| Jokes |
| Blonde Jokes: What do you call a brunette with two blondes on either side? An interpreter What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know what one came first. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once. Once when a brunette was driving in her car, she passed a farmer. with a flock of sheep. She asked him, " if I can guess how many sheep are in your herd, will you give me a sheep?" The farmer says okay and she guesses 485. The farmer replies that she is right and lets her choose a sheep. The farmer than ask, "if I can guess yuor natural hair color, will you give me my sheep back?" She agrees and he guesses that she is a blonde. She is astonished and asks him how he knows. He answers, " You just picked the dog." A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were taken hostage by men. They were about to shot the rehead, when she screamed, "Tornado!". All of the men looked away and the redhead escaped. They moved on to the brunette and were ready to shot her, when she screamed, " Hurricane!". Again, the men looked away and she was free. Finally, they came to the blonde. As they were about to shot, she screamed, "Fire!" Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years." How do you amuse a blonde for hours? Write "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper. What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine? Not everybody has been in a limo. How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were held hostage by cannibals. The canibals told them that they would skin them and make a canoe out of their skin. Instead of painfully dying, the rehead decides to shoot herself. The brunette, also not wanting to die that way, stabs herself to death. Then the blonde grabs a fork and begans poking herself. The cannibals ask her what she is doing and she replies, "Now you'll have a leaking canoe!!" Three blondes wanted to become police officers. The cheif policeman had to test them to make sure they were fit for the job. So, he took the first blonde into his office and showed her a picture of a criminal. He asks her, "how would you identify this suspect on the road if you were to see him?" She says, "well, that's easy. He only has one eye, so I could spot him real quick." The police officer knows she isn't going to get the job, because the picture he showed her was a profile. So, he takes the next blonde in his office and asks her the same question. "Well, that's easy," she explains, " he only has one ear so I could spot him real quick. Knowing, she also has failed, he sends her out, and asks the last blonde to come in. After being shown the same picture as the other blondes, she answers, "well, the suspect wears contacts." The police goes and checks the records, then comes back and asks her, "Omigosh, you're right, how did you know?!?" She calmly explains, " Well, he only had one eye and one ear, so he couldn't wear glasses." (joke submited by alee p.) I knew a blonde that was so stupid that... - she called me to get my phone number - she put lipstick on her forehead b/c she wanted to make up her mind - under "education" on her job application she put "hooked on phonics" - at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius" - she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center - she thought meow mix was a record for cats - when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted) she went home and got 16 friends (joke submitted by alee) |