JOURNAL OF DEREK RAYNEDay 3
Doubt this is legible, I write in total blackness - hands don’t want to work at all - nothing does. Have made it to ledge at last, but it’s bittersweet. I now know that it’s 50 km to main rd and that I’ve traveled 130 since leaving the mine, but I don’t know how many days it’s taken, nor how long it’s been since I’ve eaten. If I lost no days from the berries, then it’s been 16 days since Father died and 1 week since the last of my food - and I’ve averaged 8 km per day. This means another week until I make it to the road. God help me find more strength from somewhere.
Am sitting on reasonably dry, but cold rock. I’ve spread my clothes in the rain to try to wash them off - tried the same for myself without much benefit that I could tell. Decided to try to get my boots off - may have been a mistake. Took most of the skin and some meat with them. Don’t know how I shall ever get the things back on, but at least they and my feet will be somewhat washed. However, if cleanliness is next to godliness, I must already be at the gates of hell.
Though the weather is still reasonably warm, I’m always chilled. I feel like prehistoric man must have felt before the discovery of fire. I sit here in darkness totally alone and listen to the sounds of the vast, primordial forest. I am naked, cold, filthy, hungry, and stink of infection. God knows how far away another human being is.
Am down to only 2 water purification tablets. At dusk I caught a small lizard. I found the remains of the fire that Father had built here (such a dismal sight) and thought to do the same, since I still have matches in a waterproof box. But I lacked dry fuel. I tore about 30 pp out of the notebook and journals, plus as much semi-dry fabric and padding as I could find in my jacket. It all caught, but it burned so quickly that there was no way that it would cook the lizard, so I ended up eating the thing raw. I am once again paying for my dietary habits. Although it didn’t stay down, it gave me violent cramps, amongst other things.
Am truly beginning to weaken - more than just fatigue. I have a bad cough and occasionally the shivers. I don’t know that I’ll be able to walk at all. I tried a while ago when the effects of the lizard hit me, but almost passed out from the pain. I never knew anything could hurt so bad. I may be crawling tomorrow. If I do make it to the main road, I pray there will be someone there. It’s not exactly the Autobahn. This may be my last entry.
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