Making a Princess- Page 5


Part 24


�So all this started because Spike wanted a new �princess� to replace Drusilla?� Cordelia asked somewhat shocked.


�Well, yeah. I guess so,� Willow replied, somewhat amazed herself at the snowball effect that one decision had had on the world around her.


�And he chose you?�


�Yes he chose me,� the redhead said somewhat hotly, �Why shouldn�t he choose me?�


�Well, no offence, Willow, really, but you were just some nerdy friend of the slayer. You weren�t on cheer squad or anything cool like that.�


�Well maybe Spike didn�t want to spend eternity with a brainless whore like you, Cordy,� Willow smiled as she said it, but it wasn�t so much pleasant as it was a barring of teeth.


�Meow! Down kitty. I�m just saying that, considering he went out with Harmony after you got locked up in the loony bin, I�m just a little surprised that he had such a thing for you. I mean, I always just figured he took you to upset Buffy.�


�Harmony?� Willow asked weakly, feeling suddenly ill, �Umm, Cordelia, let�s talk about something else, okay?�


As usual, Cordelia knew she had said something to upset her hacker friend, but having never learned the art of being tactful; she wasn�t exactly sure what it was. So she simply nodded and tried to come up with something else to talk about while she waited for the sun to go down. The seer fledgling had only been newly dead for a few days and was still getting the hang of things. She kept waking well before sunset, leaving Willow to entertain her until it was dark enough for her to go out and hunt.


At first Willow had strongly objected to the idea of turning the ex-cheerleader. In her mind, making Cordelia of all people a demon would be like evil overkill. But Angelus was determined in his decision. He pointed out that having a direct line to the �powers that be,� could come in handy later on. Willow still wasn�t convinced. This girl had tortured her, her entire childhood. In her mind making Cordelia immortal was a reward, not a punishment. However, when Angelus pointed out that the seer would have to go the rest of eternity without a reflection, Willow�s mood brightened and she agreed.


It was petty of her, but Willow already took pleasure in �helping� Cordelia get ready to go out at night, doing her hair in unflattering do�s, and applying enough make up on her to make her look more like a clown than a woman. The first night she had done it, it took all of Angelus� self control not to burst out laughing, while Drusilla pouted because Willow never painted her up like a dolly the way she did Cordelia. Willow had just smiled at her deranged friend, and conjured her some magical rainbow colored fish that swam around the vampire�s head for the better part of an hour making her squeal with delight.


So now, here they were, getting ready for another night out. This time it was to be just the two of them. Angelus had spent the last three nights training his new childe, and Drusilla was beside herself with sibling rivalry. So Willow had offered to take Cordelia out for the night so Angelus and Drusilla could have a little quality time. At first Cordy was angry. She didn�t understand why Drusilla should get special treatment just because she was so old. After all, Angelus was her daddy too, right? But soon she became excited at the prospect of a girl�s night out. Angelus could be so strict that she was looking forward to cutting loose a bit.


�Oh, I know where we can go tonight,� Cordelia said suddenly with enthusiasm, �We can go to this demon bar I know called Caritas. It�s really cool!�


�But I�m not a demon,� Willow said, unsure if a demon bar was the place for her.


�Well, not yet. But that�s okay, humans go there too.�


�Okay, I guess.�


Willow let the �not yet� comment slide, not wanting to discuss Angelus� plans for turning her. He had been pressing the issue quite a bit lately, finding every possible opportunity to nuzzle her neck, like a cat marking her with his scent. He had also insisted she watch the turning process with Cordelia, with the excuse that it would be educational, of course. However, what he really wanted to show her was how pleasant an experience it could be, seducing the cheerleader so completely that in the end she gave herself over to him willingly. Willow had watched the display with interest, and had to admit that she found it quite arousing, but that was beside the point. She cared for Angelus, but she did not love him, and never would. She had made that mistake once, but she was a quick learner and was determined not to repeat this error. And without love, what was the point of living forever?


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Spike wobbled unsteadily on his barstool, nursing a strong drink, while Willy eyed him warily. The blonde vampire had been in every night that week, each night getting more drunk than the last, which Willy hadn�t thought possible given that each night he drank continuously. Eventually it became evident that the heartbroken demon was consuming alcohol and nothing else. Willy knew vampires couldn�t technically starve to death, but he had heard once that a vamp that goes too long without blood could suffer brain damage, and from the looks of it, that was what Spike was trying for.


�Shwilly�gimme�s�more,� Spike slurred heavily, holding on to the bar with some effort to keep from falling on his ass.


�Tell ya what, Spike, how�s about a nice bloody mary, heavy on the blood?�


�No. Want wishkey,� he said like a defiant child, slamming his empty glass on the bar, sending him toppling back and off his stool.


Willy watched him go down like a ton of bricks, not really sure if the fall had knocked him out or if he had already passed out and that was why he fell in the first place. The little man sighed heavily, grabbing him by the legs and pulled him into the back room. It was nearly closing time anyway. He shooed away a trio of Glasnost demons, and closed up for the night. Then he headed back to the storeroom and popped open a blood bag. He sat the unconscious vamp up a bit, and began pouring the blood in his mouth.


Spike�s starved body reacted immediately, gulping down the blood convulsively. He had emptied six packets before he settled into a somewhat restful slumber. Willy covered him with an old tarp and made sure the window was totally covered before going home for the night. He didn�t know what had happened to set the vamp off on such a bender, but whatever it was it must have been bad. He wasn�t sure why exactly he was helping him; after all, he had nothing to gain from it. Still, he just couldn�t stand to see anyone suffering that much. And here the slayer was always saying that Willy the snitch didn�t have a heart.


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�A demon karaoke bar? You�ve got to be kidding me, right?� Willow asked in amazement as they entered Caritas, and were greeted by the sight of a pair of orange skinned demons sporting bunny like ears, singing their own rendition of �Blowin� in the Wind.�


�Yeah, it�s great, huh?� Cordelia replied enthusiastically, enjoying the look of shock on Willow�s face. �Come on, I think I see a free table.�


Cordelia grabbed Willow by the arm and began swerving in and out of the packed tables, making their way toward a spot that had recently been vacated. Lorne had been watching the pair on stage, trying not to cringe as they slaughtered a perfectly good song, when he caught sight of the ex-cheerleader out of the corner of his eye. Immediately he began making his way over to her and her cute little friend to say hello. However, as the green empath demon drew nearer, he couldn�t help but notice that something about the seer was definitely different.


�Cordy�umm�lovin� the new look, cupcake,� Lorne managed to get out finally, taking in the girl�s neon blue eye shadow and bright red lips and cheeks, not to mention her hair that seemed to defy gravity, sticking up at odd angles all over her head.


�Thank you, Willow says it�s the latest rage in Paris,� Cordelia beamed back.


The green demon glanced at the devastating redhead who was barely able to hide her smirk at Cordelia�s words. �Well,� he thought, �she managed to pull one over on Cordy. Not bad.� Lorne moved closer then to give his friend a hug, but stiffened when she embraced him and her aura collided with his. Vampire!


�Well, you�re just full of surprises tonight, sugar,� he said sadly, pulling away from her. �How long have you been dead?�


�See, Willow, I told you he was smart. I�ve been a vamp for a few days now, and it�s sooo great, what with the power and the living forever. But I gotta say I�ve been missing my mirror time. If it wasn�t for Will here helping me out with my hair and my make up, I don�t know what I�d do.�


Lorne glanced again at the redhead, no longer sure what to make of her. She seemed human enough, but sometimes it was hard to tell. One thing was for sure, she was either very powerful, or just had some serious guts, palling around with a fledgling vamp, who were prone to attacking anything that moved, and to then go a step further and publicly humiliate her. Willow, it seemed that name was familiar to him somehow, but he couldn�t quite place it at the moment. Turning back to Cordelia, he felt the sadness in his heart again. She was so young to have died like this. It really was a waste.


�So tell me, kitten, does Angel know yet?�


�Of course he does, silly! Who do you think turned me?�


The shock on Lorne�s face was obvious, his hand reaching out to grab a chair for support. Willow moved beside him quickly, shooting Cordelia a glance that clearly said for her to keep her mouth shut. The redhead reached out to help the host into the free chair, and asked Cordy to go to the bar and fetch them some drinks. When they were alone, she looked at the green demon a little more closely. Cordelia had told her all about him and his ability to set people on the right path. It was an impressive gift. `


�Are you all right?� she asked evenly.


�No, not really. I find out one friend is dead, another has gone evil, and my sea breeze is all gone to-boot,� he said, looking down at his empty glass.


Willow slumped down into the chair next to him, wanting to offer him some words of comfort, and coming up empty. It was always hard losing people you care about, but this time she had been directly responsible for somebody else�s loss. She hadn�t thought much about how her actions would affect innocent bystanders. She didn�t know this guy but she still felt guilty for hurting him. Finally she gave up trying to find some truth or wisdom over all that had happened, and simply lay her pale hand lightly over his green one, looked into his eyes, and said the only thing she could.


�I�m sorry,� and what�s more, she meant it.


The sincerity of this act took Lorne back a moment. He could tell from her brief touch that she was in fact human, and definitely powerful, but not evil. He smiled at her weakly, letting her know he appreciated the gesture. He then moved to get up, but just as he did a sea breeze appeared on the table before him. He glanced up to see Cordelia had returned with drinks, and this time he was the one having trouble not laughing at her appearance. He relaxed in his seat again, and to his surprise, soon found himself engrossed in conversation with the witch and the vampire.


The green demon felt an instant rapport with Willow, enjoying her quick wit and obvious intelligence. She regaled him with tales of her travels overseas, often sticking to the adventures of her and Drusilla once she noticed how uncomfortable he was whenever she mentioned Angelus. Several drinks later they were all laughing and joking like old friends.


�I gotta say sweetness, that you are something of a surprise,� Lorne addressed Willow with a grin, �Most humans don�t usually get along so well with vampires.�


�Oh, well that�s Willow for you, straight out of the hellmouth,� Cordelia said, somewhat tipsy. �She�s like some kind of catnip for vamps, you know? I mean, I love her, Drusilla loves her, even Angelus wants her for a mate, and well Spike, Spike loved her so much, he kidnapped her twice!�


Willow flinched noticeably at Spike�s name, and the hurt in her eyes was an almost tangible thing. Lorne decided to steer the discussion away from something so painful for the sweet little redhead, and instead take it where he had wanted it to go all night.


�So, Willow, how�s about singing a little song for your new favorite demon?� Lorne asked, trying to keep his voice casual.


�What, you mean on stage? Where people can actually see me and hear me? No way!�


�Oh come on,� Cordelia prompted, �After everything you�ve done, surely by now you�ve got a little backbone.�


It was a challenge, and Willow felt obliged to rise to the occasion and prove to Cordelia that she was no longer the scared little geek she had been in high school. The redhead approached the stage, picked out her song, and stood at the mic to sing, trying to fight down the urge to throw up. She closed her eyes and focused on the intro music, before timidly beginning to sing. Soon she was lost in the flood of emotions that were pouring out of her as the words poured out of her mouth.


��Once upon a time I was falling in love,

But now I�m only falling apart,

Nothing I can do,

A total eclipse of the heart.


Once upon a time there was light in my life,

But now there�s only love in the dark,

Nothing I can say,

A total eclipse of the heart��

Willow belted out the Bonnie Tyler song with such a force of emotion, that several of the audience felt their breath catch in their throats, they were so moved. When it was over there was a standing ovation for the girl and cries for an encore. The redhead�s eyes snapped open in surprise. She had been so caught up in the music that she had forgotten all about the audience. Her face flushed a deep red as she stumbled from the stage with her hands in front of her face, trying to cover her embarrassment. Lorne quickly hopped up on the stage to try to settle the crowd a bit, as he discreetly wiped tears from his eyes. He called for the next singer to come on stage, and felt a bit sorry for the short, frog looking demon who was going to have to follow such a powerful act. The crowd was going to eat him alive, although not literally thanks to the sanctuary spell. Thank god for small favors, right?


Lorne quickly caught up with Willow, who had headed straight for the bar and another drink. His head was still swimming with all he had seen while she was singing. He had seen her past, all she had endured, and all she had done. He couldn�t agree with some of her actions, but he could definitely understand them. Now, the only question was whether he could put her back on the right path before anyone else got hurt, including Willow. Lorne somehow doubted it, but he had to at least try.


�We need to talk, puddin�,� he said softly in her ear, before instructing the bartender to keep an eye on Cordelia, and steering Willow to a more private booth he normally used for consultations. After they both were seated, he stared at her intently for a couple minutes, trying to think where to begin. When he saw the girl before him start to look uncomfortable, he decided to just jump right in, and see where they ended up.


�Let me first say that you were simply fabulous, and if you ever decide you want to get into the biz, just let me know. I can hook you up with some good people.�


Willow nodded slightly, and gave him a weak smile at the obvious compliment. It normally would have made her feel fantastic to hear such praise, but she knew Lorne had been reading her while she was singing, and knew also that he had learned more about her in just a few minutes than most people had in her entire life. Somehow, she doubted he would have anything good to say about what he had discovered.


�I�m not sure what to say to you, sweetness. Normally with this gig, the path seems clear, and my job is easy. But you�ve had some major bumps on your road, as you already know. Heck, you set Angelus loose, not to mention the torturing and killing people. These were not the best decisions you could have made,� Lorne paused for a moment, expecting her to protest, or at the very least to try to explain away her decisions, but she didn�t. She simply looked at him, her face blank, but her eyes swimming with emotion.


�Look, I�m not trying to judge you. I don�t have to agree with what you�ve done to understand it, but the path you�re on now is going to get you killed.�


He tried to let this sink in for a moment, watching for her reaction, but there was none.


�And your point is?� Willow asked finally, her tone a bit cold.


Lorne was a little taken aback by her casual response over her own untimely demise. It was clear to him now that some part of Willow wanted to die, but he was determined to change her mind.


�The point is, cupcake, you have people who love you, and need you.�


�You don�t know what you�re talking about. I have monsters in my life that either want to possess me or have tea parties with me. They don�t love me, they don�t even know what love is, and neither do I for that matter.�


�I�d say that your son, William, would disagree with you there,� he came back, watching with a bit of fear as Willow�s eyes flashed black with hurt and rage at the mention of her son.


�You would be wise to never mention that name to me again. I did what I had to. It was necessity, not love. I failed him as a mother.�


�On the contrary, muffin, only true love could be so self sacrificing. I know a lot of horrible things have happened in the past, but now is the time for you to move on and heal yourself,� he tried putting a comforting hand over hers, but she jerked back like she had been burned. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She couldn�t listen to anymore of this.


�I�ve got to go. Angelus will be mad if we�re not back soon,� Willow said with a small sob. Seeing his chance slip away, Lorne redoubled his efforts.


�Willow, pumpkin, you need to forgive the people who have hurt you, and most of all you need to forgive yourself.�


She stood, giving him a small chuckle and a hard stare. Forgiveness was not a word that existed in her world. The redhead turned away from the green demon, and waved her hand to get Cordelia�s attention. It was later than she thought, and Angelus� new child was clearly hammered. �Oh, yeah,� she thought, �Angelus is going to be pissed.� She started heading toward the door, motioning for Cordelia to do the same, when she heard Lorne�s voice call over the crowd after her.


