Dream Pet Bios- page 2

Mr. Dolfini

This is Mr. Eduardo Dolfini. He works nights at the local storage facility. He would like to shake your hand. It gets lonely at the storage facility. Mr. Dolfini longs for the day he can return to the helm of an old tub on the briny sea. But for now, please shake his hand.

Mr. Dolfini would like to thank his sponsors, Public Storage and Dakin Dream Pets.






Jerome

Jerome is the proprietor of a successful diner in Southern California. He prides himself on the mid-grade coffee served there, and pesonally tastes every pot before it leaves the kitchen. But when the nightly crowd clears out, and all the help goes home, Jerome becomes something of a condiment fiend. He has been known to polish off a bottle of A-1, thirty packs of Sweet and Low, and half a jar of mustard before sunup.


Cheesyface Nelson

Mr. Nelson has declined an interview and has asked me, his attorney, to speak on his behalf. Cheesyface Nelson was sent up the river for a 10-12 stretch for doing in a whole shipment of Havarti last spring. He has since become a model prisoner and expects to be on parole within six months. I myself am impressed by his immaculate appearance and fine manners. Though he has declined to speak, fearing further incrimination, he has allowed us to post this photo of he and I, discussing his case over coffee.

"Cheesy-weezy" has asked me to say hello to his "mummy," whom he misses every day.

Photo by Erica

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