isn't for every child, but I thought it was okay for my child.

However, in the county I live in, children under the age of 12 aren't supposed to be home alone. I know that accidents can happen, and in hindsight, it wasn't a great idea to have him home alone. Pretty stupid, actually.

Without going into specifics, I have been cited by my county's social services for leaving my child alone and unsupervised. At first I was in disbelief ... me? Neglect? I was pretty horrified! But the social worker was very helpful and understanding, she said a mistake was made, and we have to go forward and learn from it. She said I'm not a bad mother, I was in a rock and a hard place, and made a bad choice. But it'll never happen again!

One good thing is that the social worker kinda told me which families living in my apartment complex aren't "good" ones to associate with. Some I already knew, but some were a little shocking. There's one kid that comes over almost every day, and she said I shouldn't let Nick play at his house. Which I don't anyway - all of his friends come to my apartment to play. I feel safer because know what's going on in my house. I don't know what's going on in someone else's house. At the end it was a little funny because she told me I'm safer off not associating with any of the families living in my apartment complex *L* Apparently, it's so bad, that the department says (jokingly) that they should get up a permanent office in my complex. Pathetic, isn't it?

So I've now got both kids switching to a different day care (preschool for Meghan, before & after school care for Nick). It's actually a really nice center, with a much smaller enrollment than the one they're at. However, because this day care is farther away (the old one was right across the street from Nick's school, so he could walk there), I have to get make transportation arrangements from/to daycare/school with the bus company. And because I live a block from the elementary school, and I wouldn't normally get transporation from the bus company, I have to PAY for the school bus. *sigh*

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I'm glad that things worked out for the better. The stressful thing is money. Everything costs money. I have a lot of things, but money just isn't one of them right now. *L* I'm fortunate to receive child care assistance from the county (they pay a portion, I'm responsible for the balance), but it won't cover the cost of the school bus. And I need to pre-pay the bus service. I'll have to do a little creative budgeting to come up with the money ... *sigh* This is why I sleep on a twin size bed, why I don't have cable television, why I have just two pairs of black slacks for work, and one pair of jeans. I'm not complaining or whining, it's just a fact. Moms everywhere always will go without, so their children will have the best.

Anyway ... hopefully the worst is over. I just keep reminding myself that God has a plan for me, and that it's all good at the end ... but getting there may be bumpy!

12.27.04 | 4:02 pm | Michelle
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12.26.04

a very productive day

I had a very productive day ... I did a little day after Christmas shopping, and picked up a 3' Santa (for my lawn), a cute Snowman tin/metal yard decoration thingy, a star for my Christmas tree, and various miscellaneous Christmas decorations and 50% off gift sets (getting ready for next Christmas' gifts!)

We also went to two Goodwill's to look for a dresser/table for the turtle tank. I can't believe how much they want for a used, scratched, dented, pretty much ugly table! For $10 more, I can get a new stand, which I plan to do. We decided not to get the new turtle tank just yet, instead, a friend offered to take the new turtles in the spring - he has a pond in his yard, and would love to have the turtles make their new home in it. We'll start again with little baby turtles soon after the spring. I think it's much better, these guys are so big, I can't see keeping them in a 40 gallon tank for their whole lives, especially when they can live 100 years or more.

I also did a little car maintenance ... washed and waxed the car, topped off the oil and antifreeze, and added air to my rear tires as they were a little low. It's times like this that I say a prayer of thanks to my dad for allowing me to be a tomboy, and the "son he always wanted." *L*

Aargh ... that time of the month must be coming, because I'm starting to break out ... ugh!

12.26.04 | 9:30 pm | Michelle
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12.25.04

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas FTS!

With my budget this year, I wasn't able to go shopping until TODAY. And it didn't really feel like Christmas until I dashed to Target to buy Nick's Gameboy after this incredibly rude lady bought the last 3 Gameboys at WalMart. I prayed all the way to Target, first hoping they'd be open early, and second that they'd have Gameboys. Both prayers were answered ... Amen!

Then I started to think how horribly sad I was, to equate "Christmas" with dashing to a store to buy a toy. How sad! I said apologized to Him, and knew that things would be different, starting immediately!

The kids and I did go to the mall for a few hours, we went to Build-A-Bear, and the Disney Store. The kids chose new pajamas to wear to bed tonite, and I picked up several t-shirts that were on clearance.