�It�s time to go home Willow. He�s waiting for you there.�


She didn�t bother to turn around. She just kept walking toward the exit, trying not to think about his last words.


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Part 25


From the moment they had left the club, Willow could do nothing but think about what Lorne had said to her. Even Angelus� angry tirade over their coming home late and drunk hadn�t distracted her from thoughts of home and who was waiting for her there. Her lack of concern over Angelus� temper tantrum only enraged him further, and he took great pleasure in belting her across the lobby.


After a few moments of lying very still, watching the world spin, Willow felt her head tenderly where it had connected with the counter. She didn�t think anything was broken, touching her jaw next, but she probably would have a concussion. Angelus hadn�t hit her in months, and had completely caught her off guard. She opened her mouth to cast a spell that would turn him into something cute and fluffy for awhile, but found her jaw hurt bad enough that talking wasn�t such a good idea. So instead she just sat, half sprawled on the floor, giving him a dirty look.


Angelus hadn�t meant to lose it and hit her like that, but the pair had been gone so long that he had started to worry. Then when they finally came in, drunk, and reeking of other demons, he just lost it. Whether she would admit it or not, Willow belonged to him. He couldn�t stomach the thought of her being with someone else. However, when his little witch opened her mouth to cast a spell at him, he realized the full magnitude of what he had done. They had had an unspoken agreement that all violence between them was to be kept to the bedroom. He had broken that agreement, and there was no telling what she might do in retaliation. He at least had the good grace to look sorry for what he had done, but there was no way he was going to apologize in front of his childer. If it was just Drusilla, maybe, but not Cordelia. He didn�t want the fledgling getting any ideas. When it looked like Willow was going to hold off on the retaliation, he turned to face Cordy, who flinched visibly.


�Cordelia, go upstairs and strip. Drusilla will begin your punishment and I will be up in a minute,� Angelus said firmly.


�Oh, goody!� Drusilla squealed, and clapped her hands with glee, �Come along, dolly, Daddy wants to be alone with the little tree.�


�No way! I�m not going anywhere with that crazy bitch!� Cordelia protested.


But another carefully aimed backhand changed her mind, and soon the pair was up the stairs and out of sight. Angelus bent carefully over the redhead, a bit scared of retaliation still, but wanting to be sure she was okay. He checked her head carefully, and then went to fetch her an ice pack. When he returned, Willow was sitting up a little better, and had begun chanting a healing spell. At first the dark vampire thought she was going to curse him after all, but then he heard the familiar words, and simply sat on the couch to wait patiently for her to finish. He had heard Willow do this spell a thousand times, usually after sex, and knew it wouldn�t take long. When she was done, her head felt much better, as did her jaw, but she was going to have one hell of a bruise across her face for a few days.


�I�m sorry Willow,� Angelus apologized softly.


�Whatever. I�m tired. I�m going to bed,� she replied without looking at him.


�I said I was sorry, what do you want from me? I am a demon for fuck�s sake, you know, evil? I lost my temper. Just tell me how I can make it up to you?� he asked, feeling a bit desperate.


�Why do you care if I forgive you?�


�You know why,� he said, moving to stand in front of her.


�I know you think you feel something strong for me, Angelus, but it�s not love.�


�Maybe, maybe not. But I do care, and I do want you for my mate.�


�And I already told you no,� she said, feeling very tired now, and not wanting to have this conversation again.


�I could just force you.�


�You could try, but even if you succeeded, I would just stake myself.�


�Damn it, woman! Why do you have to be so difficult!?�


�Because if I was easy, you wouldn�t want me in the first place.�


�You were willing enough when Spike wanted to turn you,� Angelus practically spat out.


�That was different. I thought I was in love. I�m not that naive girl anymore. Now, goodnight.�


Before he had the chance for rebuttal, she was gone up the stairs. Angelus stared after her for a moment, swearing under his breath before heading up to his own room to punish his new childe.


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Willow lay in her bed, tossing and turning. She was completely exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to simply pass out, but her thoughts kept flowing back to him, and she just couldn�t help but wonder what he was thinking at that very moment. She had worked very hard at controlling her thoughts of the blonde vampire, but sometimes her concentration slipped.


Finally her curiosity got the better of her, and she sat up straighter in her bed to cast the simple spell that would allow her to get a sense of what was running through his head at that moment. Willow focused her mind on her old lover, pushing a modicum of energy out toward him as she quietly chanted her spell, and waited for a response. Nothing came. For a moment she began to panic, fearing something had happened to him. They had always had a strong bond from sharing so much blood with each other, and it had taken a great deal of time for her to learn how to close him off from herself. It got easier over time, and distance seemed to help as well. But now, being practically next door to Sunnydale, and concentrating her energy on him, she should have felt something. Again she sent her energy out, more forcefully this time, demanding a response, and she finally got one. He was alive.


Willow let out a breath she hadn�t realized she was holding. He was alive, or well, undead anyway. But she still couldn�t get a sense of him. Perhaps she was simply too emotional at the moment to focus clearly or maybe he had learned to block her out just as she had him. This last thought made her chest tight just thinking about it. It was stupid, she knew. After all, why wouldn�t he have moved on? He had never come looking for her. Maybe Cordelia was right, all that time he was just trying to upset Buffy. Hell, after her he had gone on to date Harmony. Harmony for fuck�s sake! If ever there was a girl who was the complete opposite of Willow, it was Harmony. That must be why she couldn�t connect with him. He had moved on and blocked her out of his life.


Trying to fight back her tears, she curled onto her side, feeling very pathetic indeed. Suddenly she wished she had Miss Edith there to cuddle up with. As Willow drifted off to sleep, she felt very small, very helpless, and completely alone.


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Willow felt herself falling. She seemed to be slipping in and out of her past. Images spilled around her of times spent at Marion. She could feel the restraints binding her to the bed once again as a large needle was shoved into her arm. And then it was past and she was back in Vienna in the dirty little alley where she had killed a woman, snapped her neck after watching Angelus kill the woman�s child. It was the first time she had truly felt like a monster, but it wouldn�t be her last. Then her surroundings swirled again and she found herself in a place she did not recognize.


Everything was so bright, and there were clusters of people moving around in lab coats. Willow tried to move and found she was strapped down to a gurney. Glancing around she saw a green demon with long horns strapped down to a similar gurney nearby. She didn�t know what was happening, but panic filled her when she saw a woman with short blonde hair standing over her with a bone saw. She struggled as two of the men in lab coats strapped her head down. She felt the pain of the saw starting to cut into her head, and screamed. Then, it was all gone in a swirl of color.


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Spike�s head swam with images of the past few years. Mostly they were moments of humiliation. Learning to live with the chip, having to rely on the Scoobies. He had never felt so helpless and lost. All he had wanted was to come back to Sunnydale and find Willow. He figured if he tortured enough of her friends, some useful bit of information was bound to come up, but then the initiative had put that bloody buggery chip in his head. His eyes were filled with images of wandering the streets, hungry, confused, and afraid.


Then his mind was filled with another image, the slayer. Her head thrown back in ecstasy as she writhed on top of him. She was using him, but he didn�t care. Despite what rose tinted lies he told himself about loving her, he knew their time together was nothing more than an exercise in self hatred for both of them. Buffy was everything that Willow was not, selfish, petty, and cruel. He deserved the way she treated him, deserved it for letting Willow slip away.


Suddenly the image of the slayer grew fuzzy and was replaced by a sweaty man, pounding away inside of him. The sensation was confusing, and terrifying. He was being raped by some unknown man. The sour smell of his flesh made Spike want to gag as he felt the man coming inside of him.


�Boy, you redheads sure know how to fuck,� the man said as he leaned down to plant a kiss on Spike�s forehead.


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The images of horror flowed back and forth between the vampire and the witch. Spike being beaten unconscious by Buffy, Willow killing Dr. Scholten, Glory torturing Spike for hours on end, Willow being beaten and raped by Angelus. Each memory struck like a fresh experience, allowing the both of them to fully embrace the trauma of the various situations. Then the images flashed to the moment when Willow had been told her son was dead.


The pain flooding Spike and Willow�s bodies over the loss of the child was beyond comprehension. And just when it began to pass, the scene shifted to the night in France, when Willow had to say goodbye to the boy once again, this time for good. For Willow the pain was still fresh, raw, but familiar. Even though it felt like she could very well die from the emptiness in her heart, she knew somewhere inside that she would survive. However, for Spike the pain was new, and as real as if it was his own.


His mind felt like it would break, so overwhelming was the anguish inside of him. Part of it was the memory of the heartache Willow had felt, and part of it was new pain, knowing the woman he loved had suffered so much because of his failure. Spike felt as if he were being ripped apart inside, trying to claw himself away from the combined memories, but all the while only submerging himself deeper in them.


For Willow the trip through her past was heartrending, especially the parts with her child, but there was the added pain of Spike�s memories, his humiliation, his fear. She had thought he was off having a wonderful time while she was living in hell, but the truth was he had been in a hell of his own. He hadn�t abandoned her. She knew that now.


Willow reached out to Spike�s mind, wanting to share something, anything besides the torment they both had just experienced. But again she couldn�t reach him. She sensed his mind but it was trapped now by the images of horror. Willow could feel him falling into a pit of despair. Her body flooded with panic, she knew that if she couldn�t pull him out of the memory flood, he would lose himself forever.


She pushed harder against the barrier between their minds and felt it finally give. She was once again standing in the alley behind the strip clubs in Council Bluffs, watching Spike stab John over and over, before slicing his face to ribbons. She hated this memory more than almost any other. She hated it because she had enjoyed killing this man, butchering him, and that made her a monster. But as she stood there watching Spike act out her evil deed, she only felt pity. Pity for Spike, forced to live out her traumas, and pity for herself for letting anyone drive her to such rage and desperation. This wasn�t who she was, not really.


She walked over to Spike and touched him on the arm gently. The blonde vampire spun around, the knife still clutched tightly in his hand, and blood covering his body. His eyes were too wide, as if he was in shock. There were tears running down his cheeks as he stared at her, his mouth hanging open.


�I�I killed him,� Spike said in a strained voice that seemed to echo in the emptiness surrounding them.


�No, Spike, �you� didn�t. I did,� Willow said in a comforting tone, reaching up to stroke his cheek softly.


The vampire blinked several times, his eyes finally focusing on the redhead before him as if a veil had suddenly been lifted. He let out a soft gasp, and reached out to grab her, pulling her tightly into his arms, and sobbing uncontrollably. Willow stroked his hair and whispered soothing words into his ear as he cried, her own tears joining his.


�Oh god Willow, I thought I had lost you forever,� he said, voice cracking with emotion, �I�m so sorry, so sorry, so sorry��


Willow turned his face towards her own, brushing a soft kiss across his lips to quiet him. The kiss deepened, their mouths exploring, gently but firmly reacquainting themselves with each other. Willow�s eyes closed, allowing her body to simply feel the closeness of his body; the body she had been missing for so long. But Spike�s eyes remained open, unwilling to let her out of his sight for fear that she would simply disappear. His gaze was filled with pale skin, and a fuzz of fiery hair, too close to focus on, as the world around them shifted again and they were transported back to their house in Salem.


This time, however, they were not forced to relive old memories. It was just the two of them together in the place that had been their home. Spike slid his mouth away from hers, slowly working his way down her chin to her throat. His tongue darted out, trailing its cool wetness along the scar on her neck where he had marked her twice before. The sensation sent shivers down her spine. She was his, she belonged to him.


Willow grabbed at the hem of his black T-shirt, pulling it out of his pants and over his head, as the blonde vamp began pulling at the ties on her halter top. What had started out as gentle quickly became desperate as both of them were driven by the need to feel naked flesh against their own. They had been separated for far too long, and couldn�t stand to let it go on for another minute.


Having quickly shirked the rest of their clothing, Spike fell back on their bed, pulling Willow down on top of him. It was almost as if the pair were trying to devour each other. Lips, hungry, caressed across Willow�s hot flesh, as she pulled Spike�s hand up, sucking two of his fingers into her mouth, needing to taste him. Foreplay was too torturous. The redhead grabbed Spike by the hair, halting his exploration of her body, and pulling his mouth back to hers. The need in her eyes was screaming at him.


He had thought of this moment countless times, he wanted to take his time. He wanted to caress, taste, fondle every part of her, missing nothing. But now that the time had come, he knew the gentle lovemaking would have to wait. The demon in him needed to reclaim her, and what�s more, she needed to feel his claim again as well.


Spike pushed her legs apart and guided his hard length into her, listening to Willow hiss with pleasure at the familiar sensation. He began a steady if not somewhat frantic pace. He was overwhelmed by her heat, lost in her scent. This was what he had been waiting for, for so long. He was complete, fulfilled by her touch, alive while he was inside of her.


There was no control left in either of them as Willow began bucking her hips up to meet him, driving him impossibly deep within her. She wanted to pull his body all the way into her, swallow him whole so that he could never leave her again. She felt hot tears rolling down her face as she began to reach the high point.


Spike drove into her with wild abandon, the whole time keeping his eyes fixed on her face. Her hair was spread across the pillow like ruby flames, her lips swollen from his kisses were slightly parted and emitting a low moaning sound. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were heavy lidded with passion. He wanted to burn the image of her into his mind so that she was never lost to him again. He felt her stomach muscles start to bunch slightly beneath him, and knew she was close.


She hit the precipice hard, as an ocean of pleasure rolled over her body, tearing a scream from her throat. Willow again grabbed Spike roughly by the hair, this time pulling his head down to her throat, inviting him to drink, as her muscles convulsed around his cock.


He had never dreamed he would be able to taste her again, and as her sweet blood filled his mouth, cool tears of love and gratitude ran down his cheeks. His release rocked his body into hers with a jerky motion, overwhelming him with the force of it as she milked his seed from him.


For several long moments they lay, unmoving, Spike softly lapping up the last traces of her blood. Then, slowly, he raised himself up to look at her once again.


�Willow, I�� before Spike could finish, the world began to swirl around them, and the redhead faded before his eyes.


�Willow! Noooo!� he screamed, but it was too late, she was gone.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Part 26


Willow woke with a start at a sound in her room. She looked around frantically for Spike, but found only Drusilla.


�Noooo!� she cried out in anguish when she realized it had been a dream.


Drusilla immediately moved over to the bed to comfort her friend, pulling her sobbing form into her arms and rocking her gently. They stayed like that for some time, until Willow was finally all cried out. The deranged vampire turned Willow�s face toward her own and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.


�You were dreaming about your daddy, Spike,� it wasn�t a question.


�How did you know?� Willow asked in confusion.


�The stars told me silly,� Drusilla replied as if the question had been completely ridiculous.


�But Dru, it�s daylight, the stars aren�t out.�


�Little tree, when will you learn that just because the stars aren�t where I can see them, doesn�t mean they don�t still speak to me. Just like you and my Spike don�t need to see each other to speak to each other.�


�What should I do?� the redhead asked softly.


�You must go home, but then you already knew that, poppet.�


�How can I? Angelus will kill him if I do.�


�Yes, my daddy will be very cross with both of you, but Spike is still his childe. I do not think he will kill him.�


�That�s not terribly reassuring.�


�Well, poppet, Miss Edith and I can only slow him down a little, but in the end he will find you. Daddy does not like to share, especially with Spike, but maybe you could change his mind, then we could be one big happy family again!�


Willow thought that scenario was unlikely at best, but didn�t really know what else she could do. The dream had begun to fade already, until all that she could remember was the pain of Spike�s suffering, the humiliation, but also that he still loved her. She had to go home, Drusilla was right.


