NewPoems

Finally decided to put some new things up. For a link to my old poems click here. To go home click here. Hope you enjoy the new ones, and if there are updates I will let you know. When I get some time I might put some pictures up too :-) Let me know what you think, you can sign the guest book if you would like. Have a good day and thanks for stopping by.

And remember, this is "copywritten so, don't copy me." -Missy Elliot



	09/25/03 2:53pm (for grandma) The funny thing is Life still goes on. Kramer�s does not stop Serving beers. (I wish I could take you out for one, maybe two). And I got my mail- Some pizza coupons and the phone bill. The #17 bus is on schedule. And right now a man is happy Because he�s only got an hour Of work left before he goes home. Tonight Les Miserable is playing At the theatre. The show must go on. Outside bees are eating apples And my fan is going in Rotation. The mall has not closed The gas station is still pumping. There�s a student taking a test And an old man playing chess. Life does not Stop. But I wish for a second it would Pause. For remembrance. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Response to Damany 06/05/03 10:30 pm Why do you assume That since I am white And go to a good university And drive a nice car And wear designer clothes And keep my own place That I am a product of That silly, preppy, rich White upper-something-middle-class Golf playing, country club attending Stereotypical society? You say I stereotype you. But I say, why do you stereotype me? Yes, I�m white-no, I�m not rich Or above/better than you. Yes I pay my own bills. No I don�t run to mommy & daddy And ask for their credit card. I�m not too good to Take out the trash Get mud on my shoes To pump my own gas. I am a human being, just like you. No, I�m not superhuman. No, I don�t have special privileges. This skin is not a gift, Nor is it who I am. Yes, I understand your �lingo.� Yes, I have friends. And no, we�re not all �like that.� Let me reiterate one more time: I do not think I am better than you, In fact, I know I�m not. It pains me to think that You judge me by my Appearance, speech and actions When you condemn anyone who does it to you. The hypocrisy doesn�t make sense to me. So in response to you- No, I am not that ignorant. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 01/30/04 1:29 am I stayed up Matching my socks Washing my hair Folding my clothes Hoping you�d call. I ordered a pizza Paid thirteen dollars And ate two slices. Got a glass of water Searched for my chocolate Cleaned out my shower Played solitaire Put the TV on mute Fed my fish Waiting for you to call. Call me crazy but I haven�t slept a bit since you left. I keep hoping that One night you�ll knock on my door. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ramblings (yes, this is about you). The first time I saw him. God, I thought, I will marry this man. So he had a snag in his shirt, and maybe a slight beer belly. But, oh, how he was beautiful! And it took me 3 weeks to work up to saying hi, but when I did, I was amazed by his articulate simplicity. Stupid deceptive fucker. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rationalizing 11/04/03 1:31 am I get 3 hours of sleep a night. Just a little indulgence I allow myself When I�m not thinking. I need a new hobby because Going insane is getting tiring. And being tired requires more sleep Which would really mess up my schedule. On a side note: fuck you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last Days 09/26/03 2:27 am (for grandma) I called you- I almost didn�t. I lazily picked up the phone And looked at it. I can�t quite remember What we spoke about. How�s school? You remarked. And then you got tired And I said goodbye. This one�s for you And every one after and in between. The walls are so pale. And although I don�t know What else I could have said, I wish I would have said more. I am, too, guilty For wearing my wall. You must have been so alone And I find myself wondering What it feels like. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Untitled 09/23/03 2:25 am You say jump! And I say, how high? I want to compete With your blue skies. You say vent- Well I say you better duck Because I will vent with authority. These words will hit you Bricks falling from the ceiling This damn glass ceiling I keep hitting my head on. Put on my leash I will follow you around Like a sentence with nine syllables. A rhyme without reason And own without a home. A means with no ends A goal without a plan Is who I am! Can�t say it isn�t my own fault. Partly my own fault. If I can meet you on the fault Line, telephone time. I am running With no air. I am an answer With no question. And sometimes I feel normal But I am not quite real. I keep searching for my home Without knowing. And I envy you For being everything that I Want to be When I fantasize me. Overwhelmingly, I open my doors Only to see the walls closing in You, so desperately trying To save me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What I Want I have thought about What I want And the conclusion Is still the same. I don�t want the Justification of a dream, A means to an end, An action to a reaction. All I