Chappie 24- Meeting the Potters

 

            James woke up to a very familiar smell.  Kiwis, limes…fruit…flowers…, his mind told him groggily.  That’s what Lily’s hair smells like.  Oh crap! What if her parents see us like this?! James said, totally freaked out.  They had fallen asleep in each others’ arms on the couch, which wasn’t that bad, but James wanted to make a VERY good impression on Mr. and Mrs. Evans.  And technically sleeping with their daughter probably wasn’t the best way to do it.  James whispered, “Princess?”

“Mmmm…” was the muffled reply.  Lily turned to face him and groggily opened up her bright green eyes.

“Morning, honey.”

“Good morning,” said Lily with a yawn.

“Sleep well?” he asked with a smile.

“Better than usual,” she said, giving him a light kiss.  No tongue of course, she hadn’t brushed her teeth yet, so that would just be gross.

Lily quickly got up to make breakfast, and pointed James in the direction of the bathroom.  By the time James was done with his shower, Lily was almost done with a magnificent breakfast. 

Lily looked up and him with a smile.  “I’m almost done, James…can you make sure the eggs don’t burn? I want to go take a shower,” she said pleadingly.

Seeing James’ less-than-happy look, she said quickly, “Honestly, I don’t take long.  Like five minutes.”

“Oh, okay. That’s fine. How do you like your toast?”

Lily opened her mouth to answer but James cut in, “Buttered with jam?”

Lily laughed and nodded, and James continued, “Same way I like mine.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lily and James spent a lazy morning in Lily’s kitchen, laughing and talking.  It wasn’t until about 10 am that Charisse and Hayden woke up, and not until at least 11 that Pet woke up.  Charisse and Hayden exchanged gifts with James and Lily after having some nice warm cups of coffee.  (Yes, Char and Hayden remembered to get James gifts and vice-versa)  Char’s gift from James was rather large, and wrapped in shiny violet wrapping paper.  Charisse gave a questioning look to James, but opened it anyway.

It was a book.  A huge leather-bound book.

In shiny gold imprinting on the front was written-

Lily and James- The Story

Charisse quickly opened the book to the first page.  On it was written-

We first met

On September first of 1973,

Became a couple

On September 25^th of 1973,

And this book shows how

We came to be.

Char and Hayden were both curiously reading by now, and they turned the page.  Many, many pictures from wizarding cameras were on the pages.  The first picture was of Lily, pounding violently on the piano in the Music Room, with James watching bemusedly in the background.  Charisse and Hayden laughed at this, and continued through.  There were pictures of all of the riddles, pictures of the music room, pictures of the great scene in the Great Hall at the end of the day, various pictures from Hogsmeade trips, various pictures with friends, a picture of them both at the Yule Ball…all documented by James. Lily looked curiously at him, how could he have ever gotten all these pictures? 

As if answering her un-posed question, James said, “I got the pictures by recreating some events, and some I got from that Gryffindor first year, David King.”

“It amazes me how alike David and Maxine are,” Lily said with a laugh. 

“Yeah, we should get them together when we go back,” said James, with a twinkle in his eye.

James started opening Charisse and Hayden’s gift.  It was a plain wooden box.  James looked up with a bit of confusion, and said, “Thank you.”

“Oh, honey, that’s not it!” said Charisse with a laugh. “Keep opening!”

He opened the box, and there was ANOTHER box…and then ANOTHER…and so on, for at least four boxes more.  James was getting impatient with he finally opened the smallest box.  Inside was a key. James looked up at Charisse and Hayden with confusion apparent in his eyes, and asked what the key was for. 

“It’s a house-key, to our house,” said Hayden quietly.  “We want you to know that we trust you.”

Lily’s eyes started to glaze over with happy tears, this was more than she had expected.  She definitely had not expected her parents to trust her boyfriend so much, but she was extremely happy about it nonetheless.  The Christmas present opening celebration was great, Lily ended up with a new watch from her father and an antique music box from her mother.

“Open it carefully, dear,” was her mother’s warning.  She opened it, and a chipped ballerina began to spin to (quite appropriately, I might add) “The Music Box Dancer”.  There was a black-and-white picture on the inside of the box, of a young woman Lily’s age, which looked remarkably like her. From what Lily could tell, she probably had fiery red hair as well. 

“Your grandmother,” said her mother quietly, with a somber expression.  Lily never knew her grandmother; she had died when Lily was two years old.  All of her relatives said that her grandmother was exactly like her, with musical and artistic talent, and the occasionally fiery temper.  Lily had always wished she got to know her grandmother; it would have been wonderful to have someone like her to confide in.  “This music box was hers…she gave it to me when I was your age.  It’s about time it was given to you, my dear.”

“Thank you, mum,” Lily said quietly, hugging her mother.

Petunia appeared on the stairs, fuming with jealousy.  “Why does SHE always get all of Nana’s things? I’M the one that KNEW her!” With that, the spoiled brat that is called Petunia ran up the staircase and slammed her bedroom door. (Extremely loud, mainly for effect, though.)

“Oh, dear,” said Charisse, running a hand through her fiery red mane.  “I hope Vernon’s not coming today…he’ll have to deal with quite an angry girlfriend.”

