Derek Rayne, Ph.D.
Precept
San Francisco Legacy House
Angel Island, CA
To Fr. Joseph Thomas
12 Nov. 6pm
Joseph,
Sorry for the scrawl - time's short - it's happening now. I hope this makes sense. Computers & communications destroyed - you'll know that. Likely my last chance to write. I'll put this in my bedroom safe, which is supposedly fireproof & hope it's found amidst the rubble. I'd give it to Nick or Alex, but I plan to give Nick my ring. If I give them this as well, they'll guess. I cannot risk their interference. I place with this note the small Vermeer from my bedroom. It's for my mother - painted in her house in 1661. She gave it to me so I'd never forget that was home too. It's right that it should be the one thing I myself try to save.
I've managed to get a few things out - by the servants' entrance, so to speak. Dominick Fitzgerald will know the details. I arranged through him to have one of our maids, Aurelia Perez, whom we had from a half-way house, to leave each day with her purse & pockets full of designated items. She's done jail time for shoplifting, but she's a good woman who needed a fresh start. She was a godsend for me. I doubt the Darkside spies ever gave her a 2nd thought - nothing more than a petty thief after their own hearts. We all owe her much.
Satan's filthy, little minions no longer conceal their presence. They prepare. They assaulted Alex & have taken the sepulchres, which they've hidden somewhere near the portal chamber. I felt their power when Alex & I went down to find the Rosicrucian Cross. Neither the cross, nor the incantation, will do me much good - but the translation of the Golgotha text has given me that hoop to jump through, so through it I must go. It may be potent enough to offer me a little advantage, I suppose.
I know that at the end I shall face the "creature" who pretends to be my father, or who is my father. It's only logical that they'll throw him at me again. It no longer matters what he is. I just pray I have the strength to resist his siren's song one last time. It's the only fear & doubt left to me. If I succumb, perhaps the House will be enough.
I sent Nick off for more C4, which, along with the computers, has kept him occupied. Will set charges soon. I'll have Nick rig timed detonators with a manual override, but he won't know that the ones I set myself will have a manual detonation as well - to deal with portal itself. I'll scatter a few elsewhere for good measure. I now bless Maj. Boyle for being a hard task master. He once told me that he wanted to make sure that if I ever wanted to blow up London House, I'd damned well know how to do it right. A touch of the "Sight"?
I planted the suicide idea with Rachel. It wasn't hard - all I had to do was tell her what I've felt a thousand times over. If they ask the right questions, she'll have to tell them. I've set her & Alex to work reconsecrating the house, but it will do no good. It's far too contaminated. It bleeds evil. Both it & I are a lost cause. Once the explosives are set, I'll get them out of the house. Once that's done, I pray things continue to move rapidly. If the Darkside slows it's efforts, I don't know how I'll keep them away - a locked door won't do it. I wish I had a way to lure them off the island, or at least keep them busy. I'm totally dependant upon the Darkside's actions. All I can do is wait for the moment & be ready.
It's so strange - I'm utterly exhausted & exhilarated all at the same time. I've never known such calm clarity of thought - such certainty about what must be done. Time races by, but in slow motion. I feel as though I am both the actor and the audience - one half of my mind doing, the other half observing. Somehow it's a relief - it's liberating to know that for me there will never be another dawn, another meal, another decision of what tie to wear - no more games to occupy a restless mind - no more losses. My soul wishes for nothing more than the long sleep of oblivion. Such a simple wish. Pray that God grants it for me.
He's here ----
Time's up. I just had a visitor - that demonic bastard! 2 sides of the same coin, indeed. Always the same song - join me now, share the power. Hell, it even rhymes. He set my bed afire. I have no idea why I even bothered to put it out.
Joseph - thank you for your counsel in London. It helped more than you'll ever know. You were right to convince me to do K2 - I needed that adventure & that cleansing - that 1st step in letting go of this life. You might be what Nick calls a "hard ass", but you're a good man for a Rosicrucian. Thank you for giving me the last sacrament. It's odd how, at the end, one turns to the rituals learned in childhood. I suppose it's a tying of loose ends. Look after my team - protect them from the feeding frenzy that's sure to follow. Throw whatever muck you have to upon me, but keep them clear. They'll be vulnerable & they're far too valuable to waste. I guess I'll soon know the whole truth.
Good-bye, my friend,
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