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Info
This is where all Spike quotage can be found. Please note that quotes are organised by season and episode. if you can't find your favorite quote then contact me at Cat.Info
School Hard 2.3
SPIKE: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
SPIKE: So. Who do you kill for fun around here?
SPIKE: Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kittyyy. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in. Are you getting a word picture here?
Collin: You failed.
SPIKE: I, uh... I offer penance.
Lie to me 2.7
SPIKE: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one. (Drusilla cowers and whines) Oh, I'm sorry baby. I'm a bad, rude man. I just don't like you goin' out, that's all. You are weak. Would you like a new bird? One that's not dead?
SPIKE: Do I have anyone on watch here? It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?
What's my line part II 2.10
Willy: (re Angel) What are you gonna do with him anyway?
SPIKE: I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.
SPIKE: From the blood of the sire she is risen. From the blood of the sire, she shall rise again. (stabs knife through Dru & Angel's hands) Right, then! Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, and remove to a low flame.
Innocence 2.14
SPIKE: Yeah. It's interesting to me that 'preparing' looks a great bit like sitting on your ass. When do we destroy the world already?
Judge: My strength grows, and with every life I take it will increase further.
SPIKE: So let's take some. I'm bored.
Passion 2.17
SPIKE: What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer!
I have only for you 2.19
SPIKE: It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us.
Becoming Part II 2.21
SPIKE: I told you. I want to stop Angel. (snickers) I want to save the world.
BUFFY: Okay. You do remember that you're a vampire, right?
SPIKE: We like to talk big. Vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?
BUFFY: That I'm, uh... in a band. A-a rock band with Spike here.
SPIKE: Right. She plays the, the triangle.
BUFFY: Drums.
SPIKE: Drums, yeah. She's, uh, hell on the old skins, you know.
JOYCE: (unconvinced) Hmm. And, uh, what do you do?
SPIKE: Well, I sing.
JOYCE: Have we met?
SPIKE: Um... you hit me with an ax one time. Remember? (makes an ax-holding gesture) Uh, 'get the hell away from my daughter.'
SPIKE: (surprised) Dru bagged a Slayer? She didn't tell me! (to Joyce, smiling) Hey, good for her! (gets a look from Buffy and loses the smile) Though not from your perspective, I suppose.
Lover's Walk 3.8
SPIKE: Drusilla! I'm home! Why did you do it, baby? Why did you leave me? We were happy here. YOU... (swings the candlestick) STUPID... (swings again) WORTHLESS... (swings again) BITCH! (calms a bit) Look what you've done to me.
SPIKE: (slurred) Yeah, you. You think I'm afraid of you? We were happy! You brainwashed her. I could just...(drinks) Yeah, I'll show *you* who's a cool guy. (starts to leave) You're goin' down.
(he passes out)
SPIKE: A curse! Y'know, something nasty. Boils. I wanna give him boils all over his face. You know, dripping pustules. Let's really go for the gusto here.
Shopkeeper: I'm hearing a lot of negative energy, and I bet...
SPIKE: (interrupts) Leprosy! Alright, a spell that makes his parts fall off. That sounds proper.
SPIKE: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?
SPIKE: (interrupts) No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. (calms down) You got any of those little marshmallows?
SPIKE: Oh... My head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Oh, God. I wish I was dead.
SPIKE: You're *not* friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. (points at his temple) Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... (clasps his chest) blood screaming inside you to work its will. *I* may be love's bitch, but at least *I'm* man enough to admit it.
SPIKE: Now, that was fun. (smiling) Oh, don't *tell* me that wasn't fun. (chuckles) Oh, God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence. (stops and considers) Really puts things in perspective.
SPIKE: Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are at the factory. (smiling) I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, (stands proud) the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. (goes to leave) Love's a funny thing.
SPIKE: (imitating Rachel) How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing? (imitating Angel) No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I�m just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth.
(Rachel steps closer to Angel, and Angel steps back, warding her off with his hands)
SPIKE: No, not the hair! Never the hair! (high voice) But there must be someway I can show my appreciation. (low voice) No, helping those in need�s my job, and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough! (high voice) I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so... (low voice) Say no more. Evil�s still afoot! And I�m almost out of that Nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away!
