(Page 4)
Mary [Ekholm] Francis
(c) 1997
�Take Mom to look at some of the new places. They�re not like the old nursing homes where people went to rest a while before they died. These new places work hard to keep people alive and happy and feeling good about themselves.� Carl paused a moment and frowned. �I was so angry with Joanne when she put her mother in a home. I wanted her mother to move in with us and be part of our family, but Joanne said that her mother deserved to have friends and a life of her own. I thought Joanne was crazy; how could she think her mother would have any kind of a life in a place like that?� Carl shook his head and smiled at Carolyn. �When I finally went to the home to visit her mother, I was amazed by the change in her. She smiled and laughed easily, and her eyes sparkled as she told me about all the outings she had been a part of. When she was alone, her wheelchair had kept her quietly at home. Suddenly she had access to a van with a lift, and she was all over town. It was wonderful to see her so alive, Caro, and I want that for Mom.�
�Our Mom is not like Joanne�s mother. Our Mom has never been a social butterfly and isn�t interested in doing the town. Our Mom wants to stay quietly at home with her cat.�
�Oh, Carolyn. You take me so literally. You�re just being stubborn. What if Connie and I are right? What if it would be best for Mom to get out of this place? It�s natural for her to be afraid to leave everything that is familiar and go somewhere new, but we need to encourage her to overcome that fear instead of letting it keep her cooped up here.�
�And what about the cat?�
�Can�t you take the cat?�
�He has accidents. Would you take him?�
�He�s old; we could have him put to sleep.�
�That would make Mom really happy, wouldn�t it?�
�A home for old cats?�
�Even if there were such a thing, he couldn�t go there. Remember when Mom and I were going to fly to Dallas to spend a few days with Connie and her family and then fly to Boston to see you and Joanne and the rest? Mom went to your place alone because I had to fly home and rescue Andy from the boarding kennel; he was so miserable that they called and told us he was dying of a broken heart. He was miserable at my place, too, so I had to bring him back here and visit him every day to feed him and assure him that Mom was coming home soon.�
�Have you thought about moving in with Mom?�
�Yes. And I can�t. I don�t have time to do everything she needs done, and, much as I love Mom, I�m not willing to give the kind of personal help she needs. Connie just lectured me about Mom becoming my baby. I hate to admit it, but she�s right when she says I should be a helpful daughter instead of a mothering daughter or a nursing daughter.� Carolyn looked up at Carl and raised her eyebrows, �Would you let Mom move in with you?�
�No, because I think she would be much happier in a home with people her age.�
�I think she�d be happier in her own home with her cat.�
�I�ve been banging my head against a brick wall for the last hour, haven�t I?�
�Why not try keeping Mom here? If it doesn�t work, we can move her somewhere.�
�Hey, you two!� Connie popped her head through the doorway, �Mom wants to know if you�re going to have coffee with us. We�re ready for refills and you haven�t even sat down yet.�
�We�re coming right now,� Carolyn said as she picked up the coffee pot and two cups. She pretended not to notice when Connie raised her eyebrows and Carl answered no with a slight shake of his head. They followed her out to the living room.
�I hear you�re ready for a second cup,� Carolyn smiled at her mother as she refilled her cup. Then she filled cups for herself and Carl and emptied the pot into Connie�s cup.
�You were talking about me,� Ruth said. �This is my house, and I�m staying in it.� She looked up at Carolyn and added, �You promised.�
Carolyn blushed and sipped her coffee. Then she looked into her mother�s eyes and replied, �I�m trying to keep my promise.�
�Trying?�
�Yes, Mom. I�m trying very hard.�
Ruth carefully set her cup on the small table by the end of the sofa. �I�m going to lie down for a little rest before supper. Leave the cups, Connie. We can wash them with the supper dishes. Why don�t you three go for a nice walk or something if you don�t care to rest, too?� Ruth reached for the handles on her walker.
Carolyn ached to help her mother get to her feet, but she knew better than to offer help when Connie and Carl were in the room. Since Carl�s offer had been refused earlier, he didn�t offer again. Connie gripped her coffee cup with both hands and touched her lips to the rim of the cup, but she didn�t drink. Carolyn knew that, if Ruth slipped, Connie would drop the cup and leap to her feet..
The squeak of the walker seemed to echo through the silence in the living room as Ruth slowly headed for her bedroom. They heard her door latch. Then they heard the cat screech. And then they heard a thump.
�Momma!� Carolyn whispered as she dashed toward the bedroom. Her voice returned as she opened the bedroom door. �Momma?�
Ruth sat on the floor near the foot of her bed, �I�m okay. I can�t go. I won�t go. Is Andy okay? I won�t go, Carolyn. I can�t.� Tears ran down her pale, wrinkled cheeks.
Carolyn knelt on the floor and gently wrapped her arms around her mother, �You don�t have to, Momma. You don�t have to.�
Connie and Carl stood in the doorway. Connie opened her mouth, then shut it when Carl lay his hand on her arm and shook his head. He looked at Carolyn and said, �We�ll talk later.� As he backed away, he pulled Connie with him and shut the door.
�Carolyn?�
�It�s okay, Momma.� Carolyn tightened her arms around her mother and rocked her gently. �It�s okay, Momma. Let�s get you up on the bed for a little rest before supper.� But the two of them stayed on the floor, hugging and rocking and crying, while Andy lay next to Ruth and purred.
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