�I�m going to need some time. Is there anyway you can distract Angelus for a while?�


�Oooh yes! I can tie him up! It will be so much fun!� Drusilla squealed with glee, clapping her hands together.


�Dru, honey, I�m going to need a bit more time than that. A few days at least.�


�I can tie him up for that long,� Drusilla assured her hopefully, but Willow could only imagine the punishment the crazy vampire would have to endure for such an act.


�Tell you what, why don�t I just have a little talk with him,� Willow said, pulling herself out of her bed, and reaching out to take Drusilla�s hand.


The pair of them padded down the hall on naked feet toward Angelus� room. Willow could feel her heart rising into her throat in fear. She knew she was powerful enough to incinerate Angelus� with just a few words of Latin, but she was hoping that wouldn�t be necessary. She didn�t love the dark vampire, but she did care about him, and what�s more, Drusilla loved him. She did not want to have to kill him. She just hoped he left her some other choice.


It was dark in his room, but Willow was used to the dark and could see with little trouble. Drusilla waited patiently, giving Willow�s warm little hand a gentle squeeze, offering her support. The redhead smiled up at her, and then leaning up, brushed a soft kiss across the dark beauty�s lips. Willow crossed over to the bed then, removing Cordelia�s gag and bindings, but the new fledgling shook her head, fear clearly visible in her eyes. The redhead gave her a sympathetic smile; she knew what it meant being punished. If Cordelia left without permission, the next punishment would only be worse. Willow glanced at Angelus� bare back and could practically feel the tension coming off of him.


�Angelus, is she free to go for now?� Willow asked knowing full well he was awake.


�She is,� he replied tensely. He knew as well as Willow did that whatever was about to be discussed between them was better done without an audience.


Cordelia gave Willow a grateful look and mouthed the words �good luck� as she climbed from the bed naked and reluctantly took Drusilla�s hand. As they walked from the room, the redhead took a moment to marvel at how dark Cordelia looked next to the older vampire. Her tan hadn�t yet begun to fade, but soon it would. Willow had never seen the girl when she wasn�t a nice golden brown and wondered briefly what she would look like with startling white skin.


�Are you going to sit or just stand there watching my childer?�


�Sorry, just thinking,� Willow said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, �We need to talk.�


�Have you decided to become my mate?� he asked, sitting up slightly so he could look at her.


�No.�


�Then we have nothing to talk about. Come back when your answer is yes,� he replied laying back down with his back to her.


�I�m sorry, but the answer will never be yes,� Willow said softly, watching as his muscles tensed, but he didn�t say anything, so she continued. �Angelus, I�m leaving.�


This did get a reaction. He sat up quickly, grabbing her by the arm. There was no surprise in his expression, only anger.


�You ungrateful bitch! After all I�ve done for you, how dare you talk about leaving me!�


�That�s a joke, right? I mean what exactly have you done for me except beat me, torture me, rape me, and make my life a living hell?! What have you done for me?!� Willow asked in outrage as she wrenched her arm away from him and stood to pace the room angrily


�I made you strong! I helped you find the strength to exact your revenge!� Angelus raged, springing from the bed, naked, to pace along with her.


�Strength, hah! You tried to take my soul. You tried to make me into a monster,� she replied coldly.


�What soul? I never turned you into a monster, I just helped you get in touch with the darkness within you, the evil was already there just waiting to get out.�


His words struck her like a fist. He was right, and it terrified her. Angelus hadn�t turned her into a monster, she already was one, otherwise how could she have done so many horrible things.


�Is that why you want me, because I�m a monster?�


�Yes�no�I don�t know, I just want you. You�re the first woman, the first anyone, to see me as a man in more than 200 years. I don�t want to lose you,� he said softly, slumping onto the foot of the bed in defeat.


It was one of the rare moments when Angelus looked vulnerable, and it immediately made all of Willow�s anger evaporate. She sat on the bed next to him, not knowing what to say. She wanted to say there was someone out there for him, but after more than 200 years, she wasn�t sure it was true. He looked at her then, and his dark eyes were filled with such sorrow and loneliness, that she had to look away.


�You can�t lose me, because I never really belonged to you in the first place,� it sounded harsh, even to her, but it was true. �The only reason I could ever see the man within you is because of Spike. Being in love with him taught me to see past his demon, and that�s how I can see past yours too. I care about you, I do, but I can�t love you.�


�And if Spike were to die?� his voice was calm, but there was a dangerous edge to it.


�If something happened to Spike, I still wouldn�t love you,� Willow said, trying to remain calm, �But I would kill you.�


There was the ring of truth to her words, and she turned her head to look into his eyes once again to be sure he understood that it was not simply an idle threat, she meant it. Angelus stared back at her, and felt a small shiver run down his spine. There was no misunderstanding between them. Suddenly his face split into a wide grin that looked more like a barring of teeth than anything pleasant.


�All right then, you�re free to go,� he said, his voice even.


�Just like that?� Willow asked unsure.


�You�ve made it abundantly clear that you don�t want to stay, so I release you. I assume you were planning on going home?�


�Well, yeah, that was the plan.�


�And was the plan still to kill all your little friends for their betrayal?�


�Well, no. I sorta thought I�d forgive them,� she said weakly, making Angelus suddenly boom with laughter.


�Oh, little one, you are still so painfully na�ve. Do you really think that you can just forgive them and they will take you back with open arms? They betrayed you because they didn�t care about you. And now you think you can just run back home and everything will be like it was? You�re a killer now. The slayer is going to pick up on that. If you�re lucky all they�ll do is turn you in, but if your not lucky, well, they don�t call her the slayer for nothing.�


It was like Angelus was verbalizing her worst fears, but she was determined to try anyway. She swallowed down the hard lump in her throat and put her resolve face firmly in place.


�Even if that�s true, I will still have Spike.�


�Ah yes of course, Spike. Did you ever wonder why he never came for you? I mean surely after more than a hundred years of being a demon, you�d think he would have enough connections to track you down, but he never came. Did he?�


�He tried to, it wasn�t his fault. The government put something in his head,� she replied defensively.


�The government put something in his head?� Angelus asked with genuine curiosity.


�Yeah, a chip or something. Made it so he couldn�t hurt anyone. That�s why he never came for me.�


Angelus laughed again, so hard it made tears come to his eyes. Normally he would be outrage to hear of such a thing happening to one of his childer, but Spike was his rival and had always been a thorn in his side. He couldn�t conceal his delight at his childe�s suffering. Willow flinched at his reaction, but soon felt anger rising once again within her.


�It�s not funny, you bastard! It�s been really hard for him, feeling weak, unable to protect himself against humans, he even had to ask Buffy and the others for help!�


Her words however, did not have the desired effect as they only made Angelus laugh harder, until he finally rolled off the bed and onto the floor, clutching his side to try to slow his fits of giggles. Willow heard a noise behind her then, and turned to see Drusilla peeking her head through the door in curiosity. She looked back and forth from the witch to her sire, and back again. Willow just threw her hands up in frustration, heading for the door. Drusilla held it open for her, still a bit thrown by the scene in front of her. She had expected to return to find one of them dead; she had not expected this.


�Goodbye, Angelus,� Willow said over her shoulder as she left the room, leaving Drusilla standing in shock, her sire still rolling on the floor.


@@@@@@@@@@


Spike woke screaming, tears rolling down his cheeks. He had had her, for just a little while, she had been with him, but now she was gone, and it was more than he could bear. It had seemed so real, but now that he was awake, he wasn�t completely sure. One thing he was sure of though, was that he needed to find Willow. Now.


The sun was almost down, but not quite, so Spike dropped through the grate in Willy�s floor that led to the sewers, and started walking toward the slayer�s house. One way or another, he was going to make that bitch talk. He may not be able to hurt humans because of the chip, but Buffy didn�t fall into that category anymore, and he had no problem with hurting her if it meant finding Red.


By the time he reached Revello Drive the sun had been down for awhile and the moon was hanging in the sky like a spotlight. Spike slid back a manhole cover, and climbed his way out onto the street. As he approached the slayer�s house, he saw a light come on in the bathroom window upstairs.


Buffy was limping somewhat from a vamp encounter. �Stupid fledgling�, she thought, �they�re supposed to be easy.� She couldn�t believe that the first vamp of the evening had so thoroughly kicked her ass. In the end she had staked him of course, but she felt thrashed, and decided to call it a night early so she could ease her pain with a hot bath. She ran the taps almost as hot as they would go, and began looking around for the bubble bath, when she heard a noise behind her. She turned to see Spike coming through the door, and shutting it behind him, making her sigh in frustration.


�Spike, get out,� she said with more conviction than she felt.


�Buffy, we need to talk,� he replied, his voice somewhat hoarse from all the crying and screaming he had been doing lately.


�We have nothing to talk about. I told you, it�s over between us�


�This is not about �us�,� he responded with a harsh laugh, �Believe it or not slayer, the whole world doesn�t revolve around you. This is about Willow.�


�Well, save your breath then, because I�m not discussing her with you.�


�Look, slayer, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way, but you �are� going to tell me what you know.�


�All right, you want to know what I know, fine. After we saved Willow from you, she went crazy from some blood thing, and her parents had to commit her. Giles thought it would pass, but it didn�t. I didn�t want to believe she was really crazy, but you heard what that detective said, she killed somebody Spike.�


�That man deserved what he got and more,� Spike said through clenched teeth with barely contained rage


�Wrong, Spike. I don�t care what crazy Willow thinks that guy did to her, no one deserves to die like that!


�Oh really?! Well let me show you what that man did to her, and then let�s decide, shall we?� Spike said, lunging forward and pulling the slayer to the floor, beneath him.


�Spike, what are you doing?! Stop!� After all the time they had spent together, she had forgotten he was dangerous, and now with the realization that he was going to try to rape her, she was truly terrified.


�I�m going to make you feel it bitch, feel just what she did,� he screamed at her, his eyes glazed over with rage as one hand held her arms above her head, the other ripping open her robe and tearing at her panties.


�Spike�No�please!� she sobbed as she struggled against him.


Suddenly Spike was struck by a flash, a memory of Willow being raped the first time. Her terror washed over him, and it felt like his own. The realization of what he was doing hit him, and it made him sick. Here he was trying to rape Buffy, and it made him no better than the man who had raped his Red. Spike felt suddenly ill as he loosened his grip on the struggling slayer beneath him. She sensed her opportunity and brought her foot up, kicking him hard in the chest, and sending him flying across the room. He sat there in a heap on the floor for a moment, trying to collect himself. When he finally looked up at her, his eyes were full of pain and remorse.


�Buffy, I�m so sorry,� Spike whispered.


�Get out,� Buffy replied, her voice shaking slightly as she pulled her robe closed around her.


Spike didn�t try to explain or apologize again, he simply stood and left, his head swimming with the emotions of what he had just tried to do. He was worse than a monster. He had just made himself into the very thing Willow hated more than anything else. Sure, in his past he had tortured girls, killed hundreds, thousands of them, but he was not a rapist. But now that had changed. If he hadn�t recalled that moment from his dream, he would have gone through with it. He didn�t deserve to be with Willow, what he deserved was to be punished, to suffer for all the pain he had caused her, for failing to protect her when she needed him most. Maybe if he suffered enough, he would once again be worthy of her love. Then it struck him, he knew just what he had to do.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Part 27


The three hour drive to Sunnydale had felt more like fifteen for Willow. She had been forced to hitch a ride with a truck driver, Randy, who was partial to singing country western music, badly. Apparently the man was an aspiring star, and was thrilled to have a captive audience for a while. So Willow endured the torture, smiling with gritted teeth, not having the heart to tell him how terrible he was. By the time she finally arrived, the sun was almost up.


Randy had heard enough horror stories about Sunnydale that he never did more than refuel and keep moving when he came through. He tried to convince the pretty little redhead that she was too sweet to stay in a town like this, but she simply gave him a knowing smile, and asked him to drop her anywhere. The moment the truck pulled into a service station, Willow thanked the man, wishing she could do more for him. She muttered a few words under her breath, and Randy�s hand shot to his throat like it had suddenly been burned, but the sensation passed quickly, and he waved goodbye. It would take a powerful spell to duplicate true singing talent, but at least the man would now be able to sing on key, and that was something, right?


Willow headed into the Gas-n-Sip they had pulled into and purchased a map, then headed into the restroom for some privacy. When she had lived here before, Spike and Drusilla had stayed at the factory, but after it had burned, they moved into the mansion on Crawford Street with Angelus. It was possible Spike could be either of those places, but she didn�t want to waste any time finding him. She cast a locator spell, staring down at the map to see where Spike was at the moment, but nothing happened. Cursing softly, she tried again, but still, nothing. �Okay,� she thought, �I�m probably just a little too upset to focus clearly on this, time to try something different.� Willow focused on the energy that forms home and hearth. She wasn�t sure it would work for a vampire the same as it would for a human, but it was worth a try. She centered that energy, as she thought of Spike, his smell of leather and whiskey and cigarettes, his presence filling whatever room he was in, and she directed it at the map. At first she thought her spell had failed once again, but then she noticed the slightest flicker coming from one of the larger cemeteries in town. That was where he made his home.


She folded the map carefully so the little light was still visible, and headed out. Willow had to walk to almost the other side of town before she reached the right graveyard. Her feet were sore and her back ached from carrying her bags, but she had had little other choice since the buses did not run on Sunday. When she finally reached the crypt she believed was indicated by the map, the sun was well in the sky, and she was exhausted. She set her bags down, and reached out to knock on the door, but then hesitated. Thoughts began to spin in her head like a whirlwind.


What if her dream had been simply that, a dream and nothing more? What if he didn�t really want to see her? Or worse, what if he was in there with Harmony? She didn�t think she could bear to see the two of them together. But still, she had come all this way, what could it hurt to knock? Of course he was probably asleep anyway, it was daylight after all, and even if he did hear her knocking he wouldn�t be able to answer the door without bursting into flames, right? Maybe she should just leave, and come back when it was dark. But as she turned to go, her body gave a groan of protest, and she decided whatever would happen, she would rather just get it over with now.


Deciding against knocking, Willow carefully eased the door open a bit and slipped inside before too much sunlight could leak in. then she just stood for a moment, letting her eyes adjust to the dimness within.


�Hello�� she called out tentatively, looking around but not seeing anyone. �Damn,� she thought, �I must have gotten the wrong place.� She turned to leave, but just then she heard a noise behind her. Hope flooded her senses as she whirled around to see not her lover, but some sort of pig looking creature coming out of a hole in the floor.


�Eeeek!!� she squealed in a way that was almost uniquely feminine, and never flattering.


�Eeeek!!� the creature responded in kind, holding a spatula in front of him like it was his last line of defense. �Don�t hurt me, just take what you want!�


Willow wasn�t sure what she had been expecting, but it wasn�t that.


�I�I�m sorry. I didn�t mean to scare you. I was looking for a vampire, but I must have gotten the wrong crypt. I�m really sorry.� She turned to go, shaking her head in frustration.


�Hey wait,� the demon said, climbing the rest of the way out of the hole, and moving to catch up with the retreating woman. �You weren�t looking for Spike, were you?�


�You know Spike?� Willow asked hopefully.


