James: You bastards got a light?
* One of the camera crew hand James a zippo lighter as James pops open the zippo using the flame to ignite his cigar *
James: What the fuck are you assholes doing here anyway?
* I explain to him abut an interview scheduled by HFW for him regarding the latest comments by The Hurricane *
James: Is that all? You're coming in here and interrupting my game because that waste of sperm Hurricane decided to open his mouth again? Fuck!
* James pounds his fist aganist the desk as the gaming console slowly backs away from the open getting tucked inside of a compartment in the desk. James takes a quick drag from his cigar and gets up from behind the desk and begins to pace around the room *
James: You know once you've seen a Hurricane promo you've basically seen everything that the bastard has to offer. I mean if you really look at it in my perspective this match with Hurricane is nothing more than something made by Dex in order to waste my time and to give the viewers a home a good laugh. So let me guess Hurricane. You started your promo by talking about your hideous wife, your useless brats while taking place at your home in Florida, right? After that you probably began the promo with something along the lines of "MJ you talk a lot of shit but im Hurricane and i win!" right? I swear to god is the Hurricane just is severe need of a hearing aid or just plain deaf? The motherfucker cant release a single expression without having to add some point of exclamation at the end thinking we either cant hear or understand him. Dont get me wrong Hurricane i can hear you wide and clear but understanding you? Now thats something that most of us in the HFW will never do
. Because unlike you Hurricane we're living in the now. We are taking the new HFW and creating a whole new era of violence and brutality that we can all be apart of. But where are you? Oh thats right. You arent with the new HFW are you? No Hurricane. Instead of joining in with the rest of us living in reality you'd rather stay back reminiscing about a moment in time that you will NEVER repeat. Now that is something i will never understand no matter how many half assed ways you've tried to explain it. I'm not the problem here kid so before you start trying to blow more nonsense out of your ass about how i dont understand you, save it. The problem isnt with me, Joe Max or anyone else keping you from reaching advancement. The problem lies with no one else but you Hurricane so dont go blaming or pointing your finger at anyone else but yourself when looking in the mirror each morning deciding whether to go on another day or to put a double barrel down your throat and pull the trigger.
* A few of the staff snicker at James' comment *
James: Thats right it is funny! You cant help but laugh when listening to this clueless son of a bitch no matter what he has to say. He said he beat me and i told him to prove it but as it stands...no proof. He said he beat me for the oWo title on his birthday and i told him to cough up the match but yet again, no proof. I mean just how serious am i supposed to take an uneducated, untalented, useless jackass who cant back up his own shit? Hurricane has a lot of things to learn and one of those things is learning his place and learning where to tread and where not to tread. Hurricane fails to realize that the HFW is not his promotion. He fails to realize that he isnt going to be the one writing the check to the winner of the match. He fails to realize that no matter how hard he tries, how many lies he makes up or how many efforts he makes to try and get to me, he isnt going to beat me at Showdown. Am i wasting my time cutting yet another promo in effort to shut him up? Probably. But do i mind exposing Hurricane for the complete and utter twit that he proves himself to be time and time again? Not really.
If this is what it takes to break that fucker down to the point of never having to listen to any of his pathetic banter ever again i'm all for it. If it leads to the possible injury or death of the Hurricane...again...i'm all for it. You see in the HFW people bust their asses just to get a lick on Andru Mace. They stay up nights in training in chances of getting a possible win over Scott Frost. They sweat blood and crawl like dogs in chance of getting a victory over the legacy of Michael James. Me? I'm willing to go above and beyond everything they have just to get the Hurricane to shut his fucking mouth and take his retirement from the HFW like he should have the third or fourth time it got shut down. Hurricane is in no way a challenge to me whether it be in the ring or in the street so dont get ahead of yourself just yet kid. A challenge you might not be. A pain in my ass? You can fucking bet everything you have on that one.