SPIKE: Go on with you. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way. The ring of Amara, a visit from your old pal Spike
SPIKE: Marcus is an expert. Some say artist, but I�ve never been comfortable with labels. He�s a bloody king of torture, he is. Humans, demons, politicians, makes no difference. Some say he invented several of the classics, but he won�t tell me which ones. Beneath the cool exterior, you�ll find he�s rather shy. Except with kids. (To Marcus) You like kids, don�t you Marcus? Well, likes to eat... (He leans in close to Angel) and other nasty things.
(Marcus rips Angel�s shirt open and stares at his chest.)
MARCUS: His skin...
SPIKE: Annoying, isn�t it? Still attached.
SPIKE: Right, vampire with a soul. Cursey-cursed to walk the earth trying to do good. That�s not going to be a problem, is it?
SPIKE: Yeah? Personally I prefer his older, funnier symphonies myself. LOOK I WANT MY RING! If I don�t get it pretty soon, I�m going to stake me old sire right here and now!
DOYLE: Where�s Angel?
SPIKE: Um...tall brooding guy, caveman brow? He�s having the living hell tortured out of him. And you know how stubborn he can be, he might die before he gives up the ring.
SPIKE: Son of a *bitch*! I do the work, I do the digging, fight off a Slayer, *drive* to LA, hire the help, and what do I get? *royally screwed*, is what! Well, that cinches it. No more partners. From now on, I�m my own man. A lone wolf. Sole survivor. Look out, here comes Spike! The biggest, baddest, mother...
(A beam of sunlight from one of the bullet holes hits the back of his head and his hair ignites. He ducks and puts his hair out with his hands)
SPIKE: I really hope they kill each other.
Harmony:You love that tunnel more than me.
SPIKE: I love syphilis more than you.
SPIKE: Birds singing, squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels. Sun beaming down in a nice, non-fatal way. It's very exciting, I can't wait to see if I freckle.Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way.The gem of amara.Official sponsor, of my killing you.
Iniative 4.7
SPIKE: And, uh, they are? The government? Nazis? A major cosmetics company?
SPIKE: She set me up, too. I always worried what would happen When that bitch got some funding. She's wised up a bit. Fine! I'll take her apart. I don't care how brilliant she is.
SPIKE: Oh, never, my little foam latte. Your blondie bear is here to stay.
Pangs 4.8
SPIKE: I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people.
SPIKE: I came to you in friendship. (Buffy gives him a look.) Well, all right, seething hatred, but I've got useful information, and I feel I'm being mistreated.
SPIKE: You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.
SPIKE: Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny.
SPIKE: (Riddled with arrows.) Remember that conquering nation thing? Forget it. Apologize.
BUFFY: Shut up, Spike.
SPIKE: Fine, I'll do it myself. Hey, sorry. Sorry about that, chief.
BUFFY: A bear!
SPIKE: You made a bear!
BUFFY: I didn't mean to.
SPIKE: Undo it! Undo it!
SPIKE: What happened? Did we win?
Something Blue 4.9
SPIKE: I don't know why you're so dainty all of a sudden. You've done this for Angel - you must have.
(Buffy pulls the mug away, leaving Spike with the straw dangling from between his lips)
SPIKE: Hey! Give it!
SPIKE: (v.o.) "Passions" is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll-
GILES: (Yells to Spike) You'll do what? Lick me to death?
BUFFY: Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? �Cause, either way, it's gonna look majorly weird.
SPIKE: Where as the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance.
SPIKE: Don't I get a cookie?
BUFFY: No.
SPIKE: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
BUFFY: You're a pig, Spike.
SPIKE: Yeah.. well I'm not the one who wanted, "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance.
Hush 4.10
SPIKE: Don't see why I have to be tied up.
XANDER: It's just while I'm sleeping.
SPIKE: Like I'd bite you anyway.
XANDER: Oh you would.
SPIKE: Not bloody likely.
XANDER: I happen to be very biteable pal. I'm moist and delicious.
SPIKE: Alright, yeah fine you're a nummy treat.
XANDER: And don't you forget it.
Doomed 4.11
SPIKE: What�s this? Sitting around watching the telly while there�s evil still a foot. That�s not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can�t go without your Buffy, is that it? To chicken? Let�s find her! She is the Chosen One after all. - Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let�s annihilate them. For justice - and for - the safety of puppies - and Christmas, right? Let�s *fight* that evil! - Let�s *kill* something! Oh, come *on*!