You
Full name: Michael David Black
Do you like it: I like Mike better
Why: It's smooth as a baby's ass...oh so suave
Nicknames: mike, mikey, mickey, mick, milky, milks, hal, klumps, klumpsta, smokey, blacky, black, mr black, quantifah, taytay, monkey
Age: 18 and it blows. I want to be 21. Or just a few years older so i can holler at the fsu hotties. They aren't into younger cuties like me, noooo, just the older cuties. WELL FUCK YOU TOO YOU STUCK UP BITCHES. i dont need them anyway, i have a hand.
DOB: September 23, 1985
Height: Six feet and 3 inches. aaand i'm still growing. crazy, no?
Hair color: okay, i admit it, i'm a fucking moron and i didn't know my own hair color but it is brown. it is a light-dark brownish color.
Eye color: blue. but sometimes these sexy suckas change colors and become green and shit. crazyness.
Where do you live: Tallahassee reppin tha 8-5-0 HIGHWAY 20 BIATCH
Do you like it there: there are so many hotties in my school i dont know which way to turn (that's a yes) and all the college hotties comin thru my line at publix... oh baby oh baby oh milky! and then their huge ass boyfriend comes right behind them because he forgot the condoms. bastard. and he wears those condoms for dual pleasure. what a dweeb. only tiny pecker people need the condoms to do the pleasuring.
Where were you born: M I A represent that 3-0-5. im ghetto like gepetto. holler front.
Zodiac sign: i'm a Libra and my twin maria is not. crazy. (i was born on the cusp)
Shoe Size: size 14 and you know what they say about men with big feet... and yes, it's true. i'm proof. wanna peek? too bad, my crotch is on lockdown, right maria?
Grade: SENIOR CLASS OF '04
School: Florida State University School but i'll be in fsu by august. hell yizeah
Family
Parents names: Mark Douglas Black & Anita Louise Marshburn Black
Do you have any siblings: unfortunately... but we don't talk about them
If so, what are their names and ages: Mark: 28, Debbie: 34? ...maybe... she's way older than me, and has 3 kids.
Do you have any pets: My cat was given away. Wizard. And my dog was too. Ruffy. And now i'm waiting till i get my own place to get a bull terrier or another jack russel or maybe a boxer and when i get my puppy i'm going to get a kitten at the same time so they can be playmates. and i'm going to dress them up in crazy suits and take pictures of their gay asses and laugh at them. did i mention i want a donkey? i like donkeys.
How many: none anymore, but thats just for now. wait till i get my ass. itll be the best looking, most nice, awesome ass ever.
What type: they were a feisty little couple. A dog and a cat. The dog used to chase the hell out of the cat but she was just frontin. She was really scared to death of the cat.
Favorites
Number: Any prime number. 11, 13, 7, 53. I dont know why but i like them. 69 isnt prime but i like that too. i wonder why now after that RASPBERRY on my neck
Color: dark: green/blue
Season: I'd have to say the fall or spring because it's not too cold or too hot but it is still a little sunny so i can go lay on the roof and get some sun without baking or without freezing my nips off
Holiday: Thanksgiving because all that food is so good it makes me wanna break down and cry
Month: september. not too hot, not too cold, and more importantly my birthday. and thats when the color changes start and thats just beautiful
Day of the week: wednesday. hump day! lets all go have a hump session.
Grade, so far: senior. except ive got major senioritis which i thought was total bullshit but its not. i have an awesome job with awesome people and have awesome school mates. its just all cool. and ive changed a lot too so its very accomodating.
Sport: COLLEGE football. Go FSU WOOOO OW OW OWWWW! and hockey but i only like the fights. Those are awesome. fights.
Teacher, so far: Ms. Romaguera, Mrs. Bringas, and Mrs. Burdick were all hot and funny. Mrs. Singleton and Mrs. Aguilera were awesome. I tried to look down Ms. Romaguera's shirt once.. I got caught lol. I was a perv back in 3rd and still am.
Candy: skittles or milky way...MILKY. lol that's my white ass. CAUSE IM WHITE! right isabel? cause everything has to do with me being WHITE. say it loud...IM WHITE AND IM PROUD
Food: sea food mainly but sushi, pizza, and corned beef are awesome. I love white people food. god, everythign really is about me being white.
Dessert: chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot piiiiiie. lol yeah pie.
TV show: MadTV...duh. and SNL, The Drew Carey Show, Who's Line Is It Anyway?, The Simpsons, and Boston Public with that one handed bitch who slapped the kid. that was funny. and also i like real sex on hbo and the practice, and there was somethign else but i forgot
Radio station: 102.3, 100.7
Song: Dangerous, Pure Morning, Aw naw, Smooth Criminal [not the queer ball grabbing version... I like AAF], yeah, freak-a-leek, the drinking bone, i be strokin', you know... all the good songs. I STROKE IT!
