In our efforts to serve you better all new quotes will have a 
next to them.....518 Management
LAST UPDATED ON: 01/07/2006 05:01 PM New quotes added to Cason, Audrey, Gless and Mike
Cason Mike Stevo Matt Gless Schrems Audrey Terri Kim Everyone Else
SCHREMS SAYS:
"These quotes are to live by. Your daily routine should involve at least one of these quotes." Daniel C. Schrembeck June 2003
HERE WE GO!!!
FFFFFIIIIRRRRREEEEE- Cason
HO, HO, HO- Cason
"Hey its Mike." Matt. "I know.....its my phone!" Cason
She pissed in my bed- Cason
Hey you reached 518 Leroy...Matt, Mike, Steve and Cason...leave a message....MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm Bye- Cason on the 518 answering machine 2000-2001
MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm Bye- Cason
"Stevo has a monster cock"- Cason
"Is she a uhhh virgin" Mike
"Hell no...she's not a virgin your idiot!!" Cason "No...I meant anal virgin
you asshole!". Mike
What the fuck is goin on in here?!?!?!?!?!- Mike
Ohhh...you hit my cock- Mike
I swear to God, I'm going to stop drinking tonight. I gotta stop doing this to myself- Mike
You gotta haul that in- Mike
I gotta take a Schrems break- Everyone but Schrems
Jesus ChaRIST- Mike
That is the greatest _________ in the history of _________- Mike
I need it, I want it, I gotta have it- Mike
"I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING THAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN A LONG TIME!" Mike on a swing set at Matts and he is about to jump off the swing and attempt to break his leg
"Schrems and me we aren't gay....we love pussy...we eat it.....we fu#k it!"
"Boobies...who needs boobies when you got a three-inch prick>" - Mike Rinehart at his best
This is not a day to remember, it's a day to forget- Mike
What the hell happened to my house....my kitchen??!?!?!- Mike observing the destruction of the house after the last 518 party
FFFFFIIIIRRRRREEEEE- Mike
SHUT THE DOOR!!!- Mike
Don't turn on the light- Mike
Fuck this-Mike
Shhh....it's me- Mike
I'm a surprize fucker- Mike
Ry, one of these days your gonna come in and I'm going to be like this- Mike
Cason, Chris and I have been here five years, you've been here five hours- Mike
"I don't have any breasts but I got buns!" Mike
"Its not a dick!" Mike
"Will you urinate in my mouth?" Mike
"Well Cason, hopefully it (the relationship) will turn into something else....know what i mean?" Mike "Uhhhhhhh....NO!!!!" Cason
(Stevo watching an egg roll off the counter and break on the floor) UHHHH
I gotta take a Schrems break- Everyone but Schrems
Schrems "I'm eating alot of pudding, cottage cheese, and yogurt. I really need some McD's. And maybe Eli could blow his load in my mouth. That would make me feel better for sure." Stevo in a email after he had his wisdom teeth pulled out.
nice message from mav huh? he was
a guard for the bush and he's getting married. was he giving head to the chinese
president too? sounds like mav has cooked himself up a pretty good life. oh and
by the way, i just became a tech writer, found $10 million under the couch,
bought one of the hawaiian islands and am getting married to heidi klum. yeah
right mav. Stevo in response to a Maverick email
(Stevo climbing out his window) Oh God
Hey guys, look at this cool Ken Po stick I got with your money- Stevo quoting
Mav
Mav's gone and hey, where's my fucking car- Stevo and Matt
Hey PB, are you going to show us your boobies or what- Stevo and Schrems
Fork here- Stevo
Yo, Fork- Stevo
Fork- Stevo
Stairmaster...DRIVE, DRIVE- Stevo
FFFFFIIIIRRRRREEEEE- Stevo
I like gay shit- Stevo
"Ok...go...now you're up to 12 BJ's a night!" Stevo
"Yahoo sucks dude...you got mapquest that
shit!" Stevo telling Mike to stop wasting his time with Yahoo Directions
"It has been bought to my attention that summer is upon us in the northern hemisphere and that we should get naked and hurl our bodies into bodies of water and frolic about without a care in the world when we have the least opportunity. We should eat watermelon at a feverish pitch and smear it all over ourselves if we feel like it. We should subtly ogle members of the opposite sex in their bathing suits and appreciate the great god given gifts. We should have dirty feet." -Matt
There will be no stopping the Juggernaut of partying that will happen next
weekend- Matt
I gotta take a Schrems break- Everyone but Schrems
I'm the Firechief ass- Matty on Wallaheen
Guiness is the proper fuel that I need in order to get maximum performance on
and off the field. It has the vitamins, nutrients, and alcohol levels that
I need in an adult beverage- Matty
Mav's gone and hey, where's my fucking car- Matt
What a wet bar- Matty
Hey thats my car.....thats my car!!!!!! Matt noticing that his car isn't where it should be...MAV!?!?!?!?!?
"Anybody got any hand sanitizer?" Matt at Evelyn's 1st birthday party which took place in the middle of a park.
