| Reason 6 I was having a dream. That's why I almost lost my cool. Almost wigged or screamed or cried or God knows what else. It scared me. It was like this massive reality check that I really wasn't ready for and it scared the absolute shit out of me. Elias was there. And Dom and V and Hector and Mia were there too. We were at the Toretto's, in the backyard and everyone was smiling and it was warm and there was chicken on the barbeque like there always is and I can't remember anything feeling so good in a long long time. But then the clouds rolled in. There was thunder and lightning. It was raining so hard it hurt and they were all running inside to get away from it but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get there and the thunder was booming and I was so scared and I was screaming for them to wait for me. And then I woke up. And Shaun was there. And he looked so peaceful that I instantly found this calm that just washed away the clinging fog of the nightmare and made me feel safe again. I just lay on my side for the longest time and watch him sleep. Deep, caramel-colored skin, with gorgeous black lashes that anyone with two eyes and a heartbeat would envy resting so gently against his perfect cheekbones, and he looks wonderful, even though most of one side of his face is hidden from my view. He almost looks fragile. Shaun; hardened, seen it all, world weary, saved-my-ass Shaun, looks like he would break if I tried to shake him out of sleep. I prop myself up carefully, and find that Boof is sleeping pressed against Shaun's back, probably more for the body warmth than anything else, and Gimp is curled up beside him. All four of us a squashed on this one mattress like fucking sardines in a can. I ain't gonna move, though. I don't want to wake them. I was awake until four this morning, and Boof and Shaun hadn't returned from turning tricks by then, so I'd say they're pretty fucking tired and not wishing to be disturbed by me right now. I lie back down as carefully as I can manage, but when I turn my head towards Shaun, he's blinking his ebony eyes open, one side of his face is still against the pillow. Shit. Good on ya, Let. He smiles at me, though. Whispers a good morning. He gets up alot more carefully and gracefully than I could, and manages not to wake Boof in the process. I just roll off the side so that I don't touch anyone and try to be quiet about thudding against the floor. "You OK?" Shaun asks, offering his hand. I smile and take it, letting him help me up. As soon as I'm face to face with him, or as face to face with him as I'll get at my height, I notice the bruises. How could I not? It looks like his eye exploded! "Shaun!" I gasp pulling away. I don't know why. Maybe I'm scared I'll hurt him. I don't know. I just got this mental image of Elias after Chino was through with him. The result of six bottles of Dos Equis and having a heavy object in his hand. He'd been so battered and bloody and bruised that I'd just about broken down crying. *He* had to hold *me*. *He* had to comfort *me*. "It's OK, Let" Shaun says, reaching for my hand, trying to comfort me, just like Elias did, "It's alright. I'm fine". I take both his hands gently. He's not wearing his 3/4 shirt, just the jersey. There's a few bruises on his arms, marking the perfect caramel that was there yesterday. Mostly handprints from some cruel bastard holding him down. Shaun just stands there, totally silent, as I lift the bottom of his shirt gently, using my wrists to nudge it upwards as I carefully and gingerly run my fingertips up his ribs. His skin is marred by teeth marks from bites so hard and vicious that they'd broken his skin. More bruises, black, blue, purple. "Letty" he grabs my wrists gently, prying them away from him. I pull my hands back and hug myself, going into defense mode for some reason. I don't know what it is. Seeing him like this. Knowing what it's like when some keeps hitting you and hitting you even though you're crying and screaming and begging them to stop. "Let, I'm fine" Shaun says, bringing up a reassuring smile, "It's been worse. This is nothing. I'm *fine*". I just nod. Keep my face steely. I must seem like a bitch but, I don't know how else to act. I tried for pity and compassion and that's not what he wants, so....out comes good ole Letty the bitch. "Come and get some breakfast with me" Shaun says, waving for me to follow, even offering his hand. I stand silently for a minute, but eventually break and take his hand gently because mine are freezing and his are warm, then begin trailing after him. * * * * It's warming up today, which is nice. It's been really cold the past few nights I've been here, and I've not appreciated it alot. I'm from Mexico. I value my warmth. If the sun isn't out with its rays up to full power, and there is atleast one cloud in the sky, then it is not warm enough for me. And being cold makes me pissy. "So. You had a piss up last night" Shaun states, casting a sly look across at me. Atleast he doesn't look disapproving. I hate it when people try to make me change my ways by acting like they're upset with me. What the fuck do I care if they're upset anyway? "Wot makes you think that?" I answer, putting on my best innocent face. It's actually pretty hot today. There's a warm breeze blowing in off the ocean and brushing my hair lightly from my face. I can smell the salt and foam. We're at some cafe I've never heard of, on some coffee strip I've never seen, and the beach is literally a stone's throw