“I hope he’s not coming at ALL…” said Lily under her breath, but apparently not quietly enough.

“Lily! That’s not very nice…Petunia’s being nice to your boyfriend, isn’t she, James?” Hayden asked.

“Umm…yeah. Of course,” said James, not really sure how to answer.

“You don’t have to lie, you know,” said Lily, folding her arms across her chest grumpily.  “She hates me; she hates everything associated with me.”

Then the doorbell rang.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Vernon Dursley,” smugly said the chubby boy on the doorstep.  He looked around seventeen, and extended his hand to Mr. Evans.

“Hayden Evans and you know my wife, Charisse.  This is Petunia’s little sister, Lily.  She’s on vacation from her boarding school.”

Vernon smugly gave Lily a nod, which Lily coldly returned in the form of a brisk “hello”.

Her father continued, saying, “This is Lily’s boyfriend, James Potter.  He’ll be here until tonight, and then he and Lily will leave to spend a couple days at his parents’ house.”

Vernon nodded.  Charisse spoke up, and asked, “Would you like to come in?  Petunia is currently…uh…indisposed.  Lily, I wonder, would you be a dear and check on her for me?”

 Lily sighed, and got up off of the couch where she had been sitting.  She sullenly marched up the stairs and knocked on Petunia’s door. Inside she could hear music blasting.

It was one of Lily’s favorite Jimmy Buffett songs, Cuban Crime of Passion.

“Billy Voltaire was a piano player

Up from Miami way

He used to play in the bars,

He could sound like the stars

The ladies would pay and pay

Then one night he did wind up

Playin’ in Havana town

And nobody knew,

Least Billy Voltaire

That these were his final sounds…”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT!?” Petunia screamed over the music.

“…Cause he met up with Meritta,

A dancer in from the Coast

Half woman, half child,

She drove him half wild…”

“MOM WANTS YOU!! VERNON IS HERE!!!” Lily screamed back.

“ALRIGHT!! GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES!!” was the response.  Lily stayed at the top of the stairs until the song was over, and sang along.

“…He loved that lady the most

Till one night he did find her

In the arms of Shrimper Dan

So he pulled a knife,

Took poor Danny’s life

And then he turned his own cold hand.

And it’s just that Cuban Crime of Passion

Messy and old-fashioned

Yeah, that’s what the papers did say

It’s just a Cuban crime of passion

Anjejo and knives a slashin’

But that’s what the people like to read about

Up in America,

Up in America.

Well they never found Meritta,

Some people say she got ill

And Billy Voltaire had no one to claim him,

He was buried on

 Pauper’s hill.

And no one talks about ‘em no more,

It happened just a week ago,

But people get by and people get high,

In the tropics, they come and they go.”

Lily laughed as the song finished, and continued walking down the staircase.  A rather uncomfortable scene came into view.  Vernon was babbling about drills, and James was falling asleep on the couch (but nobody noticed), Charisse’s hand was shaking, and the teacup she was holding was on the verge of falling over, and Hayden was simply staring idly off into space.  Lily cleared her throat from the staircase.  James snorted and groaned, “No, Sirius, frog spawn, not diced gostanga root…”

“JAMES!” shouted his angry girlfriend from the stairs.

James shook his head, and slowly opened his eyes, moaning, “But, Mum, the train doesn’t leave till September first.”

“Actually, you missed it, it left several months ago,” was Lily’s icy response.

Then James actually woke up, to find Lily’s parents fighting to keep down laughter, Vernon inching away from him on the couch, Lily looking rather buggered off, and Petunia suddenly appearing on the stairs with utter horror on her face.

“Frog spawn? You mean that’s stuff’s REAL?!” said Vernon in disgust.

“What, um…no!!! Of course not!! Lily and I watched a movie about witches last night, didn’t we, Princess?” said James, furiously trying to make up for his little mishap.

“Oh, yes, we did,” said Lily, quickly taking the cue.  She continued down the staircase, and sat next to James.

Petunia continued descending the staircase with her snobby air, and usual ton of makeup.  Vernon went to meet her, and said, “You look lovely, Petty, darling.”

“You too, Vernon,” she said with a false giggle.  High-pitched, I might add, as well.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The day was an utter disaster.  At 4 pm, Charisse, Lily, and James gave up on Petunia and Vernon. (Hayden had gone to bed hours ago, complaining of a splitting headache.  He promised he would be there at dinner, however.) “So, mum, should we start dinner?” Lily asked.

“Sure, honey.  Oh, James dear, you can do whatever you like, you don’t have to help.”

“But I want to,” he said with a smile. “It’s much better than hearing about blasted drills for another hour.”

At this, Charisse and Lily started laughing.

Char responded with a perfect imitation of Vernon’s voice, “And my father says there’s a lot of money in the business,”

Lily, catching on, said, “And there’s always room for more drills in the toolbox, my father said.  Hyuk Hyuk. (Imitating Vernon’s laugh at his own cheesy joke).”