�Sure, this is his place. I�m Clem,� he said extending a clawed hand toward her, which she shook hesitantly.


�Nice to meet you, I�m Willow.�


�You�re Willow? THE Willow?�


�Yeah, why has he talked about me?�


�Sure, now and then when he�s drunk. Spike�s not too good at sharing his feelings, very macho. I think maybe he didn�t have the best childhood, it can give a guy issues you know.�


Willow had met several demons over the years, but it was rare for her to warm to them so quickly, Lorne being one of the few exceptions, but now this Clem would have to be added to that short list. Despite his appearance, which wasn�t bad once you got used to it, it was obvious that he had a friendly and kind nature.


�So, is Spike here?�


�No, sorry. He left town early last night. Said he had to take care of something and wanted me to watch his place for him.�


�He�s�he�s gone?� Willow asked, tears already beginning to sting her eyes.


�Oh, hey, don�t take it so hard,� Clem said in a soothing voice, putting his arm around her shoulder, and ushering her to sit in a ratty old green chair. �I�m sure if he knew you were going to be coming he would�ve stuck around, and I know he�ll be back.�


�I just can�t believe this. It�s like we�re cursed or something. Like some greater force is conspiring to keep us apart. It�s not fair.� She broke down completely then, making Clem look at her nervously. How do you comfort a sobbing stranger? With chocolate, of course.


Clem ran downstairs and soon returned with a fresh plate of brownies. The smell pulled Willow out of her funk slightly as he handed them over to her and then went to the fridge to fetch her something to drink.


�The crypt has an oven?� Willow asked surprised.


�No, but Spike did run electricity to it, so I brought in a toaster oven to cook with. It doesn�t cook them all the way through though, leaves them a bit chewy in the middle.�


�They�re good, I like them chewy,� she said around a mouth full of brownie.


�Well, we don�t have much in the way of beverages. All that�s in here is milk and pig�s blood.�


�I�ll take milk, please.�


�I thought you might,� Clem said smiling as he poured her a glass. Handing it to her, he sat down on a nearby sarcophagus, and watched her eat. �See, everything�s going to be okay. You�re welcome to stay here till Spike gets back, there�s plenty of room.�


�Thanks, but I�ve got a place to stay I think,� she replied, her voice still carrying a sad edge to it. �I just don�t understand why he left now. Did something happen?�


�I�m not sure, but I think the slayer had something to do with it. He was acting kinda crazy, ranting like I wasn�t even here. I heard him mention Buffy�s name, and yours, and something about making it right. Next thing I know, he�s asking me to watch the place for him, and then he was gone. Boy I tell you, Dawn�s going to be mighty bummed out that he left.�


�Who�s Dawn?� Willow asked, afraid she was Spike�s new girlfriend.


�She�s the slayer�s little sister. I thought you and Buffy used to be friends.�


�We were, but she didn�t have a sister then. I can�t believe Joyce had another kid. Did she remarry?�


�No, it�s complicated. Wow, you have been gone a while. Joyce�um�she died, you know.�


�What! How?!�


�I�m not sure, cancer I think. Dawn�s not exactly her daughter anyway. Spike explained it to me one time when we were watching a program on public television about dimensional portals. She�s actually some mystical thingy that was made by some monks. I don�t really know all the details, I mean she�s still just a teenaged girl to me.�


�I see,� Willow shook her head in confusion. So much had changed in just a few short years, but that was life on the hellmouth. �What about Xander? I mean he�s still okay, right?�


�Oh sure, he�s engaged to that Anya girl. Of course who knows if they�ll ever cross the finish line on that one, I mean they�ve postponed three times already.�


�Huh? Xander�s engaged?�


�Sure. I mean a lot of people were saying it would never work. After all, she�s an ex-demon, and he�s the slayer�s best friend, but I�ve got my fingers crossed for them. They make a really sweet couple.�


�Well�, she thought, �at least Xander�s taste in women hasn�t changed.� She was left sitting somewhat dumbstruck, trying to absorb all this new information, knowing that there would only be more to come, when she heard a loud bang on the crypt door, a second before it flew open to reveal a very angry looking Buffy. The slayer stormed inside, but stopped short when she saw her old friend sitting wearing a shocked expression.


�Willow�Well I guess I shouldn�t be too surprised to find you here, I mean I knew you�d come eventually,� she said, working to keep her voice even, without a trace of emotion.


�Buffy�hi�It�s good to see you again. How you�ve been?� Willow had intended to bury the hatchet with her old friend. She still resented that the slayer hadn�t even tried to rescue her from Marion, but she had decided to try and take Lorne�s advice. She would forgive the people who had wronged her and hopefully herself as well before her own rage destroyed what was left of her. However, standing in front of the small blonde woman, she wasn�t sure if she could go through with it. The slayer�s tone was cold, but neutral, yet there were waves of hostility flowing off of her anyway.


�How have I been, let�s see. Well, trying to keep the hellmouth under control, that�s always fun, then I find out my friend is a cold blooded murderer, and then before I can adjust to that news, you true love tries to rape me.�


�He what? You must be mistaken, he would never��


�Oh, he did. He wanted me to suffer like you had. Wanted me to feel what it was like.�


�Oh my god, Buffy I�m so sorry. Something happened between us, I can�t explain it, but it must have affected him more than I thought. I really am sorry.� Willow was having trouble believing Spike was capable of something like that, but the sharing of their memories had affected both of them deeply. When she woke, she had had Drusilla there to comfort her, but Spike had no one. It was possible he could have lost it temporarily; she really needed to find him. �Do you know where Spike is now?�


�Oh right, you�re SO SORRY, that you ask about HIM in the same breath as you apologize.� Something about the anger in her voice made a horrible thought come to Willow.


�You didn�t hurt him, did you?� the redhead tried to keep her voice calm, but she could feel her eyes bleeding to black as power flooded her body. It didn�t matter what he had done, if Buffy hurt him, she would pay.


�Holy black eyed girl, Batman. Ease down a bit there with the dark mojo. I�m sure the slayer hasn�t done anything to hurt Spike, he just left town for a bit. Right, Buffy?� Clem said nervously, trying to take things down a couple of notches.


�What? Yeah right, I guess. I mean, I don�t know. I mean, I didn�t hurt him, but if he�s left town it�s news to me,� She managed to ramble out, somewhat in a daze over what she was seeing. She was used to being around Amy and Tara, but she had never felt anything nearly this powerful coming off of them. �What�s with the eyes, Wills?�


�Oh, sorry. It happens sometimes when I�m upset,� Willow said, feeling the power inside her flow back to the well it came from, trusting that Buffy was telling the truth. �This just isn�t going at all the way I hoped it would.�


�And how�d you think it would go?� Buffy asked carefully. She had seen the darkness in her old friend and it had scared her.


�Oh, you know, friends saying welcome home. Maybe a party, cake, Xander doing his Snoopy dance, that sort of thing,� she replied, sadness creeping into her voice.


�Well, you know what happened last time we threw a welcome home party on the hellmouth��


�Yeah, zombies galore, I forgot,� Willow looked up then, her eyes very sincere, �I heard about your mom. I�m so sorry Buffy, I really loved her.�


Any remaining hostility was melted as both girls fell into silence over the loss of the woman they both considered a mother. When Buffy finally spoke, her voice was thick with emotion and she was unable to look the redhead in the eyes out of shame for the way she had treated her.


�Well, come on, I guess. I�m sure Giles and everyone will have a million questions for you, and we can send Dawn to the store to pick up a cake while Xander dances for you.�


@@@@@@@@@@


�Wow, so you�re Dawn,� Willow said somewhat in awe, looking at the girl before her.


�Yeah, you don�t remember me?� the teenager asked in surprise.


�No, should I?�


�Well, the monks gave me memories of you, and Angel has memories of me, even though he wasn�t here when I was made, so I kinda assumed you would too.� Dawn said, frowning in confusion.


�Really? Well I�m surprised they went to all that trouble, considering the whole glowy thing. I mean how well do you really blend in anyway?�


�What �glowy thing�?� Giles asked carefully.


�You know the green glow. Don�t tell me you can�t see it?�


�No, only psychics and crazy people can see it.� Buffy said coolly.


�Willow�s a psychic now, cool!� Xander said enthusiastically.


�No, honey, I think Buffy is implying that Willow�s still crazy,� Anya said in a somewhat pacifying tone, patting him lightly on the arm.


�You guys really can�t see it?� the redhead asked again, �Huh, too bad. She�s really beautiful, like a girl shaped jewel with iridescent emerald light coming off of her. Hey, I wonder what other kinds of cool stuff I can see now that I�m crazy,� she said with a half giggle, trying to lighten the mood, but seeing only grim faces staring back at her. She sighed in defeat, �Oh well, I guess the party�s over. I�ll just go home now.�


�No, Will, don�t go. You just caught us off guard is all,� Xander said quickly.


�That�s right. And, um, well, it�s probably only some sort of temporary dementia brought on by stress. After all, you can still see Dawn, just slightly different than we do,� Giles added hopefully.


�Well, I think it�s cool,� Dawn said, �Like I�m magic or something. You have to tell me everything��


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Part 28


Days turned into weeks, and soon four months had gone by, but still there was no sign of Spike. Willow had reacclimated to life on the hellmouth, falling once again into the steady routine of research and patrolling. Life was pretty good, all things considered. She had a beautiful home all to herself, with her parents unavoidably detained elsewhere. She had taken her GED tests and received perfect scores. After blowing away the people at the admissions office with her entrance exam scores, she had no trouble getting into U.C.Sunnydale, and was doing quite well with her classes. She had almost forgotten how much she liked school.


As for her social life, things were a bit strained there. Most of the Scoobies were feeling a bit leery about her checkered past. They had no proof that she had killed anyone, but they all knew she had become a powerful enough witch to do a great number of undesirable things. Willow refused to talk about it, any of it, with any of them. It was her business, and she was content to keep it that way. For the most part the redhead kept to herself, although she did take a job at the Magic Box, working with Anya. The ex-demon could be a bit much to take sometimes, but she was painfully honest and Willow could respect that. Besides, there was still too much weirdness between her and Giles for her to work the same hours as him.


Xander was the only thing that truly hadn�t changed. While most of the others were somewhat hesitant around her, he was like an unwavering beacon of friendship, offering her support in any way he could. It was true that he didn�t quite understand what all she had been through or what was going through her head when she would sit for long periods of time, staring off in silence, but he was so happy to have his friend back again, that he was content to just sit in silence with her if that was what she needed. He had even learned to deal with her new flappy friend, Clem, coming over once a week for movie night with him and Dawn. Buffy hadn�t been too thrilled at the thought of the littlest Summers spending a bunch of time with the redheaded witch, but with Xander there also, she couldn�t really think of a good enough excuse to keep them apart. Although, she did put the kibosh on Willow teaching Dawn any magic. Dawn had pouted, but Willow had just smiled and nodded and then later slipped some beginner�s books into the girl�s bag.


The situation with Oz had been quite a bit trickier. He was never one to press, but he had been persistent in his pursuit of reclaiming his former high school sweetie. Willow had trouble understanding his motivation. In her mind, the girl that had once dated the guitar wielding werewolf was long dead. But in his mind Willow hadn�t changed a bit. She was still beautiful and vibrant, and while she was a bit quieter, this only seemed to add to her allure. The redhead would have none of it though. While she was flattered by the flowers and love songs sent her way, she knew in her heart that eventually Spike would find his way home and they would be together again.


One night, about two months after she had returned, Willow had had the most intense nightmare of her life involving a battle to the death with various demons. Most of it had faded from her mind over time, but she could still remember the darkness of the cave and distantly the sound of drums. When it was all over, a figure cloaked in shadows touched her chest and it was like being struck by lightening. A pain unlike anything she had ever known had ripped through her body, but when she opened her mouth to scream the sound was not her own, it was Spike�s. The memory of that nightmare still made her break out in a cold sweat. It haunted her, but she tried to keep her hopes up and believe that Spike was okay and that he would come back to her.


@@@@@@@@@@


Willow was doing her usual patrol with Xander when she felt it again. For about a week now, she had been getting feelings, almost flashes, that told her Spike was near. But something wasn�t quite right about it. Her bond with the blonde vamp was still intact, she was sure of it, but the sensations she was getting were almost like that of another person. Still she hoped it was a sign that Spike was on his way home. Tonight however, the feeling was so overwhelming that she had to pause a moment and catch her breath. He was here, in Sunnydale, somewhere very close.


It had been her and Xander�s turn to patrol by the new Sunnydale High, and as the redhead regained control of her feelings, she looked over at the darkened building, like some great sleeping beast, and she knew he was inside.


�Um, Will, what are you doing?� Xander asked in confusion, panting slightly as he caught up with his friend who had bolted to the school. But Willow just ignored him as she said a little spell to unlock the door in front of her. �Look, I�m sure if you want to look around the new school, Buffy would be happy to give you a tour tomorrow, but the whole stealth mode breaking and entering thing, probably not of the good,� he said, grabbing her arm to stop her.


�Don�t try to stop me, Xander, he�s in there and I�ve got to get to him, now.�


She turned to face him with eyes gone inky black. Xander had heard from Buffy about Willow�s little black eyed moment at Spike�s crypt, but this was the first time he had seen it, and now he understood why it had spooked the slayer so badly.


Willow watched her oldest friend pull back from her in fear, and it made her heart heavy with sadness. She felt the power recede somewhat, and focused green eyes on him again.


�Xander, I�m sorry. I don�t mean to scare you, but I have to go to him,� without waiting for a response, she turned and entered the building.


She moved through the dark structure as if she had been there before, or as if some unknown force was directing her to exactly where she needed to be. Xander followed at a safe distance, unsure if Willow knew of his presence, and unwilling to leave her to whatever potential baddie could be hiding around each corner. However, when she headed straight for the basement, he paused momentarily to wonder if he should call Buffy and ask for a little back up. He hadn�t given it too much thought though when Willow disappeared down the stairs and he was forced to follow or leave her alone, so of course he followed.


With every step Willow took, she felt the feeling within her grow, and with it her dread. He was very close, but something was wrong, very wrong. Finally she came to stand before a large steel door in the basement. She didn�t remember exactly how she got there, but only that once she opened this door, her life would once again be changed forever. She took a calming breath and with a shaky hand opened the latch.


Inside was darkness so black that even with the dim light coming in from the door, it took her a moment to adjust to her surroundings as she eased inside. She could just make out a figure, huddled in the corner rocking and muttering to himself. �Something is definitely wrong,� she thought to herself as her blood turned to ice in her veins.


�Spike?� she asked softly, approaching the figure. It wasn�t until she was almost up to him that he stopped his rambling and looked up at her, his eyes full of pain and fear. �Spike? It�s me, it�s Willow.�


�You�re not r-e-a-l,� he said in an almost sing song manner that reminded her of Drusilla.


She reached her hand out to stroke his head lightly, but the moment she touched him, he let out a high, piteous scream and scuttled away from her. It was tearing her heart out to see him like this. She didn�t know what was wrong with him, but there in the dark, directly above the hellmouth, was not the place to deal with it. Willow backed away from him a bit, wiping tears from her eyes, and began a simple incantation that would render the vampire temporarily unconscious. She had just finished the spell when Xander appeared in the doorway, blocking out what little light there had been. As he moved closer to her, he was able to see Spike�s form out cold on the floor, and let out an audible gasp.


