Hot Gimmick
“I loved the
original story “Hot Gimmick”, and I love this story. The way u changed the
characters around and added your own idea without ruining the plot is great.
This is one of the few ones that is actually works
without copying the original work word by word. I LOVE IT. Can’t wait till the
next chapter”-
heaven, ff.net (HG, ch 1)
*-*
“Hahaha Ok, I love it! I was laughing so hard at the end of
it. I really like Ginny's attitude towards Draco. Haha and
the whole Master Draco thing. I can't wait to see how long that lasts!
Great job! Please post soon!!!” –Dracosbaby7, portkey.org (HG, ch 1)
*-*
“Absolutely iridescent. Amazing and
well put together. The plot thickens with great mystery and interest. To be one of the best. Brings together the real feelings and
characteristics of everyone mentioned. Please keep writing.” –Anonymous, (HG, ch 2)
*-*
“good job good job good job good job good job good job good job
good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good
job good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good job
good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good
job good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good job
good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good job good
job good job good job good job” –laila on portkey.org (HG, ch 2)
*-*
"Even though
you might not actually like a person, you could still really like kissing
them." I COMPLETELY KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT WHEN YOU SAID THAT. Very good
story! I'm liking it so far, and the Neville and Ginny
thing...that's just too weird to happen I think. Why is Harry going after
Ginny!? NO SHE IS MEANT FOR DRACO. They will do the cliché thing and fall in
love right? Cause that would be so cute. And who
would've thought that Draco could actually be nice and not take a girls virginity? From the hints you are dropping it seems
as if Draco already does love her, he just isn't quite sure of it or is
mistaking it for lust, and Ginny has basically no idea what is going on, and
dear lord I’m so sorry for rambling!! GREAT STORY!” –MalfoyLittleGirl,
Portkey.org (HG, ch 2)
*-*
“Oh My God! I love Hot Gimmick! And
this is so much more frickin cooler! I would probably even offer to do a banner
with all the HG cast (anime ones) too, but oh well! So cool! Keep it up!” –luckistars of
hpff.com (HG, ch 2)
*-*
“Bloody hell this is
brilliant! Haha!
Comedy, Er-Some-what Dramatic, And totally rad!
Continue PLEASE!” –a_fire_inside on ff.net (HG, ch 2)
*-*
“Nice story... it has a lot of promise. I'm curious to see
what Neville is up to. Whatever it is, it can't be good.
As for the D/G, it also has a lot of promise. I like this characterization of
Draco. I think he's very capable of being charming one minute and an ass the
next. So it works well for him. I hope that he does begin to treat Pansy like a
human, just so Ginny will dump Harry for him. I'm looking forward to more.”-smprsgrrl,
Portkey.org (HG, ch 3)
“Damn. Neville is turning
out to be quite an asshole. Then again he might be I dunno....your the one
writing this. Right now I hate him, but...you being the writer might completely
change it around and almost make me feel sympathy for him...As for respect for
what he did. Well, plot out really. Wasn’t a bad plan.
Cruel, evil despicable, but not half bad. Oh and the
bit about Malfoy reading Machiavelli's The Prince, I loved it. So.. eloquent. (i really do hope I’m using that word right) Anyway
it's befitting. hah, but I am a little nerd who seems
to know more than she should anyway....Okay, I’m babbling. Great
chappie, update soon.” –MexiChick, Portkey.org (HG, ch
4)
*-*
“Hey, MeiQueen! I would like to say, first and foremost, that I would never have thought
of doing a fanfiction off a manga- I think that it is totally creative! I have
a question, though... In Hot Gimmick, the character that
Draco is now playing is actually a virgin... how will that play into
this story? Is Draco a virgin? He doesn't quite come across as one, but you
never know...And also, I think it was cool how Ginny told him to be nicer to
Pansy! Girlpower!! So yeah, great fanfic! Thanx for writing. I also, by the way, appreciate that your fic
doesn't have the obvious grammatical errors that other authors at times appear
to be too lazy to sort out.”-silverclaw_firefly, Portkey.org (HG,
ch 4)
*-*
“Wow! That was a very dark chapter. Wonderfully done, though. OMG I could just murder Neville
right now. It's probably the wrong coincidence because i
just saw HP4 (I live in Australia so it only just came out) and I was really
loving the weird Neville in it (he's so adorably weird) and there was that
scene where he's dancing with Ginny that was sweet. But now in your fic I want
to like kick him really hard in the balls. Lol. Update
soon so i can find out what the hell is up with
Neville!!!! It was a terrible thing that happened to Ginny. But
yay for Draco saving her. I'm getting warm and fuzzy feelings. He really
cares! Who would have thought! And I really like Pansy. Karma actually works.