Word: queef or bitchslap orrr asshat. which maria made up and completely brought me to tears.
Animal: tigers... and monkeys... and king snakes... and... i cant choose lol let me think. shit i want to be a vet i love them all. i like roosters, they make me laugh for some reason. donkeys sound cool. i dont like sloths tho. snails are cool however. turtles are cool but theyre ugly and mean, and fish are just plain food. roaches are not animals they are plagues of the earth and i hate them with a passion. anyway, next question.
Toy: i dont have time for toys anymore, between work and school im all booked up. but if i had to choose i guess id say...your hand ;)
Flower: The one I get to pin on my dates titty when we go to the prom. ooh by the way i think im going to take micah wooooo and theres a hotel party before and afterwards so well be drunk. but no sex. my crotch is on lockdown. fa real shawtay.
Clothing store: Ross...its nasally orgasmic
State (that you've been to!): anything in the south.. Especially FLORIDA. it IS a part of the south, Ms. Aitchison doesn't know jack shit. the dumb bitch. I'm still psised about that. I hope the confederates rise again and stone her ass... or... something really really bad like peeling her toe nails off slowly, one by one. or just ..i dont know. but itll be bad.
Ice cream flavor: Any of those really good specialty ice creams. and cookie dough. and mint chocolate chip. oh good cookie dough is so good. moose tracks looks really good but ive never tried it. thats what i hate about publix. all the food makes me so hungry its insane. and i eat so much and still only weigh 145! wtf. my goal is 150. i was half a pound off tonight. ONE FUCKING HALF OF A POUND. whatever. lying ass scale.
Breakfast food: pig fat... or bacon if you want to call it that. with grits, toast, scrambled eggs, and corned beef hash and sausages...WHITE people food. lol im such an asshole
This Or That
Me/You: I'm conceited. Me. If i was you id fuck me. dont lie to yourself, you would too.
AOL/AIM: AIM even though all of AOL should burn in hell. I hate it all. Always kicking me off, always being bastards. I hope they die slow painful deaths, like by being eaten alive by a rabid flock of fleas
CD/Cassette: CD..who the hell would choose casette? Besides all the cheap-asses out there. No offense Melissa, You're not cheap, just ...thrifty.
DVD/VCR: yes, my dvd player was stolen. so now its more like ppv satellite on my aunts account (she lets me! im not that rude)
Radio/CD: radio... I feel like I'll miss something good on the radio.. and i get tired of songs on cd too easily i keep switching cds so much im gonna die one day trying to focus on music instead of the road. so radio.
Slow dance/Freak dance: uh...I'm white. and a guy. I don't know how to dance, so let's just grind and I can feel on yo boo-ooty
Jeans/Khakis: khakis blow
Leather/Pleather: only people who aren't potty trained wear leather pants
Sexy/Hot: sexxxy me. mmf.
Car/Truck: funny story. i pulled into the gas station and a truck was blocking the cashiers view of my vehicle. now normally they say "thank you for choosing gate pump 6 in the red truck, have a nice night" but this night they said "thank you for choosing gate pump 6 in the blue four-wheeled car." lmfao wtf is that? honestly. you crackhead. so yeah i drive a car.and a shitty one at that. well, shitty on the outside.
Strong/Weak: Me? lol I'm a lanky ass white boy. I'm ...not so strong. not weak, just ...not so strong. lol. all the sexy ladies can dominate me. please.
Tall/Short: I'm tall but I like short girls
Gap/Old Navy: how about blow me you child laboring bastards.
Nsync/BSB: yeah I'll have to stay with my old answer...nsync since Justin dated Britney whose bongos I saw. lol i said bongos.
Love/Lust: Lust is a sin. A DEADLY sin. guess im going to hell.
Gone In 60 Seconds/The Fast and the Furious: never saw Gone in 60 but F&F was awesome. michelle rodriguez is hideous however. sorry chandler but she is. the sister of vin diesel was hot tho.
Inside/Outside: outside...I like to drive around hanging one arm out the window with a cigarette and blasting music. i really need to stop smoking. i was smoking in my car tonight and the car wasnt even moving when a huge cherry dropped on my crotch and i flipped out thinking it was going to put a hole in my work pants. but it didnt. so i justended up hurting myself for no reason. dammit.
Lipstick/Lipgloss: Lip gloss just because everyone says I wear it but it's CHAPSTICK. Winter kills my lips. but atleast i dont have that cracking nasty shit going on. i dont care, im semi-metrosexual. blow me.
Silver/Gold: silver...I'm not ghetto enough for gold....yet. and did i mention im white? the only gold this cracker is going to wear is my wedding ring.
Piercings/Tattoos: for me or for her? i like piercings for her and tattoos for me but i dont know. its so...controversial i cant take it its too much for me to try to analyze and im too undecisive.
