| Dear Sturmfuhrer, My Life Is a Goddamned Mess |
| Here at Wolfpack headquarters we receive an awful lot of mail, pertaining to the web-site and other topics. Many of our employees, being unable to read and capable only of carrying large objects, cannot reply to the queries, but I will address some of your questions and comments here on this page! Dear Archfiend Caeth, What is the point of your webpage? Sincerely, A. Friend Dear A., I would say that my webpage does not exist as a point at all. Although the light from your computer screen bombarding your eyes may have some particle-like properties, light actually travels in wave form. A quick diffraction experiment will show this to be true. As for the purpose of my page, it serves as a one-way conduit of propaganda and disinformation, as well as satirizing popular culture. Love, Caeth Dear Generalissimo Faust, I am an avid user of the makeoutclub, and I have to say that I find your page quite degrading to some of us. Just because you live your life differently than us doesn't mean we are any less than you. What gives? Odiously, The Communual Songdialer Dear Unholy One, You make some excellent points in your letter. However, in your case, it actually DOES make me better than you because you look like the result of Lucifer breeding with Jaws. The only thing that is missing is massive flaps of cartilage instead of bone. Oh wait, you have those and use them to listen to Modest Mouse. Please, in the name of all that is good and proper, please stay away from computers altogether! Love, Dockta Faust Dear DJ Cyanide, I caught your musical work with the Agents of Torturous Fascism, and that stuff was tight! I have a question about love for you. You seem like a ladies' man, so maybe you can help. How can I pick up babes that listen to the sheer amount of Death Cab for Cutie that I do? Thanx, The Humble Rodent Dear Roberto De Muerte, I am more skilled at meeting ravers that work in juice bars, but I'll give it a shot. Using makeoutclub and various band e-groups is one way, although I cannot in good conscience support either of these things. You might want to consider listening to even more sissy music in order to appear more sensitive, or perhaps wear shirts with stars on them. But if you're so intent on meeting a new flame, why not just set yourself on fire? Love, Alsvater Cyanide |