away. Well, maybe a stone's *hurl*... I *can* see the water, though. I can see the sparkles on the cresting waves. I can see all these teeny-weeny little people swimming around out there. I can see a million different umbrellas in a rainbow full of colours. It looks like a giant kid ate too many giant jelly-beans and left a pile of giant and brightly coloured spew all along the beach. "Oh, just the empty bottles littering a public building and the smell of alcohol on you, which is really quite a turn off" he says, wrinkling his nose. I slap his shoulder playfully before I can stop myself. I'm about to make the apology of the century when he grins and winks at me, not even noticing my concern. "Here you are" the ditzy blonde who took our order puts down our pancakes and nothing's ever smelt so good. It's lucky we're sharing, coz this pile is bigger than me!! All soft, golden pancakes and perfect white dollops of ice cream and drizzles of chocolate sauce and a sprinkling of nuts and glazed cherries and slices of banana and none of this makes for a nutritious breakfast, but I'm so hungry that I could not care less if I tried. Shaun notices the look of absolute ravenous hunger in my eyes and grins, "Feeling a little peckish, Let?". I just lick my lips and grab a fork. I must've looked comical, because he starts laughing. I would normally stab him in the leg with my fork under the table for daring to laugh at me, but I'm afraid to damage the perfect little body he's got there, on top of not wanting to hurt him further than he has been. People *are* noticing. It's a little hard not to. Out here, away from the murky light of the warehouse where I first saw his injuries, they look even worse. Because of all the shadows this morning, the contrast between the dark caramel of his skin and the deep purple of the bruising around his eye wasn't as noticeable as it is out in the sun. No one says anything, they just look. Try not to seem like they are, but it's obvious enough. Shaun either acts like he doesn't notice, or he genuinely doesn't. I don't know if it's something Shaun's learnt to develop, or if he studied it in France for a while, but he's got this glacial shield that would rival Elias's on a good day, only it's selective. He blocks out what he doesn't like, and keeps what he does. It's like he creates his own little universe where everything that he perceives to be good is present, and everything that's not is banished. I wish I could do that, but I think it takes quite a bit of time to achieve, and right now, I have better things to do, like eat. I smoosh my forkfull of pancake against a lump of ice cream, hoping to catch some of both, then take a quick swipe at a collection of chocolate sauce before shoving the whole lot in my gob. When it comes to putting away food, I can eat anyone out of house and home, then go after their neighbours for dessert. That's why no one can work out why I've got such a small build. I eat like a hoard of football players who've just spent a week in the desert, but I'm tiny. I almost flinch as Shaun reaches out a hand and wipes some stray chocolate sauce from my chin. Almost. See, I'm getting better. I'm getting better at controlling my actions. Not appearing weak or vulnerable, even though just below the surface, that's exactly what I am. Elias has turned this skill into an art form. And that would make Shaun - Michael Angelo. "Sorry" he says, noticing my unease, even though I thought I did a really good job of hiding it. He pulls his hand away and absently wipes the sauce onto a serviette. I was afraid he was going to lick it off for a second there. Well, way to go, Let. I never fail in making a light situation unbearably heavy. So, we sit for the next few minutes in total silence. Me stuffing my face, and Shaun, shit, I'm sure he's counting exactly how many times he's chewing each bite before swallowing, and making sure it's atleast seventy each time, because I've just about tripled his efforts. "Can you smell that?" I ask, breathing in a massive lungfull of the salty ocean breeze, only asking in effort to lighten the mood which is threatening to crush me because it's so heavy. "The sea breeze or your terribly embarrassing Corona body-wash?" Shaun answers with a teasing smile. He was always sarcastic, but I don't know where this new vocabulary has come from. He sounds like a millionaire I saw on TV once. I tell him this. "That would be due to the fast that I *am* considered a millionaire by many, in case it isn't apparent enough for the likes of you to realise or comprehend" he smiles, then nicks the last cherry that I'm trying desperately to stab my fork through, which results in me coming dangerously close to gouging out fork-marks in his fingers. I open my mouth to protest just as he pops it in his gob. He smiles and lets his eyes flutter closed as though it's the best thing he's ever tasted in his entire life. Again, I resist the urge to stab him with my fork. "That was a bit harsh" I pout, and he winks at me, almost choking as he swallows the cherry. I can't help but laugh as he coughs and reaches for one of the glasses of water that neither of us have touched before now. He almost chokes on that too, and I could just imagine him spluttering it out everywhere and water coming from his nose. Fits of laughter follow. "Shutup" he gets out between coughs, splutters and his own chuckles, "Shut the fuck up, Letty". There goes his intellectual vocabulary. Right out the fucking window. "Make me" I answer, grinning as his