want is you. No front porch, Big kitchen, new Benz, Silver dress, paycheck, Credit card, work hard All I want is you. And you don�t have to impress I already am. And you don�t have to support Unless it�s with Love. It�s all I ever wanted To be happy. Don�t want a bottomless bank account With a husband that�s Gone 60-hours-a-week. I want a budget with a Husband that�s here. So maybe it�ll be Fast food, Chevy car, Two-bedrooms, can�t have The best balcony view. But I don�t want that- I just want you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 09/19/03 3:05 pm DECLARATION! Yep- I was bred as one of them An exceptionally good one as well! I can vacuum the floor, Scrub the dirty dishes, Get the laundry dried, Feed the kids, Polish the silver, Dust the TV stand, And put my make-up on, All before my afternoon Soap gets over. Is it fair? My rights restricted, My world limited, My equality still struggling, Being inferior to my superiors! Well, what happens when That person, Cast into a strict mold, Rebels. I don�t wanna do what Great-grandma, grandma, mamma did. I don�t want to be that strong Yet get absolutely no credit for it. What happens when this girl Don�t want to conform no more? It�s time for my own voice, My way, my time. What happens, when this girl Gets a degree and refuses To wash her husbands dishes! Do your own shit. Cook your own meals. My female slavery days are over! Hey! What happens when I got an opinion! I turn liberal! I start to vote! And challenge that Seventy-five-cents-on-the- American-fucking-dollar. America, you are my home. Don�t be a hypocrite to me. I can work construction. I am smart enough to be a Brain surgeon. I am just as good as anything Before me- I don�t wanna marry no rich Man without bein� rich myself. I am the Be all Say all Do all Have all Breakin� the barriers Rule this world Girl. And I can still apply my make-up In under a minute. I curl this hair Walk with flair. Someday I�ll take over your world Maybe be president And rule with my head And not my dick. These years- Thousands of years- Of oppression are Over! You beware Because when I step into Your world I will rock it upside down. This time is mine To reclaim, to own. I�m gonna bring it home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ebony and Ivory: A Love Poem 01/21/04 2:35 am I want to awake Every morning with You in my arms. With not a care in the world Or a dream in the sky Nor the wonderance of why. Just you awakening Sunlight dancing on your skin Wrapped up in white linens. Such an unlikely pairing: Me, the dreamer You, the doer- But perfection reached, Nonetheless, On a radiant Tuesday morning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Untitled (I'm Sorry) 01/29/04 2:10 am Somewhere in my jewelry box Mingled with my Two-for-a-dollar Tarnishing silver earrings Is a half-carat diamond necklace Which I never took seriously. Seven months ago I couldn�t Wait to proudly declare you my home, But now home is just a place I go To get some rest. Late night I watch Letterman, Eat bags of M&Ms and Hershey Bars. I put your picture in the closet So that I don�t have to remember. Six months ago I was having The best sex of my life. Now we just have sex to try to Fight for what we were. It got so bad that I was starting To wonder if love existed, So I invited him over. But I only realized that I missed your curly hair And senseless babble even more. At night I toss and turn Wondering if this was all just a dream. I wake up every day and Do the same old thing. You�ve been gone so long that I don�t know what it feels like To miss you. Five months ago you took off Promising you were starting a Better life for us. Against our best intentions You slept on the ground While I cried myself to sleep. I used to count the days till your return But now I count the stars that I�ve already wished upon. Four months ago you stopped Needing me. Three months ago I stopped Loving you. Two months ago we admitted it to Each other. So here we are in the present, Bitter and unable to speak. You, at the Oyster Pub in Florida And me, laying naked in bed, reading Condorcet 1,500 miles north. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 09/19/03 2:44pm Laced The lies were always Easy to find Bleeding through your eyes. Although to your surprise Mine were easy to disguise! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Miss �Independent� 09/04/03 12:15pm Miss Independent What you gonna do? When daddy cuts off the cash supply? Miss Independent don�t need no one. No one but her possessor To follow religiously. Daddy says no cell phone- Cut yourself off from everyone But me. Daddy buys her tampons Car insurance Groceries; But not freedom. Miss Independent Will do anything for that Materialistic hot little car. Miss Independent don�t need No man- Miss Independent can hold her own. --or can she? She don�t know The value of the colonial buck. She don�t know Ain�t nothing in this life ain�t free. Miss Independent assumes Miss Money grows on trees! Do you sense the jealousy? But who�s jealous? Both her and me. Miss Independent Smokes with the stars Stays away from the club And kicked out of bars. I can�t afford it! She cries. Ain�t no man gonna own