~*~* PaRt OnE ~*~*

(you take without my permission, i hunt and kill)

Setting: It's a gorgeous night out. The moon is high in the sky. Crickets are faintly chirping. Streetlights are on, but barely. A faint blue light streaks out of several rooms. All the rooms of the KoRn children are painted in that color. Most of the rooms are that color, mind you. Sitting at home, watching MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!! are our heroes, KoRn.

:: the phone rings. david picks it up and speaks briefly. the convo is short and david hangs up ::

DAVID: Bad news, folks.
MUNKY: What?
FIELDY: Spit it out, man.
HEAD: :: panicking :: Is all the beer gone?!
JONATHAN: No...
HEAD: :: sighing :: Good!
DAVID: Our greatest enemy, Darth Christina, is holding our precious CDs hostage!
JONATHAN: Yikes!
HEAD: Stripes! :: raises eyebrow ::
MUNKY: Are you confused, Head?

:: head pauses ::

HEAD: What does con fused mean?
DAVID: Forget that! We need to get our CDs back!
HEAD: Forget what?
MUNKY: What is WRONG with you, man?!
JONATHAN: :: muttering :: Forget that. We need to get our CDs back. :: gasps :: What a wonderful lyric!
FIELDY: Save it, man.
JONATHAN: :: whines :: How?
FIELDY: Memory, child, memory! :: taps on Jonathan's forehead ::
JONATHAN: Huh?
DAVID: Is this band FULL of idiots?!

:: head and jonathan exchange confused glances ::

MUNKY: This is gonna be a hard mission!

:: Over at Darth Christina's lair ::

DARTH CHRISTINA: Haha! I, like, contain these, like, forever! Nobody can, like, get them from me! :: yawns ::

:: Eminem pops up outta nowhere ::

EMINEM: Whut da hell's happenin'?
DARTH CHRISTINA: Nothing, like, darling.
EMINEM: Whut did you do, Christina? :: rubs eyes ::
DARTH CHRISTINA: Honey, if I can't, like, have KoRn, I'll, like, lead them here and we can, like :: giggles :: have a big funbreeze!

:: Eminem raises an eyebrow ::

EMINEM: Whuteva. I gotta go. Thanks for the blow job.
DARTH CHRISTINA: You're, like, welcome!
EMINEM: Ask yo managa whut you're doin' today! I may need anudder one. :: leaves ::

:: Darth Christina rolls over to her manager ::

DARTH CHRISTINA: Honey?
MANAGER: What?
DARTH CHRISTINA: What are we, like, doing again?
MANAGER: You're gonna sleep with Carson Daly so you can substitute again for TRL.
DARTH CHRISTINA: Like, like, cool! :: runs to shower ::

:: Back to KoRn ::

NARRATOR: Wait a minute... where IS KoRn?

:: camera flashes all around ::

NARRATOR: Are you guys ready?

:: KoRn jumps out of the tight closet and fly away. Puma capes flying grandly behind them ::

NARRATOR: Make us proud, boys!

tO bE kOnTiNuEd....