James caught on, but decided to imitate Petunia instead, “Oh MUMMY!! Vernon’s so handsome, and he’s got his own business!!! Eeee!!!” (He did full squeaking effects here)

Both mother and daughter started laughing hysterically, and preparing dinner was quite an enjoyable affair.

“Uh, mum, I just thought of something,” said Lily with worry.

“Yes, dear?”

“Well, if we’re all in here, and Dad’s in bed, then those two have been outside…unsupervised…for the past two bloody hours!”

Charisse winced at this thought, and replied, “Oh, I’m such a horrible mother.  I can’t even watch my kids and their boyfriends correctly.  I’m in here, making dinner with Lily and James, who I trust anyway, while Vernon’s out there doing god-knows-what with my other daughter!!”

James smiled.  “You’re a great mum, Mrs. Evans.  All you should do is go break those two up…it’s almost time for dinner anyway.”

“When are your parents getting here, dear?” asked a concerned Charisse.

“Soon, hopefully…I’m not even quite sure HOW they’re getting here….but they will, don’t worry,” said James confidently.

“Okay, well, let’s just pray they’re not snogging…I don’t need that mental picture for the rest of my life,” said Charisse, walking outside to break up the rather disgusting couple.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Potters arrived promptly at 6 pm, apparating inside of the Evans’ house, so as not to cause a scene.

“Good evening, ma’am,” Thomas Potter began properly, tapping Charisse’s shoulder.

“Agh!! Oh god, you scared me!! Good evening…Mr. Potter, correct?”

“Thomas will do, and you would be Mrs. Evans?”

“Charisse, or Char, whatever’s fine.  Where’s Mrs. Potter?”

“Oh, she’s just greeting the kids first…she hasn’t seen James since August, so she’s very excited about seeing him.”

“Well, naturally.  Allow me to take your coat.”

“Thank you…where is Mr. Evans?”

“Asleep.  I must wake him actually, he was very thrilled about this whole dinner…I’ll just be a moment.  You should chat with the kids and Mrs. Potter; I believe they’re in the living room.”

“Thank you,” said Mr. Potter with the famous Potter lopsided grin.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Lily was meeting James’ mother for the first time.

James said, “Hi Mum.  This is the girl I was telling you about, Lily Evans.”

“Why, hello, dear,” said Mrs. Potter.

“Oh, hello, Mrs. Potter, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said in her usual quiet Lily voice.

“So tell me more about yourself, how did you come to know my son?”

Lily excitedly launched into her babble-ridden story about the train ride to Hogwarts and such.  Mrs. Potter listened with interest, and laughed in all the right places.  She seemed to radiate warmth and understanding, and Lily felt very comfortable around her. In the middle of her tale, a tall brunette man with unkempt hair walked in.

“Dad!” said James. “This is my girlfriend, Lily Evans.”

Lily smiled at the man, and extended her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“Please, you can call me Tom.”  Lily looked surprised and pleased at the gesture and said, “Okay, Mr. Po- I mean, Tom.”

Thomas Potter laughed, and said, “Now what was Miss Lily here talking about?”

Lily laughed and restarted the whole story.  In the middle of her tale, she noticed that Petunia and Vernon were gone.  Charisse had broken up their snogging session about twenty minutes ago, but they hadn’t re-entered the house with her. 

“Excuse me for a moment,” she said quietly.  “James, you can take over our little story.  The James and Lily book is on the couch if you need some photographic aid…I’m off to find Pet and Vernon, again.”

James winced, and said, “Good luck.”

Lily could hear James continuing with “And then, she mentioned she wanted a monthly anniversary on Christmas. So I waited till September 25^th…”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was dark and cold outside, and Lily quickly folded her arms across her chest for warmth.  She heard a “mmm”-ing coming from the jasmine flowers on the left side of the yard.  Lily quickly averted her eyes, but it was too late.  Seeing Vernon and Petunia in a deep snogging session was more than she could bear.

“What are you doing here, you little freak?” came Petunia’s voice, in a dangerous hiss.

“Get out of here!! Unless…you’d like to join us?” said Vernon, his red face forming a suggestive smile.

“Oh my god! All I did was come out here to call you for dinner and tell you my boyfriend’s parents have arrived….this is beyond me.  I’m going inside. You had better follow if you know what’s good for you.”  Lily aimed her last comment at Petunia, because Petunia knew the full extent of Lily’s “capabilities”.   Vernon just attached the usual bewildered expression he always had, before Petunia pulled his close to her for more snogging.

Lily could feel her stomach start to turn…she thought she was going to be sick.  She despised getting sick, it made her feel worse, rather than better.  She had managed not to get sick since first year, and she was happy about that.  But the sight of Vernon’s pudgy face attached to Petunia’s bony cheekbones was more than she could bear.  Maybe the Potters knew some magical way to cure this.

She rushed inside and slammed the back door.  The Potters all looked up at her with curiosity, and Emilia asked, “What’s wrong, dear?”

“I think I’m going to be sick…I just saw Vernon and my sister snogging.”

James winced severely at this, but the Potters just looked politely bewildered, for they had no idea who Petunia or Vernon were.

“Well, honey, there’s not much we can do.  Actually…” Emilia said, with a slight glint in her eye.  “There is a potion…”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*