Man: Greetings Mr. James. My name is Stan Kaspar and I represent Pro Wrestling Illustrated...
James: Oh so you're the jackass that woke me up at 5:00 this morning?
Man: Well there is a slight time difference--
James: Shut up. So whats the deal with this bullshit i'm getting paid five grand for?
Man: Well its your first shoot interview for our magazine and hopefully will get a lot of the rumors that are speculating around to come to a stop.
James: Rumors? Like what?
Man: Well your return to the HFW isnt really what you would call straight down the middle.
James: I took some time off. Sue me.
Man: Thats not how the fans look at it so thats the purpose of this is to--
James: For as long as i've been in this business you wanna explain to me what a shoot interview is? I'm insulted!
Man: No sir...its just--
James: Sir...alright i'll spare you for now. I do have a lot of shit I need to get off my chest anyway so set up your little crew and tell me when you're ready.
* The crew sets up their equipment and lock the doors of the lecture hall so they arent interrupted as James takes a seat and places a cigar in his mouth and lights it, exhaling a cloud of smoke from his lungs as Kaspar tells James that they are ready as James gets up from his seat and takes a seat in a different chair facing the cameras. James takes a few puffs from his cigar as the cameras begin to roll *
Kaspar: Alright PWI fans all over the world, today i'm bringing you a special shoot interview with former two time HFW World and Slaughterhouse Champion Michael James who recently made his way back into the promotion after a leave as what seemed to be his retirement from the HFW. So now you're back in the and you have already made it clear to guys like Andru Mace, Scott Frost, Johnny Vain and Hurricane that you're back and with reason. What brought on such a rage that caused you to just raise hell instead of making a proper return?
James: A rage? You call what i've done thus far a rage? No Stan that wasnt some kind of rage or whatever you wanna call it because to me that was just Michael James being Michael James and every single one of those assholes are gonna have to learn to live with it. Andru Mace came out and spit out his usual dose of repeative bullshit thinking its going to make any difference in my return to the HFW but once again his continous efforts have done nothing more than shown us how much of an idiot he really is. Every single time his dumb ass claims that he retired me and every single time i prove him wrong so you have to really ask yourself this about Andru. How desperate can a man as pathetic as Mace really go? More importantly who really cares? Any fucking retard and use the same useless material over and over again but when the day is over the fact is repeating yourself dosent win you matches. Using lines and quotes from previous promos to try and bullshit your way to the top dosent win you matches.
Kaspar: Previous lines and quotes?
James: Look at at this way. If you lay out a series of Andru Mace promos and compare them all line by line you can spot the same fucking shit taken from one and put into another. Andru digs up piles of his previous bullshit that probably never got him anywhere but defeated and tries to make them fresh by mixing them in with his newer promos and where people like Jason Dex, Johnny Vain and the rest of L.O.W might be unable to see through Mace's bullshit, i dont. Here's an example Kaspar. A line from one of Mace's newer promos....
* James pulls out a piece of paper with a printed dialogue of Andru's recent promo *
"David, there is no fate. There's nothing to save you. If you lose it's because you didn't do anything to prevent it from happening"
James: Now lets look at his promo entitled "Back To The Future 2"....
"There is no fate. There's nothing to save you. If you lose it's because you didn't do anything to prevent it from happening."
James: See what i'm talking about?
Kaspar: As sad as it is to say about Andru Mace it does seem like a pretty shitty way to go about winning matches.
James: Once again from the same promo from a few hours ago...
"What kind of chance would you have now that you haven't responded? No chance."
James: Now again from the Back To The Future 2...
"What kind of chance would you have had if you hadn't responded? Very slim."
* James wads up the promo into a paper ball and tosses it aside *
James: So it would seem that the big bad "i'm the best no matter what" Andru Mace seems to be so desperate to get through David Griffin that he would pull old material trying to pose it as new. What a waste Andru. But then again that alone shows not only myself but everyone in the HFW that your steam is running out very quickly. What are you gonna do come Halloween Curse? Force Jason Dex to show a replay of match of yours from the 2002 Rage Tournament because you forgot how to wrestle? I wouldnt be surprised in the slightest bit. But thats just who Andru Mace is Stan. He's a washed up, repeative, material lacking, posing piece of trash trying to bring his reputation back to what it once was but unfortunately this is the new HFW and this time around its not about how Jason Dex would like to see as champion. This HFW belongs to the ones who made the H what it is today and that does not include anyone from the half assed DSW or L.O.W.
