we didnt take a lot of pictures of the beard parade, mainly because we were too OVERWHELMED BY ALL THE GLORIOUS BEARDS

ooo pirate!

NEXT: STAGE SHOTS
wow there were like 7000 amateur filmmakers there. so many emo kids wielding video cameras their parents bought them! there were the best shots i could get of the stage:

yes the emcee has a magnificent beard also. that portly lady on stage gave all the contestant kisses, she was straight out of a john waters movie.

look at that man's sideburns!!!!!!!!!!

that guy's moustache was wicked awesome, the left side was curled and the right side was straight out, as if he had a checkmark on his face, as if to mark him YES, YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MOUSTACHE.

pink suit = P.I.M.P.

IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST THAT HOT MAKEOUT SESSION?! WHERE CAN I GET A PIECE OF THAT?

ALL I WANT IS MORE BEARD