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Messiah: *slinging a backpack over her shoulder* Alright slaves--er, I mean children. I�ll be back around 2:30 this afternoon. Mess anything up and I will kill the person responsible.
Rufus: *sneers and does that hair flip thing* Relax. We won�t do anything to your precious site.
Messiah: You had better not...
*The faint sounds of an angry person are heard through the portal. Messiah walks up to the portal, takes one last look at her people and enters the portal, closing it. The single word �Behave� echoes with her departure.*
Rufus: *claps his hands together* Alright, bust out the booze and the food. It�s time to party.
*The Turks grab the booze, while AVALANCHE grabs the grub. Sephiroth just sits in his leather armchair watching reruns of Step-by-Step.*
Reno: Hey, Seph, aren�t you going to join the party?
Sephiroth: *points the end of the Masamune at Reno�s throat* Call me �Seph� again and I will slit your throat..
Reno: *feeling suddenly brave* Why shouldn�t I? Messiah calls you it all the time.
Sephiroth: Very well. The day you become as powerful as Messiah, I�ll let you call me by it. And on that very same day, I shall gladly commit sepuku. (Note- Sepuku is ritualistic Japanese suicide used by samurai.) Until then, my empress is my priority.
Elena: You call Messiah an empress?
Sephiroth: So? I decided she was worthy of such a title.
Elena: That�s only because she lets you off of the site, and doesnt let us off.
Reno: *backing away from Sephiroth�s blade* Actually, she did let us off before. Remember her birthday episode? There was a loophole! Hah! I knew it!
Tseng: Sorry, Reno. I asked Messiah and she said it was simply a mistake in her writing. Whatever that means.
*Everyone is silent, pondering those words. Then they see the booze and proceed to get drunk.*
Rufus: *sluring his words from the drunkeness* Ya know what, Reno? I shore like, wasser name... Aeris! Yeah, she shore were pretty, that is, before Sephiroth keeled her. Yep...
Reno: *taking a swig from his beer bottle* Want to know what I hate? The fact that in all those damn stories that fanfic author�s write about me, they always pair me up with Yuffie. What�s that about? First off, she�s a stuck up brat. Then there�s the fact that she�s 16. She�s too young to do any of the stuff I�d like to do to her. She�s jail bait.
Rude: Amen, brother. *clinks beer bottles with Reno* A lot of people pair me with Elena. She�s pretty and all, but just once I�d like to be with Tifa.
Reno: Wow! You�ve spoken more in that last sentance than I�ve ever heard you speak before.
Rude: ..........
Tseng: *punches Rufus* You bastard! I have loved Aeris since she was a small child!
Rufus: *sprawled on the floor now from Tseng�s well placed hit, lifts his head slightly* Wha..? *passes out*
Tseng: Sorry, Mr. President, but it had to be done.
Elena: Oh Tseng, I love it when you�re so forceful. My darling, my love...
Reno: My lunch. *makes gagging sounds*
Tifa: *serves another round to the Turks* Hey, when do you suppose Cloud is going to be back?
*Cloud chooses that moment to walk in. But he�s not alone. He�s with Aeris, chatting it up with her and carrying her flower basket. Tifa�s face goes an inhuman shade of red, the purple, then back to normal. Tifa pulls a fainting act, sending Cloud rushing over to help her.*
Tifa: *flutters her eyelids, signaling that she�s �waking up�* Oh...Cloud. You saved me. My hero.
Cloud: Well, if you�re alright now, I�ll go away.
Tifa: *grabs his arm with sudden force* NO! I mean, I�m not alright. And I need you beside me.
*Barret starts shooting the place up with his gun-arm. Nanaki runs around on a rampage, messing up the walls with his comb. Rufus wakes up and adds his own aditions to the carnage by shooting the walls with his shotgun. Then, from being so drunk, everyone passes out on the floor.*
*Several hours later...*
Messiah: Hello everyone! I�m back!
*Messiah takes one look around at the shambles the lounge is in. Walks over to Sephiroth�s armchair and kicks the remote out of his hand to get his attention.*
Messiah: Who did it?
Sephiroth: You kicked the remote out of my hand. If I was back in my world, I�d kill you where you stand.
Messiah: Well, this isn�t your world, now is it? I am the power here. Who. Did. it.
Sephiroth: ......
Messiah: I�d like you to recall that I grant you immunity against the ones who started it, or all of them. And the little fact that I am your empress. *grins with satisfaction, knowing she has him trapped now*
Sephiroth: .........Rufus.
*Everyone starts to wake up from their passed out states. Messiah walks over to Rufus and starts strangling him.*
Yuffie: What�s happening?
Reno: *realizes he�s on top of Yuffie* Oh no, I hope I didn�t do anything I think I did. OH NO! I�M GOING TO JAIL! I COULDN�T HAVE DONE IT WITH HER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sephiroth: This is a most interesting turn of events. This is more interesting than Jerry Springer. Kill him, Messiah! Kill him now! Mwahahahaha!
Rufus: Ack! *cough, cough* Save me...
Messiah: Alright, I want ALL of you to clean this up. Rufus too, after I�m finished with him. On the double! Except for Sephiroth. *smiles sweetly at him, then turns to Rufus with a glare* DIE!
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Messiah: Rufus was not killed in the making of this Lounge, although he was severely injured and could not talk for a week afterwards. As it turned out, Reno and Yuffie DID NOT do anything together. Reno was thanking the gods for that one, hehe.
Messiah: I DO NOT own Final Fantasy 7 or it�s characters, although I wish I did. Please do not sue me, I�m only a high school sophomore starting today. I don�t have any money.
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