Well he's in love with a lonely loner
But he doesn't even really know her
But he thinks that her name is Mona
And she lives in South Dakota
And so he drives 'cross Minnesota
In a little red Toyota
That he got as a short term loaner
From an outfit in Winona
And when he gets to the door of Mona
She says "I don't know you one iota
But still here's what we're gonna
Do is move to Arizona
Doesn't every body want a story to tell?
Doesn't everybody hope that it works out right?
And doesn't every body just wanna wish him well
So they know he won't be lonely tonight?
And so they move down to Sedona
And though he doesn't really even wanna
He works sellin' off brand soda
And he never quite meets his quota
So he stole a little Cub Cubota
And he overhauled the motor
Tried to sell it back to the owner
Who he caught makin' out with Mona
Oh, oh, oh
Doesn't everybody kinda want a little story to tell?
Doesn't everybody kinda hope it works out right?
And doesn't every body just wanna wish him well
So they know they won't be lonely tonight?
Whoa, Oh...
So now he lives in a Conestoga
In a little town called Eroda
He lives on cheap bologna
And a bottle of Kitona
Oh don't you know he's finally got a little story to tell?
And he thinks things kinda worked out all right?
And he gave up on his final chance for that wishing well
'Cause he knows he won't be lonely tonight
Oh...