We didn't usually take Martin Street home, but this day was different. The rain had subsided and the smell of wet freshly cut grass mixed with the warm, yeasty scent of the bakery lingered in the air. Daniel kept pace beside me, gently tapping his tattered umbrella along the sidewalk as we walked. It still irritated me even though we had been together for almost six years, the way he took things lightly. The carefree and nonchalant air that was always about him. His long mousy brown hair lapped about his shoulders as he walked. His normally bright blue eyes had dulled to mathc the color of the gray sky. The train wailed in the distance as we tried to speed up, knowing that we wouldn't make it. As we looked ahead we saw the freight cars whizzing by near Oak street. We stopped and sat on the grass to wait. Daniel finally spoke, now I wished he hadn't.
"Casey, this is really stupid," he said calmly, "we may not have much at all, but we have enough."
These words angered me even more. Why was he so content with the life we had. I sat and slowly took a drag of the cigarette then passed it to him.
"I thought you had goals," I said, clearly irritated, "you used to want things, for both of us."
"I'm young. I don't want to be tied down by a job, a kid, or what you would call a life. I have everything I need right now, and you are a part of that."
I knew Daniel loved me. That had always been clear. He and I had never had the typical relationship problems. We met at age 14, both alone and had instantly clinged to each other. Now at age twenty, we had learned to depend on each other and though we had many fleeting friendships, we trusted no one like one another.
The train sounded in the distance as I saw the last car pass. We both stood and began to walk again.
"I'm tired of this life, Daniel. I'm not being greedy. I just want something different for us, something permanent, something whole."
Spending nearly every night fishing for coins from the fountains downtown was not my idea of a life. At 11pm we would make our journey into the city. Masked by the night and the bustle of people, we moved from fountain to fountain, watchful of the patrol cops who walked the area. By 3 or 4 am, we had accumulated enough to purchase a loaf of bread and sometimes lunchmeat from the all-night store. We bathed using the water spigot from the alley between apartment buildings, then washed our clothes and ate as they dried. On good nights we brought home nearly thirty bucks. We stayed active at night, the time when it is most dangerous. During the daylight hours, we could more safely travel and sleep at our place just outside downtown. We had found a confortable home, if you could call it that, just beside the abandoned railroad warehouses. It was an old storage shed that had held up quite well to the elements. The door was solid wood and had a metal clasp with a hook that held a padlock. We had furnished the shed confortably with thick blankets and old sofa cushions.
We crossed the train tracks and rounded the corner beside the warehouses. I felt Daniel grasp my hand - his way of offering a silent comfort without an apology. He understood what I was feeling.
"Just tell me it won't always be this way," I continued.
He simply nodded, looking over at me as we walked. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't look up at him because I knew it would not matter. As we approached the door, I let go of his hand and began fidgeting with the lock. Once inside, I turned and faced him as I pulled the small faded t-shirt over my firm, round breasts, then over my head. My fine, blonde hair lay loose along my shoulders.
He stood motionless as I slid my fingers along the waistline of my jeans. Within moments, I stood naked before him. Without a word, he stepped toward me, his mand gently made its way down the curve of my back as he pulled me closer to him. I closed my eyes as he glided his tongue into my mouth.
My mind drifted as we made love. The past was no longer a burden, but a treasure. Still, I knew it was gone. I awoke a few hours later wrapped in our blankets and in his arms. I dreaded the thought of leaving that warmth to venture out into the wet, chilled air. Slowly I slid out of bed and got dressed. I packed the remainder of the bread into my tattered backpack, along with a few treasured belongings. I tied my hair back as I looked down at Daniel's sleeping figure.
I sighed as I made my way out into the light rain. I missed him already. Walking for miles I thought of my life. Is this what I wanted? Apparently so. The sun began to set as I traveled. My legs ached, but I ignored the soreness. The rain wet my face and hid the tears.