* James walks over to a mini bar placed near the corner of the room and steps behind the counter. James reaches underneath and pulls back up with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a shot glass in the other placing them both on the bar. James pour shimself a drink, downs it and slams the glass down on the bar sending an echoing "BANG" throughout the room *
James: I dont have the ball? Is that right Hurricane?
HFW Crew: I think he meant balls--
* James stops his speech and tells the crew member to come closer as the crew member takes a step towards James *
James: Closer...
* Crew member takes another step closer *
James: Cloooser....
* Inches away from him now *
James: Good.
* Without warning James slams the crew member in the jaw with a hard right punch to the jaw dropping him to the floor *
James: Dont fucking correct me. Now as i was saying Hurricane....you say that i dont have the "ball" to take you man to man? Well i dont know about you kid but i was born with TWO testicles so next time dont be including me when referring to one of your many birth defects because i want no part of them. But as for saying i dont have the guts to fight you i can only reply with one reaction....what the fuck are you talking about?! I have beaten you time and time and time again Hurricane and on Thursday...guess what? I'm gonna beat your ass again! So if i openly accepted this match placed by Dex aganist you dont you think that i'm more than willing to step into the ring come Thursday? What the fuck are you thinking when you blow out this shit? Are you so desperate for material that you would make up anything and everything you can no matter how irrevelant it is to the subject just in order to get some kind of points going into the match? I think so.
Hell why dont you do what Andru Mace does and use material from prior promos? At least that way you wouldnt be making so much of an ass out of yourself. Rather just showing me and the rest of the HFW how fucking unoriginal and untalented you truly are. Anytime we've faced off i have kicked your ass from one end of the arena to the other leaving you with just enough life to make it to the emergency room and then back to your hotel room to cry yourself to sleep. Making up lies may mean something in your imagination kid but here in the real world the only thing that matters is reality. The difference between my reality and yours is a simple question of history. In my reality there are people who can vouch for my records aganist you where your reality is nothing more than some collection of places and situations that have yet to occur in this life or the next. Showdown will be my reality kid. On Thursday you're gonna have to leave all those oWo fantasies behind and deal with the harsh reality standing before you. No Bret Hart, no oWo and no help from Andru Mace.
* James exhales a mess of cigar smoke once again as it comes streaming from his nostrils. James pours himself another shot and downs it before going on *
James: No one else to save me? Do you really want to think that over Hurricane or do i have to spell it out for you? Here it is. H-C-N. Were you not there last week or what? Were you not in attendance when Hell's Corner made a fucking fool out of the L.O.W causing all of you to run in fear like the little bitches that you are? No. You were there Hurricane and whether you want to acknowledge it or not you are scared shitless of not only me but the chance of having Hell's Corner there on Thursday. But you know whats kind of funny? I dont even need Hell's Corner to even my chances of beating you. I could beat you in less time than it took King Kong Bundy to put away Ko Ko Beware but i dont want to do that. Its not my style to put away someone as quickly as that and especially putting away someone who has caused me so many years of annoyance. Sure you'll have Mace there to try and even the odds but if he's stupid enough to put his ass on the line in your favor he'll get whats coming to him as well.
But even with L.O.W keeping a watch on the match i dont sweat a fucking thing. I mean look at the lineup we have in Hell's Corner and then look what we have in L.O.W. I wouldnt need more than one man from Hell's Corner. Why only one? Simple. Because every devoted member of the HCN have something that more than half the members in the L.O.W lack. Talent. I could choose former XL Champion Joe Max. I could choose former XL Champion Double B. I could choose the former Tag Team Champion Hellfire but in the end it dosent matter which one shows because the fact that remains is we have every fucking L.O.W jobber right where we want them. I have you on Thursday in a mtach that you have no chance in hell of winning and that alone makes me a happy person. Only a few things make me happy. Sex, marijuana, a fine cigar and the suffering and agony of other human beings. This time it happens to be the suffering and agony of you Hurricane so either way ill be leaving Showdown with a smile on my face.