Kaspar: Then who are you referring to if not guys like Mace, Frost, Twisted Jack and the others? From my knowledge they have been the ONLY ones keeping HFW alive up to this point.
James: What the fuck are you talking about? When Dex was behind the wheel the only thing that happened was him making some bullshit effort to try and revive DSW by pushing all his guys up to the top of the HFW while guys like myself, Joe Max, Death Roades, Double B, Enouch Cain and the rest saw just what he was doing to the HFW and took our leave to other places. Shortly after we left who remained? Andru Mace, Scott Frost, Twisted Jack and all the other DSW clowns that no one wanted to associate with leaving Dex with nothing more but a roster of five guys and nowhere to go. You call that keeping the HFW alive? Shortly after Dex got control what happened? The HFW was forced to close because of his fucked up business ethics and thats sure as hell not a way to keep the promotion alive. In 2000-2002 the HFW was a great place to be because people enjoyed being there. People enjoyed how the HFW was the only real place that made a difference when it came to hardcore wrestling and enjoyed every card and event posted.
But what happened when Dex was put in charge? HFW because a fucking annoyance to everyone. Whats the point of being in a promotion where no one wins except the ones loyal to the dead and buried DSW? Facts are facts and the fact is when Dex had complete control people were leaving left and right. Andru Mace can sugar coat the reality of it by saying he "retired" all these guys but the fact is no one gets retired until going through a santioned RETIREMENT match which Mace never had with any of us. Count to think of it i believe i'm the ONLYone to truly retire anyone from the HFW and that was Adam Kyle back in 2001 when he went up aganist Triple H. Andru Mace is a fucking t shirt. He's a mouth that constantly runs with no reference of the truth. All in all i'm starting to wonder if Mace really is full on retarded because with what ive seen from him lately there is no other explanation. Andru Mace didnt retire shit other than his own dignity.
Kaspar: You cant argue with facts and you pretty much laid it out better than anyone up to this point.
James: I know i did and thats because thats what i'm known for and who i am. I talk a lot of shit, kick a lot of ass and speak the truth that all the other douchebags refuse to live with. Like Andru. Andru is like a little kid who needs a constant amount of attention otherwise he will either drop the the floor, go into spread eagle banging his fists and crying or just go into a deep depression. Personally i'd love to wake up, turn on the tv and hear about Andru Mace blowing his brains out but i dont think i could ever be that lucky so the most i can do now is deal with him until the time is set. See the one problem Mace has is always getting ahead of himself and thinking with his ego instead of the small amount of brains he was born with. Mace is going on and on about how unbeatable he is, how he's the very "best" and how nothing can stand in his or L.O.W's way but the one rule he needs to remember is no matter how bad or tough you think you are there will always be someone out there a million times more brutal than he would ever live to be. Soon enough Mace all of that ego and childish shit you've been spitting is gonna be the thing to cause your ultimate defeat. All the nights you spent playing donkey punch with Dex, all the material you've switched around in order to boost your promos and all of the angles you fucked in order top get ahead. Its all over now Mace. L.O.W is over so you do what you have to in order to deal with it. Denial, hissy fits, temper tantrums. I dont care what you do Mace just as long as you show up at Halloween Curse. Thats all i need. For Andru Mace to show up.
Kaspar: Then what?
James: Huh?
* James pulls back his arm and then comes at Kaspar once again thumping him across the bridge of his nose *
Kaspar: Owww! What the fuck?!
James: You think i'm gonna tell you Stan?
Kaspar: Obviously not. Asshole.
James: Are you under no assumption that what i have planned is meant as a surprise?
Kasper: Well--
* James pulls back his arm and then comes at Kaspar once again thumping him across the bridge of his nose *
Kasper: DAMNIT! Stop it! What was that for anyway?!
