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she likes flowers by windows, feng shei on Sundays, and the last sip of my beer. she likes this rocking chair in the corner of my room. she likes sucking dick and mayonnaise sandwiches. only I eat olives. I like letting her stick her finger in my cornhole while I masterbate to a magazine of some enormous anatomies. the Huinipampa is, sadly, not a miniature canvass hammock used by Andean mountain travelers to offer extra support for their members while traversing womanless terrains. there is, however, a 1-800 number. does your mother sunbathe occasionally? you have shit on your shoe and I smell mints. hide from the sun under your skirt. attempted babysitting. Phil agreed to go with the coiffure. places where the Gods come and go. the ebb and flow of leaves. I take my coffee blue. the plot to overthrow Jocelyn Elders. aerial spraying designed to stop the propagation of dildos and novelty acts. two more commercials and I think theyll show me the weather for Boston and the Washington airport snack room. does your mother sunbathe occasionally? could it be that we are actually out of cocoa butter and she is not teasing the salesman. the pope (el pape) only does two things with his penis. dont worry. I get the message. I'll go back to the Raggedy Anne jokes and leave the Secretary of State alone with her stacks of position papers and Inside-the-Beltway parking maps. sometimes I wanted a girlfriend with curb appeal. yeah, okay, so its true I'm on my fourth beer. whatre you going to do, drive me to the swimming pool? the pancreas is a sea inside you. the strokes are a bunch of rich kids. geographic predisposition. denial is part of the Kleenex. the fucking Kleenex. my head grows by the week and shrinks by the day. Man will end when all men have been. open and allow all suffering and achievement. Man will end when all men have been allowed. open out to all. I am my personal physician. the best laid girlfriends and boyfriends gain a sense of what it is to be less than a moonman with excellent hair. say anything. dont say everything. it's quite a drive from anywhere in Alabama to get good pirogies or to sit next to sweaty broads who knead bread with knowledge. whenever I feel the urge to see sweaty broads, I lie down on the couch until it passes. the best sweaty broads come from Jersey. the ones from New Hampshire are too uppity.