Anyway, eagerly awaiting your next wonderful chapter! Update soon!” -RoseB on hpff.com (HG, ch 4)
*-*
“excellent...awesome.
Really cool. I really like it. Some people, when they
write a story with sex in it tend to not have storyline, just the sex, but
yours is good. Write soon ok” –aphrodesia on ff.net (HG, ch 4)
*-*
“Sweet!
Neville gets his just desserts + Draco and Ginny are happy + and the other
Slytherin boys are all scared of Draco=GREAT FIC! I love it! You’ve done so
well with it!”
–Keeper of the Pine Needles on ff.net (HG, ch 4)
*-*
“this really is an
excellent story, and I believe that in the next six or seven chapters, that
this story will go much deeper then just a silly schooldays romance, and I
think that you proved that exceptionally with the attempted rape. Now, true
Draco is out of character, but with your plotline, it's acceptable and works
well. As far as advice, it was a little confusing in Chapter 3, I don't know
why but it was, other then that, it's very well written, a major problem with
most writers on is that their descriptions are either too randomized, detailed,
or not detailed enough. But you pretty much have it down, should you keep
writing I believe that you would be up with the authors on the net such as
Dracademented, and GD-7, (the latter I'm not a huge fan of, but she is an
awesome writer) Your not there yet, but with time I am sure that you will be.
Keep writing, and keep reading as well, the only way that you can improve your
writing is by seeing other writers present dos and do nots in their own story,
and being an outside writer, not a friend or relative, you can see what works
and what doesn't work. That's all that I have to say, it's a remarkable story,
and I really hope that you keep up with it.
The only other thing that I would suggest altering is your summary and title.
Now, it depends on what plot you have in your mind for the story (if you have a
detailed one in mind) …the present title makes the story seem more trashy then
it actually is. If you do change that, and prove on a first impression that
this is a more serious story, I can guarantee that you will have more
reviewers.
Keep updating and make me happy, and I shall speak to you when you next
update.”
–Elvra, ff.net (HG, ch 4)
*-*
“Great chapter, I can't wait
until you update again. And I love the way you write Draco’s character, it's a
perfect balance of his character” –kinky_lover on hpff.com (HG, ch 4)
*-*
“I
really like *grins*. It's good. I like how you have Draco. Usually when Draco
is relatively sweet it ends up all wrong and it is a chore to read it (but of
course I do lol I'm too addicted.). It doesn't seem so wrong in this one
though. Myself, I like to write it where Draco is a complete prat and yet Ginny
still likes him. It's so hard yet fun. Hehehe. I really like this thought. It's really interesting. Especially with Neville. Neville is really awesome in this.
I like it how he's evil but nice y'know? It's . . . prettiful *giggle* hehe. Lovely just lovely. Also, I think flames are awesome. I mean
it is so cool how someone can say stuff so mean about one thing. hehehe. I hope when I finish my
things and start getting them up, I get tons and tons of flames *evil laugh* .
. .
Sorry, kinda off topic (if there was one.) I really
like it . . .” –OnerousOrangutang, ff.net (HG, ch 5)
*-*
This is a
fantastic story. I'm really curious about the book it was based on, though. I
don't usually like the whole concept of cartoon stories, anime, or manga shows,
but I might reconsider and have a look at the book. I'll add this to my alert
list and continue to review. It's lovely.” –Mellia Black,
ff.net (HG, ch 5)
*-*
“Egyptian cotton
sheets...she blushed thinking about what he wanted to do with them...he wanted
to shag her senseless underneath them! lol I love it!
Please update soon.” –HarryPotterFreakEver, ff.net (HG, ch 5)
*-*
“Great!