�Oh my god, Spike! Willow are you okay?! Did he hurt you?!�


�I�m fine Xan, but I gotta get him back home.�


�Why?� Xander asked in confusion, flinching when she turned to glare at him, �Okay, don�t go all black eyed Susan on me again. I just don�t understand why you�d want to help him, but that�s your business I guess. So, moving him, hmm? Well, he�s a bit heavy to carry the whole way, unless we call Buffy to help��


�No! I mean, no, I don�t need Buffy�s help on this. In fact, for now, I�d rather no one knew he was back at all. At least until he�s well again, okay?�


�I don�t know, Will, lying to Buffy, not so good. I mean we�re not really best buds anymore, but she is the slayer and he is a vamp. Don�t you think she should know?�


�No Xander, please! I know you don�t understand, but please just don�t tell anyone!� she pleaded.


�Okay, Wills, but if he�s going to be at your place, then I�m staying there too to make sure he doesn�t do anything.�


�Look, I appreciate the concern, but it�s really not necessary,� she began, but stopped when she saw his own version of the resolve face, �Fine. You can stay.�


�Great, now how are we going to get him back there?�


�Well, I kinda figured we�d meet you there,� Willow said as she knelt on the ground, pulling her lover�s body against her, before the both of them disappeared in a swirl of light and color.


�Okay, you don�t see that everyday,� Xander muttered to himself as he made his way back to Willow�s house.


@@@@@@@@@@


Willow and Spike landed in a heap outside her parent�s house. She was exhausted and queasy from using such a powerful spell. The redhead knew there were ways to greatly increase her magical powers beyond what they already were, but it would involve using very dark magics, and she just wasn�t willing to go down that path anymore. She was already one of the most powerful witches on the western hemisphere, and that was good enough for her. Although, as she dragged Spike�s body through the front door, she thought that a little juice to do a levitation spell would be nice.


Once they were safely inside, Willow collapsed on top of Spike, and simply held him, while she waited for the waves of nausea to pass. She was sick and scared, but above all, she was happy. Spike was home, and no matter what was to come next, they could handle it because they had each other. So it was with a smile that the redhead finally dozed off, laying half on top of her paramour, waiting to get her strength back.


And that was how Xander found them, both out cold on the floor in the entry way. At first he panicked, thinking something had gone wrong, but after checking her pulse and breathing, the dark haired man was reassured that his friend was in fact all right. He lifted her small body easily and carried her up to her room, placing her on her bed carefully. Then, heading back downstairs, he grabbed a couple of extra blankets out of the linen closet, pausing at the bottom of the stairs to toss one over Spike, ensuring he wouldn�t burst into flames from any spare rays coming through the window, and then made himself comfortable on the couch before calling Anya.


The former demon was none too pleased to hear her sweetie was spending the night at another woman�s house, but then Xander fed her a story about Willow tripping and hitting her head, and that he was just there to keep an eye on her. It took him several minutes to convince her that he was indeed sleeping on the couch, but finally she relented and asked him to call her in the morning.


@@@@@@@@@@


Early morning light crept through Willow�s bedroom windows, spilling across her face, and rousing her from her sleep. Like any other day, she stretched and yawned, and then the memories of the night before came flooding back to her and she bolted upright in a panic, searching the room for any signs of Spike or his dusty remains. But as she glanced around, she saw nothing out of place, except that she had apparently fallen asleep in her clothes again. �It all must have been some sort of vivid dream,� she thought sadly as she headed downstairs to scrounge up something to eat. �Maybe I have malaria,� she wondered, noticing the achy feeling of her body. But as she neared the bottom of the stairs, she stopped short, seeing a large blanket covered lump on the floor with just the slightest bit of shocking blonde hair peeking out from underneath.


�Spike,� she whispered to herself.


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Part 29


Willow looked down in shock on the blanket covered heap that was Spike. It hadn�t been a dream, he was here with her. She leaned down to touch him, but just then a noise like an old car horn sounded behind her and she whirled around, letting out an unflattering squeak before spotting Xander fast asleep on the couch. Clutching her hand to her heart, the redhead let out a shaky sigh of relief. She remembered now that Xander said he was going to stay over. The redhead quickly and quietly moved through the house shutting all the curtains before focusing her energy on Spike and watching as he slowly started to rise off of the floor. He was definitely bigger than a pencil, but she had rested enough to regain her strength, so moving him to the master bath off of her parents room wasn�t too difficult.


He looked terrible. Willow laid him on the white tile floor while she ran a hot bath. His skin was beyond pale. He looked peaked even for a vampire, and it was obvious he had lost weight as well. His hair was dirty, hanging limply around his face in a mass of tangled curls. He obviously hadn�t bleached it in a while, and for the first time Willow could see his natural brown color underneath white blonde tips. As the tub filled, she stripped away his clothes, having to practically peel his filthy jeans off of him, no underwear though. Apparently some things never changed. However, the redhead stopped short when she opened his new short leather jacket to reveal his naked chest covered in scratches that seemed to congregate around the center, as if something had tried to claw his heart out. Normally such marks would have healed almost instantly, but malnutrition must have weakened his recuperative powers.


Willow stripped off her own clothes and climbed in the hot bath, then used her levitation trick to lower him into the tub with her. She was surprised he was still unconscious. Her spell had surely worn off by now, but his own exhaustion was keeping him under. No matter, he would come to when he was ready. In the mean time she was content just feeling the weight of his body resting against hers. She picked up a large bath sponge and began gently washing his shoulders and chest when he began to stir.


Spike�s eyes drifted open like a lazy dreamer. His hands seeking out Willow�s and pulling them flush against his chest, over his heart. She could feel the slight roughness where his perfect flesh had been torn at repeatedly. She leaned her head forward and planted a light kiss over his jugular, and suddenly he jumped, flinching away from her.


The blonde vamp twisted around, turning hollow eyes on her as if he had just realized his surroundings had changed. He looked panicked, like a caged animal. She reached her hand out to him and he skittered as far away as the tub would allow, sloshing large amounts of water over the side and onto the floor.


�Bad, very bad. Mother told me what happens to bad boys who make time with wicked ladies. Very, very bad,� he muttered softly, covering his eyes now to avoid seeing her nakedness.


�Spike, what are you talking about? It�s me, Willow. Remember?� she asked softly, reaching out to touch his arm gently.


�Not real. Red�s in my head. Not real.�


�Spike, what happened to you?� she asked, afraid of his answer.


�The spark,� he said with a slight giggle that quickly turned to a frown, �the spark for my Red.� He looked at her then with such intensity that it felt more like a touch than a look. The crazed vampire had a flash of almost recognition, reaching out, nearly touching her vibrant tresses before pulling his hand back quickly in fear. �Fire, fire, in your hair! Fire, fire, everywhere!�


Willow had never seen Drusilla when she had been at her worst, but she had heard stories, and they weren�t too far off from what she was seeing now. Something had broken him, badly. The question was whether he could be made whole again? She had to try.


�Spike get control of yourself, you are stronger than this!�


Spike�s demon raged within him, trying to free itself once again from its new bonds. The struggle inside of him caused him to shake violently. His demon had waited years to be reunited with his mate, and now that she was here, he couldn�t pull himself together enough to even reclaim her. The demon fought harder, his face shifting to reveal his vampire fa�ade, causing Willow�s heart rate to increase with a combination of lust and fear. It had been a very long time since she had been afraid of any vampire, especially one she had learned to love and trust. But insanity made all creatures unpredictable at best.


The smell of her fear and arousal was the sweetest aroma Spike�s demon had ever smelled. He reached across the tub, grabbing her by the hair, pulling her to him. Spike crushed his mouth against hers, kissing her with such force and passion, that Willow struggled to pull back long enough to breathe before returning the kiss with the power of her own desperate need. But just when she had begun to think that some part of Spike was still rational, he pulled back, clutching his hands over his eyes, and shaking violently.


Willow didn�t understand what was happening, but it was obvious to her that at least his demon was unharmed, buried perhaps under a broken psyche, but still intact. She needed to call his demon out, coax it into taking control of her lover until she could make some sense of his mind. But how do you coax a vampire�s demon to the surface? With blood of course.


Climbing from the tub, Willow walked to her bedroom, and soon returned with a long dagger. She looked at the man she loved, and without hesitation made a sharp slash across her wrist. She knew as her blood began to well to the surface that it was deeper than she had intended to go, but still was not life threatening. The effect on Spike was almost instantaneous. His head shot up, his demon face returning. He climbed out of the tub slowly, his eyes never wavering as he stalked toward her like a wolf hunting its prey.


As he drew nearer, Willow began backing toward the bedroom, climbing onto the large bed, leaving a trail of blood along the way. Her heart was pounding in her chest, as she hoped he wasn�t so far gone as to actually harm her. However, watching him move with such unwavering intensity made even death seem worthwhile if it was by his hands.


He crawled on to the bed, his arousal evident as he sniffed the air around her. He took her bloody hand in his, bringing her wrist to his mouth, his jaws working convulsively as he took in her blood in greedy gulps. Willow�s grip on reality began to grow hazy as her life force was drained away from her. �Yep,� she thought, �as death goes, not so bad.� She had resigned herself to dying in the arms of her lover when suddenly he stopped his assault on her vascular system, and pushed her down fiercely on the bed.


Again he kissed her with overwhelming passion, but now the taste of her own blood added to the sensation. She had just enough presence of mind to wrap a corner of sheet around her wrist to slow her bleeding, before he began his exploration of her body.


Hands trailed over her flesh, but not gently. With only his demon in control, Spike was more like an animal than a man, pawing her roughly, pinching with calloused fingers, nipping her flesh with now human teeth. He worked his way down her body, marking her flesh with many red bites that were sure to become bruises, and all the while he did it with a constant stream of growls and other primal sounds.


Willow moaned loudly as he found her right nipple, sucking it into his mouth and biting down hard, leaving a ring of red teeth marks around it. Meanwhile his hand trailed over to her other nipple, pinching it hard enough to cause pain to shoot through her. But, after spending so much time in the company of vampires, pain for the most part just equaled more pleasure for her now, and she arched her back, pushing herself harder against him.


When he moved to take her other breast into his mouth, he paused a moment, eyeing the old bite mark he had given her, suspiciously. His demon clearly remembered marking her, but didn�t recall the scar being quite so obvious. However, these thoughts quickly escaped him as Willow harshly pulled his head to her chest, grabbing his hair, and raking her nails down his back, leaving long red trails in their wake. Spike�s demon growled fiercely, biting down on the rosy tip hard enough to draw blood this time.


Willow growled in return, snaking her hand down to finger her swollen nub, but Spike would have none of that and yanked her hand away before rolling her over slightly and giving her a sharp slap on her backside. The redhead whimpered in frustration and need, but she knew this game and would play along. Spike continued to nip his way down her stomach until he finally reached her mound of cinnamon curls. He buried his nose in her curls and breathed deep the scent that was Willow, spicy, intoxicating.


He flicked his cool tongue across her hard nub, and felt a surge of pride, knowing how easily he dominated her, how he was the one to make her quiver. The blonde vampire pushed her thighs apart to gain better access to her core. He wanted to taste all of her. But, as he spread her creamy thighs farther apart he couldn�t help but notice the mound of scar tissue hidden between her legs. He knew that mark, because Drusilla had had one exactly the same. It was the mark of his sire, Angelus.


Spike reared back, screaming with rage. She was his! Willow belonged to him! Yet once again Angelus had taken what was his, and in his fragile state, it was more than his demon or his mind could handle. Spike lunged forward, grabbing the redhead by the throat, smashing her head against the headboard hard enough to put a crack in the wood. Willow felt things start to slip from perception as she fought to maintain consciousness. She didn�t know what had happened, but this was no longer simply rough sex. Judging by the look in her lover�s eyes, he was going to kill her.


The blonde vampire hauled his precious princess off the bed by the hair, and held her upright long enough to belt her across the room. Her back hit against the oak dresser set hard, and she couldn�t help but wonder momentarily how Xander could sleep through so much noise happening right above him. The thought left her though as she saw Spike stalking towards her again. She knew she was a powerful enough witch to simply eviscerate him with a few words of Latin, but she couldn�t bring herself to do it. However, her survival instinct was still there enough that she tried to crawl away from him, but she only succeeded in looking more pathetic.


Spike grabbed her from behind as she tried to pull herself away from him. Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice was screaming at him that this was wrong, but his demon smacked that voice down, just as he smacked Willow down. He rolled her over, reveling in the waves of fear coming off of her. She was terrified, and he was glad. He would remind her just who her master was.


Using one knee, he forced her legs apart a moment before slamming his cock into her. He didn�t even wait for her body to adjust to his presence before beginning a brutal rhythm. As the moments passed and Willow realized that he wanted to fuck her, not kill her, she allowed herself to enjoy the feeling that was building inside of her. It was crazy, and very, very wrong, but she loved this man, and wanted to have him any way she could.


Spike�s demon marveled at the amount of abuse his mate was able to take, and still be ready and willing for him. It was no wonder his sire had wanted her. He was just thankful that the bastard hadn�t turned her. That pleasure would be his, just as she would be his for all eternity. He could feel her muscles begin to tense in her abdomen as she was reaching the high point. Her face was flushed, and there was blood running down her chin from where he had split her lip. The smell of sex and blood hung heavily in the air as he pounded himself into her, filling her until he could feel his tip brushing against her cervix.


The blonde vampire heard a low moaning escaping from her bloodied mouth, a moment before she began spasming around him. The force of her orgasm rocked both their bodies and drove him over the edge as he filled her with his cold seed. He felt her blunt teeth clamp down on his shoulder, drawing out his release as she filled her mouth with his blood again and again. His demon growled savagely, pulling her head back and he struck, sinking fangs deep into her. He had waited too long to turn her in the past and had nearly lost her forever. He wouldn�t make that mistake again.


Willow watched the world slip away, her body no longer in pain. She felt almost as if she was floating. Lying there, listening to the sucking noise of Spike bringing her life to an end, she felt calm, happy. Then the blackness swam across her vision.


Spike pulled back from her. He had taken enough of her blood that if he left her now, she would die, but he had no intention of leaving her. He lifted himself off of her, and pulled her into his arms as if cradling a child. Suddenly his behavior toward her was very gentle. He bit into his wrist and held it to her mouth. They would spend eternity together, they would be mated forever. Even the little voice in his head had stopped screaming at this thought. They belonged together.


However, before he had the chance to feed her his blood, his strength, Spike head was rocked to the side by a wooden chair smashing against his skull, knocking him unconscious, and throwing him back away from Willow.


�You monster! I�ll kill you!� Xander screamed at the vampire as he stared down at the scene in front of him. �I�ll fucking kill you!�


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Part 30


Xander entered the bedroom, afraid of what he might find. He had been woken only moments before by a loud crashing noise above him. As soon as he realized that Spike was no longer out cold on the entry way floor, the dark haired man rushed upstairs, terrified he was already too late. Still, he wasn�t prepared for the sight before him.