Football/Basketball: football...once again, I'm WHITE... even though i playyed bball for 5 years all through elementary and middle. its just cause im tall. like larry byrd, but suckier.
Thunder/Lightning: thunder. lightning gets scary. I think someone will pop up by my window after a flash and then disappear like in the horror movies. I was traumatized by LSD. oh yeah that is true (im reading my old answers as i update) but also i have to say i love lightning because its fucking erotic and gets me in the mood for the allnight kissing touching feeling looove making. im an animal. im a bull! come ride me.
Friends
Who is your best girl friend: you know...id have to say maria right now because i havent talked to paola or sarah in a long ass time. but i still love htem to death.
Guy friend: right now? Jesse outside of school because hes really good to me, and treats me like family. and at school id say andrew cause hes hilarious and we get along pretty well.
Do you get along with people easily: Most of the time. my honesty causes a lot of people to dislike me cause ill tell them and everyone else i dont like them. and also...thats it cause i just forgot again.
Who have you known the longest: Nick, with 6 years between us.
Who do you dislike the most?: Bryan Sutherland. GOD JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE i hate that kid hes so nasty he looks like the star wars kid but worse and hes so annoying and thinks he knows everything and he has horrible bo and hes ashy and nasty and i want to punch him in his mole-looking face.
Was your crush/bf/gf a close friend before you liked: I'm single. And like maria said you cant search for love you have to let love find you. le sigh. what the fuck ever happiness better hurry the fuck up and find me. santa has no goddamn problem and that fat bastard has REINDEER pulling him around ONCE a damned year, i think love would be faster.
Craziest: that ones up in the air. probably me. i have big balls, and i do almost anything i want to when i want to how i want to. im nuts. so yeah, me.
Loudest: Jacky Rasheda and Perla
Quietest: Ash and Erika
Sweetest: Sarah and Ash
Most caring: Sarah Paola and Isabel
Most understanding: Nick, Sarah, Pao, and Erika
Sleeziest: Nick, or that slut Milks
Funniest: Jill Micah Maria Andrew
Best dressed: Maria and Micah and Krissy
Biggest flirt: Me lol for real.
Most likely to have a long-term relationship....over a year: Paola has one. the bitch.
Cutest couple: Me and: P!nk, Mrs Bringas, Mrs Burdick, or Steph hot-ass Edelman OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT EDELMAN HOLY SHIT im drooling. mm mmm good.
Most loyal: Nick Sarah Pao and Erika
Most likely to be on America's Most Wanted: Nick or Jill and I
Most likely to be a stripper: Nick
One you'd travel across the world for: All my best friends
Smartest: Me and this white guy i know named mike black and me again.
Who has the nicest parents: Krissy Nick and Sarah
Who is like your adopted sister/brother: Nick Sarah and Maria my twin
Why: Me and Sarah decided so and Nick and I are tight likethat and me and maria are just psychically linked making us think we were separated at birth and are twins. so were tight like that. very "eye to eye"
Love and Relationships
Do you have a bf/gf: no...I'm free. come claim me.
If so, who: shut up queef
If not, do you have a crush: more like 3 soulmates in 3 cities
If so, who: you know who
How long have you liked your bf/gf/crush: oh sweet Jesus in heaven above. i have to think. let me think. the average is a little over 2 years. but thats the AVERAGE. haha
What about them do you like so much: their personality. personlaity is so much more to me than looks. but looks are great too dont get me wrong. just cause youre hot doesnt mean i wont like, hotties. heres my numer 766-1278, call me. anytime anyday ooh baby bootycall.
What is their strongest quality: are you fucking stupid? probably sense of humor. and the intelligence factor.
How long have you known them: if theres one thing i hate more than bryan sutherlands its redundance.
What physical feature attracted you to them first: honestly? face/boobs. t&a baby.
Personality feature: i dont know but i want it allll ayyyy mami dame culo dame dame ahora dame mas porfavor me gusta me gustas y me gusta tu cuerpo y to cara y me gustas totalamente ay co�o singame!
Present
What are you doing right now: i just scratched my head and now im about to scratch my chin. im also talking to maria online. i scratched my neck finally but all this talk about itching has made the itch jump from place to place so now its in my head again and my armpit now and my thigh and another spot on my thigh and omg this is insane im having an itch attack someone attacked me with itching powder the little prank bastards
What cd is in your cd player: a country mix cd! the drankin bowns cuhnectid to tha pawrty bown...
Are you hot: Iyes ma'm sho nuff am.
How are you sitting: my legs are together but spread out at the feet and im leaning back in my chair with my arms coming together at the keyboard so i can type and im staring at the screen as i type. detailed enough for you you nosey prick?
