(Page 2)
Mary [Shiff] Francis
(c) 2000
Mickey and I live in a three-bedroom house so we have a bedroom for my stuff, a bedroom for Mickey�s stuff, and a bedroom for us to share a bed in when we are so inclined, which has been pretty much every night since we moved in here. Sometimes my former traditional self looks down on my present free-spirit self and says, �Good Heavens, Girl!� but I�m getting in the habit of ignoring that voice. My therapist says that my inner child has not kept up with my growth. Maybe it would help if I told that kid to get out more, to see the world, to stop hiding in musty corners. Maybe it�s a good thing that�s the only child I have. Anyway, I slept in my room, Alice slept in Mickey�s room, and Mumsie slept in the bed that Mickey and I share in the third bedroom. If Mumsie had known what really went on in that bed, she would have slept on the floor rather than risk picking up any latent lesbian germs that might be lurking in the mattress stuffing.
Mumsie has given up on her dream of marrying Alice to a wealthy attorney. It may be that she likes having Alice live with her. It may be that she has decided no attorney is capable of appreciating her number one daughter. It certainly is not because Alice told Mumsie to back off. Alice wouldn�t dare say �boo� to a deaf goose. But Alice does have enough nerve to tell me that it is up to me to get married and carry on the family line. I asked Mickey how she felt about children. She said they were fine as long as they belonged to other people. I agree. And why would I want to bring into the world a creature that could turn out to be just like Mumsie or Alice or me? Mickey and I take our birth control pills regularly�we do live in LA, after all, and the streets are dangerous. And we like knowing exactly when our periods will start and end. We�ve even got them synchronized to the same week.
Alice wanted to spend a day on the beach. She said that�s what New Yorkers do when they go to California: lie on the beach. Except that this is November and the water is icy cold and the shore breeze is so chilly Alice would end up with goose bumps bigger than the tiny breasts she is so proud of. I admire that in her. She doesn�t let anyone dent her body image.
Mumsie wanted to visit the wineries and sample their products. I reminded her that she doesn�t approve of alcohol.
�It�s not alcohol. It�s just wine to be used for medicinal purposes. My doctor says that a small glass at bedtime every evening will settle my nerves so I will relax and go to sleep. And it will work great to keep my bowel movements regular, too�especially when I�m traveling.�
Alice said she wouldn�t mind visiting a winery or two if it really was too cold to spend a day on the beach. We occasionally get beach weather for a few hours after lunch this time of year, but this week we are having cooler than normal temperatures. I happen to know of a little winery on the back road to Ventura; it�s owned by the movie star who played Davy Crockett on TV way back in the dark ages. All I had to say was �Davy Crockett� and Mumsie and Alice were ready to go. Like he would personally serve the wine.
We stowed the extra blanket from the guest bed in the back seat of my car along with Mumsie�s emergency travel supplies: sunscreen, umbrella, toilet tissue, facial tissue, small towel, small package of sanitized moisturized towelettes, hat with a large floppy brim, jacket, water bottle, spare fold-up shopping bag. I had opened the trunk to stash everything there, but Mumsie said, �Not there, Molly. We won�t be able to get at things if we have an accident. We need them in the car with us.� That didn�t leave much room for Alice in the back seat, but she snuggled in. Mumsie settled herself in the front seat, and we took off. And Alice started singing, �Da-vy, Da-a-vy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier.� I waited for birds to faint and the sky to cloud over. Lightening should have struck her dead. Nothing happened. Then Mumsie joined in, �Kil�t him a b�ar when he was only three. Da-vy, Da-a-vy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier.� And we hadn�t even tasted any wine yet.
I survived the drive to the winery. After the singers had proven beyond doubt that they had no talent, they settled into a conversation about old television shows. I even managed to contribute a few bits of I Love Lucy trivia, which surprised me as much as it surprised Mumsie and Alice. Mickey will be glad to hear that I profited from the day she dragged me to Universal Studios and read me every sign and placard in the Lucy display.
The winery was open and ready for tasters. We stood along the counter, feeling slightly dazed by the number of bottles to choose from. The man behind the counter tried to help, �This is one of our finest Merlots�full-bodied flavor, slightly fruity, and very smooth.� He poured some into three small glasses. We sipped and tried to look knowingly at each other.
�What year is it?� Mumsie asked. I nearly choked. Alice turned red and looked at her toes. Her fingers trembled slightly.
�1998,� the young man responded quickly.
�It�s a good year,� Mumsie replied, �But I�ve heard that the �97�s are better.�
I coughed. Alice turned redder. The man disappeared into the back room and returned with a new bottle. He set it on the counter and picked up the corkscrew. I have seen a waiter open a bottle in what seems like one smooth twist and pull, but this guy was the smoothest ever. In no time he was pouring the wine into three clean glasses. He waved at the small bowl of crackers and we properly cleansed our palates before we reached for our glasses. He handed the cork to Mumsie. She must have been watching the right movies on television because she coolly took the cork between her fingers and wafted it back and forth under her nose. I was impressed. Alice stared with her mouth slightly open.
We sipped in silence after waving the glasses under our noses to capture the bouquet and then swishing the first sip around in our mouths so we could revel in the smooth flavor. We probably looked like mimes in a silent movie. But we were starting to have a good time. From the full-bodied reds we skipped back to the dry whites�a couple of fine Chardonnays we should have started with instead of the reds but we hadn�t planned on more than a couple of tastes�and then sampled a slightly sweet Rose. �Ah-h-h,� Mumsie purred as she held her glass up to the light, �the skins were removed at just the right moment.�
�Skins?� Alice asked.
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