We also watched The Polar Express. It was an amazingly beautiful movie, and both kids were enraptured through the entire movie. It has a beautiful ending, and I know we were all affected by it as we left the theatre.

We also made a quick trip to the pet store. Remember those "free" turtles from Margaret? Well, those "free" turtles are going to cost me $250 for a new setup. Ouch! I didn't pick it up today, I had to go home to let it sink in. I have to get the new setup, the turtles are way too big for the one they're in, and they need the UVB light - the smaller turtle has shell rot, from the lack of heat, and lack of "dry land" in the tank. I could do it the easy way and give them back to Margaret, or give them to the Humane Society, but I feel a responsibility to take care of them, as I've accepted to take them from Margaret.

We did get a new dwarf hamster, Nick named her Nicoe. The pet shop girl was very patient with him, as he took a half hour to decide which hamster he wanted. She's not nippy and lets him carry her, which is exactly what he wanted. So, we are now a happy family consisting of one mom, one boy, one girl, two cats, two turtles, one hamster, and lots of fishies. Nick says all we have left to add are "a dog (or two) and some hermit crabs". Man, Wild Kingdom ain't got nothing on me! :)

I'm gonna wait another 30 minutes or so before I put the presents out, it's getting harder each year to put them out without getting caught. It's very important to me to keep the children's belief in Santa alive as long as I can. I don't want to ruin it by getting caught putting out the presents!

Merry Christmas Dave!

Margaret dropped off the turtles ... they're HUGE! She didn't know exactly what type they are so I searched the internet and discovered that Nicholas is now the happy owner of two red-ear sliders. Did I say they were huge? Dang, the smaller of the two is about 7" long, and the other is larger than a salad plate. They currently live in a 20 gallon long aquarium, but we're going to upgrade to a 45 gallon long tank. These guys are too big for their current setup. Egads ... free pets are never really free! Don't ever forget that!

I need to get a new aqaurium, UVB light, filter, heater, and various gravel, rocks, plants, etc. I want to re-create this setup. I also have to make an appointment with our veterinarian, I'd like to figure out how old these guys are, and what sex they are. Margaret said one's a girl and one's a boy, but I'd like to make sure.

They supposedly eat feeder fish, crawfish, mealworms and crickets, but I don't think I can go the mealworm and cricket route. Little feeder fish are okay, I think it would be cute to watch the turtles chase them, but I wouldn't want to watch them munch 'em.

Nick also reminded me that I'm supposed to get him a new hamster as Chip died last weekend. Dang, I was hoping he'd forget about that ...

[P.S. The title is a quote from Santa when Meghan asked him for a bunny rabbit last year.]

Just two more days left to shop, but I don't get paid until the 24th. I've never shopped on Christmas Eve before, I'm usually done by the 10th. I don't have many things left to buy, the most important would be the Gameboy for Nicholas. I have tomorow off, so I'm going to start wrapping and sorting and figuring out if there's anything else I need to get.

Kim, Mary, Maria, and Sue gave me presents today, I felt bad because I didn't get them anything. We had our Christmas party last Friday, and I thought that was the only gift exchange we were doing.

Tomorrow's shaping up to be a great day, I've already cleaned the entire apartment with the exception of my bedroom, so I'm off to a good start. Margaret will be stopping by sometime in the morning with the Christmas Turtles - she's giving Nick two box turtles, with a complete tank set-up and everything. It'll be cool!

I'm also planning to go tanning, I haven't tanned since September, and L said the manager's been asking for me, apparently he hangs out/works at a bar in Cedarburg, and he extended an invitation to me, through her. It'll be interesting to see what he says when I stop in today :)

Depending on how much time I have, after Margaret stops by, wrapping up all the presents, and tanning, I'd like to go see a movie. By myself. I've gone to movies by myself before, and it's not a big thing. I know some people that would never get caught dead going into a movie alone ... there's a stigma attached that you're a loser or you can't get a date. My take on the whole thing? I'm a confident, mature, adult that really wants to watch that movie, and it's a miracle at all that I get to watch it because that means the kids are taken off my hands and are being cared for the 3 hours that I have to myself. After years (almost my entire life) of worrying about what other people thought of me, and trying to be the person other people wanted me to be, I'm so done with that, and am confident and secure in who I am.

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up and briefly looked at it before opening it, but then she took a closer look at the envelope again. There was no stamp or no postmark, just her name and address. She read the letter:

"Dear Ruth, I'm going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I'd like to stop by for a visit. Love Always, Jesus"

Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table. "Why would the Lord want to visit me? I'm nobody special. I don't have anything to offer."

