Chappie 39-
Conflicted Emotions
“But who would make a stupid password like that?” Emie asked curiously.
The group of friends was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, and Lily and James were telling them about the weird password they had discovered. Oddly enough, the group was sitting exactly the way they had that night that Lily and James first kissed. James and Lily were sitting on a couch together, his head in her lap, while she quietly ran her fingers through his untamable mane. Avia was sitting on top of Remus, who was sitting in the comfortable red armchair. Emia and Sirius were sitting together on the other couch, somewhat uncomfortably. How do you act when you like the person that you’re with, but you have such a history you’re scared to give it another shot? I’ll tell you. You sit as far as bloody possible away from the other person. Emia was sitting literally against the right arm of the couch, about to fall off the furniture, and Sirius was scooting more and more away, rather frightened that she might slap him at any minute. Emia can slap very painfully, Sirius knew that from experience.
But she didn’t quite feel like
slapping right now. Emie was
thinking. And not
about that password. What would it be like if I went out with
Sirius again? Why am I thinking like this? He probably still doesn’t like
me…but he looked so concerned on the train! What should I do?
Sirius, meanwhile, was thinking
somewhat on the same lines, but with a slightly less optimistic attitude. She
hates me, she hates me, she hates me. How am I supposed to date her if she hates
me? WHY didn’t I just go out with Candy/Bunny again? Hufflepuffs are so much
easier to tolerate…but then, Emie is awesome.
The only girl on the face of the earth who can get me to act mature, and
one of the few girls who’s willing to slap me at any given moment…why do I like
the fact that she slaps me, honestly? Am I a sadist, or do I just like her
fiery temper? Questions, questions…
Soon Lily began to yawn, as did Remus. James loosened his grip around Lily’s waist, and she arose from the couch. “See you tomorrow, sweetie,” she said, lightly kissing his cheek. “Good night, everyone!”
Everyone said good night to Lily, and Remus headed up to the boys’ dorms a few minutes later. Soon James drifted up to the dorms, without his girlfriend there, he was kind of bored. Avia soon left as well, grumbling about “stupid curlers that prick my scalp but are supposed to make me beautiful” and how “nothing that gets you up at five in the bloody morning can be beautiful”.
That just left Emia and Sirius, uncomfortably trying to carry on a conversation. And when I say “uncomfortable”, I MEAN uncomfortable. Yikes…
“So, um…looks like it might rain soon,” Sirius said quietly, actually talking to his shoes. Maybe he thought if Emia made eye contact with him, he’d turn into stone, but it’s anybody’s guess. Hehe.
“Yeah, it does…what classes are you taking this year?” Emia asked quietly back.
“The same as you, remember? We decided to take the same elective classes…when we were together,” he finished the sentence with a sort of flat tone, staring off into the fire.
“We didn’t break up because of me, you shouldn’t be the one that’s depressed,” Emia said with bitterness apparent in her usually merry voice.
“I already apologized SO many times! It was a mistake! What do you expect me to do?!” Sirius said with desperation in his eyes, his voice rising a bit louder than necessary.
“Sssh, you’ll wake the whole dorm! You want to know what I EXPECT you to do, Siri?! It’s pretty simple. I actually expect you to feel remorse for what you did. I think…scratch that, I KNOW you’re not sincere with your apologies. And stupid me, I actually thought we were going to get back together eventually, but you obviously don’t want to do that,” Emia said with fury rising up in those normally placid eyes, and she jumped up from their couch.
Sirius stood up as well and there was something very apparent in his eyes also - hurt. They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and if they are, Emia hit him hard with that last remark.
“You wanted us to get back together?” he asked in an almost deadly whisper.
“Well, I kind of thought you still felt something for me, but I guess I was wrong,” she said with spite.
“No, Emie, you weren’t. But I was pretty sure you wouldn’t want me after the ass I’ve been!”
Emia was slightly speechless, she was aware that her points were fading fast, and she was slightly aware that Sirius just said he still liked her.
“I’m not going to be easy to get back, Sirius, especially after how you’ve acted” was the best she could think of in such a tight spot, so she told him that.
Sirius nodded in understanding, and walked over to her, embracing her in a huge hug of thanks. “Just tell me what you have to do,” he murmured into her hair.
Emia smiled, and answered, “I don’t know…I just know you’ll have to try” in his shoulder.
Sirius let go of their embrace, and rested his head on hers, whispering, “Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry, ‘Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!’”
Emia smiled and giggled. “That’s the preface poem for The Great Gatsby, isn’t it? That’s a muggle book I read over the summer.”
Sirius chuckled, “Yes, it’s one of my favorite poems, and Great Gatsby’s one of my favorite books…I first read it way back in um…third year, over the summer. My cousin Oswald’s a Squib, and he collects all sorts of muggle books like it.”
Emia laughed, “Thanks for talking to me, Siri, but I really have to get to bed. Avia’s doing my hair tomorrow, and she gets grumpy if she has to wait…”
Sirius smiled, “Okay, thanks for finally being civil for me…and for giving me a chance.” He gave her another hug before sending her up the staircase to her dorm.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Emia woke the next morning with
butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Will Sirius still be nice now that our
friends are around? Will anything change from last night? Last night was
great…it was safe. I miss that
safety…when I dated Sirius, it felt like nothing could harm me…he was always so
protective, and it was actually a nice feeling, as unwilling as I may be to
admit.
Emia yawned, and stretched, glancing at her clock. Five-thirty in the morning…sigh. How utterly wrong. Avia was already awake, seated at the vanity, precariously taking down each curler in sequence, cussing up a storm if any fell out. Lily was asleep still. Of course she is, Emia thought bitterly, she’s got a boyfriend that loves her no matter what she looks like, and she doesn’t have a sister with an obsession for hair.
Yes, Avia’s obsession for hair from the 4th Year (remember the icky incident with magical curling before Lily’s first date? Hehe) was still not quelled, and today, being the first day of school, she absolutely insisted upon doing Emia’s hair. She tried to do Lily’s too, but Lily threatened to give her “detention for waking her up that early in the morning for reasons that are not only frivolous, but completely unnecessary”. So Emia was the guinea pig that got to indulge in the frivolity of having hair done early in the morning.
Avia noticed Emia awake, and said, “Good morning, Emie! Up or down?”
“Huh?” Emia said, scratching her head. She wasn’t exactly alert yet.
“Hair! Up or down, m’dear?!”
“Oh, uh, down.”
“What look are we going for with your hair…cute and preppy, sweet and tempting, or perhaps dull and tedious?”
“I’ll take ‘dull and tedious’ for $1000 please, Alex Trebek,” Emia replied with sarcasm.
“Okay, so we’re going with that stupid ponytail you always wear!” Avia retorted with a giggle.
“Okay, seriously though...can you make me look…what’s the word I’m looking for…unattainable?” Emia asked with a glint in her eye.
“Done it before and I’ll do it again, hon!” Avia replied eagerly, spinning Emia’s chair to face the mirror, and carefully tending to her hair.
Emia smiled to herself and her
sister continued. This solves all my
problems…if Sirius acts different, he’ll still want me, because Avie will make
me look gorgeous. But if he acts the
same, I can still feel like I have a one-up on him,
even if I really don’t. We’ll just have
to see how today pans out, I guess.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
B/A/N- Sorry it’s short guys, longer chapter next!