Tues - 3am
It's hopeless. No sleep tonight - again. Damn, but it's cold. Stuck my nose outside - it's pea soup. I'd go for a run, but in this shit, I'd fall & break a leg for sure, or one of the rent-a-cops would shoot me. Guess I'll do some push-ups pretty soon. Got to get warm. God knows I've got to do something to turn off my brain. Beer sure as hell didn't work.
I can't get that damn letter out of my mind. I can't get his voice out of my mind. Dammit, Derek! Why did you have to go it alone? I still don't understand. We had the charges set on timer. It should have been simple. Why did he go back to the portal? I know he was lying when he said he was coming out. He was facing that damn demon down there. I know it, but why did he have to do it?
Those battles Derek mentioned kept bugging me. Couldn't wait for a laptop, so I called the library reference desk. Going to be a helluva phone bill. It was 2 am here, so I called the Guildhall Library in London on the cell phone. Used to know somebody who worked there & the name still pulled a little weight. It was a little odd asking the Brits about 2 battles where we whipped their asses, but the guy was tolerant enough of a dumb, drunk Yank with an important friend.
All those battles - Agincourt (England vs France, 1415), Trenton (US vs Hessians, 1776), New Orleans (US vs UK, 1815), & San Jacinto (US vs Mexico, 1836) were cases where an inferior army pulled itself together to defeat a much bigger, better equipped enemy - either thru the tactics of the commander or the special skill of the soldiers or both. In each case the commander picked the place & time - even to the extent of retreating for weeks, fighting sagging troop morale, then turning to fight when no one would have thought possible. Each time they won with very limited casualties on their side & huge losses on the enemy's part.
In the mud at Agincourt, Henry V's plan cost the French nobility a generation of men, while after San Jacinto, Santa Anna himself was captured, in a dress, & at New Orleans, Andrew Jackson's ragtag army cut down 2,000 Brit soldiers, including the general, the Duke of Wellington's brother-in-law, in Mississippi River bottom fog. At Trenton, Washington attacked across a river in a mid-winter storm on Christmas with troops that had no shoes & scarcely 10 rounds each. What's Derek trying to tell me?
And the Alamo - I remember the John Wayne movie & Disney, both had good songs. Davy Crockett swinging his rifle on the barricades. They let themselves be trapped. They held the entire Mexican army at bay for 13 days, while Sam Houston organized his army in retreat. Were they "Chosen Ones"? Houston led the Mexicans halfway across Texas till Santa Anna made a mistake - he got overconfident, went ahead of the bulk of his army & his re-enforcements. Houston then picked a battlefield that had only 1 way out - victory. The next afternoon, he attacked during the siesta. The Texans "Remembered the Alamo" & killed half of Santa Anna's army. Houston lost 7 dead, 16 wounded.
What in the hell is he telling me? Why couldn't he ever say
something plain. I think being a teacher screwed up his brain - or
maybe it was that way all ready. Always only half the information.
Always a hole card, always slight of hand, revelations & deceptions.
Damn you, Derek! Were you both the Alamo & the surprise attack? Or
was Kristin the Alamo & you Henry V, Washington, Jackson, &
Houston all rolled into one. My mind just goes in circles. Guess I'll do
those push-ups. If only I could sleep & not dream. If only Derek would
get out of my head. God - I may end up blowing it off. No - they need
me. Derek gave me his ring. He expected me to be strong for them. He
expected me to carry on. He tried to tell me how, but I'm not who he
thought I was. I'm not that Nick Boyle, not without Derek Rayne at
my back.
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