| Meows! The name is Video, Captain Video, and I like my catnip martinis shaken, not stirred. I do not discuss my past with anyone, preferring to remain a cat of mystery. I will reveal that I escaped from a fate worse than death and managed to find Madame Alto's sister, who took pity on me and sent me to live with Madame Alto. I have been with her for a little over two years. My ancestory too shall remain a mystery. Some people see some Siamese in me, some see Birman, and some Ragdoll. My incredible blue eyes and distinctive black mask render me irresistable to the female set. I am a great on-the-bed type cat and enjoy meditating while perched on a snuggly blanket. I am a confirmed CATchelor, connoissuer of fine food and drink, and enjoy the company of like-minded females. I am a cat of leisure, since Madame Alto is my slave and hands me everything on a silver platter. I appreciate Nature and you will often see me gazing out the window admiring our dear feathered friends. I am extraordinarily diplomatic, even going so far as to try to get along with that outrageous, loud-mouthed female who thinks she is Bastet's gift to the world, my stepsister, Chelsea. Unfortunately that harridan doesn't comprehend the basic need for a male to retreat to his cave and have peace, which discourages me no end. But I, being a gentlecat, allow her her tantrums and walk away. Purrs, Captain Video Darlings! How very kind of you to ask for a brief bio about me, Chelsea! My dears, my age shall remain a secret, after all it is a state of mind and not a number, and I am youthful beyond my years. A female improves with age, n'est pas? Just like a fine wine or a rare Ming vase. I am a stunning grey tiger-stripe with soulful eyes and pouting lips. My dears, of course I admit to the grey. I earned those silver hairs, let me tell you! I have an aristocratic nose - obviously there is Persian in my background, although, sigh, I think it was on the wrong side of the blanket as it were. The dreadful people who, dare I use the term, owned me, moved away from their landholding, taking their appalling mobile home with them and leaving me behind. Luckily there were charitable souls at the church next door and although they did not offer me the gourmet comestibles I deserved, the fare was nutritious and the company was, well, acceptable, and I could have continued in this way indefinitely but for one small problem. There was no shelter to protect me from the elements. The good folks told Madame Alto that I'd been (gasp!) abandoned and she promptly stuffed me into a cat carrier and carted me to her home. Ah, mis cherees, that home would have been perfect except for one detail. The big balooga already in residence. I know the poor dear is a couple of donuts short of a dozen, but honestly, he puts on such airs with his phony British accent. I wouldn't recommend that tom to any female. I mean, males are not fixer-uppers and that guy's a regular Amityville horror. I promptly put him in his place and keep him there to this day. But I digress, let's get back to the important topic at hand, me. I have no special guykit in my life, but that doesn't bother me exceedingly. After all, a female without a tom is like a mouse without a motorcycle. It would be nice to have a suave, sophisticated cat about town to offer me an escort and other, er, comforts, but I am finiky and only the best will do. After all, my dears, if you compromise on quality you only send yourself down the spiral staircase to the gutter. I do enjoy fine food and cultural events such as squirrel watching. I exercise regularly by taking long walks to and from the kitchen and swatting at that big balooga every chance I get. I also nap frequently to prevent the ravages of age from showing on my youthful face and body. Purrs, Chelsea |
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