The horror it takes to write an innocent fanfiction!!!
HOW TO WRITE A FANFICTION!
Raven: Writing a good fanfiction requires determination, you need to be focused,
you need to stay on the plot, you need to strengthen and put feeling into your
words and on the whole the fanfiction, you need.....
*CRASH! BOOM! THUD! BANG!*
"I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!"
"OMAE O KOROSU!!!!"
"KISAAMAMAA!!!!!"
"WE SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING AT ALL!!!!!!!"
"CAN IT WINNER!!!!"
"YOU CAN IT BARTON!!!"
Raven: (�_�) you need to get rid of five troubles making, catastrophic 15 year
olds -_-!
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First of all, create a peaceful and calm atmosphere for yourself, sit in a
straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of cushions to
beat up if you get distracted and have writers block and need to vent your
frustrations. Secondly, think about what you are going to write, keep sight of
the plot, never lose sight of the plot otherwise you are gonna type in something
irrelevant. Thirdly walk down to the kitchen and make yourself some coffee to
help you concentrate. With that also make yourself a sandwich, grab some chips
and some cookies. Go back to your room and start eating. If the house residents
are making a lot of noise and giving death threats to each other, go down to see
the show, and wonder if you wanna get involved or not or save some lives. You
decide not to save lives, then go outside, and hope to Kami that your house
still stands on its foundations when you get back go out to be inspired. If your
friend from class comes along, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a
hamburger and a LARGE Pepsi to help you concentrate and get inspired. If your
friend tells you about their story and how long it took for them to finish it,
drop her off at her home and try not to get jealous. When you get back to your
house, you see that it's fine from outside, but a battleground on the inside,
after all, there's more to than what meets the eye.
Get your first aid kit out and nurse the injured and wounded, scold the naughty
and death glare the sexist, tell them to clean the house or otherwise there
would be four deaths today (exclude Quatre), and finally sit in a straight,
comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of cushions, ready
to be beaten up. Think over the idea you have and try to develop it. Feel the
words coming to you........................you feeling the words coming?
Good!...........................you know, you haven't written to that kid you
met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it
out of the way so you can concentrate properly! And while you�re at it go look
at your teeth in the bathroom mirror, your mom told you to brush them. After
brushing your teeth, listen to one side of your favorite CD and that's it, I
mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that story. After finishing
one side go down to see if everything is okay, you go down to see that the
lights are off and your are suddenly attacked from four sides. After a while of
beating up, you decide to turn on the lights. You see that Heero is beating
Wufei with a frying pan while Duo and Trowa are pulling each other's hair. Well
what do you know!!!! You managed squirm outta the fight. Finally the G-Boys
decide to call it a day right after having a pepperoni pizza and a piece of
blueberry pie!! Go back upstairs and listen to the other side of your CD just
for inspirations sake. In fact, keep on listening till the batteries die! You
realize that your room looks like a mess, clean it, rearrange all of your CDs
into alphabetical order. Then you phone your friend ask if you had any homework.
Exchange bad remarks about your teacher, the course, the
school/college/university, people and the whole world at large. Sit in a
straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of fluffy
and neat cushions, ready to be massacred. Think over your idea again; roll the
words across your tongue; savor its special flavor. Check the newspaper listings
to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: If
there's an anime marathon or any other marathon, then screw the story. You do
find something interesting, an M*A*S*H 8 hour marathon is coming on channel 31.
And if Nightcourt comes next, keep still and don't touch that remote control.
Phone your friend and ask what they are watching. Discuss about finer things in
life. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror, maybe your mom told you to
gargle. Then look through your elder sibling�s college/university yearbook. Ask
who everyone is and try to annoy them.
Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future. If
everything is quiet, and you are not hearing anything, all is calm and serene;
it is obvious you have overlooked something. Open your door and check to see if
there are any mysterious trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall. Just for
safety, take out your rifle, hold it in your hands and point it upwards and keep
thinking, DO NOT PULL THE TRIGGER!! You hear dripping sounds coming from your
bathroom, you go in to see a leak, you try to fix the leak but the pipe
explodes. Then you get Heero to do it for you. Murmur thanks; it feels nice to
be appreciated. Okay that done with, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a
clean, well lighted place with plenty of...Ahh, you know the drill! Think over
the plot again, just for the hell of it. Scoot your chair across the room to the
window and watch the sunrise.
Start signing the song "This is the air I breathe, your holy presence, living in
me, this is my daily breathe, your very words, spoken, to me, AND I I I I I I I
I I I I, I'm desperate for you, and I I I I I I I I I I, Im lost without
you...." And wake up everyone in your neighborhood, if you suffer, they should
suffer. Lie faced down on the floor and moan clutching your stomach, coffee and
LARGE Pepsi�s don't mix. After spending like twenty minutes in the bathroom.
Leap up to the computer and start typing. Then if the lights go out, go easy on
the poor keyboard and vent your frustration on the poor cushion. When the lights
come back, and you have forgotten the plot or idea of a story, grab a cushion,
put it on your table, and start banging your head against the table. And if that
doesn't satisfy you, then grab a BIG mallet, and to quote Heero, yell at the top
of your lungs �OMAE O KOROSU�, and go kill your muse.
*~OWARI~*
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