There, on the bedroom floor, was a naked Spike clutching a naked Willow to his chest. Her body was hanging limply against him, and even from a distance he could see multiple injuries marking her flesh. When he saw the blonde vampire bite into his wrist and hold it above her mouth, he knew Spike was in the process of turning her, and something inside him just snapped. Grabbing the chair from the nearby desk, he swung it in an arc, bringing it down squarely against the vampire�s head, rocketing him to the side and away from Willow.


�You monster! I�ll kill you!� Xander screamed, blinded by rage. �I�ll fucking kill you!�


The next blow came across Spike�s back, breaking two of the legs off the chair. Xander scooped up one of the broken pieces of wood and positioned himself for the death blow over Spike�s prone form. He was so caught up in his own vengeance, that he didn�t notice the small pale hand reaching toward her lover�s, or the soft words of Latin that were being whispered. However, Xander did notice being thrown across the room as the stake connected with some sort of energy barrier that had suddenly gone up around Spike.


Willow clutched at the hand she held, weakly pulling his bleeding wrist to her mouth, even as she felt her own body dying. Her mouth convulsed on the wound, gulping down the life giving nectar. Xander sat up, dazed for a moment, as he saw Willow feeding off her lover. Relief flooded him as he realized she wasn�t yet dead, but there wasn�t much time.


Grabbing the comforter off of the bed, he tossed it over her and yanked her into his arms, rushing down the stairs. Grabbing the keys to Willow�s Honda off the counter, he rushed her to the car, and off to the hospital, running countless lights along the way. Willow had lost consciousness once again, and Xander feared that she was in fact dead as he ran, carrying her body, through the emergency room doors.


�Help me! She�s lost most of her blood!� he screamed, as he quickly passed her off to an emergency room physician.


Immediately they went to work on her. They attached I.V.�s and started pouring units of blood into her. However, with such blood loss and extensive damage to her body, it was more than her delicate form could handle, and she went into cardiac arrest. Xander kneeled on the floor in the outer hallway, praying like he had never prayed before, for god to spare the life of his friend. Fat tears were rolling down his cheeks as he watched them bring equipment into the room to rapidly infuse the blood, catching a glimpse of them using paddles to try to shock her heart back to life. The flat line on the heart monitor screamed in his ears for more than twenty minutes before someone finally switched it off. He heard the doctor pronounce the time of death, and began to weep openly. She was gone. Just when he had gotten her back, she was gone again.


Xander pushed his way past the exiting staff and into the room. Her naked body had been discreetly covered by one of the remaining nurses who had stayed behind to fill out some forms that would go with the body to the morgue. When she saw the grief stricken man come into the room, she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, telling him she would give them a few minutes alone.


He seemed to fold in on himself, becoming smaller in his grief, like a child again. He thought back to the first time he had seen death when he was eight, and his grandmother had died. She had been the only person in his family to ever give a damn about him, and at her funeral he had sobbed like a baby. His father, who was drunk like most of the other relatives, told him to �suck it up and be a man, instead of a little girl.� Xander had tried to be strong, but his heart was broken. It was Willow who had found him hiding in another room, crying and shaking, afraid of being found. She had put her arms around him, and cried with him. She didn�t feel the loss of the old woman like her friend did. Hers were tears of sympathy that her friend was in so much pain and she couldn�t fix it. They held each other and cried, both of them losing a part of their innocence that day.


Now, looking down on his Willow�s lifeless body, Xander was sobbing again, but there was no one there to share his pain this time. She looked so violated with an intubation tube sticking out of her mouth, and I.V.�s still attached to her arms. Her whole body was covered in bruises and abrasions. He held her hand gently in his as his body was racked with grief. He knew there was a good chance she would rise again, and when that happened, Buffy would stake her. He couldn�t bear the thought of it. He just held her hand in his and cried with such raw anguish that he couldn�t imagine things ever being right again. And then he felt it.


The slightest flex of fingers around his pulled him out of his mourning with a jolt. If she had been turned it would likely take three days for her to rise, or at least full dark. He had read in countless places while doing research that the first rising only happened at night, like a self preservation failsafe. Xander lifted a shaking hand to her throat, feeling for a pulse, and it was there, faint but there.


�Somebody! I need help! She�s alive!� he screamed, bringing doctors and nurses in with a rush. They checked her over, and sure enough they found a pulse and breath sounds.


�I don�t believe this! She�s been down for more than thirty minutes,� a sandy haired doctor said as he pulled his stethoscope away from her chest.


�She�s a miracle, my Willow,� Xander said softly, brushing a stray lock of red hair from her face.


@@@@@@@@@@@


The Scoobies were assembled in the hospital lounge, waiting for the doctor to fill them in on Willow�s condition. They all seemed to be in shock. Xander had told them what happened, and they were quietly discussing what should be done about Spike. Giles had suspected that when the lovesick vampire left town it was to find someone to remove the chip from his head, and now it looked as if those suspicions had been confirmed. The general consensus was to stake him, but unfortunately Buffy had already gone over to the house to do just that, only to discover that the spell protecting him was still intact. Amy and Tara had agreed to work on a counter spell to make him vulnerable again, but in the meantime, they were all more concerned with Willow�s wellbeing. Just then, the sandy haired doctor who had treated her from the beginning came into the lounge looking tired and discouraged.


�Are any of you Miss Rosenberg�s family?� he asked and watched as several nervous glances were exchanged, followed by several nods.


�I am Willow�s uncle;� Giles lied softly, �Her parents are out of town at the moment. Please, how bad is it?�


�Well, as her friend here may have already told you,� he said, indicating Xander, �your niece was clinically dead for several minutes. We really can�t explain her unexpected revival, but the fact remains that her brain and heart were deprived of oxygen for quite some time. Her heart seems to be undamaged, although in time this may change, but her brain�um�I�m sorry but we�re reading no higher brain functions at this time.�


�Are you saying she�s in a coma? Because she was in a coma once before, and she came out of it a little while later. Remember guys?� Xander asked in desperation.


�Yes, she is in a comatose state, but what I�m trying to say is that Miss Rosenberg is brain dead. I am very sorry, but I don�t see any possibility of recovery. Perhaps it would be best to track down her parents, to see if they want to keep her on life support. Until then we�ll keep her comfortable. Do you know by chance if she intended to be an organ donor?�


�What are you, some kind of ghoul? My best friend is lying in there, and you�re talking about taking her body parts?!� Xander yelled while everyone else looked at the floor uncomfortably.


�Xander, please. He didn�t mean any harm. I will try to contact her parents again. I�m not sure what their wishes or Willow�s were for handling such a situation.�


�Of course, please be sure I meant no offense. Just let me know when you hear something, and again I�m very sorry for your loss.�


�She�s not dead yet,� Xander said through clenched teeth.


The doctor gave him a slight nod and a sad smile before turning and walking away.


@@@@@@@@@@


Drusilla had had the most terrifying dream. Something was very wrong with the little tree and her Spike, and she didn�t have much time to remedy it. The dark vampire slipped out of the Hyperion just after sunset, flagging down a cab to take her to the train station. She hated traveling alone, but at least she had Miss Edith for company. Besides, Drusilla loved riding trains. Always so many tasty people with nowhere to escape to, plus it had that lovely whistle. By the time she had reached the Sunnydale station, there were only a couple hours till dawn. She would have to hurry.


Xander was sound asleep in the chair next to Willow�s bed. The others had tried to convince him to go home and get some rest, but he just couldn�t leave her. He was emotionally exhausted and had fallen asleep quickly, but his subconscious was still alert, and registered an unwelcome presence in the room with him. He opened his eyes slowly, looking up to see Drusilla towering over him.


�Sorry, pretty pretty, but my poppet needs rescuing from this shiny prison,� she said, smiling sweetly, before hitting Xander over the head with a bedpan, knocking him out.


She quickly detached Willow from all the tubes and wires that were coming off of her body, setting off her heart monitor and an alarm in the nurses� station. But as they were rushing toward the dark haired woman carrying the small redhead, Drusilla flashed her vamp face at them and they immediately backed off.


Drusilla arrived at Willow�s house with only moments to spare. It hadn�t been easy tracking down the place using only her bond with Spike, but she had done it. She paused at the door, unsure how she would cross the threshold without an invitation. She kicked the door open, and then felt around the edges to see where the barrier began. To her surprise, there wasn�t one. Drusilla was confused by this because she could still clearly hear the girl�s heartbeat, and if she was alive the barrier should be intact. Still, she didn�t ponder it for too long; hopefully there would be time for that later.


She quickly carried her up the stairs, towards the bedroom where she knew Spike was waiting. But first there was another hurdle to get over, in the form of a very startled and angry watcher waiting at the top of the stairs holding a crossbow.


�Drusilla, I don�t know what you are doing here with Willow, but I want you to set her down very carefully and back away.�


�You�re the watcher, the one my daddy brought home to play with,� Drusilla said, turning her head to the side with the recollection.


�Yes, I am the one that you and your �daddy� TORTURED! Now put the girl down!� Giles said, stepping closer, hoping for a better shot. As it was he couldn�t risk going for Drusilla�s heart without possibly hitting Willow.


�I can�t, silly; she�s sick and needs to be with her sire if she�s going to get well.�


�Spike is NOT her sire. Willow is still alive, still human, but very sick. You MUST put her down, NOW.�


�You�re right about her being alive, ducky, but she�s not human, not anymore. And if you don�t get out of the way she won�t be anything but dead.�


�What are you talking about �not human,� of course she�s human,� Giles said, feeling his grip on reality slipping away.


�There is no time to chat about it, pet. She needs to be with her daddy, now before it�s too late.�


�And why on god�s green earth would I trust anything you have to say?�


�Because she�s my little tree, and I love her,� Drusilla pleaded with him, �Please, please don�t let her die.�


Giles didn�t know if it was the air of desperation in her voice, or the way she held the redhead in her arms protectively, but he believed her. Moving out of the way so she could pass, he noticed that she didn�t even look behind her to see if he would shoot her in the back. Her sole concern was for Willow. Who knew, maybe she could still be helped. It couldn�t be any worse than living as a vegetable.


Drusilla gently laid her friend on the bed, before scooping Spike up off the floor where he was still lying unconscious, and placed him on the bed next to his mate.


�How did you�� Giles started, motioning at Spike�s limp form.


�Tree�s little spell wasn�t meant for me, it was to protect him from those who would do him harm.�


Giles watched as the dark vampire positioned herself to spoon against Spike�s body, before pulling a dagger from her handbag and using it to slice open his wrist. The display was fascinating, but when she placed his bleeding wound against Willow�s mouth, Giles lost his cool, and moved to stop her.


�No, don�t interfere. She needs his blood; she�s not strong enough yet. Without it her mind will be left all muddled, worse than a minion.�


Standing there watching the scene before him, Giles knew it was a betrayal of everything he believed in not to stop this, not to kill these monsters. But he too was desperate. He had already failed Willow miserably. If there was any chance that this could help her, he had to let them try.


Spike felt the world swimming back to him, swirling painfully around his consciousness. His head was killing him. He felt a body curled around his, and turned his head, expecting to see his new childe, Willow. However, Spike�s eyes found Drusilla instead. She let out a small giggle at the look of shock on his face, and then gently turned his head the other way so he could see the redhead laying next to him, suckling his wrist. He inched his body closer, to wrap himself around her, and was startled to find she was still warm. He listened closely and could clearly hear her heart beating.


�Dru, baby, what�s happening?� he asked in confusion.


�I�m not sure exactly. The stars told me that poppet was in danger, and that only you could save her. She needs her daddy to make her strong again.�


�The stars talk to me too now, you know,� he said, touching Drusilla�s face lightly.


�That�s because you were naughty and went and got cursed like daddy,� she admonished.


@@@@@@@@@@


Willow woke feeling cold naked bodies pressed on either side of her. For a moment she thought she was still back with Angelus and Drusilla, but when she finally opened her eyes, she saw she was in her house in Sunnydale. She lifted the covers to see who was next to her, and saw Drusilla, snuggled down low, clutching her dolly. The redhead assumed then that it could only be Angelus behind her, but when she turned her head, she was relieved to see Spike, sound asleep, nestled against her. For a moment she wished she could stay like this forever, safe, content, surrounded by the people she loved, but her bladder had other plans. So, reluctantly she pulled herself from the bed, moving quietly so as to not wake either of them.


After taking care of her urgent needs, the redhead moved to the sink to brush her teeth and wash her face. She expected she would look terrible, but aside for being a ghostly white, she looked pretty good. She had vague memories of her earlier encounter with Spike, but could find no evidence of her physical injuries, which made her wonder exactly how long she had been out. Looking again in the mirror, she could swear that her skin almost glowed, her hair was more vibrant, and her lips full and red, her eyes blazing green and slightly dilated. �Damn,� she thought, �I look good!�


She walked back into her parents� bedroom, stretching as she went, and feeling delicious. She walked over to the shade to peek out, hoping the sun had gone down so she and her vampires could take an evening stroll. She pulled back the edge of the of the heavy fabric, letting in a single beam of light, but the moment it fell across her naked skin, Willow shrieked in pain, jumping back.


Both vampires on the bed bolted up to see what was the matter, and were startled to find Willow standing naked in front of them, a thin line of smoking flesh marring her perfect form. Her eyes were wild with pain and shock as the pair of them rushed to her side, pulling her down to sit on the foot of the bed with them. They were soon joined by Giles who had bolted into the room, panting heavily, face full of concern.


�What�s happened?!� he asked as he was coming through the door, then spying Willow, his eyes flew wide, �Good lord, Willow! You�re awake!�


�Course she�s awake, stupid git. Now be a good lad and get some burn cream and bandages, she�s hurt,� Spike said forcefully.


Giles didn�t argue he was too in shock. He simply went to the bathroom to search for the necessary supplies. Meanwhile, Drusilla and Spike tried to soothe Willow, who had begun to shake uncontrollably.


�What�s happening to me? I mean I thought before that Spike was going to turn me, but then I went to pee and I had a reflection, and I can�t have a reflection if I�m a vampire. Plus I have a pulse!� she said, grabbing her wrist, �And dead people do NOT have pulses! It�s a rule, you know. So I can�t be dead. And if I�m not dead then I can�t be a vampire! That�s also a rule, I think. So why did I do the human torch thing when I opened the curtain? I mean the whole sunny day combustion thing is strictly a vamp deal, right? Right?!�


�Baby, we don�t know exactly what is happening yet,� Spike said, brushing her hair behind her ear, �but we�ll figure it out, I promise.�


�Please, just tell me,� Willow asked softly, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, �what am I?�





@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


Giles returned to the bedroom, still somewhat in shock, carrying an arm full of bandages and ointments. He looked over at the trio sitting on the foot of the bed, and seemed to notice for the first time that they were all very naked. He turned his head away, wishing he had his hands free to clean his glasses, as he held the supplies out, and cleared his throat loudly, still keeping his eyes averted.


All three creatures on the bed turned their full attention to the blushing man, but it was Willow who stood and began to walk over to him, swaying her hips seductively. She eyed the crimson flush of his skin and breathed deeply the scent of his blood rushing to the surface. She could hear his heart pounding in his chest, and knew that she could have this man, that she could tear his chest open and hold that delicate beating muscle in her hands while he died. She looked at him, but she didn�t see Giles, all she saw was food.


The redhead stalked toward the older man, licking her pouted lips, the burns across her body almost fully healed. Giles finally broke down and turned his head to face her. His heart rate jumped again, and the scent of his arousal was unmistakable. Spike let out a low growl of warning, his demon clawing its way to the surface, but Willow turned her head toward him and gave a warning growl of her own, her eyes flashing gold briefly. She turned her attention back to the man in front of her, or more specifically to the pulse in his neck.