Great great great! That was just really.......great. I'm glad you [finally]
updated! And it is such a nice update, too.” –Swim17, Portkey.org (HG, ch 5)
*-*
“So glad you are
back...definitely another wonderful chapter. Worth the wait but just hope the
others don't take quite as long. Love how you made Pansy and Draco be friends rather than the jealous spurned woman. Excellently done!” –jchaser, Portkey.org (HG, ch 5)
*-*
“AHHH, OMG where the HECK is the NEXT CHAPTER?! lol. cute story
(in a way) so far... you know, once you get past the "Draco’s 'best
friends'" part and all that other good stuff. I find myself not being able
to wait until Ginny tells Harry that she's, uh, NOT going to the ball with him
*gasp*! Ron is seriously going to blow his top, I think, (but he hasn't been
around much... that's intriguing in itself... hold it, *WHAT* did the test say
for Luna? I’d almost forgotten about that!) And I think it's nice that Ginny
let Neville off... though I would have turned him in like that (well,
*maybe*)... I was kind of wondering about that, going "she's THAT
nice?" (I hope you know what I mean... not saying she's evil but... yeah)
then she mentioned to Draco that she was going for revenge (Neville had better
watch out, because Ginny was none-too-happy about feeling helpless and doubtful
of herself, ESPECIALLY for a week!) can't wait until you continue, this is
great! This especially makes me want to read hot gimmick (lol) which I haven't
gotten to yet (but that's beside the point! lol) I really can't wait until you
continue!!!!!” –Sailor
Universe, Portkey.org (HG, ch 5)
Steal My Kisses
“It's great and THANK YOU
for saying You-Know-Who. Most people are only making Voldemort be rising in their
stories when he was supposed to be around for quiet awhile and that bugs me.
Anyway, I loved it and am eagerly waiting for more. :D” Radcliffe_PotterFan319 on hpff.com (SMK, ch
1)
*-*
“This, as another reviewer said, has some clear potential! It’s
great! Please continue! I want to see how Lily will manage to break down with
Grant, poor guy! lol” –hmtc on ff.net
(SMK, ch 2)
*-*
“This is really good so far. I especially
love your summary: 'Lily Evans is an average girl who makes mistakes.' So many authors
turn Lily into a perfect person, and the only thing wrong with her is that she
never stops yelling at James. You've made her seem so much more real, like
someone who the reader can actually identify with. Its okay that this isn't a
lot of action yet, I'm sure it will be soon. Can't wait for the next chapter!” –Occhio
di Lince, ff.net (SMK, ch
2)
*-*
“Amazingly written! It was actually surprisingly deep, which is more than rare in a
fanfic! PLEASE update! Soon? ;)” –vivphy05, ff.net (SMK, ch 2)
*-*
“OH! I like this story! It's really good!
Lily's so confused! Poor girl. I can relate to her
confusion. Heads tellin' you one thing while your hearts tellin' you another.
So confusing!! I look forward to your update!! …” –Sweet Southerner, ff.net (SMK, ch 3)
*-*
“Amazing cliffie! Mean... but amazing!! I can't wait for an update... I had
completely forgotten about this story (I had added it to story alert after just
the prologue...) but I’m glad you didn't abandon it! PLEASE please
please update, because this story is REALLY getting
good!” –vivphy05,
ff.net (SMK, ch 3)
*-*
“THIS IS
AWESOME! PLEASE UPDATE SOON OR I THINK I MIGHT CRY!!!!! I’M SMILING FROM
EAR-TO-EAR, I CAN’T WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS!
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!”-TriwizardChamp, Portkey.org (SMK, ch 3)
*-*
OOH!! MORE MORE MORE
MORE!!!!!! I love this as much as your other
fics!!!!!! And I think we're twins!! I'm from
*-*
“Wow. I'm
stunned.
But completely satisfied. I love it! This is a really
good fic; I really like the way you write. James's last line is especially...
breath-taking. *giggles* I really do want them to be together, but then again,
I hope it's a longer fic because I like it so. Keep it up!” –ItsLily2U, Portkey.org (SMK,
ch 3)
*-*
“Wow, this is
one of the best fics I have ever read! Write more!” –tygeye,
Portkey.org (SMK, ch 3)
*-*
“AAHHHH!!!!! I'm literally
HYPERVENTILATING here!!!!!! CUTE!! CUTE!!! That was so cute!!!! Awww... I LOVED the ending... it was so cute!!!
Update!!!
Miss Mady... who's still hyperventilating...” –Miss Mady,
Portkey.org (SMK, ch 3)
*-*
“Oh you finally
updated this story. I have to say good job on this chapter! I just wish you
could update sooner because it's such a great story and I absolutely love
reading it. Don't take too long to update if possible.” –loonymoony8, Portkey.org
(SMK, ch 3)
*-*
“Wow! This story
is magnificent! I love how Lily makes mistakes and is confused... it's so not
the mary sue Lily that we
all know and hate. But Lily is just trying to do the right thing to her
boyfriend, isn't she... It must be hard to break up with a nice boy who really
likes you.
