chat_up_lines

I didnt write this.. and if ur looking for a gf/bf my advice
is not to use the chat up lines....

20! pick up lines for guys
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I sw you checking out my package.
4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the mone?
6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm theonly one talking to you.
7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have yu seen one?
8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could rie you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway o heaven?
14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is oly a light switch away.
15. Are those real?
16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and evn farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself. ~hehe I like that one!!
20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

20 worst pick up lines
1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
3. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.
4. Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
6. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your BedRock.
7. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.
9. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you I'd be coming too.
10. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King; you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away.
11. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
12. I enjoy doing maintenance; you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with.
13. You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you're the Bomb.
14.If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
15. Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
16. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
17. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
18. Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.
19. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
20. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

Random pick up linezzzz!
That shirt looks very becoming on you....of course if I were on you I'd be coming too.
If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me...Please??!!
Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.
That dress looks nice....Of course, it'd look even better crumpled up in the corner of my room.
Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep seeing myself in your pants.
Hey baby, wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!?
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time?
My face is leaving in 10 minutes... are you gonna be on it or not?
Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
I'm new in town, could I get directions to your place?
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
That's a nice shirt...could I talk you out of it?
(Female at the copy machine) Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
The more I drink, the prettier you get!
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
Hey, here's the word for the day: legs. Whatdya say we go upstairs and spread the word?!
Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
Make a calling card that says.....Smile if you want to sleep with me! Then watch your victim try to hold back her smile.
Hi, my name's (_____), how do you like me so far?
Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between the two of us.
She: (to passing man) Do you have the time? Him: Do you have the energy?
You know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears someone has already beat me to it.

Cheesy Pick Up Lines
Are my undies showing? ["No."] "Would you like them to?"
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
At the Laundromat, "How much bleach should I put in with my good suit?"
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? {Wait for answer} "Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?"
Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?
Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Do you have any Irish in you? (if no�) Would you like some? (if yes�) Want some more?
Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
Does your boyfriend know where you are?
Excuse me, do you believe in one night stands?
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
Gee, for a fat girl you sure don�t sweat much.
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
Have you heard the latest piece of medical knowledge saying that Sex is a real killer? Do you want to die happy?
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? (after she slaps you or leaves) HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
Hi there! Do you want to see something really swell?
Hi!
Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
Hi, how are you?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
Hi, my name's Dan. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!
Hi. You'll do.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

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