James: Lemme guess? HFW right?
* A staff member nodds at James *
James: Again? Jesus christ. I swear this has to be the fifth time this week that i've had to take time aside from my busy schedule to give you bastards a piece of Michael James. It wasnt so bad at first. At first i liked the idea of getting paid just to take a few hours from the week to talk down and degrade a majority of the HFW roster but to be honest with you its just gotten to be a pain in the ass. I mean what does Dex and the fucking HFW fans really expect out of me? Outside of the HFW i have a fucking film company, a wife, contact meetings, bills to pay, debts to collect and the opening of a brand new wrestling promotion to worry about so i'm sorry if i cant be an ass kissing maggot like Andru Mace and devote all of my time to the HFW.
* James walks towards the front of the room and approaches his television set and pops a video cassette into the vcr. He picks up the remote from the top of the television and walks back to where he was originally standing and waits for the tape to begin playing. Once it does the content reveals to be a compilation of different wrestling matches put together on one tape as the first match text flashes across the screen reading "1983- NWA- NWA Television Title- Brusier Brody vs Rick Rude" *
James: Now you see this Hurricane? These are two guys i really wouldnt expect you to know anything about seeing how neither of them were in the oWo or the Nation Of Domination but just for education sake i'd like to give you a little lecture about the sport of professional wrestling.
* A staff member corrects James saying that wrestling isnt a sport but rather sports "entertainment" *
James: Sports what?
* The staff member repeats himself as James approaches him while taking a cigar from its stuck position in an ashtray *
James: Didnt hear you.
* The staff member opens his mouth and just as he does we see James grab ahold of the man's tounge yanking it out like a piece of rubber. With a grip on the man's tounge James continues *
James: Whats that? I cant understand a fucking word you're saying....
* As the man attempts to speak James quickly estinguishes his cigar out on the man's tounge and lets him go as the man drops to the floor screaming out in pain while gripping his tounge and kicking his feet from the pain on his tounge being scorched from the cigar *
James: Like i was saying....the SPORT of professional wrestling.
* James walks back across the room taking a seat in an easy chair not very far from the custom mini bar *
James: Now Hurricane as you can see here on this tape not every wrestling promotion had the billion dollar budget that your beloved WWE as hard as it is for you to believe. Here we have one man who was coincidently the same man who brought yours truly into the game known as Brusier Brody and on the other hand we have a man who was not only a rock inside the ring but also a multi-time NWA champion of damn near every title offered. You notice how neither one of these guys had any type of fancy pyro upon their arrivals? You notice how between the two of them the only thing that made any difference in the world was the moment the bell had rung? According to you to be a success in this sport it relies on nothing more but billion dollar budgets, the ability to act and being able to let some fuckhead promoter tell you what to do. Well Hurricane i hate to break it to you but if either one of these guys were here right now theyd be the first to tell you just how full of shit you are.
See how Brody is dragging Rude's ass through the crowd by the scruff of his hair with no regard for the fans safety whatsoever? A stunt like that wouldnt last two seconds in the fucking WWE on account of the chance of McMahon getting sued over some fucking kid getting whacked upside the head because he wouldnt get the fuck out of the way. No. They wont allow that but they will sure as hell allow the same kid to see Edge and Lita mock fucking in the middle of the damn ring. They wont allow people to say fuck, talk about other promotions or use real barbed wire but they have no problem having McMahon using a mouthful of holy water to push some match aganist Shawn Michaels. You call that wrestling? You're gonna sit there and try to convince a man of my professionalism that the WWE is the "future" of this sport? If thats the case Hurricane i suggest you let me know so i'll be sure to bring a bullet for you on Thursday.
* James fast forwards the tape for a few seconds and stops on a clip of Brody and Rude exchanging chops *
James: I dont think there has been a week in my life since coming to the states when i havent heard some stupid american make the statement of wrestling being fake. One rule i have always lived by is not to mock something until trying it and anyone who has stepped into a ring with me knows damn well that nothing i do in that ring would be considered fake. Just like these two. This match took place in 1983 in Puerto fucking Rico in some shithole sweatbox not capable of holding anything more than 3,000 people max so i dont think the NWA or the creators of this tape had anything to do with the fucking red marks appearing after taking those repeated chops. If anyone would know how a chop from Brusier Brody feels like it would be me and let me tell you no one can land a chop like that man. The one thing i loved about his matches were the way he could turn a simple wrestling match into a scene of complete chaos without even planning it.
