5.11.00 So, I went out with a guy last night. Things went well. I find him very intriguing. He seems to be all the things that I say I want in a man right now. It's weird though, because I say I want these things, (honesty, loyalty, respect..blah blah blah), but when I get them, I feel as though I don't want them at all. I guess what I mean is, I find those things and then it scares me. I feel trapped - almost as though I'm forced into this serious relationship that I thought I wanted. I think I would be happy with him if I could just let myself go. I'm too hung up on the little things. I'm anxious to get back into school. Anything. Art, science, basketweaving. I don't care. I think I want to be a career student. Eternally attending classes, studying, socializing with other students. There's always something to learn right in front of me. With a real job, I don't feel that way. I feel like I get into a rut. Like if I want to learn something, I have to search for it.

home