| Next comes the ultimate treachery to the Serpent. Dieting. A billion different kinds of diets exist and I�ve tried a good number of them. There was the cereal-bars-and-water diet � real nutritious. Then there was the canned-soup diet. One can only take so many chunks of canned chicken. The Subway diet is a good one, but an expensive one. But how can anyone pass up the opportunity to eat so many subs? I mean, look at that guy on the commercial! I bet his wallet is a lot slimmer too. My mother and I tried the Grapefruit Diet together. I�m sure it�s healthy and it works, but saltines and cottage cheese aren�t all that delectable to me. I�ve found that the best way to diet is to eat healthy foods that I like. I hunt for the low-fat versions of my favorite foods at the grocery store. At a restaurant, I�ll order a healthy entr�e and tell the waiter I want the sauce served on the side. Calorie-counting becomes a neurotic habit, part of the weight-loss religion. The demon has been vanquished. A fleeting happiness is achieved and the pounds start to shed. Sometimes it�s five pounds, sometimes 10. I�ll feel great about myself. I�ll get Mom to take me shopping, because now all of my pants are big and I need new shirts to go with the new pants. Reveling in the blessings that go along with losing weight, I�m more apt to go out with my friends to eat, to shop or to watch a movie. Heck, it�s okay if I skip a day or two of exercise each week. People keep complimenting me on how great I look, so it isn�t like it�s making much of a difference. Guys are even glancing my way now, asking to take me out to dinner. The Serpent is resurrected. Temptation comes in many forms, and in weight loss, it also comes frequently. A slice of pizza here, chicken strips and fries there, and soon I�m scorning myself for my weakness. I�m sinful. But the battle isn�t over. I�ll start making promises. I�m only allowed 10 fried things a month and no more pizza for the rest of September. I offer this sacrifice as penance. Exercise is no longer a part of my schedule, because, uh, I�m busy with classes. Yeah, that�s it! Only I�m not busy with classes. I can feel my inner thighs jiggle again. There�s a devil on both shoulders now and the Serpent has injected its venom. Soon, those new pants are fitting rather snugly, and after a big meal, I�ll feel the yearning to unbutton them. They don�t look as good as they did when I bought them, but maybe it�s just that they�re newly washed, or maybe it�s the lighting or the mirror or � my lard-ass. They are hung in my closest the next time they are washed and next time I opt for the �fat pants� that I swore I�d never wear again, my Marilyn Monroe size 14�s. Ahh � That�s better. And they�re kind of loose. �Plenty of room to expand,� the demon grins. The battle, inevitably and invariably, is lost. I retreat to my cravings and my binges, my chips and pudding, and I debate with the Devil about what toppings to order on the pizza. Instead of scheduling time at the gym, I sit at home, with self-pity and a pack of Chips Ahoy. I make my prayers and wait for the next turn of the cycle. Meanwhile, the demon preens and congratulates itself. I�m reluctant, but I�m possessed. |
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| propaganda My Worldview 5.26.98 Maligayang Bati 10.5.00 The Devil, the Grape- fruit Diet and Fat Pants 11.14.00 Lies: Kid-tested, Mother-approved 8.6.01 |
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