And I love how you've portrayed Sirius; he still has that casual elegance that
I've always associated with him. James is such a sweetheart! He just seems so
nice and down to earth.
Anyway, enough of my rambling... I look forward to more chapters posted on this
story (and unwritten)!” –Lauren Dawnie, Portkey.org (SMK, ch 3)
*-*
“WOW! *jaw
drops*
Update soon, or I will be forced to explode or
implode, whichever is cheaper...” –Sarah Kavanagh, Portkey.org (SMK,
ch 3)
*-*
“You are the
master of fluff, I must say. I've been waiting for this chapter since my
previous birth. You finally updated! Thank you for being so merciful.
Dr. Fawkes” –Dr.
Fawkes, Portkey.org (SMK, ch 3)
Reflections
“You have to keep going with this
storyline. It's amazing! I can't wait to read more! Please hurry!” –IndescribablyBee,
ff.net (R, ch 1)
*-*
“It's good.
Thanks for the warning about Remus/Lily thing. I can totally relate to Lily's
'experience'. well not directly but i think we all dread it. Still not over
the whole Rico Suave thing!” –Ariane,
Portkey.org (R, ch 2)
*-*
“I really like where this is going! It's
nicely written and I like the characters' personalities. I have a couple of
questions, though: Is the story going to skip ahead to when they're older, or
is it going to progress year by year? Is Lily liking
Remus going to be a major factor, like a love triangle? I don't know if I could
stomach that, but I'll try. I noticed that you keep putting an emphasis on
Sirius and James, is there any particular reason?
That's all. Now, feel free to tell me to shut up because I'll find out when I
find out, as long as I do find out eventually. Again, I really like what you've
written and I hope you post more soon. Bye!” –angelicbabie
on ff.net (R, ch 3)
*-*
“Really nice story so far! I love the way Lily's
eleven year old self is sarcastic and witty. I always liked the Remus/Lily
pairing, but can't stay away from Lily/James. Anyway, I said I was going to
read this story and I did. You were right. Excellent! I still hope that you'll
keep up with Bad Company, though.” –Incendia, Portkey.org (R, ch 3)
*-*
“EAK love this
story!! I know you’re probably tired of hearing from me but you will just have
to deal!!! Once again, I love how you have got the characters just right!! I
love how you write, and how they have got the lil crushes and all that good
stuff!! UPDATE!
Lots of love
Kat Black(MINE MINE MINE *hugs Sirius to her* MINE!!)” –kat
black, Portkey.org (R, ch 4)
*-*
“Aww... I've never seen a fic before where Lily likes
Remus... but this is sweet. There were parts (like that about Lily's purple
jumper) that made me laugh out loud... I think you've done a fantastic job.” –ItsLily2U, Portkey.org (R, ch
4)
*-*
“Awesomeness. You should
definitely keep writing. This was a story that made me think it was the real
deal. Not many do that, so thanks!” –Anonymous, Portkey.org (R, ch 5)
*-*
“NO!!!! It can't be over!! Please, please, PLEASE write quickly!
(Suspense might kill me otherwise). Oh, and did I mention PLEASE!?” –Anonymous, Portkey.org (R, ch
5)
Unwritten
“I really like
the Lily you've created so far, and James and the other characters appear
pretty "in character" so far as J.K. Rowling intended. I think this
fic will definitely be interesting and funny, so please do continue it! It's so
nice to have a Lily/James fic that isn't absolutely contrived and purely
physical. :)” –Abigail,
ff.net (U, ch 1)
*-*
“What a good
beginning! I adore the song "Unwritten" and was really excited when I
found this story. The beginning is really strong. Can't wait
to read more!” –PotterChick958, Portkey.org (U, ch 1)
*-*
“ok.. This is really good and I’m really enjoying the story.