Thats what the WWE has always lacked. The matches from the old NWA and Japan had more feeling, more compassion and more to offer than the matches you see in the WWE. The NWA did nothing more but give each man the nights pay and tell them to put on a hell of a show and thats exactly what they did unlike the WWE where millions of dollars are wasted just to show us something we've seen over and over again. Thats what i like about the HFW. There is no structure to whats going to happen. You never know just what you're gonna see and you never will until the moment is fucking perfect. Well i dont know about you Hurricane but i'm happy as hell to be facing you on Thursday especially in the HFW because just like Brody before me you never know what the fuck im gonna do. You never know just what i might decide to do at the last moment. Not being a predictable man is a pain in the ass isnt it Hurricane? Sucks to be you.
* James unpauses the tape to show Brody and Rude still battling in the crowd as Brody is seen tossing a fan out of his own chair and using it across the back of Rude while the surrounding fans scatter from the two in some kind of panic or sense of fear *
James: Look at that. They're running away from Brody like he's some kind of fucking monster or something. I'm telling you Hurricane you cant even start to compare McMahon''s bullshit shows to these old NWA matches because there is no fucking comparison. You pay $40 to go to a WWE show and what do you get? Nothing more but an inside look at how a billion dollar wrestling company puts on its events. But when being a part of a show for the NWA you really were a PART of the match. When you had a front row seat and had two guys like Terry Funk and Dick Murdoch coming at you head on you didnt have any choice but to move. I mean how much more intense could it be for a wrestling fan than to be that fucking close to the action they paid good money to see? Like i said before Hurricane, no comparison. But you go ahead and preach all you want about the WWE, about Bret Hart and about the glory days in the oWo because its not winning you any extra points going into Showdown.
I mean shit even Scythe cant help but admit how much of a fucking mark you're proving to be by clinging on to a bunch of shit that makes no difference to anyone. I mean if that dosent say shut the fuck up i dont know what does. To tell you the truth kid i cant really think of any reason for you to stick around after i beat your ass on Thursday because in all truth what do you really have left? They ditched the L.O.W titles, they ditched the oWo title back in what like 2003? Soon enough the L.O.W is gonna ditch you so why stick around and watch my predictions become a haunting reality? What do you have left? A possible win over me? Ha! You can forget about that because it aint gonna happen. Do the right thing Hurricane. Do the right thing and go home, find a gun and shoot yourself in the fucking head. What are you gonna tell your horsefaced wife and test tube projects after you lose on Thursday?
* James starts to imitate Hurricane *
James: "Um sorry kids daddy didnt win tonight so its back to the welfare office we go!"
* James goes back to normal *
James: What will you really be able to say to them Hurricane? You gonna lie to your kids about getting a win over me just like you continously claim to do in spite of your lack of proof? To tell you the truth i wouldnt be surprised. I mean they are your kids so i'm sure that being stupid and gullable is just a basic part of life in their eyes. Their daddy the loser who has to make up matches in order to sleep at night and dream about repeative games of hide the finger with Bret Hart. Damn it would suck being your kid Hurricane. But even in your case i can feel pity after seeing that fucking thing you not only mistaked for a woman but even married in an act of either desperation or blindness. But being desperate and pathetic is no new thing to you is it Hurricane?
You've seemed to master the art of desperation but still you seem to think of yourself as this holier than tho messiah sent to live on the name of the Hart Family despite being in a place that holds no signifigance for anything to do with Bret Hart, Stu Hart or any fucking Hart you want to pull out of your ass. Being able to jam all of your rantings, all of your lies and all of your imaginary bullshit right down your throat is gonna be just what i needed Hurricane. All of this hate, rage and aggression that ive been holding back for months and i get to release every bit of it on you in less than three days time. Do you know how that feels kid? Do you know what its like to be on the verge of a homicidal outbreak just to be banned from freedom of expression? Well i do and its not a fucking vacation so when Dex gave me the chance to go head to head with you i had no other choice but to sign the dotted line and ensure the future humilation, annihilation and destruction of the Feared Storm.
* James goes back to the tape showing Brody and Rude fighting in the street with a crowd of fans following behind chanting something in a foreign language. One of the staff members asks James if he caught the recent words by Mr Showtime regarding him as James rolls back his eyes in annoyance *
James: You mean the fucker whose trying to use a cable channel as some kind of half assed gimmick? Whats next? Is he gonna bring in a guy named HBO, another named Starz and start up some kind of fucking network satellite stable to compete with the HCN?
