| Things I'm Not Insane Enough To Do Page 2 |
| 44) Ask Doctor Fox if he's a real doctor. |
| 45) Walk into First Class, with my First Class ticket, dressed as a tramp. |
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| 46) Knock on someone's door holding a cup of tea, and ask: "Can I have some sugar, please?" |
| 47) Phone into a tv poll, and just say "You're 'avin a laugh!" |
| 48) Phone a mate, and pretend to be on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. |
| 49) Tell people "My name's John, but you can call me Dave". |
| 50) Drive up to a drunken bloke on the street with your two mates. Call to the wino: "Need some help mate?" When he says: "Yeah, that'd be great!" say: "Then join the AA!" Then drive off, laughing. |
| 51) Drive straight into Michael Winner's brand new car and tell him to "Calm down dear, it's only a commerical!" Then reverse over him. Twice. Until he bleeds. Profusely. |
| 52) Bring 17 packs of toilet rolls up to the counter of a supermarket and tell the person at the till: "I know what you're thinking--I'm using this to wank." |
| 53) Enter McDonald's dressed as a pirate and talking like a pirate, yarr. |
| 54) Run through a city centre shouting "Run! It's gonna blow!" or "Run! They're coming!" |
| 55) Get into a massive, viscious arguement with a girl, and at the end of this, ask "I suppose now's a bad time to ask for your phone number?" |
| 56) Walk into the Liverpool Official Shop and ask for a Man United shirt. |
| 57) When a police officer says "We'd just like to ask you a few questions" point to a mate and say "It was all him, officer, he forced me to bury the body." |
| 58) Go into the pub and ask for an extra hot Guiness. |
| 59) Invoke the Prevention of Terrorism Act. |
| 60) Ask Mazza where the Drum and Bass is. |
| 61) Throw dirt at lamposts. |