Angel#1:
Yeah, that�s it. A message from your Dad.
Jesus:
Looks like the only thing you were delivering is his seed.
Angel#1:
Ummm. . . Well, it might look like that, but we telling these nice girls about God�s love.
Jesus:
Yeah, like you were telling my Mom about God�s love? I wasn�t due to make my big come back for another 1500 years. You might be angels, but you two are not the brightest stars in the celestial abode. Your inability to keep your hands to yourself made me come prematurely.
(Jesus looks wryly.)
Angel#1:
Uhhhh. . . Yeah, sorry about that, again.
Jesus:
Yeah, well Gabriel, is that like the time you came to my mother Mary to tell her of God�s love and I was born 9 months later in Bethlehem? As I remember, that was a mistake too. Thanks for that. And, how about that time 9 months before I was born this time around? To that crack whore? Dude!
Angel#1:
Sorry Jesus, the convenience store was all out of condoms my size, and the ones I got broke.
Jesus:
They don�t make them your size. If it were possible for me to experience anything other than love and joy, I would be really pissed about being born to a crack whore.
Angel#1:
Really, I already apologized for that. Besides, there can only be one of you at a time. I can�t make you come twice.
(Angel#1 looks wryly.)
Jesus:
Yeah, but you could end up bringing back Moses or something, and you know how I feel about that guy. (under his breath) 40 years in the desert and he never stopped for directions once.
Angel#1:
Don�t worry boss, after my accident with that crack whore, I mean your Mother, God gave a vasectomy.
Jesus:
You only had one job and that was delivering God�s seed. Doesn�t that make you totally useless now?
Angel#1:
No, I�m a trainer now.
Jesus:
What?!?
Angel#1:
Yeah, I�m training my replacement. I�m showing him the ropes.
Jesus:
I think you two ought to get out of here before my Dad catches you down here. Don�t you remember that whole part of Genesis chapter 6, when my Dad had to destroy all the kids you and your friends made? You remember how mad he was.
Angel#1:
Yeah! Ok. You ain�t going to tell him about this, are you?
Jesus:
No, its all good. You better split though.
(Angel#1 and Angel#2 get up and straighten out their robes and walk out of the room.)
(Jesus looks at the two girls smiling at him.)
Jesus:
So, ladies, You know, only with me inside you, can you experience the joy of heaven.
