Now my life is numb.
I feel like a zombie... looking at the world....as if I'm looking at TV.
I'm here......but then again.....I'm not here.
I have no friends....They don't understand me....
they just think they do.
......I wonder how many years I've been like this?
It feels like forever........but then I remember....
something.....something about my childhood....
something happy.....actually...truly happy.
Before I grasp that memory, the concious world
draws me back in to the hell of life.
Now my thoughts have taken a turn....
....and it is the thought of death who is my rival.
But I don't have the courage to bring that knife___
to my throat.....and I just don't have the heart
to leave my family with the grief....then I start thinking.....
would they care anyway?
Barbie Marsh