B/A/N- Everybody,
faithful readers and reviewers, I love you all!
This has been such a great story to write because of all the feedback
I’m so lucky to get! I’ve finally gotten over the 600 mark with this story, and
that makes me so happy! Thank you
all! I’m hoping to finish up the sixth
year very quickly so we can get into seventh year, which will be really fun to
write for me…hehe!
B/A/N- Portkey. Org
Readers- Okay. Alright, everyone. I updated this many chapters today simply
because I was sick of having ff.net so much ahead of Portkey, and it was
getting confusing having Portkey on chapter 24 and ff.net on chapter 48. So now we are finally even…great. Now there’s probably going to be a big wait
for Portkey people, because my ff.net readers are used to the long amount of
time it takes me to drill out a chapter.
I swear I’m working on that nasty habit though. If you get sick of waiting, feel free to
review and harass me or e-mail me at [email protected]
with questions, concerns, or general harassment for chapters. I swear I won’t
get mad at you…thanks for reading!
Chappie 48- Regrets
Lily crouched down on her floor on Christmas day. Sixth year was flying by so quickly. Everyone said it would though, having just
taken O.W.L.s and on the way to N.E.W.T.s, you didn’t have a particular test to
study for. Which was
always fine by Lily.
At the moment, Lily was trying to find her warm Muggle clothes that she
kept in her trunk. She was going to go
out and play in the snow with Avia, and she wanted to be nice and warm.
“Where are those bloody jeans?” she asked exasperatedly.
She pulled out piece of clothing after piece of clothing until she was
at the bottom of the trunk. There was
something odd about the bottom of the trunk…one portion was off-color with the
rest. Was it discolored or just old or
something? But no, that discolored
portion was a piece of parchment, a piece of parchment Lily had long forgotten.
Lily gently brought out the parchment, turning it over to see what was
written on it.
It was the parchment with James’ sketches from that day in fourth
year…before they had even gone on their first date.
She smiled sadly down at it, and for some reason, could not bring
herself to throw it away. You’re being stupid and sentimental, her
mind said, as tears began to flow down her cheeks. You
broke up with him, remember?
Her mind registered that fact, but looking down at the parchment, this parchment
that was proof of a time in their relationship when neither was experiencing
terrible turmoil.
Proof of a time when James’ parents were
still alive and healthy, when Emia was still at Hogwarts.
Another tear gently rolled down her cheek as she looked it over
again. She tucked it, gently as
possible, back where she found it, and began to sort through her clothes.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Oh, Philippe, really…you shouldn’t pay for that all by yourself,” Emia
protested as she noticed the bill for the expensive wizarding French bistro.
“I insist,” he said softly, holding up his hand to indicate he meant
it.
“Wow…thank you,” she replied.
“You’re quite welcome, Emia.”
Emia and Philippe’s first date was going remarkably well, no slip ups
or accidents at all, and Emia was having a wonderful
time.
“So Emia,” Philippe casually began as they walked out of the bistro,
“would you like to try this again sometime?”
Emia looked up at him, silent for a moment, and replied, “Of course.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sirius had been seeing Lasombra regularly for almost a month now. He enjoyed her company, but he always felt
that there was something missing. His
thoughts would drift to a certain petite blonde…how he missed her. He could see Emia in Avia every single day,
and it was so painful to experience. And
yet, he had not written her or kept in touch.
He considered her a friend, and friend that would definitely be
something more if she lived close, but since she did not, was only a friend.
Sirius smiled at Lasombra for a moment, taking in her exotic features,
her scent.
She reached cautiously across the table to stroke Sirius’ hand, and
asked, “What is wrong?”
“Oh, I was just thinking…no big deal.
What would you like for dessert, Sommie?” he asked, using his pet name
for Lasombra.
“Oh, anything would be fine,” she stated agreeably, leaning back in her
chair.
Sirius got lost in thought again and again Lasombra noticed the
change. “Sirius, do you ever miss her?”
she asked simply.