I can't wait to see where it's gonna go. Lily's honesty is very good… the
weight thing definitely goes against Mary-Sue so congrats. The only thing I
noticed that you might think about changing (although if you don't agree that’s
cool too) is the when you said her parents didn't understand how big a deal
headship is. I'm from
*-*
“I really liked it. The best I’ve ever
read and I’ve read a lot, lol” –Anonymous, Portkey.org (U, ch 1)
*-*
“It's loverly wonderly. I will be happy
for the rest of my life because of reading this *sigh* Also, there's this tiny
error (at least I think) don't hate me for this in why Petunia hates Lily. In
the book it says Petunia hates Lily because she is so much better, prettier,
smarter and everything than Petunia so Petunia is jealous. :) hehehe Sorry you don't have to change it it's just I read
your summary and it said all that stuff about how some people got the right
thing and all that stuff and that is totally awesome so I just decided to . . .
say that you know?
I love the thing with James by the way :D” –OnerousOrangutang,
ff.net (U, ch 1)
*-*
“Yes, like is definitely a
word I would use. Although it seems a little understated, I'm sure I can come
up with some more apt ones: adored, eagerly awaited, was absolutely riveted by,
for example (incidentally, the 'eagerly awaited' ran from when I first got an
alert in my mailbox, I always loved your Lily/James, and another definitely put
a smile on my face!). I can't wait for the next installment,
and I especially loved Lily's speech about You-Know-Who, it makes everything
seem a little more real, a little more dark, if you get my meaning.
Anyway, waffle over, and looking forward to the next ultra incredible chapter!
xFaithx” –Faith Kingsley, ff.net (U, ch 1)
*-*
“This was really
good!! I like its accuracy and I absolutely love her parents! They remind me of
mine! Can’t wait for more chapters! And I like that peter isn't seen as a
helpless nothing or anything.” –lily, ff.net (U, ch 1)
*-*
“That... was an
EXTREMELY eventful day! Head students, missing meetings, Remus not knowing
anything - INCLUDING his name ("why does it feel like the floor is
moving?" honestly! rotfl) James jumping on his
bed -after a freakishly long password!- and then Hogwarts no longer being
safe... I would ask if there was something else that I forgot, but my brain
just might go into overload! lol j/k! Can’t wait until
you continue, awesome job (oh yeah, and a new Herbology teacher)” –Sailor Universe, Portkey.org
(U, ch 2)
*-*
“Well then you
better update quick! I would like to read more. It's awesome!!! You're doing a
really good job. But no, you don't have to update that fast. I was just
kidding, but if you do, I would really much appreciate it.
xoxoLuna” –loonymoony8, Portkey.org (U, ch 2)
*-*
“Yeah, it'll
do...
No, I'm joking!!! I really liked it, loved it, if I were to be honest... Its
wicked to see a fic that is not only interesting and refreshing, but is
grammatically correct and has proper spelling... you know how bad grammar and
spelling can really ruin a fic..
And the best thing about it??
James was jumping on his bed!!!!” –Sarah Kavanagh, Portkey.org (U,
ch 2)
*-*
“I'm so happy
with this chapter; you've really kept your work, so to say, up to scratch. And
I love the idea of Lily loosening her grip on the Marauders pranks/bullying of
Snape...And James bouncing on the bed was very cute.
Anyway, I'm happy that you've made Lily have flaws, like being a nervous eater.
Too many stories make out that she is perfect and uptight, which I think is
total bollocks... anyway, I could rant and rave about that for ages.
But anyway, great work and an interesting storyline, as
usual.” –Lauren
Dawnie, Portkey.org (U, ch 2)
*-*
“Hm. Veeeery
interesting. Dumbledore's comment is very
interesting. He obviously knows something about the students.
I like how Lily is loosening up and not nitpicking the Marauders. And I like
how your Lily isn't the normal
"OMGWTFIHATEJAMESANDIWANTTOCASTERATEHIM" Lily that we normally see.
Keep on writing!” –PotterChick958, Portkey.org (U, ch 2)
*-*
“Absolutely brilliant, wonderful fic. I hope you keep updating because I love this story. I'm adding
this to my Alerts list. I love it because it seems so real and interesting,
keep up the good work.