Willow pressed her naked body up against Giles� and felt her own heart beat increase to match the frantic rhythm in the watcher�s chest. She let out a sigh of pleasure as she stood on tiptoes, feeling his unmistakable erection brush against her abdomen as she made her way toward his throat and the promise of hot, fresh blood.


Giles stood transfixed, held by the sway of the fiery creature pressing against him. Her scent was intoxicating, the heat of her flesh as he ran his hands up her arms and across her back, was scorching. He had to have her, possess her. The whole rest of the world just faded away until all that was left was Willow. Even when she gently pulled his head to the side and forced her blunt teeth into his throat, spilling his blood into her mouth with shallow gulps, it never occurred to him to object. For her, he would gladly give his life.


The contact was soon broken as Spike roughly pulled the pair apart. Dragging Willow by her hair back to the bed, he pressed his naked form against hers. His demon visage came to the fore, and he ground out a single word, �Mine.�


For a moment Giles remained almost as if in a trance, unaware and uncaring that he had cum in his pants and that his shirt was slowly being soaked by the trickle of blood spilling from his throat. Drusilla giggled in delight, and moved up to take Willow�s place. However, the moment she glided her cool tongue across the fresh wound, her face instantly transforming to that of her demon, the spell was broken, and Giles jumped back, quickly producing a cross from his pocket.


Drusilla hissed in frustration and discomfort before turning her attention to where Willow was being pinned down against the bed. �No fair!� Drusilla pouted, �Poppet got to have a taste of the pretty book man; why won�t he let me?�


�I didn�t �let� anybody taste me. Willow must have cast some sort of spell,� then glancing down in consternation he noticed the wet spot on his pants for the first time, and again turned bright red. �I need to do some research. I�ll return before the sun goes down. Excuse me.�


And with that the watcher rushed out of the room. Once he was gone, Willow�s struggles stilled somewhat without the temptation of fresh blood. As soon as she calmed, Spike loosened his grip on her, bending his head down to lick the remaining droplets of blood from her chin. He stared into her shining emerald eyes, and found peace there. For months he had suffered pure hell as his newly restored soul battled with his demon. At times he thought they would rip him apart, just as he had tried to rip the soul from his chest. But in the end all they had succeeded in doing was driving him insane. Then she had come back into his life.


The moment his demon claimed her, and she in turn made her claim on him, his burden lightened. The blonde vampire couldn�t explain it, but when Willow became whatever she now was, it was as if she took a part of his demon with her. It didn�t weaken the evil half of him, but seemed to make it easier to bear. She gave him temperance. He could smell her lingering panic over what was happening to her, but he also knew, somehow, that everything would be all right.


The blonde vampire again bent his head down, this time claiming his mate�s lips with a gentle kiss. He wanted to reassure her, bring her peace the way she had done with him. The soft kiss soon became deeper, more passionate as Willow closed her eyes and gave herself over to the sensation. Part of her had known for years that she would one day be mated to the creature slowly making love to her, but she had thought it would be as a vampire, not whatever she was becoming. She was afraid of the unknown, but as her lover plundered her mouth with his cool tongue, his hands caressing every part of her, she knew everything would be all right. She could feel him inside her, not her body, but her mind, her spirit. She could feel his demon and something more, something innocent, his soul. She didn�t know how it had happened, but she knew it was true and she could feel both of them inside her, warming her with their desire to possess her fully.


Willow arched her back up suddenly as Spike�s nimble fingers found her swollen clit, pressing three fingers into her slick folds as his thumb worked in circles around her aching nub. It wasn�t enough, she needed to have all of him inside her: body, demon, and soul. She pulled her lips away from his devouring mouth, gasping for breath.


�Spike, please��


She didn�t need to say anymore. He knew exactly what she needed. He pushed her milky thighs farther apart, and sank his rigid cock into her, one agonizing inch at a time. He wanted to go slowly, afraid he would lose control like the last time and hurt her again. Willow bucked her hips up to meet him, desperate to increase their contact, but still he wouldn�t relent. The redhead�s moans turned to whimpers as her need grew with increasing urgency, and suddenly Drusilla was there.


She had been watching the display from the chair in the corner, not wanting to interrupt such a tender moment between the little tree and her new daddy. But she had recognized the look in Willow�s eyes and knew that Spike was being too gentle. She understood he was afraid of hurting his new childe again, but still, the girl needed her release.


Drusilla positioned herself beside the pair, first giving Spike a lingering kiss, which was clearly her way of asking for an invitation to play. Spike returned the kiss with the intensity and understanding that only an old lover can give. Then, Drusilla lowered her head to kiss Willow, pleasantly surprised at how warm she still was. The dark haired beauty soon worked her way down the side of her jaw and collarbone, to finally arrive at the redhead�s flower shaped pink nipple.


Spike continued to hold himself at arms length, working himself in and out of her tight opening as he watched Drusilla swirl her cool tongue around the pink point before sucking it into her mouth. Willow gasped and shuddered at the multiple sensations she was having, both of them driving her closer to the edge. Drusilla snaked her hand down between the two writhing bodies and found Willow�s nubbin, rubbing it furiously. The girl�s hips began to buck wildly, as her orgasm came, thrusting Spike�s cock deeper inside of her as her muscles clenched tightly around him.


The sensation was too much for him, as he quickly abandoned his slow pace. The blonde vampire was close already, and he began to drive into the girl with bruising force, his passion fueled even more by the look of rapture on her face. Drusilla sat back and enjoyed the show as she pleasured herself, she had done her part and now it was time to allow them the intimacy they could only give each other.


Spike felt a low moan escaping his lips, as pounded his length into her willing entrance. Willow was keening now as well, her nails clawing up his back and arms, the ecstasy overwhelming her completely. And then suddenly he was there, and she could feel his cold essence being emptied into her, driving her over the edge again as she milked the rest of his release from him.


The pair were left in a panting heap, both too exhausted to move. Spike finally rolled them to the side to ease Willow�s breathing a bit. He reached behind him and found Drusilla�s hand, pulling her closer to spoon behind him, both of them resting their hand�s against Willow�s stomach, as they drifted back to sleep.


Unfortunately, not even a half an hour had passed before Willow woke feeling violently ill, and had to rush to the bathroom. She vomited for what seemed like an eternity, but was only really a few minutes. All that came up was blood, Giles� blood, and then it hit her; she had bitten Giles.


Both Drusilla and Spike had hung back somewhat while the pale redhead was ill, but when she slumped to the floor in tears, the pair rushed in, scooping her into strong arms and carrying her back to the bed. The rest of the afternoon was spent giving the terrified girl comforting words and soft kisses as she slipped in and out of sleep.


@@@@@@@@@@


As promised, Giles returned shortly before sunset, along with Xander. Both were carrying an armload of books and not-so-cleverly concealed weapons that made their clothes bulge oddly. Xander was very relieved to see his lifelong friend up and around, but after seeing the bite she had taken out of the watcher�s neck, he was hesitant to hug her. Willow just sat sedately on the couch in the dim living room, surrounded on either side by her vampire companions.


Giles cleared his throat several times, and cleaned his glasses twice before he began, which indicated just how flustered he was feeling. He lifted several large volumes until he found the one he wanted, switching on a table lamp so he could read a bit easier, while everyone else settled in for what would surely be a lengthy explanation.


�All right, to begin with, Xander, Anya, and I spent the day combing through the books for anything pertinent to your condition,� Giles began, almost immediately raising his hand to forestall any questions, �Only Xander and myself know the full extent of the situation. The others have been told that your parents had you moved to a private hospital, and that Xander�s encounter with Drusilla was only a nightmare. As for Spike, they are under the impression that I am keeping him bound here magically with the help of some of my more mystical friends back in England. This does not by any means resolve the situation, but it does give us a little time to work with, so I suggest we make the best of it. Now, back to the issue at hand, Willow�� he paused briefly as her green orbs turned towards him, and the memories of their earlier encounter made him flush red. �I-I-I found several vague references that may relate to your situation, but nothing specific, except one, and I�m afraid that one was a book called, �Zlobnaiya Historia� or in English, �A Wicked History�. It�s a book of Russian fairytales of sorts.�


�Fairytales?! Are you joking?! This is a REAL situation here, watcher, not some kiddie story,� Spike bellowed out in frustration, but eased down a bit when he saw the whelp pull a small crossbow out from under his jacket.


�I know it doesn�t seem like the most reliable source, but most legends and fairytales have a basis in truth, and I assure you, this one is not for children. So, shall I continue?�


�Oh goody! Do you hear that, tree? The pretty book man is going to tell us a lovely story!� Drusilla chimed in, as everyone else just groaned in dismay.


�All right then. The story takes place around 1568 when Ivan the Terrible was Tsar of Russia. It tells of how he was a cruel man, driven mad by jealousy and power. He became�um�paranoid and suspicious, and with the death of his wife, Anastasia, he finally went completely over the edge, becoming more of a monster than a ruler.


He would fall into fits of rage, and during one such incident murdered his own son and heir to the throne. But even that act was nothing compared to the creation of the �Oprichnina��Oh yes of course, they were the Tsar�s personal cavalry, said to be one of the first terrorist groups in history,� Giles glanced around the room then and saw several faces clearly telling him to get on with it and skip the little history lesson.


�But I digress�Anyway, many of the people believed that the Oprichnina were actually half man, half demon, called upon the earth by a pact made between the Tsar and the devil. They rode the countryside dressed entirely in black and riding black steeds, slaughtering countless people, rich and poor alike, for the sole purpose of spreading terror. Some even said they fed on human blood.


Then, one day, this band of killers entered an�um�enchanted wood, where one of them met a��vedma��hmm�oh yes, �witch�. She sensed the power of these half demons and determined that she must have this power for herself. The great old witch, Baba Yaga, called upon the darkest known magics that were only used for evil and vengeance, and spun the power around her like silken webs until she appeared as a raven haired beauty. In this disguise, she lured one of the demons into her, hmm that�s odd. Oh no, that�s right, there�s a picture here��


�Giles!� Willow practically yelled with her impatience.


�Oh, sorry. It literally translates to chicken house, but if you look here at the picture, it�s actually a house built on chicken legs. Anyway, she lured him into her home, and there she�um�erm�consorted with the demon, taking into her his seed and his blood, and giving her blood unto him. But unlike the peasants that disappeared in the night only to later return to their �obshchina� �um� �commune� and feed off their own families, Baba Yaga became some sort of half breed.


It was whispered among the �babushkee�, or, �grandmothers� that her heart continued to beat and her chest continued to rise and fall, but she was not human. Most believe she was no longer human before she took the demon into her bed, and this is why she was saved from becoming what he was. But she was condemned to live a half life for eternity, never knowing the joys of the sun, lusting always for the taste of blood, but only being able to drink from her demon lover. A piece of his demon now resided within her, and they were bound together for eternity.�


As Giles finished his tale, Willow felt as if she might be ill again. What did it all mean? She was what, some kind of freak? Not demon enough to be a vampire, but not human either? In fact, according to the legend she hadn�t even been human when this happened to her because of all the dark magics she had done. That�s how this all happened in the first place. Apparently she hadn�t been human for a while.


�All right, watcher, we listened to your little bedtime story, now tell us what it means,� the edge in his voice like a knife.


�It means that I don�t know exactly what Willow is any more. She is not a vampire, but she clearly isn�t human either. Some of the other books make very vague references to creatures, always referred to as female, that were spawned by blood drinkers, but seem to feed off of only their sires. They all have some sort of seductive powers, which they use to lure victims to their mates. Because of this and the fact that they are extremely rare, they are often mistaken for succubae. Most of these references go hand in hand with the accounts of witches consorting with demons, so I believe it is likely that somehow Willow�s magical endeavors played a large part in this. Now to test this theory, I would like Spike to please stand up, good. Now, punch Xander as hard as you can.�


�What! Giles, you never mentioned captain peroxide getting to punch me!�


�Oh what�s the matter Xapper, scared?� Spike said with a sarcastic grin. After the bloody scene of trying to turn Willow, he felt confident that knocking the whelp around would be no trouble.


�No I�m not scared; I just don�t want to get vamp cooties. Giles, this is your idea, let him hit you.�


�Like bloody hell I will! Now you wanted to help, so stand there and help.�


Xander stood like a good soldier, wearing a heavy scowl as Spike hit him full force in the face. Both immediately doubled over in pain, Xander gingerly holding his broken and bloodied nose, and Spike holding his temples. Willow could smell the blood pouring from her friend�s injury as could Drusilla, and it smelled delicious. They both got up from the couch and began to move closer to the now kneeling man. Xander looked up nervously at the pair and pulled the crossbow once again into his lap, pointing it at them. Giles, sensing the rising tension, stood and moved between them.


�Xander, go out to the car and bring in the cooler of blood please,� Giles paused, waiting for the younger man to leave, �As for the rest of you, I suggest you stay in the house. I now know that Spike�s chip is still in working order, which means that somehow Willow was not completely human when he attacked her.� Both Willow and Spike flinched at this statement, but the watcher didn�t seem to notice as he pressed on. �I know Willow cannot feed from humans, because as you have already informed me and the research also seems to indicate, it will only make her ill to feed from anyone but her sire. I�m not sure if this means she can only feed on blood now; you may want to try to eat something light after I go. As for Drusilla, I suggest you leave. I would stake you myself here and now, but you have shown genuine concern for Willow, and she for you, and I wouldn�t want to cause her any more distress tonight by killing her friend. However, if Buffy discovers you are in town, she will not be so forgiving, so it�s better if you just leave,� he gave the dark vampire a hard stare to show he meant business, then turned back to Willow. �Rest assured, Willow, I have not finished with this. I do not approve of leaving you here at the mercies of this�creature�you have taken into your bed. But for the moment, it seems that to do otherwise is to put you in greater danger. Please be very careful around him, and know that I will do everything I can to reverse this situation. For now, however, I must go. There are other creatures needing to be dealt with and I�m afraid of what course of action Buffy might take if left to her own devices.�


Seeing that Xander had returned with the blood, he motioned for it to be placed on the coffee table and the pair of them left, Xander giving a weak wave to Willow, unsure about leaving his friend behind with a pair of killers. Then a little voice in his head reminded him that she too was a killer and no longer human, but he smacked that voice down, not wanting to hear it.


Once they were alone again, Spike moved behind his fiery princess, pulling her back against him and wrapping his arms tightly around her, as he eyed Drusilla mischievously.


�About time that old sod and stupid git got out of here. Finally we can get back to the shagging,� he crooned in Willow�s ear, leading her shaken form back upstairs for some cold comfort, followed by Drusilla.


Spike woke to the now familiar pull of Willow attached to his throat, slowly sucking down his blood in her sleep. He pulled her head back slowly, careful not to wake her, and chuckled softly as her lips continued to move slightly, unaware that they were no longer feeding. She was beyond beautiful, much more than a princess. She was a goddess, and she was his now, forever.


