Backwards to Valhalla
Those halcyon days of emo...

1. The Scandalous Volvo Crash! Did I really wreck my beige car?
2. Songs that make me soak my sweater,
3. Why Reggie and the Full Effect isn't REAL emo.
4. Why I keep getting dumped. (It's a combination of egotism, petty theft, and 10 jars of grape jelly.)
5. Why "The Oi! Scouts" is the worst band name known to mankind.
6. Janet Reno: Hot or Not?

Since I haven't added anything in quite some time, I shall now freestyle some emo lyrics for your reading displeasure.

"The Stars Forgot To Shine Today"
by: That Emaciated Sensitive Guy With The Bad Haircut

Sitting alone again at the bar at closing time
Not even the new photography journal can ease my mind
.because.my.life.is.punctuated.by.the.periods.of.despair.
where i forget both capitalization and how to comb my hair
Something you said to me the last time you departed
About how this winter of the soul was making us retarded
A thousand stars blotted out by crystalline tears
Of misery caused by the harm of all those dear
To me
And i want to flee
From thee
Sweaters unravel like my sanity as i watched you go
Too devestated to do any spasmic dancing at the bright eyes show
Now that all is said and done there is only a gaping void
Where you change into a goth and I'm left straightedge and destroyed.

Keep in mind that I accomplished this after much study of the "emo" subculture, so if these words bear resemblence to anything The Juliana Theory put out, don't sue me, its probably just spontaneous memory recall on my part.
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