Is there music on: yes. ....i forget his nae oh yeah! wai, oh yeah. 50 cent - 21 questions. my whole music folder is in winamp and being played randomly. i made a typo but im too lazy to fix it.
What time is it: 1:11 am
Where are your parents, if you know: My mom's sleeping right now, and my dad is probably cheating on Susan with some other skanky white trash crackwhore
Future
How old will you be when you graduate high school: lets just say i'll be legal ;) (call me: 766-1278)
Are you going to get married: yeah...and father a few kids too. the first son of mine will be named Izzy. his name will hence be Izzy Black (and for the MORONS: Izzy black= Is He Black)
Is there anyone you want to marry: claro que si pero no puedo decirte quien que quiero casarme
If so, who: i cannot divulge that information at this time. ...did i spell divulge right? is it devulge? who the hell cares -i cant tell you who i wanna marry so step off, bucky.
Are you going to have children: yeah but what if i hate them? like if theyre dorky it'll annoy me and then ill start hating them and poor kids. and not to mention theyll have an asshole father whos going to name his kid izzy black. hahha sucks to be him
If yes, how many: 2-5
What will you name them: josh, jacob, tyler, and i dont know about girls names. Christine is a nice name. and IZZY of course.
Do you want to go to college: yeah
Which college: FSU or UM or cornell. in that order. actually i only want cornell or um if its free. and i already got into fsu woooooooo holler back white boy!
Whats your expectations for when your 25: living out my wildest most passionate fantasies by having crazy multiorgasmic heated steamy sex with numerous college girls. lmao God I'm a genius.
Have You Ever
Drank: ohhhh yes and i have the scar to prove it
Skinny Dipped: oh yeah and my mom almost caught my little naked body running around
prank called the police: no but that susan thing might be considered a prank lol
Been followed, etc by the police: no.. just almost arrested by 2 asshole white-haters oh i lied one of them followed me for a while OH YEAH and another asshole followed me for a while too and then gave me a goddamned ticket. that asshole.
Been high: woooo awesome times lol yeah i have and it kicked ass but i quit that cause im aging and its time to grow up kids. weed is bad.
Done drugs: if i was high dont u think i smoked something! dumbasses. yeah i know theres needles and pills shut up smart asses...bryan sutherlands. i hate you. I HATE YOUR NASTY PIG GUTS BRYAN. anyway. that felt good.
Wished you'd die: ...yeah but not anymore
Tried to commit suicide: no im a wuss. got close once tho. long sad sad story. lets talk about something happy. i have a big manhood.
Broken a bone: dammit not yet and im still trying
Driven illegally: i am the king of that. have you ever seen me drive? i should have a bumper sticker that says "my cars a piece of shit i dont give a fuck if i get in a wreck" cause thats how i drive. and also it should say GET THE FUCK OFF MY TAIL OR ILL SLAM ON MY BRAKES cause i do and also "IM IN A FUCKING HURRY" even tho im usually not but i drive like i am.
Thrown things at your parents: no but I slammed my moms fingers in the door a few times... by accident tho. and i laughed. is that mean? oh well, it was funny.
Runaway: ...attempted lol. just to scare them. fuckers. and some OLD bitch caught me. putting her nasty drunken hands on me. sick. let me barf now.
Sneaked to your b/f or g/f house: no but ive snuck out...and gotten caught a few times too
Anywhere else: PAY ATTENTION i just said that. i HATE non pay attention-ers.
Others
Do you right in cursive or print: i write in print but i get lazy and mix into cursive and then realize i cant read that so i switch and get lazy again. its nuts.
Are you a lefty, righty, or ambidextrious: the a word. oh shit i said "the a word." god im lazy
Do you believe in God: Yes and I'll make every attempt to pursuade you too. ask Ashley lol she knows. GO CHRIST WOO WOO OWW BABY OW i want a revolution (woop woop)
Whats your religion: Christian
What do you think of rainbows: theyre cool in the sky. weird on cars. even more weird on shirts. but whatever floats your boat pal
Do you have any piercings/tattoos: no my dad says im too white for a tattoo. but i dont want one anyway. maybe a piercing but where? lmfao my bodies not meant to be pierced. its a sin anyway. god my dads an asshole. ASSHOLE!
If so, where: I hate this survey
Do you want anymore: i really hate this survey
Do you drive: yeah and I get road rage and honnk and scream and flick people off when im not with family lol and sometimes when i am with family.
Do you have braces or glasses: i had glasses but i lost them somewhere. oh well.
Like milk and cookies: kind of. its making me nauseas thinking of it right now
If you could have a 6th sense, what would it be: flying, no doubt. but mind reading, super strength/intelligence is really awesome or maybe invisibility. if i was invisible!
Did you talk to your crush/bf/gf today:2 out of 3 aint bad.
If so, for how long: who cares, i said yes
Do you think this is stupidly long: it's unGodly long. i love you isabel.