eyes just about start to water, he's struggling that much to keep from choking or suffocating. I would give him a slap on the back, to tease him further and perhaps to help him out, but I'm scared that I'll hit an injury that isn't visible for his shirt, and that wouldn't be overly funny or helpful. Once Shaun's done dying over there, we finish up the pancakes, and he drops a few dollars on the table before we leave. It's nice out. The sun is shining and it's really warm out of the shade, where we were sitting. Shaun must've gone for an entire outfit change before going to sleep last night, because he's got on denim shorts that are as baggy as a circus tent on his slim frame, and his jersey. What I wouldn't give to get a peek at him without that shirt, eh? I almost feel unfaithful to Dom for thinking that. It's not like we're going out or like he'd ever want me anyway. It's not like I'm going to be struck done with great vengeance and furious anger just for having sexually orientated thoughts about someone who happens to be attracted to the same gender as me. It's not like I'm betraying anyone by thinking about Shaun without a shirt, no matter how gay he is. I can look, can't I? No harm ever came from looking, did it? Touching, that's another story... "Wanna walk on the sand?" Shaun asks, interrupting my thoughts and shifting to walk behind me as a slutty blonde roller blader in tiny denim cut-offs glides along the path. I'm still trying to get used to the way that he doesn't turn his head to watch her ass as she continues down the path. If that had been Dom or V, they would've practically stalked her for the rest of the day, just to watch that ass. "OK" I shrug, figuring it's better to weave around umbrellas than trying to dodge skate boarders and roller bladers and bike riders and the likes. Atleast umbrellas don't move. Shaun leads the way down a short walkway between fencing and onto the sand. We continue on in the same direction. My feet are slipping in the sand, though. It's hard to walk here. Almost not worth having to dodge on-coming traffic. "C'mon. We'll go near the water. It'll be easier to walk" Shaun grabs my wrist lightly and pulls me in the general direction of the ocean. Doesn't have to convince me none though. I'm with him on the whole walking in the sand thing. Once we reach the water's edge, Shaun stops to take off his timbalands, and I follow suit, taking off my shoes. I move to pick them up by the laces, when the world suddenly tilts and I'm being heaved towards the waves. "SHAUN!!" I bellow, because I'm not the type to scream, and I get a mouthful of salty water as I try to yell at him again. I go under the waves, and come up coughing a spluttering, my hair chock full of salt and sand. Shaun's laughing his cute little ass off, running away from me the best he can when the waves are trying to pull him back. I scramble up and charge after him. I've seen this run on 'Baywatch' where they flick their legs out to the sides to avoid the waves. Only I'm not doing it in slow motion while my boobs give me black eyes because they're bouncing so much. I just bulldoze after him the best I can while flicking my legs out to the sides. Shaun still beats me to the sand. Drops to his knees he's laughing so hard. Sits there, the legs of his shorts wet from taking me out into the waves, and laughs at me as I come out from the water, looking like a drowned fucking rat. I dive on him, and he lies flat on the sand, still laughing, as I sprawl on top of him. "I ought to kick yer fucking head in!" I practically yell at him, lifting up my top-half so that I can see his face. He's got salt water and little specs of sand on his skin from my hair, which is dangling in my face in ratty clumps. "Only if you can catch me!" he grins, throwing me off surprisingly gently. I roll onto my back on the sand, getting my hair even yuckier. Shaun yanks off his shirt, throws it on the sand, and runs into the surf. Even though he's got a few scratches and light bruises on his back, it's still a sight to behold. Dom's got all muscles and bulges everywhere, but Shaun's built more like a swimmer. You know how you can tell they're strong and you can see they've got muscles, but it's sleek, not bulky? Well, he looks hot, even if you can't picture it. He turns to face me, grin in check, before he lets himself fall backwards into the waves. I smile, shake my head, and peel off my wet socks. Then I head in after him. I can't believe this. I'm swimming at the beach with a hot gay guy I've known for a few days, after running away from home and not being able to find my long lost cousin because, unfortunately for me, he'd prefer to remain long and lost. But as crazy as it all is, I still jump on Shaun as soon as he comes up for air, acting like I've known him since we were kids, and he grabs my legs as I wrap them around his waist, stumbling backwards to stay upright. My mouth is dangerously close to his, and I pull back abruptly, almost falling, but I grab his shoulders just in time. Shaun smirks at me in a way that doesn't actually make him look like he thinks he's any better than me, which makes him the only person who can smirk and achieve that at the same time. Except maybe this guy I saw on TV once. The rich guy in that Superman show. Smallville or something like that. Lex, his name was, I think. Hmmm, sexy Lex with the sexy smirk "I do believe you're blushing, Arletta Maria Ramirez" Shaun says, looking slightly up at me. And this only serves to make me blush more. |