Also something I wanted to point out: James looked like a "bobble
head". I don't know why but I thought that was hilarious, I don't usually
laugh out loud while reading, but this time I did and my brother thought that I
went crazy for a bit.” –lolipop5551, ff.net (U, ch 2)
*-*
“I LOVED IT! You
are a really good authoress, I love that word! Write more write more write
more” –amethyst-baby,
ff.net (U, ch 2)
*-*
“First off I
must point out that I love the Sugar
*-*
“Well, huh. I
got an 'honourable mention'! Hell yeah! I liked this, you seem to contrast the
beginning of term buzz with the dark shadow of Voldemort pretty well, and all
is not good in Hogwarts, no matter how much reassurance the first years are
given. I also like how James and Lily are civil, they just don't really know
each other (those fics where they begin hating each other for no reason
whatsoever are really frustrating), and her begrudgingly admiring the marauders
was a nice touch. Keep it up, girl!
xFaithx” –Faith Kingsley, ff.net (U, ch
2)
*-*
“I liked this
chapter very much! It was brilliant. :D
Hugs,
GoddessoftheMaaN” – GoddessoftheMaaN, ff.net (U, ch 2)
*-*
“Great chapter! I really
enjoyed it, although I think that Lily and James may have acted a little bit
too nice to each other. To me it seems like it would be awfully hard, for Lily
at least, to get used to the idea of having to work with James for a year.
That's just my opinion though, so feel free to completely disregard that
comment. Anyway, great job, I can't wait to read more!” –imber
de caelum, Portkey.org (U,
ch 3)
*-*
“Oh good, that
way you'll update quicker and then we could all read your new chapter.
Awesome-ness! I love this story!!! You're a great writer. Keep up the good
work! And update as soon as possible.
-Luna” –loonymoony8,
Portkey.org (U, ch 3)
*-*
“Oh my God! This is so hilarious! Keep up
the very great work and write a whole lot more very soon!” –Harryluvr,
Portkey.org (U, ch 3)
*-*
“Awesome chapter. I hope u update
soon. I like the part when James explains y he took some many points from
Slytherin. I think its a good chapter. And the next
chapter should be hilarious seeing the little hint. I can't wait to see what
explanation James is going to give her.” –wizardchick292, Portkey.org (U, ch 3)
*-*
“WOW! Great
update! I love the "stuck on the stairs" thingy! That was so funny!
Hope you update soon!” –Francesca, Portkey.org (U, ch 3)
*-*
“James and
Lily's relationship has progressed so well in this chapter, James was right
when he thought "I think I'm growing on her"
...and I loved the "a few choice fantasies were playing out in his head
about it; actually" when Lily leaned remarkably close to him
>>*snickers madly*” –Lauren Dawnie, Portkey.org (U, ch 3)
*-*
“I LOVE IT!” –Ginny-and-Draco-fan, ff.net (U, ch 3)
*-*
“I really like
James at the end of the chapter though I like the rest too. It's really good
and I like the rant of Lily. Fear me . . . fear me. hehehe. I like it. It's cool. :D I like Lily too.
She's nice :)” –OnerousOrangutang, ff.net (U, ch 3)
*-*
“heh. James makes me laugh, making
Lily think about being with him. I was wondering why
they didn't think to look for troublemakers too. But this was much funnier.
I can totally see the spark between Lily and James. Poor Lily won't know what
hit her in a few months.
This was a very amusing chapter. Keep up all the wonderful work!” –PotterChick958, Portkey.org
(U, ch 3)
*-*
“I have read all
three chapters of this story. I have to say, it shows a higher level of
vocabulary, understanding (natural habits of people), and (believe it or not)
HARRY POTTER BOOKS. I hate how some stories are completely unrealistic and have
no sense of normal attitude. But, there is something i
must point out, some dialogue that James says is NOT the James described in the
books. Such as when she fell on her bum, he was too polite and
gentleman-like...he wasn't like that in the books. Oh and Lily kept on
repeating the days events and EXAGGERATED the bum story...I mean, that really could've
been talked about less. She made it such a big deal. All I’m saying is that
this story is turning out very well and you are just my kind of author, but you
overdo it. I understand that there are times when you think the chapters are
getting too short...DON'T WORRY. Just update the next chapter sooner. It avoids
the rambling.
I know...if you read a story of mine after this, you'll be saying I’m a huge
hypocrite. I'm not the best at writing, I’ll admit, but I’m not too shabby at
editing.
Hope you took the time to read my review. It's pretty short...I usually write
much more, but there isn't more to it.” –madhu893, Portkey.org (U, ch 3)
*-*
“I loved it! I
especially liked 'James was looking at her in awe. That was flawless. That was one
of the most fantastic lies he’d ever seen. She was amazing'. That was classic!
Also, 'Could’ve been a worse reaction… I think I’m growing on her'. I think I
just like James' thoughts, he's so infallible...
xFaithx” –Faith Kingsley, ff.net (U, ch 3)