It was utter fuckng chaos...you could jerk-off into your own mouth in the middle of Main Street and the cops wouldn't care- Gless describing the 1998 OSU-Michigan game and the festivities located outside the stadium
"Hey we eat cow!" Gless as we stood on the balcony of Stevos apartment to a group of Indian (Hindu) people playing badminton in the courtyard below
Smells like a Sumo wrestler took a dump on a burning tire- Gless
What the fuck is this shit?!?!?!? Gless when he discovered gay porn on his computer
Get me a Mormon Fiasco- Gless
What if, what if, what if...what if the sun doesn't shine, what if the wind
knocks this tree over, what if a meteor hits me in the genitals- Gless
Come on...everybody say it with me...CUMBUBBLE- Gless
Natty Light? Jesus, I might as well dunk a dog's balls into a glass of
tepid water and drink that- Gless
I'd rather beat my own genitals with a mallet- Gless
I'm gonna go take a Broz and wipe my Mav- Gless
FFFFFIIIIRRRRREEEEE- Gless
I wouldn't touch her with your dick- Gless
Why does my computer keep crashing...MMMMAAAAVVVV!- Gless
"I hate campus food...I'd rather beat my balls with a hammer rather than live on it again" Gless at Taco Bell at 2:30 am 1999
Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"
Drinking and smoking and puking and drinking
Taco Bell dumps and the bathroom is reeking
There's Natty Ice and buffalo wings
These are a few of the 518 things......
Schrems lost his leg while in Founder one evening
Gless drinking beer while Wiggy is heaving
Cason keeps a squirrel locked up in the loo
Mav moves out late one night and no one cried boo hoo
Mike playing Tecmo and winning by 60
Broz entertaining beneath willow trees
Stevo is screaming "too hot to survive"
Matty keeps drinking and comes home at 5
"That house was so structurally inefficient; its like a toddler built it" Gless
"Captian's log....mmmm" (Gless noting he was about to let loose another rectal barrage" Gless
"Mikey....lets pass the bottle around like pirates!"
"Gaylords, This is Schrems. I agree with Mike. I say, fuck my job, fuck my mortgage, fuck my marriage, and fuck me. I'm coming to BG to stay permanently. I want to drink all night, and party everyday for the rest of my life or until I die of herpes that I contracted from Broz." Schrems in a email; 2002
I need another lefty in my bullpen...I'll take Orosco- Schrems
Merci Beaucoup- Schrems
That's why women shouldn't be allowed to play sports- Schrems
Hey PB, are you going to show us your boobies or what- Stevo and Schrems
"Plus I want plenty of room for the ambulance and paramedics to do there thing when I attempt to tackle Gless. Remember in front of the courthouse downtown, my organs do"- Schrems
Hey, those are my animal cookies, see, there iced- Schrems
I would bang an infant if it were socially acceptable- Schrems
Hey guys, where's my left leg- Schrems
The whole house came up off its foundation and spun around me- Schrems
I lost my sandle- Schrems
See, I built this thing, it's sturdy , it won't break- Schrems
FFFFFIIIIRRRRREEEEE- Schrems
What shall I bring (this includes adult beverages, adult drugs, lubricants, DVD's, infants, sleeping bags, blow up mattresses, blow up dolls, football, golf clubs, pocket vaginas, and Duran Duran Meets Depeche Mode, The Greatest Hits album featuring Stereolab)
"Mike...if we had one of those 518 would have burnt down!" Schrems talking about Matt and Audreys portable fireplace
"What
does a guy have to do to get a beer around here!" Schrems"
"I want a regular burger" Audrey demanding a meat burger at a Schrems cookout
"Oh come on Mike, why would you want to get your moneys worth??" in a sarcastic voice
"I mean where else could he work on Thanksgiving nite....at a porn store?"
"Ha...Ha....KY!" Audrey
"Mike...what pipe are we talking about?!?!" Audrey
"Well...Grandma hasn't keeled over yet" Audrey
"I need beef....lets go to all you can eat rib nite at Damons!" Audrey
"Hey,
this Michigan wine is good stuff....." Matty- "Babe, this wine label
is written completely in German."
"She does have big nipples. You gotta have big
nipples for big boobies."
"Hey guys.....NO gay stuff." Terri at any 518 reunion
Put that away- Terri, Terri, Terri
"Hey guys...NO gay shit today" Terri at another 518 reunion
"Hey madness." Terri saying hello to Mike at a 518 reunion
FFFFFIIIIRRRRREEEEE- Terri
"He has to realize that he is the father of this child"- Terri to Matt and Mike
"So he's saving up for a wedding but he spent his money on Medieval swords and vitamins!"
"What the fuck is Cason doing here?"
"Get that cunt of a dyke out of the show!"
Hey Stevie- Mr.Schrembeck
Human pigs lived here- Mr. Schrembeck
Daniel....I don't know how you live in this filth-Ms. Schrembeck cleaning 518
"Lets go.....lets toss Jimmy" Mr. Shrembeck
FFFFFIIIIRRRRREEEEE- 518
"Lets go....lets do it.....lets toss jimmy!" Mr. Schrembeck challenging Matt and Mike to a bean bag toss competition
Mav, it's your turn to do the dishes- 518
PIZDA- 518
Bye Bye- 518
mavRICK!- 518
Hey guys, can a borrow a _____ (add noun here)- Mav
Have you guys been on vacation or what- Pisda delivery guy
Well, see ya later!- 518
I got to go to Lima- Dr. Love
Oh Terri, Terri, Terri, Terri- 518 singing Steve Perry's Oh Sheri
Should we go to Wendy's or Pisanellos? Yeah.- 518
Yo, dog, I'm going to kick your ass- ?
I know you stole my fucking oven knob and I want it back you piece of shit.
Have a nice day- Staci
Well, here come the Mexicans- unknown
It's too hot to survive- Mav
Whattawe chattin'- Ry
FIRE!- Khan
Beware of the willow tree- Unknown
Tony Packos food SUCKS!!!!! Dinu
(Girl on front of Schrems) What did he say