Kevin stood, lightly taking Nicks hand. "Come on, lets go talk to Brian" Kevin whispered. Nicks eyes widened, shaking his head back and forth. "No..No" He muttered. Kevin helped Nick up from the hospital bed. His hand reached Nicks shoulder, his eyes pleading, "Please Nick, you need to be the one to tell him what's going on" Nick looked away, tears stung in his eyes, he nodded. They both slowly walked out the door.
They finally made it to Brian's room, Nick turned his head, looking at Kevin with begging eyes. Kevin shook his head, and motioned for Nick to walk in the room. Nicks head hung as his hand turned the knob. He walked in the room. His eyes finally lifted as he heard Brian whisper his name. Brian's eyes were in shock to see Nick in the hospital gown, with bandages on his arms. "What the hell happened?" Brian's voice was strong. Nick looked down, as he walked next to Brian's bed. He sat down and sighed, looking at his hands. "Im so sorry" Nick whispered. Brian looked at Nick, his eyes questioning "What for?" Nick took a deep breath, " I tried to kill myself" he whispered under his breath. Brian's eyes went in shock, he sat up straight. "What? Why? What happened? When?" All the questions came out fast. Nick looked up, tears falling. " I was angry at myself..I said something to Kevin, that I shouldn't have..and I was so angry at myself. I don't deserve to live" Nick said, tears rolling down faster. Brian shook his head in shock, reached for Nicks hands..taking one lightly in his. "What did you say?" His voice softened. Nick shook his head, "No..no..it was horrible, you'll hate me" Nick sobbed. " I could never hate you Nick, you're my best friend" Brian whispered. Nick shut his eyes tightly, trying to block the pain in his heart. " Kevin told me it was time to see you, and I told him that why should I see you, your just going to die anyway..god..Brian I didn't mean it, I was upset, im so sorry.." Brian said nothing. Nick stood up, " You hate me,see..I should go" He started to leave, when Brian whispered "Please come back." Nick stopped dead in his track, turned around. "What?" He asked confused. " I don't hate you Nick, please come back and talk with me about this. " Brian whispered, looking at his hands. Nick slowly made this way back to Brian's bed. A look of angry came across Nicks face, " Ok, lets talk..what do you want to talk about? About how im a horrible person, who doesn't deserve to live? How about that huh?" Nicks eyes flashed with angry at himself. Brian lightly took Nicks hand in his, " Your not a horrible person ok? What you said wasn't a wonderful thing to say, but it doesn't make you a horrible person. You were stressed, you probably didn't mean it right? Or did you?" Brian's eyes looked down tears threatening to fall. Nicks eyes looked in horror, "Oh god Brian, No..no..of course I don't mean it. I was so upset, I didn't know what I was saying. God Brian, you don't know how sorry I am." Nick said, tears rolling down his cheeks..Nick looked up, "P...please forgive me" he begged, tears in his eyes. Brian sighed, shutting his eyes tightly. He tried to block the pain of Nicks past words. Silence filled the room for what seemed hours. Brian's fingers traced over Nicks bandages lightly. Their teary eyes met. One man looked at the other with hope, the other looked back, with forgiveness. |