I could have been
should have been
perhaps was
his love
my vanity says
only I feel it-
what he was trying to say
with all of that awe.
I would have made him bigger
than his wildest dreams
(because only I get it)
only I feel what he means with that blueness
and detail
Lusting after dead painters
feels righteous
these days
For in death all is honest
while in life one's art
comes with alterior motives
that I have trouble
swallowing.