“All the time, Sommie…all the time.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James aimlessly spun in the air on his broom on that fine December
morning. It was cold, bitterly cold
outside, but James didn’t mind. He
needed time to think. His break with
Lily had been excruciating for him, seeing Lily in Hogsmeade with other guys
nearly broke his heart. He did not know
what to say to her, so he had simply decided that nothing would be best. He was a volcano of resentment and regret, of
love and of hate.
Just then, Frank Longbottom swirled up through the air to him. “James, what’s wrong? You’ve been distant the whole year…I never
get to talk to you anymore!”
James looked up sadly. “Haven’t
you heard? It seems like the whole
school has heard…”
Frank’s smiling face turned serious.
“Oh…Lily…I’m really sorry about that.”
“What can you do? It’s not your
fault. I don’t understand how she can
break it off after two years and not shed a tear while I’m an emotional train
wreck. It’s embarrassing.”
Frank motioned to James to follow him down to the stands. Once landed, they chose seats, and Frank
leaned back in his chair thoughtfully.
Finally, Frank spoke. “James, it
was her decision to end this, and she might not want to end it forever. She could come crawling back any day now,
begging you to take her back. What would
you do then?”
James sighed and looked up at the sky.
“I’d tell her to bugger off.”
Frank laughed. “Sure, you say
that now, since the scars are still fresh, but I can guarantee you that in a couple
of months you’ll change your tune. She’s
already taken quite a toll on you, I can tell.
You haven’t shaved in heaven only knows how long, and you’re just not
the James you used to be.”
“What’s the point?” James sighed.
“What’s the point in keeping up my appearance if I have nobody to keep
it up for?”
Frank patted James’ shoulder gently and arose. “Believe me, James…this will all work itself out. You just
have to have a little faith.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
James stayed in that chair most of the day, until he felt his bottom
getting rather numb with the icy cold. I wonder how this will pan out…Frank
certainly seemed sure that Lily would come back, and my mother never had a
premonition that was wrong, so we’ll eventually get married, I suppose. I do love her, and I’m hurting terribly
through all this, but maybe this is just a test. Maybe a couple months from now, everything
will be okay again. We’ll just have to
see. Oh crap…wasn’t I supposed to meet
Lily this afternoon to plan something for the Prefects? Oh no…she’ll be terribly angry at me, I don’t
want to listen to her bitter ranting right now…I’ll probably make it if I
hurry.
James jumped back on his broom and flew right out of the stands, out of
the stadium and towards the school. At
the Main Entrance he disembarked his broom, and kept it under his arm while he
raced into the school and up to
Lily slipped a murderous glance his way before the grandfather clock in
the common room chimed five in the afternoon.
“Ah, don’t say I’m late,” James began, holding up his hand. “I ran all
the way here, and you said five. You’re
early.”
Lily sniffed and looked up in the air, signifying that she couldn’t
think of a decent comeback, and that he might as well sit down.
“What do we have to do today?” he asked with a sigh. Please,
Lord, make it a short list…I can’t stand being around her for any longer than
necessary when she acts huffy like this…
So he was very disappointed, naturally, when Lily huffily replied, “We
have to record every student out of bed in the past two months in the Prefect
ledger, the slips with the various students are over there, and the ledger
right there. The faster we do it the
better. Your writing is messy, so I’ll
record…just read off the student name and the Prefect that caught them…and the
date…and the time.”
James sighed very audibly, and took up the first slip from the mountain
of paper. “Student: Jack Dempsey, first
year. Prefect: Narcissa Whittingham,
fifth year. Date: November 6th. Time:
And so it went on like that for two hours, until Lily went back to the
girls’ dorms nursing a swollen wrist, and James lost his voice altogether.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Avia smiled as Lily came into the dorm.
“How was the Prefect meeting?” she asked cheerfully.
“It wasn’t an actual meeting,” Lily grumbled. “It was just me and James, doing a bloody
arduous task that none of the other Prefects wanted to do.”
Avia smiled again, as she offered to get some ice for Lily’s
wrist.