James: Meh i was bored.
Kaspar: To answer your question yes i do know what a surprise is.
James: So why did you ask such a stupid fucking question?
Kaspar: I was--
James: Shut up.
* James holds up his arm with his fingers ready to thump Stan again as Stan quickly falls out of his chair in order to avoid James *
James: Much better Stanley.
Kaspar: Yea whatever just dont thump me again. Anyway to continue this thing so i can get out of here without going to the emergency room. Close to 24 hours ago we heard from L.O.W member Johnny Vain talking about John Mobes, Mr. Showtime and your return to the HFW. Now i'm aware that you have yet to have any confrontations with Vain until now so whats your next plan of attack regarding Vain's comments?
James: Johnny Vain...
* James lets out a slight chuckle *
James: I almost feel sorry for this guy you know? Granted i dont know a damn thing about the guy just as he knows jack shit about me but the one mistake he made in his last promo was not only not showing me respect i deserve but also underestimating me. I'm sure all you know is what your great jackass of a hero Andru Mace has told you so im here now to let you know the truth. Mace didnt retire me or anyone else in the HFW. Before the DSW arrived on the scene i WAS HFW. From 2000-2003 i was the fucking reason that HFW had the height of intensity that it did. Because of me the HFW went from a low card shithole to a thriving promotion that you now know as HFW. Fuck Mace's accomplishments because without me you motherfuckers wouldnt have an HFW. You, Mace and the rest of L.O.W owe me respect for giving you a place to go to and for Mace the only place that would have him. Win a match or two? To say the least kid. I didnt just win matches i made fucking matches.
Anytime you see anything to do with barbed wire, blood or mayhem the chances are i had a say in the match design. Maximum Brutality? I made the motherfucker. Scaffold Deathmatch? My shit as well. Suffer consequences when referring to a drag along asshole like yourself? What the fuck are you gonna do Vain? Run your mouth, get your teeth knocked out and then go running to Mace to make it better? Thats what i think. To me Vain you're nothing. Just a fucking half assed obstacle standing in the way just like that pussy Hurricane and you really think its a coincidense that both of you morons are in the same stable? Ive said it before. You cant kill stupid cause stupid cant die but you can sure as hell beat it into submission and thats exactly the case with you Vain. Do yourself a favor and focus on Mobes because fucking with me is nothing more than a death wise on your behalf. You dont wanna die this early do you?
Kaspar: Now that you mention it James it is kind of strang how every man you've gone after thus far have been members of L.O.W. Did you ever think about the odds that are stacked aganist your favor upon returning?
James: You fucking serious? Of course i put it into thought but it still wasnt enough to keep me from coming back here and seeing the face of each and every one of those pricks when all the shit they've been working for goes straight to shit just as ive been saying. Taking another consideration into the different types of men that associate with L.O.W was the next thing i did. I mean you have your main eventers like Andru Mace, Scott Frost and Twisted Jack but on the other hand you also have a bunch of no talent marks like Hurricane, Johnny Vain, Roderick and Drake Walkins. The way i see L.O.W is the same way i saw the N.W.O about a year before it died. Their entire lineup had its ups like Nash, Hall, Steiner and Jarrett but the ups were in no way comparison to the amount of downs that lead to their ultimate downfall with guys like Disco Inferno, The Disciple, Bryan Adams, Sean Waltman and Dennis Rodman for the love of christ.
The point is in order to be a million strong you have to have the best fucking lineup to work as an unmoveable force and thats where L.O.W goes all to shit. They have possibly three decent wrestlers while the rest of the stable consists of a bunch of douchebags and fucking marks and in order to gain the power that L.O.W claims to have they're gonna need to make a LOT of changes. But you know what? It dosent even matter because after Halloween Curse Andru Mace and the rest of the assholes in L.O.W are gonna have a lot more to worry about than their own ego. The odds arent stacked aganist me Stan in fact thats just the opposite. Ever since i've returned i've gotten more of Mace's attention than his own fucking opponent for Curse and thats gonna become a serious problem for Mace. Keep talking shit Mace. Stay distracted. I like you so much better when you're paranoid.
