I'm from Miami, but I moved to New York,
And I have to say what a change!
I'm surprised they can use a fork,
Those people are so dumb, and so strange!

The Summers were hot and sticky,
The Winters were cold and dry.
Fall and Spring were tricky,
With wind that could make you cry!

My mom couldn't take the snow anymore,
So she packed up, and moved back down south.
Now, it's even worse than before,
Because my grandma has such a big mouth!

She'll talk all day and repeat herself,
About 64 times an hour.
She's old, and hunchbacked, like a little maid-elf,
And dear Jesus is her breath sour!

I don't know which was harder to stand...
The bad breath or the bad weather.
But I guess I'll stay here as long as I can,
Since I won't have my grandma forever.

This place is so boring and complicated,
And my supervisor is super hated.

No gum, no food, no drinks, and no talking.
No sitting, lounging, or walking around.
If it is dead, they'll have us start mopping,
Or maybe clean the employee's lounge.

This is the longest hour of my life!
By the time I'm on break, I'll have a wife!

Our shoes can only be black, red, or brown.
But some people wear sneakers all the time!
Time is so slow, I'm about to fall down!
Peaches... oranges... a lemon --and lime.

I get so hungry seeing food all day long,
By break time I want a meal sized for King Kong!

Sometimes bagging feels like it's a crime.
"Do you have a special bagging request?"
"I can't take tips ma'am, not even a dime!"
Why can't it be plastic? Paper's a test!

Getting carts makes me hot and sweaty,
When quitting time comes, I'm so ready!

There's a woman; insane...
Coming through my line.
Handfuls of coupons taking up my time.
If you miss one, then she complains.
Watch out cashier for that woman insane.

Go to the bathroom
or you can get a drink,
You might avoid her,
If you're gone in a wink.
That is the smart thing to do, avoid her.
She is insane and a patience tester.

'Cause there's victory in the avoider.
Victory if you avoid.
Turn your light off, and walk away,
And don't go speaking to that woman insane.

She will throw toilet paper: she is insane.
Making you wonder if she needs medication.
She's just a'screamin' as she walks around,
But everyone knows to avoid the woman insane.

But you know there's victory in the avoider.
Victory if you avoid.
Turn your light off, and walk away,
And don't go speaking to that woman insane.

I plagiarized my paper for english once,
Straz caught me, I paid the price for months.
He lost all respect for me, I lost all his trust.
What was I thinking?

Oh I knew that he would check my paper,
And after, I'd have to do it later!

Cuz� I was busy talking to my friends online
staring at that bright, old computer screen,
Thinking about old times, laughing out loud,
Procrastinating, avoiding this damn thing,
Well I tried to plagiarize and pass; What was I thinking?

I went out one night and met my friends at the Moon.
I should've stayed home, the deadline came soon.
I waited till the last minute, I was screwed.
What was I thinking?

Oh I knew that he would check my paper,
And after, I'd have to do it later!

Cuz� I was busy talking to my friends online
staring at that bright, old computer screen,
Thinking about old times, laughing out loud,
Procrastinating, avoiding this thing,
Well I tried to plagiarize and pass; What was I thinking?

We talk about your son,
Your double barrel shotgun,
How you ate a ton,
Your dog who's 'pretty dumb.'

We talk about your music,
And how Benny can't produce it
All 'cause he's illiterate,
And your boss: the hypocrite.

We talk about your benz,
and your new shiny rims.
your grandma's depends,
The looks you get buyin''em.

About the olden days of yore,
You still have to settle a score,
And I want you to know that
All this is really a bore...

You talk too much and it's about time
You got a piece of my mind!

I'm tired of hearing you,
I wanna talk for once
I wanna tell you shut the hell up,
You're such a fool
Talk too much, talk too loud, talk too close,
Talk to me, much too soon.
Oh I try avoidin' you you you
you usually
But occasionally, I'll try to deal with you.

Way long ago back when I was still young,
I had a nightmare and I bit my tongue,
I woke up in pain and I was bleedin,
And I had to skip school 'cause my sheets needed cleanin'.

I took a shower and then I got dressed.
I put on the outfit that made me look best.
Went to the Grove and caught me a movie,
It got better when I met little Susie.
It was long ago back when I was still young,
I always skipped school and always had too much fun.
Susie taught me how to dance and showed me a new life
Well we fell in love hard and she became my wife.

Well her face started saggin', along with her breasts,
And they became as soft as a bird's twig nest.
So I broke it off and found a new woman,
A woman who could do everything Susie couldn't.

I took a shower and then I got dressed.
I put on the outfit that made me look best.
Went to the Grove and caught me a movie,
It got better when I met little Susie.
It was long ago back when I was still young,
I always skipped school and always had too much fun.
I ditched old Susie and found me a new girl,
And we fell in love like two Spring squirrels.

It's all 'cause long ago when I was still young,
I had a nightmare and I bit my tongue,
I woke up in pain and I was bleedin,
And I had to skip school 'cause my sheets needed cleanin'...

Blame it all on my teach,
Now that I'm on the street;
'Cause I wrote these dirty poems.
Makin' parodies,
Offendin' ladies,
I wonder what Straz'll say when I show him.

I can see it all now...
I'll fail without doubt.
Because he didn't like my songs.
But it's all okay,
I'll go platinum one day,
And on stage girls will throw me their thongs.

'Cause I've got real poetic talent
Writin' all of these,
My originalities,
Okay, they're parodies,
I'm shiftin' the balance-
There's no doubt about it,
In the white rappin' world of country.

Well it's Friday evenin', We're headin' out
Hopefully we'll catch us some trout.
I'm in the water crankin' the motor.
We've got our cooler full of beer,
Ridin' off without fear,
Drinkin' us our beer and shots of liquor.

The drinkin' boat's connected to the life vest boat,
The life vest boat's connected to the stayin' full of hope,
'Cause we'll all end up drunk,
And we'll wind up all afloat,
And the drinkin boat's connected to the life vest boat.

Hey beer and liquor means disaster,
And don't you know you get drunk faster,
If you decide to mix alcohols.
If you play with fire, you'll wind up burned,
But you never get a good lesson learned,
And out the boat everybody falls.

The drinkin' boat's connected to the life vest boat,
The life vest boat's connected to the stayin' full of hope,
'Cause we'll all end up drunk,
And we'll wind up all afloat,
And the drinkin boat's connected to the life vest boat.

Hey sing it with me
Let's make sure you know....

The drinkin' boat's connected to the life vest boat,
The life vest boat's connected to the stayin' full of hope,
'Cause we'll all end up drunk,
And we'll wind up all afloat,
And the drinkin boat's connected to the life vest boat.

The drinkin' boat's connected to the life vest boat,
The life vest boat's connected to the stayin' full of hope,
'Cause we'll all end up drunk,
And we'll wind up all afloat,
And the drinkin boat's connected to the life vest boat.