(Kids and their Snowgirl, Winter 2003)

Hi there.  It's been a while since I've written...not sure if anyone is reading, but I thought I'd write an entry tonight.  Things are going well, I've been feeling good and moving along with my recovery.  Last month I wore a 24 hr Holter monitor to check my heart status.  The report came back saying that my heartrate dropped to a very low level while I slept.  (Twice actually).  Dr. Kovach, my congenital heart specialist, wants me to retest with the Holter in January.  If there is a concern, I'll need to have a pacemaker implanted.  I have tried not to think about that too much.  For a while I just wanted to be done with "heart" issues, ready to not worry about things anymore.  I wanted things to be the way they used to be when I never thought twice about my heart problem.  Now I'm thinking that was arrogant on my part - I am blessed by the care I've received and how things have turned out, and I need to be open to whatever else needs to happen in order to keep me healthy.  I don't know much about pacemakers, guess I have some homework to do.

Christmas is right around the corner.  We've been busy with the usual holiday stuff.  It's so easy to get caught up in all the "stuff" -- I'm trying hard to keep things in perspective for myself and for the kids.

This Monday, December 18, is the anniversary of the birth and death of our daughter Mira.   She would have turned 9 years old.  For some reason this year the anniversary is more difficult for me.  I often wonder how different things would be if she were here with us - who she'd look like, what she'd be like.  I recently learned of a friend of a friend who gave birth to a daughter stillborn last week.  My heart goes out to that mother.  It was her first child.  My heart aches for that family.

Well, I'd better go.  I should end on a brighter note... I'm sorry.  May God's presence be ever so strong in your life this holy season.  Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.  God bless, Michelle