Silly Things

• When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
• What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
• What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!
• If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?
• If a tin whistle is made out of tin, what exactly is a fog horn made out of?
• How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?

Dodgy Thing Of Death

A farmer has a motorbike, but he gets bored with it and so
He decides to sell it for �30.
3 boys read the farmers advert in the local paper and realise they could buy
the bike if they all chip in �10 each.
So they go along to the farmers and buy the bike from him.
The farmer watches the boys go down the street and round the corner pushing the bike between them,
having watched this fiasco he decides he was a bit harsh on the boys,
so he calls over his son,
stuffs a �5 note in his hand and tells him to run after the boys and give them the 5 quid.
Halfway down the road the son realises that a �5 note won�t split into three
so he pops into the local shop and gets 5x�1 coins.
Slipping two of these into his back pocket the boy breaks into a run to catch up with the boys.
He finds them in a pile round the corner, the bike lying on the road,
explaining his father had a change of heart he chucks the 3 pound coins onto the nearest boys lap
and sprints back to the shop to buy some crisps.
So the boys each got a �1 refund meaning they each spent �9 on the bike,
so 3 x �9 makes �27 add the two quid the son nicked makes �29?
So where�s the other quid!?!

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