THE PIE RATINGS CHART!!!!

Q do it in stars, kerrang do it in k's, other magazines do it in boring old numbers, I, Gen Walsh, a certified pie addict, do it in slices of aforementioned confectionary item. Do I love it, do I loathe it? This is how you tell:

Ten Slices: I'm going to lock myself up in a room with this pie and just stare at it- it's simply too divine to eat. If I ate it, it would ruin my life because nothing would ever match up to just how tasty it is and all that exists around me would remain a hollow farce.

Nine Slices: Fucking hell! This is so nice- try and share it with me and you'll get a fat lip.

Eight Slices: If I eat this now I'll have no space left for dinner......I don't really want to.....hmmm.......ah, fuck it! *gobble*

Seven slices: Scrumptious. But there's something missing, methinks...

Six Slices: Pretty nice, for something bought in the school canteen.

Five Slices: Hmm, well...go on then, I am pretty hungry, I suppose....

Four Slices: Oh, erm....you shouldn't have! No, REALLY, you SHOULDN'T HAVE!

Three Slices: Urrrgh, nasty.

Two Slices: Jesus wept, is that MOULD??!???!????!?!?!?

One Slice: Think I'll go stick my head down the toilet to wash the taste away....


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