The last week had been hard on both of them. Spike had sent Drusilla home, where she would be safe, and he and Willow had spent most of the rest of their time researching the changes that were happening to her. Just when they thought they knew the full extent of her transformation, a new development would occur. Giles had asked them to keep a detailed account of any changes so they could later be recorded for posterity. This of course had made Spike furious that his mate was being treated like a bug in a jar, but Willow understood the watcher�s reasoning. If this situation were to happen to some other girl in the future, she was all too happy to provide any information she could to make the transition easier than hers had been.


For the most part her changes had been beneficial, increased strength, speed, and healing that would rival any vampire. She also noticed a marked increase in her magical abilities, and hadn�t had a single spell backfire since the change. Plus, she now had some sort of physical allure that worked on men and women alike, only supernatural creatures and other powerful witches seemed to be immune. This new ability was a mixed blessing so far. Willow had yet to learn how to control it, and found that whenever the hunger awoke in her, she was just as helpless to resist the power as the people who flocked to her like moths to a flame, happy to give their lives to feed her hunger. After a couple incidents of being nearly gang raped while out for a walk, Willow had learned that the problem was less likely to occur if she had had a good feeding from Spike before going out.


That was where the problems began. Spike was all too happy to feed his mate whenever, and however much she needed. Unfortunately, he had to consume three times as much blood as before to keep the two of them going. The redhead did still continue to eat regular food, but at times her blood lust seemed insatiable. Both had come to understand why she had developed the ability to lure victims to her mate, because in any other situation Spike would have gladly welcomed the extra food to satisfy the needs of his mate. However, with the chip still active, this ability so far had proved to be more of a hindrance than a help.


Of course, the other main problem that had developed was the girl�s new reaction to the sun. It was unknown if the sun would turn her to dust like a vampire with enough exposure, no one was interested in experimenting on this point. It was enough for all of them to know that it would burn her the instant it touched her skin. The smaller, more cosmetic changes, such as paler skin, and eyes that flashed gold whenever Willow became angry, did not seem that big of a deal. However, when she grew a petite set of fangs on the third day, Willow was panic stricken that everyone she met would instantly recognize that she was some kind of freak.


It took quite some effort for Spike to calm her and convince her that the razor sharp points were barely noticeable, and in his opinion were quite fetching. The truth was, of all her changes, this one pleased him the most. He had always been aroused when she had bit into him, but the new fangs made her bite deeper somehow more intoxicating. Not to mention, they also served as a reminder that she belonged to him, a mark of possession for all the world to see. Willow did not enjoy them one bit however. She was constantly nicking her tongue or her lip on the sharp points, and kissing Spike had become a hazardous endeavor. He assured her that in time she would grow accustomed to them, and these problems would cease, but for now she hated them and spent hours in front of the bathroom mirror just staring at what a freak she now was.


Sadly, Giles had broken down on the fourth day after her change had begun, and told the rest of the Scoobies what was really happening. After all, they would have to learn the truth eventually anyway, Willow and Spike couldn�t be held hostage forever. Of course the whole lot of them had showed up on the redhead�s doorstep, demanding to be let in. Buffy had led the group, determined to find some excuse to stake Spike and prove that Willow was now in fact an evil vampire so she could stake her as well. But when they arrived, not only did Buffy have to come to terms with the fact that while her friend was no longer human, she was not the evil dead either and therefore could not be staked, but she also had to accept that Spike now had a soul and as much as she hated it, it would be like staking Angel for no reason and even Buffy wasn�t that much of a hypocrite.


Most of the others handled the news better than Buffy. Dawn thought it was cool to have her favorite vamp back in town, especially now that he wasn�t evil anymore, and thought it was horribly romantic that he and Willow would be mated for eternity. Xander was still not happy about the situation, but he loved Willow, and was willing to do whatever it took to give her the support she needed. Anya didn�t see what the big deal was, and simply suggested to Giles that they start keeping the Magic Box open twenty-four hours a day, and have Willow take the graveyard shift. Amy and Tara were content with the knowledge that they were immune to Willow�s new powers and were happy to have a new witch to cast with. Oz had not been happy at all. He had let out a disgusted growl at the sight of Willow sitting in her lover�s lap, and Spike had returned his growl with one of his own, pulling the redhead tighter against him.


Since that day, no one had come to the house. Giles had insisted that they be given their space until they were ready to associate with the others again. Tonight was to be the first night that Willow was going to return to the magic box. Spike had offered to go with her, but she had wanted to do it by herself. She loved him, but knew that they couldn�t spend every minute of eternity together, or she would most likely stake him herself.


Spike ran a nice bath while he made her a large bowl of cocoa puffs. She would need a real feeding before she left for the night, but she seemed to feel better about the first feeding of the day if she had something normal, something human, to eat first. Spike threw a few packets of blood into the microwave before running the cereal up to Willow. He always loved watching her when she first woke. Before, when she was human, it had been a rare occasion that he would wake before her, but since the change she had adapted to a nocturnal lifestyle rather nicely. She was often grumpy at first when he woke her, pouting and sticking out her bottom lip in a way that he could only describe as adorable. Of course the sugared cereal seemed to help ease the transition of waking quite a bit. He didn�t know when she had abandoned the awful health food trip, but he was glad she had. Frankly that tofu stuff gave him a bit of the wiggins.


Spike drank down all three hot packets of blood while she was finishing off her chocolaty goodness. He felt almost too full, as he covered a belch, not wanting to offend Willow with his bad eating habits. Truth was, normally he would have only had one packet of blood, but with the redhead constantly feeding off of him, he needed to consume quite a bit more to keep his strength up. Giles was hopeful that her hunger would subside somewhat, once the change was complete. Spike hoped he was right, but until then he was content to do whatever it would take to keep her satisfied.


The blonde vampire finished his blood and headed into the bathroom, climbing into the hot bath and letting out a sigh as the heat soaked into his cold flesh. He turned the tap off with his big toe, sinking down into the bubbles and warmth until he was covered up to his chin. He called out for Willow to join him, and watched with an expression of wonder as the red haired beauty entered the bathroom in just her knickers and one of his old T-shirts.


�Finish undressing and get in the tub, pet,� he instructed, not a demand, but not an invitation either, as an evil grin quirked on his lips.


Willow had a sudden flash of d�j� vu as she looked at him, stretched leisurely in the tub, one hand stroking his chest lightly, the other reaching out to her. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he had first uttered those words to her. She had been so terrified the first time, and yet here she was, countless baths later. If she had known back then what the future held for her, the horror, the heartache, if she had known then, would she still have gone to him that first time, or would she have turned and run, taking her chances with his minions? Willow looked deep into his eyes, and saw that the fierceness of that first night was still there, but now there was something more, love. He loved her, really loved her, and would do anything for her. It was like something she had only read about in fairytales as a child, and never really expected to find in real life. But it was here, and despite all the hardships she had faced to get there, she couldn�t turn her back on him for anything. They truly belonged together.


�Are you all right, luv?� Spike asked with concern as he watched Willow stand frozen, lost in thought.


�Hmmm? Oh, yeah, I�m fine.�


�Then finish undressing and get in the tub.�


�If I don�t, will you come over here and throw me in?� she asked, trying to stifle a giggle.


�What?� Spike asked, confused for a moment, and then the memory hit him and he began to laugh as well. �We have really been through a lot since that first night, huh?�


�We have,� she said softly, pulling the T-shirt over her head, and slipping off her panties. She stood for a moment, frozen by the look on his face.


�Cor�, pet, you are still an absolute vision to behold.�


Willow climbed into the hot water then, letting out a moan as it eased her stiff muscles. The feeling of her pressing her back against his chest made Spike moan as well. This was truly how things were meant to be. With a coy smile, the redhead handed him a sponge and gave herself over to the sensation of Spike�s gentle hands washing her shoulders arms and chest. He soon abandoned the sponge, taking one pink nipple between his fingers and twisting it gently, his other hand trailing down into the hot water to find her core.


Willow gasped as he found her swollen nub and began rubbing it in slow circles. She could feel his need pressing into her back, as her breath began to come in short gasps. Her release hit her hard, like an explosion inside her, stretching out to every part of her until all that was left was boneless limbs. She was vaguely aware of Spike planting light kisses along her neck and shoulders, his erection pressing more insistently into her lower back.


She turned then, so that she was on her knees straddling him. She looked down into his reverent eyes, and kissed him, tongues gently probing, not looking for dominance, just exploring. They tried to be careful around Willow�s new fangs, but the lovers were still adjusting to them and both soon suffered small cuts on their lips and tongues. The wounds would quickly heal, but for the moment the taste of fresh blood only added to the passion of the kiss. As Willow continued to kiss the blonde vampire, she reached down between their bodies, taking his hard shaft in her tiny hand and positioning him at her opening. Spike let out another soft moan that was swallowed by the kiss, but it soon became an audible gasp as she lowered herself onto him, sheathing him in her tight heat.


She was scalding, even compared to the steaming water surrounding them. Willow began a slow rocking pace, raising up until he was almost completely out of her, before lowering herself onto him again. She moved tortuously slow, sighing with pleasure as he raised himself up to take one of her nipples into his mouth. He bit down gently on the point, his hands moving to her hips to help guide her and quicken her pace to match his growing need. Spike moved his assault to her other nipple, his fingers digging into her hips as he felt himself nearing his release. He ran one thumb down to again find her clit, stroking the hard nub as their bodies continued to rock together. Soon her legs began to shake as her second orgasm took hold of her. She could no longer move as a keening wail escaped her lips. Spike continued to pound into her, easily able to lift her weight without her help. Soon the shaking spread through her whole body, as his demon took over, and he sunk his fangs into her tender throat, his thumb still working her clit until her orgasm began to reach the level of pain, her muscles clamping down repeatedly on his engorged cock. Finally it hit him, and he exploded inside her, his head rearing back, and a load roar escaping his blood coated lips.


When it was over, Willow collapsed on top of her lover unable to move. Spike also was at a loss for a moment or two, but finally the pair pulled apart, and continued to get ready. Willow didn�t want to be late to her first night back at work, and Spike had decided to take a quick patrol around a couple of the cemeteries to see if he could scrounge up a spot of violence. It was mighty distracting for him though, watching her dress, when all he wanted to do was rip her clothes off of her again. He knew she needed to have some time for herself, and was trying hard to respect this need, but it wasn�t easy. If it were up to him, they would spend every minute together for the rest of eternity. Willow finally decided on a black halter-top and matching black and white plaid mini-skirt, followed by petite black combat boots. Spike of course stuck with the classics, black jeans, black T-shirt, black boots, and his new short black leather jacket.


Together they made quite the monochrome pair as Willow pulled on her black zip-up hooded sweatshirt. Spike sat on the end of the bed, still watching her. When she was finished she climbed up into his lap, straddling his legs again, and kissing him gently, this time without either of them suffering a single cut from her fangs, and she pulled back and smiled proudly at her accomplishment. Spike smiled a toothy grin back at her, and pulled her head to his throat. He let out a loud sigh as the twin points bit into his flesh. Willow gulped down his blood greedily, wishing it was still warm. Often she liked to feed immediately after he did, so the blood didn�t have a chance to grow cold, but often even then it was lukewarm at best. Still, there was a power to it, that she could feel coursing through her every time she fed, and it was completely intoxicating. As she continued to pull the cool liquid into her mouth, she could feel Spike growing hard beneath her as he often did when she fed. His hands grabbed her hips, grinding his erection into her, but regretfully she was in a hurry. Her hunger finally sated, she pulled back from him, climbing off his lap, only to hear Spike groan in frustration, throwing himself back on the bed.


�Sorry, baby, but I gotta go or I�m going to be late. I promise to jump your bones later though,� she offered with a grin.


�I will count the minutes,� he said, jumping up to brush a chaste kiss across her lips, and watching sadly as she grabbed her keys and left.


@@@@@@@@@@


�You�re late,� Anya quipped as Willow came through the magic box door.


�Only five minutes,� Willow replied in frustration.


�Yes, well it�s just that kind of corporate sabotage that leads to faulty production and the overall destruction of capitalism!�


�What?� Willow asked in confusion.


�Nothing, but I�m taking the five minutes out of your paycheck.�


�Oh, Anya, really,� Giles sighed as he came out from the back, �I don�t think Willow being five minutes late is really going to lead to the end of the American way. Why don�t you just help her get started on the inventory for now.�


Three hours later, the inventory was almost done. Anya and Giles were both off helping customers, and Willow was finishing off the last of the more dangerous books on black magic, which were kept on the balcony, when she noticed a particularly large volume she hadn�t noticed before. She was fairly familiar with all the texts kept in the store, and was curious and excited to find a new book to look through. She took a moment to flip through it, and soon came upon a summoning spell. The spell was very powerful, and could be used to call any object to you, making it simply materialize in front of you.


For the last few days Willow had wanted to find a spell that would remove Spike�s chip. It was wrong for him to be saddled with such a device, making it impossible for him to even defend himself against humans. Plus, now that he had his soul back, it was unlikely that he was planning any killing sprees. She quickly read through the description of the spell, and felt sure that it would do the trick nicely. She jotted down the incantation and list of ingredients on her note pad, before slipping the book back on the shelf and finishing her work.


It was after one in the morning when Willow finally made her way through the door. She was greeted by the sight of a candle light dinner, and Spike holding a bunch of white cal lilies. The couple happily ate and discussed her first evening back at work. Spike told her of his night�s adventures and the three vamps he had dusted, topped off by the little green Snerzit demon he managed to behead with its own sword.


After dinner they took a leisurely walk, and held hands like any normal couple in love. Willow wanted to tell Spike about the spell she had found, but didn�t want to get his hopes up. Instead, she waited for him to fall asleep sometime just before dawn, and prepared to cast the incantation before he woke, wanting to surprise him.


Spike, who had been thoroughly exhausted from a night of fighting and shagging, slept soundly through all the preparations. In fact, Willow thought for a moment he may just sleep through the whole thing, but she was worried that he might wake up part way through, so she did a little sleep spell on him before she began.


The redhead was very happy that her recent changes had increased her magical abilities, because even with the energy boost, the spell was a tricky one and was taking every ounce of her concentration to direct it properly. The hard part was not conjuring the chip to her. The hard part was making it dematerialize and rematerialize in her hand, rather than it simply being ripped from his head. Willow rocked slightly as she chanted the ancient words, feeling energy crackle through the room as pressure began to build in her head.


Her temples were pounding, her mind screaming. Willow focused on grinding out the last few words of the spell through clenched teeth, while the mystical forces she was building painfully tore through her body. She released the spell in a wash of energy, flowing directly into Spike. His eyes shot open in panic, not able to comprehend what was happening as his body was lifted right off the bed, a blue glow surrounding him, bleeding into him until his eyes were nothing but blue flame.


Willow collapsed to the floor, blood pouring from her nose, eyes, and ears. She limply reached her hand out toward her lover, uttering the final word of the spell. There was a large popping noise as a rush of power washed back out of Spike. Willow felt something small suddenly appear in her hand and looked down to see the chip there, and then everything went black.


@@@@@@@@@@


�Willow?! Willow?! Are you okay?!� Spike practically screamed as he tried to shake her awake.


�S-Spike? What�s going on?�


�That�s what I want to know, pet. Are you all right?�


�Wow, well aside from the guy with the jack hammer in my head, yeah I think so.�


Spike helped her sit up, watching as something small fell from her hand. He picked up the small piece of silicon with wires coming off of it and stared at it curiously, before holding it up in front of her.


�What�s this, luv?�


�Your chip.�


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