“Thanks, Avie, that’s really sweet of you,” Lily sighed, as she kicked
off her shoes, threw off her robes, and sat on the bed in her usual Muggle
clothes.
Avia smiled at her best friend as she handed her the ice. Best to
start with small talk, Avie told herself.
“So, Lil, have you written to Emie lately?”
“Oh yes, I wrote to her last week, and this is the response,” she said,
producing a letter from her bedside table.
“She’s met this handsome blonde, green-eyed boy named Philippe…says he’s
quite the gentleman.”
“Oh that’s nice…I kind of wish that Emia and Sirius were still
together, though. They fit each other
like nobody else can,” Avia said with a dreamy smile.
“Yes, quite true, quite true,” Lily said simply, wrapping some ice on
her wrist as she leaned back against her pillows.
“Lil…do you…miss…James at all?”
Lily thought over the question.
Of course she missed James, but if she admitted it, Avie would probably
try some half-brained scheme to get them back together again. If she said she didn’t, she’d probably seem
like a frigid *ahem*…so she wasn’t going to say that either. She might as well just tell Avie the truth.
“Avie…of course I miss him. He
was my best friend, well besides you and Emie, of course. But our relationship was getting too close…I
just couldn’t take it anymore. Two years
of nothing but James…what if I’m missing something? What if there’s someone better out there for
me? How would I know if I was, all the
time, holding on my childhood crush for dear life? I just had to know.”
Avia was silent for a while, but nodded at the end of Lily’s
statement. “Lily, nobody knows you
better than yourself. You decide who to
date, and what you want to do. It’s your
life…but if you don’t mind, I’m going to give you a little piece of advice.”
Lily nodded for her to continue, and Avia said softly, “Love…true,
honest love…is very hard to find…especially in a world like ours. Don’t go crusading and desperately searching
for what is right underneath your nose.
You don’t want to lose him.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Winter faded into spring, and seasons continued as the sixth year
pressed on. Emia ended things with Philippe
in late March as their relationship got too serious. Emia was not sure that she wanted commitment
right now, especially when she knew that even she was forced to spend seventh
year in France, she would retreat back to England five minutes after graduation,
with her tail between her legs. She was
getting so bored with France…how she missed the fun atmosphere of Hogwarts…the
moving staircases, the suits of armor that she used to stop and talk to on her
way to Herbology, oh…and Professor Sprout, she was so entertaining. Emia was having such a terrible bout of
homesickness that several times she caught herself beginning letters to her
parents that went-
Dear Mum and Dad,
Get me the bloody hell out of
here!
Love, Emie
She sighed as she reclined in the window seat as she so often did. It was now late April…and sixth year was
flying by. Emia was having a difficult
time in Beauxbatons, not with the classes, but just with the people. The people that weren’t snobs didn’t have
time to get to know her, or she was too shy to approach, and the (many) people
that were snobs, she didn’t want to know.
Emia still desperately longed for one day when her parents’ snowy owl,
Athene, would merrily swoop through the window and give Emia permission to go
home. There really was no point in
keeping Emia here, she longed for her sister, and she never even saw her
parents anyway. Her parents were always
too busy. Do they even realize that I’m still here? Emia wondered to
herself. Maybe they don’t, she thought hopefully. If they suddenly realize that I am, maybe they will give me permission
to go home! Well, I guess writing them a
letter can’t hurt, can it?
Dear
Mum and Dad,
How are you both? I miss you…Avia probably misses you too, but
I can’t be sure since I haven’t seen her in months. I have not seen either of you in months,
either. Please, Mum…Dads…if there is
anything you will ever do for me, send me back.
To Hogwarts…please. I miss my
friends and Avia too much to even say, I can’t stand life without them for another
day. Seventh year is my last year, and
I’d like to spend it in the castle that for four and a half years I called my
home.
-Emia
Well, that certainly sounds
desperate enough, Emia thought to herself as she rolled up the parchment
and put a wax seal on it. She handed it
to
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*