Struggle with sexual sin is complex. It's not just a sin we can't shake off. It involves deep rooted patterns of bad habits and poor ways of coping with stress. It's not just physical but mental, emotional, and spiritual. It's Hell's greatest attack on Christian men in our world.
Satan has used this tactic for centuries. When Israel was in God's good graces, Baalam (the false prophet who tried to curse Israel) knew the only way to deter Israel was to take them away from their God. They did this my intermixing foreign women to sexually corrupt them. Just think about how many times sexual immorality is mentioned in the Bible!
The same tactic is used today. It's hard to watch television without seeing something. Even seeing girls around campus in very small clothing. The accessibility of pornography, R-rated movies, and anything else is easier than ever to get. Yes, Dordt does have the firewall but if you have a problem like we had, you know as well as us there are ways to get around it.
How then do we overcome it?
This is very brief of what we have learned, so do not bet just this will solve all your problems.
1) You need to stop thinking about women as objects. "how can I do that, my eyes just attract!" WE KNOW THAT! But it is not an excuse, there are tactics to overcome. It takes alot of practice but the human mind cannot think of 2 things at the same time (especially for us guys). Once we see something, and maybe start playing with the image in our mind, stop the thought. Replace it with something else. There is a reason the Bible tells us to think about everything that is good and holy and concentrate on the word day and night. Also, bounce your eyes. Over time you mind will train itself not to look.
2) Remove anything that will tempt you. There are programs out there that you can get to block out crap on your computer. You may need an accountability partner to help with the password (Thats what Josh and I have had to do). If it's the JCPenny ads, keep them in the paper. If its the TV, cut the cord. Do everything in your power to remove temptation. We are human, if its there, it is almost impossible not to look.
3) Accountability Partner or Group. Find someone that can work with you to help you. You cannot do it alone. Trust us, we tried to for years. We all need help from others, its how God made us. Already we are getting a small group ready to work together on these issues. Join us in a group of other men who are fighting the same fight you are. There will be no condemnation with us. We all struggle with masturbating and lusting over women, just like you. We cannot rely on ourselves but need the help of friends and God.
4) MOST IMPORTANT, STAY CLOSE TO CHRIST. Josh and I have talked with each other and have figured out the times where we are most tempted and sometimes fail are times when we are away from God. He is the one who gives us strength each day. If you struggle with your relationship with God, or have questions on anything about his UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for YOU. We can help with that as well.
We know your thoughts. How could love or use me? I'm a sick and disgusting person. He doesn't answer my prayers, how can we say he is there?
I remember so many times, begging God to forgive me, recommitting myself, begging God to remove this sin in my life and send his Spirit upon me so that I may never do it again. Yet I continued to fail. I continued in my sexual sin. I've heard and read about God miraculously healing a drug addict so many times. Why couldn't God heal me? Why couldn't I be like those in the Bible who recieved the Spirit and didn't live in sin anymore?
We have figured out that God doesn't usually like to work that way. He likes to build characther by having us face struggles that last for years, maybe even our whole lives. It's how God humbles us, creating a servant spirit. It is how we remember we cannot live without Him in our lives.