Kaspar: It seems you have some kind of vendetta aganist Mace...
* James takes a drag from his cigar and instead of releasing the smoke the holds it in while raising up his shades so they rest on his brow before taking time to respond *
James: Vendetta. I've always liked that word. But using it as how i feel about Andru Mace? Not its not a vendetta. Between Mace and i what it really comes down to is ego. He's beaten me twice and he holds those two victories at the very top of his accomplishments for god knows why. This guy who calls me shit, who says i suck and dosent want me around holds a victory over me like some kind of winning lottery ticket and why is that? Because through it all that dumb son of a bitch respects me. He knows that behind all his talk he fears Michael James just as much as he wishes i feared him. I dont fear Mace. I fear being stuck in tight fucking spaces but not Andru Mace. That would be like being scared of your mother or your nagging wife but the truth is just in order to shut them up all it takes to silence Mace is a good bitch slap across the face. With Mace the only thing i care about is seeing the son of a bitch bleed and suffer, match be damned.
Mace is good but he isnt Joe Max good so i really dont see wheres he's getting half of the bullshit he's blowing out of his ass. Mace lies to himself about retiring people in order to go on with his life and if thats what he needs to do so be it. But Mace one thing im wondering is why always claim retirement over those who arent around to argue your claim? Because you never really retired anyone? Its ok...let it out. We all know you're full of shit so its time you faced it too kid. Hell Mace i could say right now that i retired Enouch Cain, Skully, Assassain, Roades and the rest because they wouldnt be here to argue it but you see thats the difference between me and you. I'm not full of shit. When i say i retired someone you know its the fucking truth and not an imaginary ego boost. When you say it we all know since its coming from you chances are its either a lie or an effort to get everyone to believe the same bullshit you've been spitting out since 2003.
* Leaning back a few inches James quickly snaps his head to the neck snapping out a crick in his neck and continues *
James: Mace claims to never been humilated but i bet you i could think of a few moments. Hell just about tenminutes ago when i pointed out his obvious lack of material. How about losing to Joe Max showing Mace that is is in fact very unstoppable? How about the fact that every time Andru sees another Michael James promo posted he's already on the way to the toilet to wipe his ass out of fear? Yea. Andru aint shit. Motherfucker really dosent need anyone trying to humilate him because it seems that he does a well enough job of that on his own but you really think thats gonna stop me from humilating him? Not even close. Andru any fucking retard to say the things you say over and over and over again so either find a new routine or a new writer because i hate to tell you this asshole but your shit stinks. You have to use your tired old quotes instead of being the Andru Mace you claim to be. Face it fuckhead your time in HFW has run out. Never done anything stupid? Mace who the fuck are you trying to kid? You want something stupid you did? Here ya go...
"Maybe if I was Vampira after that prank pulled by Hurricane. He isn't the Feared Storm for nothing."
James: Giving credit to a dipshit like Hurricane. I'd call that pretty damn stupid Mace. You go by the idea that nothing changes just because you say so but i hate to break this to ya Mace but things do change. People change and the situation changes just as it has right before your fucking eyes. Wake up asshole. Smell your bullshit washing away. The HFW has never survived on account of you Mace. You wanna claim to be "the man" in HFW? You're gonna need to put in a hell out of a lot more work before you can claim that. You havent earned it Mace so just go ahead and shove all those hopes and dreams of respect right back up your ass. If it wasnt for me, Jose and Tomik the HFW WOULD NOT EXSIST. Your career WOULD NOT EXSIST. You'd be nothing more but a DSW jerk off with nowhere to fucking go. In order to be the future Mace you got to have the ability to move on and thats something you lack. When the HFW died instead of building your career you did nothing but sit on your ass bragging about the "ol" days when you USED to mean something. Save it for the rookies Mace because i'm not the only one who thinks you're a mindless jackass and i dont buy your bullshit. Fuck Andru Mace. Fuck L.O.W.
* James gets up from his seat leaving Stan with a look of confusion on his face as James makes his exit from the lecture hall and the scene fades to static *