me! Ain�t no man gonna hold me- (But, oh, how I want a man!) I want a man to hold me, mold me, Unfold me. But Miss Independent is Shackled in chains. Be buys her Trashy CDs Vaseline Q-tips Gasoline. But deep inside she cries Set me free! She longs for a life Somewhat like mine. But only if he drives a nice car And keeps her neck frosted. bling Her daddy will sell her To the highest bidder. So she can exchange property Wedding vows. And charge everyone a fee For her misery. Including me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Love/Hate 07/20/03 8:30pm I still think about you And for what? After the hell you made me pay After the nights you made me lose. I think about you all the time I wonder why You made me feel this way. I wonder how You could throw me aside. You�re not deserving of my thoughts But I can�t help but think Of times better than this. Sometimes I want to scream- You stupid bastard! You ruined my life! But I refrain and continue Down my path. It hurts me so bad- I remember it all to vividly. How was I not enough for you? I gave you everything! You crushed me. You don�t deserve anymore from me. But I still think of you. You stupid fucking prick. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 06/11/03 11:18 am Breathe in orange desert air. It comes and goes, comes and goes. Feel the wind in my western hair, Kicking the dust through the desert. Wishing I were there, wishing I were there; Just a cowgirl without a care. But the sun goes down and I think Well damn, I ain�t goin� nowhere. Jack-in-the-Box tacos; trips to Mexico. Dreams are dreamt, but never taken. I steal a moment And I stare into the distance. I want to get drunk off cheap wine! But no, I don�t go, I don�t go. That mountain oasis of Brown, green, orange, rust-sunshine! That�s what I need right now, right now. But sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. You can pick, but you can never choose. Even if it�s the simplicity; Even if it�s something you want so badly. I turn around and think, If I could be there right now In the crash, clang, heat, sweat I would always remember, But never forget. Then maybe, just maybe Since it was yellow, it would make sense. I can feel it, it wants me there To ride the horses with my wild side. There is a side that can�t be tamed; That can never be claimed! A wrestles soul awaits and yearns for Drunken warmth and accomplished dreams That only a red Sedona or palm-tree Phoenix can provide. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 07/14/03 3:05pm In God we trust United we stand Bust out against This whole Taliban. Land of the free Home of the brave Convert to Christianity What soul can we save? Today is the 4th Armies celebrate. Cry out now Can we liberate? From this all out Hypocrisy What we make This democracy Is a living mockery Brothers killing brothers This isn�t soul To me. Yes we be The land of the free Then force oppression On the ones not like we. One word-equality Would bring a little Quality. And never forget We amend for a reason Take away our first We have no expression. But that�s what is done Everyday. Brothers killing brothers Have no hell to pay But if you burn the flag It�s grey, brick, bars While politicians walk Government buyin� cars. And we have forgotten Symbolic speech These American dreams Out of reach. Opinion is nothing With no money at hand. Opportunity is lost If you�re not a white man. Kids sellin� drugs On our Main streets On these freedom freeways With no food to eat. Land of the brave Home of the free. To the five percent Leave something for me Let us be Or just maybe Break out of this Conspiracy. Fear is free Just pay the fee. Nike shoes Can�t win, cant lose Hell, can�t choose Just feel the blues. Run to escape To generate hate. American embassy In the street. Now you see Can�t run from this Federalism And all the �isms Enslaving the community As it goes on And on And on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Break 06/12/03 7:57pm So I�ve been around Had my piece, My cut, my lay, my break; Been broke off a few times, too. Maybe it�s time to settle down But no, maybe I need my rocks From you for a little while. I�ll be good. But while you wait I will devour you Like a fly in my web. So good that you won�t notice When nothing is left. I, too, like to know I can Hate, take, break, feel, live, control- All the things I was told It was okay for them to do But me-never, no! But who says I can�t Make it all come crashing down? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Control 09/16/03 12:00am Unmistakably Embrace me Make me Take me Make me fire Make me burn Take me Make me yours Unfold me Let the truth me told to me Sweat Arms flaring Teeth baring Sharing Unbreakably Pain stakingly Scar me Quench this thirst Fill my desire Teach me want Make me feel Know what�s real See God Fall back down And breathe. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 02/06/04 7:30am I would shower To wash you smell away But I am finding That I don�t care. Sleep is becoming More important than forgetting And I have realized I am too young To feel this way ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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