* Taking another shot James slams the glass back down and takes his leave from behind the bar and heads back towards the desk and takes a seat. James asks the crew if they are hungry at all telling them he is calling in for food as a few of the staff members give James their orders as James dials out. After making the order the hangs up the phone and leans back in his chair thinking back to Hurricane's last promo *
"What am I saying Michael James gay...Whoa"
James: Did any of you catch his promo before this one?
Staff: The one with the fat chick from the website he was trying to pose as one of your grirlfriends?
James: Yea that one. What i dont get is just a few days ago he accused me of liking fat women and now he's accusing me of being gay. How can i be gay if i like fat women? Does he think that all gay dudes just exclude the fact of their sexuality when given the chance to have sex with fat chicks?
* The staff begins to crack up on the behalf of Hurricane's stupid mistake *
James: I'm telling you guys this kid just dosent think before he spits these things out. Whether or not he wants to go into this match with his head up his ass or in the air i'm going to be walking out with my first HFW victory in almost 2 years and he's going back home to lick his wounds. The thing you dont seem to understand Hurricane is the fact that i have no need to sneak in some cheap shot when you're not looking like you seem to think. Hell this entire week i've been doing nothing but spitting on your character and crapping on everything you have relied on for ambition up to this point in your pathetic career. I pissed on your oWo title, i wiped my ass with your personal belongings and left a pile of burning shit at the grave of a man you look up to as God. What else would you call that? Ive done nothing behind your back. I've been in your face this entre time while you've been too stupid to realize something.
To realize that you cant fucking win. No matter how hard you try you cant beat me and after Thursday comes and you're left on your back wondering if you'll ever walk again i want you to think about me. I want you to think about all the premature shit you've pulled that has brought us to the point where we are now. With me its just gonna be what i was doing this week to pass my time. For you? It's gonna be a lot more than accepting a loss and moving on. Its gonna be swallowing your pride, burying the oWo title under six feet of shit and accepting the truth. You're really going to sit there with a serious face while referring to yourself as a normal person? You have got to be fucking joking Hurricane. You are a lot of things but normal isnt one of them. You see normal people move on after something is clearly at its end, normal people learn to accept fact over imagination. You're a fucking freak Hurricane and you need help.
* He says while taking in another drag from the cigar gripped between his index and middle finger *
James: I have blown nothing kid. I said you would lose at Curse to John Mobes and you fucking lost. I told you that i was coming for you and the rest of L.O.W and what happened? We ran you fucking pussies off without trying and you have the stupidity to stand here today and say half the shit that you do? When i make a prediction nine times out of ten i'm right and i can successfully say that i can predict with everything i have that you are going to lose to me on Thurday. I have never liked you Norman. Since you first came in here flashing your pathetic mock gimmicks of the WWE to the day you started taking claim of a victory over me. I dont like you. Death Roades never liked you. Hell Hurricane i'm betting that even your own fuckings kids dont like you. But who can blame them? Your wife? Or is that the family dog because the resemblance is just downright scary.
* James snuffs the cigar out in an ashtray located a few inches laid across from him on the desk *
James: You're wrong about something else too asshole. I wont remember this match for the rest of my "natural life". Why? Because i'm a fucking pothead and i dont remember anything let alone kicking your ass for the third or fourth time. But after reading a few of your promos and then reading mine the viewer really has to ask themselves one thing. Is Michael James really the one on drugs? Because after seeing one fourth of the shit you say Hurricane they really have to wonder if its drugs or just advanced stupidity. Who cares about the NWF? Who cares about the oWo? This isnt the NWF or oWo Hurricane this is the HFW and this is my fucking hood bitch. I dont what you have planned, i dont care what Andru Mace has up his ass and i dont care what Dex has planned for this match because i have one agenda. Beat the fucking life out of Hurricane and collect the months pay. You and all the other L.O.W assholes can create as many distractions as you want but just remember one thing. I'm better than you. I'm better than them. More importantly....i've got more men.
* James looks straigt into the camera with a confident smirk *
James: See you in hell motherfucker.
* James turns in his chair facing away from the view and the scene fades to static *