| Pygmyz |
| The Story of Kim Jong Il's Night Club |
| Constantly in fear of attack from America, North Korea had to take action to keep its dictator safe. His endless pairs of silver jumpsuits and horrid buzzcut/mohawk could be spotted easily even from across the ocean. The North Koreans knew this and they knew that they would have to think of something good to properly hide Kim Jong Il. It was about three months after the announce that North Korea had nuclear weopons that the plan was put into action. In a small backroom of a huge building on a small stool stood Kim Jong Il surronded by three tailors measuring and fitting him. Slowly, the silver colored shirt and pants were turning into a new set of clothes. The final touch was put on his suit and the lights faded in the room. Outside the loud roar of the crowd was silenced. All was dark. Then outside, in the night sky a bright light blinded the crowd. As the crowd regained there sight they looked into the light. A huge set of green lights were ignited spelling out the name of the club beneath it: "Pygmyz." The crowd roared with applause, but was again silenced when two huge velvet covered doors swung open beneath the sign. The crowd stared with bewilderment. The crowd was puzzled by who that stood before them. The small man stood wearing huge parachute pants dragging under his feet, a smooth purple leapord pattern jacket, a tophat with a pink feather sticking in its side, and a huge peice of gold hanging around his neck. "Welcome to Pygmyz, the largest, sweetest, ill-skilliest, most def night club this side of Korea." The man formed the North Side symbol with his hand (this story is not going to be made into a movie so you don't have to worry about how to make an "N" with one hand) and screamed: "I AM KIM JONG IL SKILL!" The crowd rushed into the building cheering and expecting a huge bash. But to their disappointment they found nothing inside but a huge empty room with some very beutiful missile-like decorations covered in the North Korean flag and Bio-Hazard symbol. The crowd roared: "Where is all that we were promised, where are the women?" "Quickly now... er, girls, come out" yelled Kim Jong Il Skill. From a small room in the back came two women. One was wearing a wonderful bright orange dress only complemented by the green beret and mustache that "she" had. The other was wearing a wonderful purple blouse topped off with a long brown beard and pearl-white Turban. |
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