* A few laughs are heard from the staff *
James: No lets not get carried away here. Showtime im going to be completely honest with you regarding your recent acts of what could be considered either bravery or straight stupidity. I can see that you're on eof the new blood here in the HFW an dlooking to get your name out there and as much as i can admire that there is stillsomething that fails to impress me about you. I mean back in 2000 i was the new face in the HFW much like you are now except for one big difference asshole. I had more fucking talent than the entire roster where all you have is your word and so far that hasnt meant shit to anyone. When i got back here i wasnt hearing anyone in the back talking about Mr Showtime being the next big thing in HFW as much as you would like to believe. You know what they were saying? They were saying the next big thing is none other than yours truly.
Even Andru Mace, the biggest fucking dickhead i have ever had the displeasure of working with will tell you that out of every name in the HFW the only one that means a fucking thing is Michael James. Not Mr Showtime. Me. I'm a very honest man Showtime so when i say you're a nobody it fucking means exactly what it sounds like. I think you're lower than shit. I think you dont belong in the HFW let alone throwing out shit to a former 2 time HFW World Champion who could make your time in HFW a LOT more complicated than you ever expected. This is what i hate about you new motherfuckers. You think that running your mouth to the big dogs is gonna turn out as some kind of reward in the end and after its all said and done the result is always the same. Taking shots at guys like Johnny Vain, Hurricane and Twisted Jack is one thing but now you've gone and pissed off not only me but the rest of Hell's Corner starting with Joe Max.
* James snaps his neck from side to side as it cracks each time *
James: Let me tell you something about Joe Max. The dude is fucking crazy and thats not such a good thing coming from me so it cant mean anything pleasant for you. You really need to find a mirror and take a long look and ask yourself just what the fuck you were thinking but calling out the HCN. Do you know what we would fucking do to you? I mean christ Showtime even Andru Mace and Scott Frost are still sitting at home cleaning the shit from their pants from the mere experience they had with us at Halloween Curse. To make men like Mace and Frost run in fear like we did at Curse is not a simple task by any means. What the fuck are you gonna do if you got confronted by any one of us? Run your mouth? Seems that has been the only thing you really can do.
You really want to prove yourself to me i'll set it up for damn sure and you can bet your ass that the morning after you lose to me your life will never be the same again. Look at Mace. I made him what he is today and he respects the hell out of me for it when he could just as well shit on all the other marks like yourself simply because he can. You dont know me Showtime so you dont really know what to expect so until you get a chance to really see what im all about i suggest you stick to climbing the ladder. I was here before L.O.W, i was here before Dex, i was here before the XL Title was born and i'm not going anywhere you son of a bitch. Get used to hearing my voice because the fact is i AM the voice of this promotion so you can either get used to it or get the fuck out of my sport. I'm not impressed by you, i'm not intimidated by your stupidity and when given the chance i'm going to rip your damn head off.
* James continues watching the tape as it shows Rick Rude choking the life out of Brody with a few camera cables *
James: You're not Rob Van Dam so cut the shit. You really want to use that tagline and continue to try and prove yourself to me or anyone else? Hell Showtime you might as well be on the same level as that little shit Hurricane seeing how both of you shitheads have nothing better to do than clog the HFW with your WWE infringements. What the fuck are you doing here if you wanted to be Rob Van Dam? The real RVD died years ago and yet you still rip him? Do you have no fucking decency or what? I bet i can catch you at home every tuesday slumped down in front of your 10 inch black and white television with your eyes locked on to the new version of what was once known as ECW. Am i right? You fucking mark bastard. Stay out of your way and you'll stay out of mine?
Thats gonna be kinda hard seeing how when it comes to HFW there isnt an inch of space that dosent belong to Michael James. Tell you what asshole how about you stay out of my way and you i'll let you live? How about that? Heres a quick fact for you Showtime. Being young dosent always mean you're charismatic by any means. It only means that you're here to get paid just like the rest of us so dont try to sugar coat your bullshit to me or anyone else from now on. If you step in the ring with me the only thing thats gonna be over is your fucking career you got that? You have nothing on me, nothing on Hell's Corner and nothing but time to waste so dont put an end to it all when you are only getting started. I hope Vain and Jack beat the living fuck out of you and Mobes. Not because i respect them in any way but just because it would be funny to see you lose.
* James fast forwards the tape to a clip of Brody kicking Rude in the face over and over again while the bell rings for a dq *
James: You arent shit Showtime. Just like the Hurricane you're just another piece of shit waiting to be taken out and as time goes on i'm sure i'll have to eventually deal with you. Lets just hope for your sake that isnt anytime soon. Next time i hear from you Showtime you better have a new tagline and a damn good apology for the disrespect you have shown for not just me but everyone in Hell's Corner. Should you not oblige then you will leave us no choice but to force it out of you and as funny as that would be lets hope you do the smart thing before it gets too messy.
* James stops the tape and orders the crew to leave his house and the scene fades to black *