With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets. "Oh my goodness, I really don't have anything to offer. I'll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner." She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents. "Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least." She threw on her coat and hurried out the door.

A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk..leaving Ruth with grand total twelve cents to last her until Monday. Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm.

"Hey lady, can you help us, lady?"

Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn't even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags.

"Look lady, I ain't got a job, ya know, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it's getting cold and we're getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady, we'd really appreciate it."

Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to.

"Sir, I'd like to help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I'm having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him."

"Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway."

The man put his arm around the woman's shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley. As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart.

"Sir, wait!" The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them. "Look, why don't you take this food. I'll figure out something else to serve my guest." She handed the man her grocery bag.

"Thank you lady. Thank you very much!"

"Yes, thank you!"

It was the man's wife, and Ruth could see now that she was shivering. "You know, I've got another coat at home. Here, why don't you take this one." Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman's shoulders. Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street...without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest.

Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too. The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't have anything to offer Him. She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox.

"That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come twice in one day." She took the envelope out of the box and opened it.

"Dear Ruth: It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal. And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat. Love Always, Jesus"

The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruth no longer noticed.

It was a fairly uneventful day, thank heavens! Things at work are very slow, and won't pick up until January 3rd. All of the managers have met their yearly quotas, and are taking it easy during the holidays. I met the new manager today, she seems to be as nice as everyone says she is. Time will tell!

Jack invited me to lunch at La Fuente's on Wednesday. I'm so excited, he's a great guy, and I love La Fuente's :) Their salsa and margaritas are one of the best in town!

I have been baking cookies all evening for Nick's cookie exchange at tomorrow night's cub scout pack meeting. I was in the middle of my 4th batch when J came over. It was an unexpected surprise, he brought gifts for me and the kids - I haven't opened mine yet, but the kids got a smores maker, a Kerplunk! game, and a gift card to the movies. He's so awesome, he remembered my telling him Saturday night that I was going to take the kids to see The Polar Express on Christmas Eve. What a man! :) Every time I see him, I fall just a little bit more ...

It's like 5 degrees outside. Brr!! I didn't get home last night 'til 3 am. Dieter left early, but my keys were in his car, so J had to drive me to West Bend to pick them up before we could go home. I had a great time, it was awesome seeing everyone again!

We started off at L & B's house, and I brought gifts for everyone. L's mom was there, I love that woman!! :) Shannon almost started a fire - as she unwrapped her present, she dropped wrapping paper on top of a candle. I was there to save the day, yaay me! :) I also brought a present for Cody and Cherry, they are sooo smart, they knew exactly which present was for them and sat patiently until L opened it. Cherry took off with a squeaky toy, and Cody settled down with some rawhide. Those doggies are sooo sweet.

On the way to Circle B, L mentioned that Heather was jealous of me. ME! I asked her why, and she said it's because I'm where Heather wishes she could be, and I have a certain style, grace, and class that Heather lacks. I was very flattered, I never thought anyone would ever be jealous of me ... I'll have to think about that one for awhile ...

Anyways ... I'm gonna have to wash some laundry by hand ... I ran out of quarters and it's too cold to run out to the bank to get some. Hey, don't laugh ... with the windchill, it's like -8 degrees!

We had an awesome holiday party yesterday, the food and drink were flowing, spirits were soaring, and the holiday bonus was an extra special treat! I posted photos here if you wanna take a peek.

I'm going out with J, L, B, and a bunch of other friends tonite. We're going to Circle B, a bowling alley in Cedarburg to hear a band called "Road Trip". I've never been to Circle B before, and I've never heard "Road Trip" either, but I'm just happy to be able to spend with J, L, & B. I'm bringing my camera along, I need updated photos for my cube at work, and I'll be sure to post them here asap.

On a somber note, Nick's hamster, Chip, died today. I think it got too cold in his bedroom last night, I think somethings wrong with the central air, because it kicks off in certain rooms, but doesn't maintain the temperatures. Nick was pretty sad, we had a funeral and burial right alongside our patio, where I planted bulbs in the fall. Poor kid, this is his 2nd hamster that died in 3 years. The pet shop lady told me they weren't very hardy pets, and suggested rats *ugh* instead. I can handle hamsters, rats, though are not my thing. Hamsters are cutting it close as it is. Nick wants another hamster, but I told him we need to check out the central air first. I don't want another one to freeze.